9
Xander
Chile
We stand in the shadows watching James blow the festival wide open. He’s shirtless, as are Bucky and Fin, the girls are losing it, and the place is rocking. The crowd has gone wholly crazy for them. We won’t be headlining long—they will be. And to be honest, I’m fucking happy about it. If we can get away with playing less and sending out quality stuff, I would let him take over now.
I watch Marcus watching him in wonder. He turns and grins at me. “Can you fucking believe how good they are? They’ve come on again since the summer, with the live stuff. Have you helped him, Xan? I can see some of your stuff in this.” Every word is said in awe. Every word has love in it.
“Not much. They’re real smart.” I’m taking no credit for this, it’s all them and their hard work.”
Gabe and Levi appear and smile up at the stage. As we’ve drawn a bit of a crowd around us, James sees us all and comes over, blowing us all kisses.
“Say hi to my dads,” he says to the crowd, and they go wild when they see where he’s pointing.
“Good job he isn’t singing with us tonight,” says Gabe, “he’ll be knackered.”
“You were never knackered at nineteen, Gabe,” Marcus reminds him. “Neither are they.”
We’re clapping along with the music and the rest of the crowd, when Tim comes over. “Fucking amazing,” he says. “Thank god you’re such an idiot, Marcus, otherwise someone else would have found them.”
We all grin at the men on the stage, thinking back to that. We’re so proud of them all, and I just hope we can keep them all safe. No matter what else happens, I know I’ll give my last breath trying.
The festivals roll on as per usual. Different countries, different women. Levi has brought out the two friends of Becky’s who were at the New Years party in LA. Becky’s calls have definitely lessened, so maybe Levi’s tactics have finally gotten through. I have zero interest, and can see the guys all exchanging glances as I bat off the women’s obvious advances. It’s fucking depressing. The vacuous nature of it all. I think I might be having a pre midlife crisis.
At the beginning of February, Marcus finally talks Evie into coming out with the twins. We’re down in Brazil, as it coincides with Carnival season, lots going on. Rio is alive with colour and music.
James and Bucky are with us, so she loads up the kids and comes out. Brazil is a long flight, but is not far behind in terms of time, so the jetlag shouldn’t play havoc with the babies.
Marcus is like a man possessed. His smile could light up Rio, his energy boosting any electricity grid, he’s unrestrictedly buzzing they’re here. He takes the twins, with James arguing over which one to hold, around the hotel, showing them off to anyone who looks their way.
Evie has Betty the nanny with her, and is prepping the suite for the kids. She’s laughing, saying they’re more demanding than either me or Kell. We’re both in the living area, the nanny is putting clothes away, so I take the opportunity to spend a little time with her.
“Are you tired, Kitten? Do you need a nap before dinner?” I ask gently. It’s not quite dinner time and we’ve booked a restaurant the babies can come to. I pull her into me and we’re stood together. Holding her close, her rose and summer rain scent blanks out all thought, my total focus is her. She drops her head onto my shoulder.
“We missed you at Christmas,” she says quietly. “All of us. It’s not the same if you’re not there, but I understand why you didn’t come.” She gifts me a small, apologetic smile. Her face always shows me what she thinks. I’ve gotten so used to reading it. Memories from years ago, all that history helps me now.
“Do you?” I look down at her, pushing her hair away from her face. “Do you know why I never came?”
Looking up at me with clear, beautiful, grey eyes, she nods. Opening her mouth to tell me, she closes it quickly when we hear a throat being cleared and turn to see the nanny staring at us from the bedroom door.
“All done?” Evie asks her, but she doesn’t move away from me. I don’t let her go either.
“Yes, all away. I’ll just go to my room and wait for them to come back.” She drops her eyes and heads down the hallway.
Evie turns her eyes to me. “That’ll get reported back.” She rolls her eyes.
“She spying on you, Kitten?” I make light of the situation. Shuttering my gaze as normal.
“I think so, but no one else seems to. Jonno says she’s not reporting to anyone, so…” She shrugs. “Just a feeling I get.”
The door bangs open and Marcus walks in with Lochi. I know he sees me holding his wife, but he comes towards us with a smile. He kisses Evie and then goes to kiss me on the cheek as a joke, but pushes the baby at me instead.
“Take him, he weighs a tonne. Is it still just milk they’re getting? Because they’re heavy weights.”
“You’re such a wimp, Dad,” jokes Bucky, coming up behind him with Sorley in his arms. I feel Evie stiffen as she looks at him, her eyes burning into his. He looks at her, not a word is said, but she moves towards him.
“James, take the baby,” she instructs, not taking her eyes off Bucky. Sorley is dutifully handed over, but Bucky remains transfixed. He can’t move. Evie stands in front of him, and when she opens her arms to him, he falls into her, his knees buckling, and starts to fucking cry.
We move as one towards the door to give them some privacy. They’re utterly oblivious, her grown son in her arms. James is looking over-emotional as I push him and Marcus with the babies into a smaller sitting room.
“What the fuck is going on?” I look at James. “Did you know he was that bad?” I hiss at him, trying to be quiet.
James nods. “I think that’s also what’s brought Mum out. He was on FaceTime the other day and she got a good look at him. He’s hidden from her since Christmas. He knew she’d see through him.”
“What is it? Drugs, women, drink? What?” I ask him, trying to get a handle on this to help the boy.
“All of them. He had some model from one of his shoots in the UK, she was no good for him, though. Gave him a tonne of drugs all the time. I told him to get rid, but,” he shrugs his shoulders. “He ended it before Christmas and was better after being in Devon for a bit. But as soon as we come back out again…” His shoulders are up around his ears. A helpless shrug. “It’s fucking everywhere. I’ve tried to stop it before the show, but Nicci is hard work as well. His fucking brother is dealing.” James’s face shows his stress, worry, and disgust.
“Why haven’t you told the tour manager, Nev? He’d help sort it,” Marcus says to him, watching his son closely, checking out every nuance of James.
James laughs out sarcastically. “Nev? He’s part of the problem. Pushing at Bucky all the time to go out, to be wilder and wilder. He’s fucking nuts at the best of times. But it’s headlines, good or bad.” He shakes his head. “And Bucky is hardly inconspicuous at any time of day. Nev also has that bitch Debs on ‘social media’”—he puts air quotes sarcastically around the words—“documenting it all and posting shit.” James’s voice has gone up a decibel now. “Surely you’ve seen some of the stuff. They’re dripping it out, and Bucky gets more upset as he knows it’s our team doing it.” James scrubs his hand down his face. “I spoke to Jonno about it, but I’ll sort it out myself if they don’t stop.”
We look at each other. We know the drill. Bad boys sell, it’s just human nature.
“You should have said earlier,” I tell him. “We would have sorted it before Christmas.”
He shrugs. “Bucky said he could handle it. He knew what was going on, but he worries about what Mum thinks, so I’m glad she’s here.” James looks relieved.
“Are you alright, James?” asks Marcus, looking into his son's eyes. Searching for signs that he is or isn’t. “We can stop all this shit if we need to. It’s not an issue. You come first. You, Bucky and the lads. I won’t tolerate it.” Marcus has gone into daddy mode.
“I’m fine. I like touring, we all do. It’s just the bullshit that they’re cultivating. We’re fucking good, surely we don’t need it? Has the label asked them to do it?” James looks at us both quizzically, he knows something is not right here.
“No fucking way,” I say. “And if Nev says we have, he’s a liar. He doesn’t know we own it, so let’s see who he says gave the okay. That’ll be interesting.” My anger has started to simmer. What the fuck is going on with my family?
I can see Marcus is getting ready to blow. “Too fucking right. I’ll kill them. I’ll get Tim on it straight away.” He puffs out his chest. “Bastards. Do they know Bucky belongs to us?” he asks James.
“Not sure. He always calls you Dad, but I think Nev just thinks he’s being funny.”
“He’ll find the fuck out how funny I am,” Marcus says as the door opens and in comes the two of them, Bucky looking better already.
“So then, who do I kill first?” she asks, putting her hands on her hips. Her face is a mask of murderous intent. We all look at each other and start to laugh.
After a few days of intense intervention, everyone is starting to look better. Marcus is glowing, obviously sex is good. Bucky is calmer. James looks less stressed, as he can unburden himself on his mother. And me, well, maybe not everyone. I’m happy they’re here, but the urges to touch all the time are driving me to distraction.
Along with the fucking nanny. I’m with Evie. She is watching every move, and, I note, all over Marcus. We’ve pushed our show time back an hour so Evie will be able to feed the twins and then come to the show. The nanny babysits, with Darryl, who’s looking after security for Evie, for support. Tommy’s taking some time off, so a new guy—Zak—has been added to the security detail for James and Bucky.
We have a meeting with Nev and the team in a few hours in the suite. Evie is feeding the boys and the tractor beam is on full power as I go into the main family room. Marcus is with her in the bedroom. I move towards it and see the nanny look at me, like I shouldn’t be here, and go to say something to stop me. Walking past her into the bedroom, I leave the door open. I want to see her reaction to things.
I get onto the bed at the other side of Evie and kiss the head of the boy nearest to me, which is clearly a really intimate thing to do as the child is latched onto her breast. I see Betty’s eyes pop out of her head, and she stares at the five of us.
She hasn’t recovered her equilibrium as James, followed closely by Bucky, comes in and heads straight for the bedroom, flopping on the bed. One of the boys, Lochi I think it is, comes off her breast and looks at James as he makes a noise and then goes back to his lunch.
“Typical man,” says Evie, “food first.”
Bucky leans over and kisses the boys. I practically hear Betty hiss from the living room. She better get used to this shit or she’s not going to last.
“Is something wrong, Betty?” I call through and we all look at her. She’s so uncomfortable at being called out on whatever shit she’s thinking.
Clearly Evie is used to having everyone around her. Her brothers were all over James from the time he was born, and it’s exactly the same with the twins. She has Marshall plus all the Greystones at home. She’s a mother feeding her boys. This nanny needs to get a grip.
“N- no, sorry,” she stammers out. “Just not used to seeing everyone here.”
“At least we’re all dressed,” says Marcus flatly. “Could be worse.” He starts to laugh and she turns away, beet red.
“Stop it, Kellen. You’re embarrassing her,” Evie pokes kindly.
“Probably imaging him naked now,” says James slyly so only we can hear him, all the while looking over at Betty. “It’s obvious.”
Evie looks at him shrewdly. “I think the same, James. Glad I’m not going nuts.” She sounds relieved.
Marcus is gawping at them both. “What? You don’t think I encourage her, do you?” The panic in his voice is so different from his normal cocky indifference. They both shake their heads, surprised by his panicked tone. “I’ll nip it in the bud,” he says, a determined expression settling on his handsome face.
“Be gentle if possible?” asks Evie.
I smile indulgently at her, mirroring her gentle tone. She’s trying to be nice to people who are after her husband. You can be too kind. It fascinates me, the juxtaposition. I know how ruthless she can be, how the pendulum can swing from ruthless to kind. She’s clearly trying to give Betty the benefit of the doubt. I just wonder how long it will last.
“You can’t be nice to everyone, Kitten. It’s not possible.” I kiss Sorley’s head.
“Do you want to take him? He’s just sucking for comfort, he’s asleep.”
I look at her as she moves him off, and I can hardly keep my eyes off her tits. They’re huge. But I move her shirt over as if I’m covering her up. I catch Marcus watching me, and the arse smirks. Fucker. He fucking knows the effort that would take.
Lifting the sleeping boy, I put him on my shoulder, winding him so he can go down. Marcus takes Lochi to do the same, and just as the little ones move away, the big ones move into their spot.
“You two? Aren’t you a bit big for a cuddle with your mother?” I mock them.
“You aren’t, so why should we be?” says James with a too innocent look on his face, the little shit. Making a song and dance about snuggling up to his mum.
Marcus starts to crack up. “Smoked by the teenager,” he laughs out.
As both boys cuddle their mum, she shakes her head at us all. “You lot need to stop,” she says, grinning. “And no one is too big for cuddles, ever ,” she says as she pulls them both into her.
“Get us a drink, Dads,” Bucky demands, his natural exuberance returning more by the hour.
“Are we servants for you two?” asks Marcus, jokingly. Moving to put Lochi into the crib, he nods for me to put Sorley in with him.
“Yes,” nods James. “You’ve got eighteen years to make up.”
Marcus points at them. “You already had me on the hop in London. Harass Xander. He hasn’t had to put up with you on your own.”
They both look at me, expressions full of innocence.
James smirks. “Drink, Dad?”
He’s definitely been listening. I look at Marcus who is regarding him, clearly thinking the same thing. Our faces must be a picture of panic and terror, with fake smiles thrown in for good measure. It reminds me of LA, that first christmas.
“Your turn, Xan,” he says, and lays back down with his boys. “I’ll have a whiskey while you’re up.”
The drinks all ordered, I wander into the living room and see Betty in the corner of the room, out of sight but not earshot.
“Can I get you a drink, Betty?” I ask. Viscount Sterling, in full polite mode. “I’m clearly in charge of the drinks, so what can I rustle up for you?” I offer her a contrived polite smile. She must be an idiot if she doesn’t see the fake bonhomie.
“I’m fine, thanks,” she snaps out. “I’m just going to get some food while the boys are sleeping so I’m ready for later.”
I nod my head towards her and watch as she moves out of the room. I need to speak to Jonno. She definitely isn’t right. But what the hell is she doing if not reporting in? And to whom?
As the littles doze, we continue to lay comfortably together, chatting and all drinking alcohol apart from Evie. “Do we need to move the boys?” I ask as Bucky gets cracking with a funny story that has Marcus and I in tears.
“No, they need to get used to sleeping with a bit of noise, otherwise they’ll wake all the time,” Evie says. “James and Bucky used to sleep regularly at the drop of a hat, a snack after school and a nap before dinner. With all my brothers shouting in the house, they were never bothered, were you?” she prompts the boys.
They both shake their heads. “Can still sleep anywhere. Good training, Momma,” says Bucky, snuggling down for a nap now.
“What’s it like not to sleep, Xan?” asks James from his position under the crook of Evie’s arm.
“Hard work,” I say.
James gets up to nip to the loo and I take his place. We all look at him as he comes back in and scowls at me. We’re all grinning at him.
“Snooze you lose, sucker.” I push further into Evie, to wind him up.
“God, you two are hotter than the twins.” She flaps her shirt at me and Bucky.
Marcus gets up and turns up the AC while we all continue to lay comfortably in silence. And I fall the fuck asleep.
I haven’t slept for a week at least, and when I wake, the only one left is Evie. I’m still in the same place, and she’s holding me. I look up at her and smile. “How long?”
“Four hours. Not enough, but some,” she whispers, moving my hair across my forehead.
I close my eyes and stay as I am. I feel so relaxed, maybe her being here won’t be so bad on all levels. I might get some sleep.
The twins’ cry makes it to my ears a moment before the door pushes open. Marcus comes in, shutting the door behind him. “Kitten, the dinner bell has rung.”
He nods his head towards the room next door. But instead of waiting for her to move, he gets on the bed behind her and kisses her, smiling into her mouth as he does.
Looking over at me when he lets her up for air, he asks, “Feel better, Xan, for that snooze?” He's touching her body as he’s talking to me. I watch his hands, and as I nod, he cups her breasts. “These are heavy again. God knows how you do it.” He’s pecking at her lips, and running his thumbs over her swollen breasts.
“I need to eat,” she complains. “Can someone order me food? Otherwise I won’t make enough for them. I need calories.” She smiles up at him and turns towards him, her head twisted backwards to kiss him back.
She gently pushes her tits into his hands. It’s an unconscious move, but, fuck, now I have a hard-on watching them.
Marcus takes my hand and puts it on her stomach. Her skin is hot, smooth, velvet softness under my fingers, burning me, but she doesn’t move away. I draw circles on her stomach, running my hand around her abdomen, and when she moans into his mouth, my cock twitches at the sound.
The cry gets louder and she pulls away from us. “Dinner time,” she says lightly, jumping up and moving straight towards the doors and out of the bedroom into the living room.
Marcus looks intently at me. I’m not sure what his expression is telling me, but I smile and release a deep breath before stating, “She’s going to fucking kill us for sure.”
The tension subsides immediately as he grins at me.
“I’ve told you that a million times. Come out when you’re ready.”
He pats me on the shoulder as he moves to join his family.