Thick as Thieves (The Greystone Family: Stolen Hearts #3)

Chapter 16

16

Evie

What the hell has he done? He’s blown us all up.

I sit still for what feels like forever, my mind coming back to him whispering he’ll wait. Give me time.

But his scent lingers, it still surrounds me, the woods, the green fields. A scent I love, but a man I love also?

But how? How do I love him when I love Kellen? Love or in love, is it only women that make the distinction?

I know I am in love with him. I need to be honest with myself. And I know I have been for a while. I certainly didn’t want him to go to LA. I want him with me. When he touched me in Brazil, would I have stopped him if he’d have gone further?

I close my eyes and the tears still flow. Why did Kellen keep this from me? He should have said something. At least I would have known what I was dealing with.

I’m still sitting in the same place when Betty comes in with the twins. Time to feed them for the night. Time. It’s still moving on. Even though life as I know it may have stopped, everyone else’s is still moving forwards.

Kellen is on his way. Oh God, I’m going to have to make a decision. Xander has pushed us to a point of no return. A precipice. In or out? Fully committed or not, to both of them. Jesus, what has he done?

“Are you alright Evie?” Betty asks me as I take the boys automatically, letting them latch on.

I nod, not saying anything.

“I’ll come back when they’ve finished,” she says, staring at me.

I nod again and sit back. I look at the boys' heads, and their hands touching my skin. Sorley especially likes to touch me all the time he is feeding, his little hands seeking comfort.

I bend my head to kiss theirs. What about these two? And my other older boys? What will they think? What will they have to endure because two men love me and I them? It shouldn’t matter. Shouldn’t be anyone’s business, but it will be. They’re high-profile men, in different ways, both of them. All of them.

“What have you done?” I whisper out.

Betty comes back an hour or so later with an invite. She thrusts the paper at me like it’s contaminated goods and she might catch something toxic from it. Even though no one has clued her into what the party tonight might involve, the look on her face is purely judgemental. “The party planner gave me this for you.” She hands over a piece of parchment with a number ten on it. I nod again. “Are you alright?” she asks, checking my eyes for signs of life. Genuine concern finally cracks through her normally indifferent fa?ade. ”You don’t look good at all.” She reaches her hands out to me. “I’ll take the boys. I’ve got the milk for tomorrow so we won’t see you again until the afternoon feed.” I nod again and she takes the boys and puts them in the pushchair. They’re staying on the other side of the house, away from the mayhem.

I just carry on sitting there, and am still sitting there way past the time the party should have started, when Tarron walks in.

“Not going to the party, Evie?”

I look up. I have no idea what time it is. A glance at the clock tells me it’s 11:35 p.m. I’ve been sitting here for hours, and no one has come. I shake my head at him but say nothing.

Then suddenly, I aggressively spit out, “Can you find Tommy for me?” I don’t even add a please.

“Why? Are you leaving them?” He asks me as if he’s asking if I want a drink. As if what he’s implying is totally run of the mill.

I look at him sharply. “So what if I am?” I feel mutinous. Angry.

He sighs and sits down on the bed next to me. “It’s my fault you know.” I look at him in disbelief. “The fact he asked you, I told him in a roundabout way to do it. I’ve been telling him since November. I saw how he looked at you, always did. But he’s struggling and I wanted it to end, one way or another.” He drops his head. His hands clasped in his lap.

“Struggling how? He seemed fine on tour,” I say to him.

“Really? Come now, Evie, you know that’s not true. Can you imagine what it feels like to see the woman and man you love, are in love with, love each other and not you?”

“I do love him.” I frown at Tarron. How can he say that?

“Really? Then why are you leaving him, them?”

He sits, looking at me, waiting for my answer. And I can’t give him one.

“Do you love him as a brother? A friend? If yes, then I agree with you. Leave. I’d rather you break his heart now. At least he was brave enough to ask. To tell you what he wants, how he’s wanted it for so long. I’m really proud of him. Xander may be the only one of you who’s been honest. Marcus hasn't; he's always afraid you’ll leave him again. You seem afraid of what people may think. Only my Xander is unafraid. Or, even if he is, he’s prepared to put it on the line to be happy. I’m so proud of him.” His blue eyes spark out at me. Arrogance oozing from him. Proud of his son.

I sit and stare at him, not sure what to say, but listening intently to his words, absorbing them. Am I afraid of what people think? Is that my only real concern? And he still goes on. “I told him a tale about myself. How I was afraid to go for what I wanted. And how to this day I still regret it. Oh it may not have worked out. And to be honest, if the woman was not prepared to give me any idea she was willing to be brave with me, maybe my regrets all these years have been wasted.

“But Evie, you don’t seem to be in that boat. I’ve seen you with my son, how you care for him, love him. And it’s beyond normal friendship. He told me about when you were young in the graveyard, what you said, what you did.” He pauses as he lets that sink in. Letting me know the length of time we are talking about. “I knew then he loved you, regardless of Russell.”

He touches my face and wipes away the tears I did not know were falling again. “Be brave for them, my daughter. I think you are probably the bravest and the most fearless amongst them. You would make the hard decisions. But see, this one, it isn’t that hard. Not really. Not from where you are now. Maybe at eighteen years old it would have been. But not at thirty seven.”

I nod at him. Trying to get my brain to focus, and my mouth to coordinate.

“Where are they?” I ask, quietly but firmly. My brain is starting to function, and my mind is starting to clear.

“I believe they are still in that tent, room ten. If you love them like you say you do, then the decision is very easy. Shut out the noise and focus on them.”

I lean forwards before he can go and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you, Tarron.” I rake my eyes over his kind face, so like Xan’s in many ways.

The smile he returns is beautifully genuine. “Whatever you decide, I will always love you. You and all of your boys are welcome here anytime.”

He gets up to go. And I need to make a decision.

I swing from yes to no to don’t know and back again. I’ve no one to speak to, nobody to trust with this dilemma. Maybe Jonno? I hem and haw and finally dial him.

“What?” He’s always the same. Normally it’s ”Why?”

I don’t say a word.

“They didn’t,” he breathes out, aghast.

“Jonno, are you kidding me? You know?” I screech down the phone at him. For God's sake. He knew?

“Well, I didn’t know if Xander had the bottle. I suspected. But it seems he does keep surprising me. I’m assuming it was Xander?” He sounds so matter of fact.

“Yep. But, how did you know?” I can hardly get my words out. He knew and never said.

“James overheard them talking in Chile—bits and bobs—but it’s so obvious if you know them. I wondered if they’d ask. I know it’s something Xan has wanted for a long time, but I didn't think he’d go for it though. Kellen’s too worried you’d leave after what you did about France. Xander thinks more, and is, well, just more everything.” He laughs. “You worried?” He sounds so nonchalant.

“Yes. I have kids.”

My brain is trying to process the fact that he suspected this. And James? Really?

“James knows? Really? What did he say about it?” My heart is going at a rate of knots wondering what my son thinks of this. Us. What the hell has been going on? Right under my nose? I must be as blind as a bat.

“Seems ok with it. Said Xander was all over him right from the off, as much as Kell so—” He pauses and then says, “Did you not notice he was calling Xan Papa?”

Oh God. The signs have been there. I’ve obviously been breezing past them. Or, more likely, too scared to actually look.

“I did. I just thought he’d thought of another way to bug them.” I’m amazed. My brain is zinging all over the place to different times and situations now. Things said, sometimes in jest, sometimes not.

“Maybe ring James if you can, but he’s fine. He’s James, happy if you are.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes before he says, “Evie, they’re a lot. Do you think you can handle them both?”

I don’t answer for a minute, my mind conjuring up images of them. Beautiful, beautiful men. The pair of them. What the hell am I thinking? I must be deranged to be actually contemplating this.

“Don’t know, maybe, I’m not sure…”

My stomach feels like the bees have set off into a swarm, partying really hard in there. I feel a bit light headed. The stress is at crazy levels, my adrenaline must be through the roof.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you can.” He breaks my bee party up. “You have been for this last year, and you did before.” He’s so calming, I think he must be channelling Marshall.

Oh God, Marshall. What will he say? My nausea ramps back up.

“But we were never all together. It was only ever Kell. And we were eighteen-year-old kids, not adults with responsibilities.” I rationalise, my desperation evident in my voice. “We’ve other people to consider now. And you know how it’ll play out. I’m some sort of hussy. Two men tut, tut, tut. They’ll have their backs slapped, rock stars go, go, go.” I’m pumping my fist in the air. Imagining the two of them walking down an avenue of supporters, as if they’re at a football match and have secured the points with a winning goal. Slaps on the back, calls of support and adulation. I’m at the back, being jeered and catcalled.

Jonno drags me out of my own head. “So fucking what? You’re not the first down this road and you won’t be the last. Maybe the most well-known, though.” I feel him grin down the phone. He’s in the Kell and Xan camp of who gives a shit.

“Jonno, not helping,” I squeeze out.

“Do you want to know what I think you should do?” He’s assertive. I can almost feel him straightening up to tell me.

“Yes.” I’m begging for someone else to make this decision. Take all the responsibility away from me. Please do it, Jonno. Tell me what I should do.

“Right then. I would do it. Why the fuck not. If it all goes tits up, at least you can sell your story and make a fortune.” He’s laughing at that. But then his voice turns serious. “It’s really just an extension of how you all live anyway. Minus the sex of course. You haven’t had sex with Xan, have you?”

“No Jonno. I haven’t. But clearly I’ll have to if I say yes.” My voice is reaching fever pitch as I contemplate that one. “And as you well know, brother, I don’t need cash. Besides, if I divorced the bastards, you could steal all their money from their banks, so again, no need to sell a story.”

“Now you’re thinking like a Greystone. I love it, but still, I would do it.” He’s deadly serious now.

“You haven’t asked me if I love them, him, Xander.”

“No need to on that one, Kitten. You do. You snogged the face off Xander when you were fourteen. Blew his mind. Fucked Kell’s brains out of his head at sixteen, and again at thirty six. Not that he had much to start with.”

I puff out a sigh at his random cataloguing of my relationship thus far.

“I better go, Jonno. I love you, baby bro. See you when you come home. Kiss Marshall for me.”

“Go for it. They make you happy even though they’re crazy. They love you, Kitten. You love them. Nothing else really matters.” He blows me a kiss down the phone and then hangs up.

I look at the clock, 11:57.

I shove a skirt on and an old pair of Blundstone boots and run out the door. I hear the buzzer sound as I reach the bottom step of the black tent stairs. I hope I’m not too late, although for what I have no idea. What if they have women lined up to commiserate with? What if the room is full of them fucking everyone? I feel sick, and my bees have started to swarm again. Fuck it. I’ll drag 'em all off and kill the bastards.

I find door ten and push it open with force.