& Then They Wed (Ampersand Love #2)

19. Mistakes

19

Mistakes

Rian

I should have gone home, Rian thought, sitting in the dark upper balcony of the posh club he was in, watching people around him have fun and make merry. The episode with his mother had brought back memories he wished he could forget. Despite his friends trying to involve him in their fun, his altercation with Leela had put him in a terrible mood.

He was struggling. Worse, no one truly knew how bad things were with him and Leela. How hard he worked to come out from the shadows she’d thrust him under.

Those shadows had slithered out of the dungeon today and despite trying his best to fight them off, he couldn’t lock them away. The pressure within his chest increased, and the pounding ache between his eyes made their presence known. With each breath, his childhood flashed in front of his eyes. He relived the episodes that formed his nightmares even today .

The revelry around him only served to increase his anger because their carefree happiness seemed to mock him for his inability to break free of his burdens. His resentment grew. Had he been in his right mind, he would have known the futility of such feelings.

He barely acknowledged Arjun and Kaya as they left their private booth to head to the bar. Vihaan had been strangely tense as well, but it was Aditi whose gaze he wanted to avoid. He sipped his drink, refusing the alcohol in case it tipped him over the edge. He was wound too tightly anyway. Better to leave, he decided.

“Where are you going?” Aditi looked up at him, surprised when he stood up and shrugged his jacket on.

“Home. I’ll send the car for you later.”

His voice was gruff, his mouth thin. Aditi took a step after him, holding his arm. She searched his face for answers, wondering what had happened that had put Rian in such an unsettling mood. The relaxed, sweet man she’d come out to dinner with had been replaced with someone who looked like he was locked in a battle with demons no one could see.

“Do you want to dance? They’ll be starting up the music soon.”

“No. I’m fine. I should go.”

“How about karaoke?” she offered, pointing to the side room that had been set up for private entertainment.

He stiffened at the offer, shaking his head once, but all Aditi could see was that he needed a change of scenario. She felt his tension leach into her and she hated it. Pasting on a bright smile, she leaned in.

"Come on, Bugs, let's go sing a duet."

"I don't like singing, Aditi. Leave me be."

"Please, it'll be fun! They have good songs to choose from."

"I don't want to,” came his answer once again, the vein in his forehead ticking dangerously.

Unfortunately for her, her determination to lead Rian out of his bad mood meant that she disregarded the signs of danger.

"Bugs.” She tugged at him playfully. “Let’s go. "

"I said no!” he burst out, his voice louder than she’d expected.

The fury with which he jerked off her hold had her gasping. She saw Vihaan frown, stepping closer to her just as Arjun and Kaya returned, their relaxed smiles waning when they registered the tense atmosphere.

Rian, in the throes of anger, couldn’t hold back.

“How many fucking times do I need to say no? If you want to make a fool of yourself for someone's entertainment, go right ahead. Leave me the hell alone!”

Aditi stared at him, her face turning white with shock, and then red.

"S-sorry," she croaked, embarrassed. She bit down on the inside of her lip, unable to utter another word. She clutched the side of her dress to hide her shaky hands. "I. . .I think I need a drink.” Avoiding all eye contact, she slipped away before anyone could stop her.

The silence that surrounded him after Aditi’s footsteps faded felt like a judgement in and of itself. His eyes remained stuck on the empty space she’d left, his wrath now twisting and flowing inwards, the object of his disgust morphing from Leela Shetty to himself.

"How could you be so rude to her?" Kaya chastised him.

"She was being pushy." One part of him wanted to hold on to any reason to justify his outburst, the fear of hating himself stopping him from admitting that he had royally fucked up.

"She was being fun,” Vihaan snapped. “We can all see you’re pissed about something. Her only mistake was that she tried to help you.”

“Who pushed a stick up your ass tonight?” Arjun asked, clearly unhappy with Rian as well.

"You should apologise to her,” Kaya suggested.

"Right after all of you get the fuck off my case," he snarled, his ego buckling down hard.

"What the hell is your problem, Rian?” Vihaan argued, taking an agitated step towards him. Kaya held him back .

"Shut up, Vihaan."

"Or what? I met her just tonight and even I know she didn't deserve this shit attitude."

Rian said nothing, stalking towards the railing that allowed him to look down into the busy club. His eyes fell upon a familiar green dress, the shapely figure of the woman he’d wounded walking along the periphery of the dance floor. His hand clenched over the metal bar, needing something to hold back this violence within him. The vision of her joy dimming, her face etched with painful embarrassment at his scolding now joined the multitude of other memories that already tortured him.

"Get your head out of your ass before I beat the shit out of you,” Vihaan hissed, his patience gone. “I'm going to go look for her. I'd rather hang out with her than with you right now."

Rian said nothing, inspecting Aditi as best he could. Even from a distance, he could tell that she was tense— no longer the same smile or cheer on her face. He'd taken that away. Acid burned his stomach.

"Whatever your reason for acting like this, you know as well as I do that Aditi didn't deserve to be insulted.” Kaya linked her arm with Arjun, shaking her head in disappointment when her friend didn’t acknowledge them. "I'm going to go make sure she's okay, too. You can stay here and sulk or you can do the right thing and explain yourself to her."

With that, Rian was left alone with emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, and a sinking feeling that he may have damaged the opinions of the only people in the world who mattered to him.

Aditi stood at the counter, her mind in a daze. The bartender asked her something. She saw his lips move, but she heard nothing. The shock of Rian’s reaction hadn’t worn off. The joy of new friends and a fun outing had been obliterated when he’d yelled at her. In the time she’d known him, he’d only ever been kind and indulgent. Even when he’d not wanted her around, he had never been outright rude .

She stood there, her heart murmuring uncomfortably, until a gentle hand shook her out of her reverie. She glanced beside her, coming face to face with a lady she didn’t know. Tall and svelte, she was possibly one of the most stunning women Aditi had ever seen. The kind who would be an artist’s muse, a man’s desire, and a woman’s envy.

Her confidence was obvious given her demeanour as she coolly dismissed the men nearby who were trying to gain her attention.

This was a woman who would never have let someone’s rudeness affect her.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her kindness making Aditi’s eyes burn and her nostrils flare. Perhaps her dismay was clear because she turned to the bartender and ordered two drinks, handing her one. Aditi accepted it numbly, gulping it down without thought.

“If it's a man who has you looking like you’re going to cry, it’s not worth it.” Her tone was devoid of judgement. Her gaze flickered to behind Aditi and almost instantly, the tiny turn of her lips tightened into a firm line, the kindness in her cat eyes all but lost.

“You,” Aditi heard her hiss like it was a curse word, just as Vihaan reached her.

Unlike the playful, flirtatious man he’d been all through dinner, he looked like he was preparing for war with this mystery woman.

“What the hell are you doing here, Vera?”

The lady watched him for a long moment before shifting her gaze to Aditi, as though trying to assess their relationship.

“If it’s because of him,” Vera told Aditi, her smile no different than a sneer, “it's definitely not worth it.”

With that, she left, her blood-red dress disappearing into the throng of people who were crowding the dance floor.

Aditi turned towards Vihaan, the unmistakable tightness of his jaw and the glimmer in his eyes telling her those words had affected him. Just like Rian’s words had affected her .

With a sigh, she turned to the bartender and ordered another drink, hoping that this one would be strong enough to dull the ache and bury the fear that had developed in her.

Rian could hurt her.

And tonight, it had become clear that if he did, she would cry.