32
Evie
He’s here. I hear him speak in Spanish to Roza. He’s a dark horse—he’s not done that for the three months we’ve been here. I smile. I should’ve known. He wouldn’t let me stay somewhere he didn’t know what was going on. He does our knock, a code we worked out years ago so I would know it was him.
I open the door and Tommy stands there, shaking his head at me.
His eyes take me in, and he goes abnormally still. “What’s up, are we leaving? What’s happened, Kiddo?”
I wipe at my eyes. I haven't got time for tears, even though they’re tears of frustration. I throw my hands in the air in helplessness and he pulls me into a hug.
“Give yourself a minute. You’ve had a lot to process these last few months. The kids, them two, the press, living here, the hounding we’re getting every day.” He pulls me into his chest tighter. “I see you, pulling on your armour every morning, having to listen to the vile things that are said.” He pushes me back gently to look at my face. “We can leave, go home to Devon and Marshall. They’ll come. They won’t manage without you. You are it, Evie. You are the thing that binds everyone. Do not underestimate that.” He’s imploring me to be rational.
“I feel like I’m always running away, Tom. But then I go back, just like with my brothers.” I hear the disgust in my own voice.
“But you didn’t go back. It’s not the same as it was, it never will be.” He shakes his head at me. “But you have to say what you want. You don’t ask for it, Kiddo. You let them push you around in a nice way, they’re such forceful personalities. You don’t do anything, but then you blow up. Go big or go home was invented for you, Evie. Then everyone panics.”
“I’ve told them I don’t want communal sex. I’ve told them loads of times. I’m not sure how much clearer I can be on that.” My voice is low. This is sooo embarrassing.
“Is that what’s causing this?” He’s incredulous, raising his eyebrows at them more than me.
I nod, blowing out a breath of exasperation and hurt. Not wanting to start yet on the other villainy. “Partly. I heard Texas and Co talking about what Xan’s got planned. I’m to be tied up and then they’re forming an orderly queue, with Texas at the front apparently, to do with me as directed by Xander for his birthday wish.” I shake my head, my heart starting to harden along with my resolve. “Hell will freeze over before I do that.” I’m also starting to simmer when I think about it. “Do you think he wants that?” I’m trying to parse out the reality of the situation, because after everything, I can’t believe he wants that. He’s never said he did. My eyebrows are near my hairline now.
“I think you need to talk to him, to them,” he says seriously, his face a mask.
“Well, to top this night off, and I don’t think for one minute we’re finished yet, I’ve just had a very enlightening call with my brother.”
I deliberately don’t name which one. I wonder if he knows all about what I’m going to say. He looks wary now.
“My husband and my-whatever he is,” I say dismissively. Tommy looks shocked by my tone of voice. “They had my twin's paternity tested more or less at birth, against my very expressly voiced wishes. Did you know that Tommy?”I feel violated, ill, as I say those words.
He looks down. That’s a ‘yes’ then.
I don’t wait for his lies, or explanations. “And then I find out he kissed Isobel at his birthday party and she had his cock in her hands and he never said a word. Did you know that, Tommy?”
He looks up at that. ‘No’ then.
I stand and stare at him. “He and Xander cooked that test up to ‘protect me and the twins.’ What a load of crap.” I can’t even think straight anymore. How dare they.
I stare at him again. I don’t think he knows what to do. “And to top it off”—my voice is in the rafters now—“apparently I don’t need to worry about a paternity test for any other kids. Because my incredibly considerate husband went and got the snip. Again without telling me, or asking if I wanted any more children. Nothing, not a goddamn word.” I laugh out, bordering on hysterical. “Maybe they decided it was Xander’s turn for a baby. I’m such a good baby momma, my womb is for hire. Maybe I’ll offer my womb out to Gabe and Levi. Why not? A new band for Velvet smoke. Velvet Smoke 2.0.” And now I know I sound hysterical, because I am.
“So, Tommy, no more running for me. I’m going to that club, and if this plays out like I expect it to, we’ll be home by morning. In fact I would get a plane sorted if I were you, because they’re nothing if not predictable. It’s ridiculous.”
My anger has hit Himalayan heights. I may have been tapping out before, but now I’m Bruce Lee, preparing to face an army of villains. Kung Fu me up baby.
He stands looking at me, trying to calm me with his voice. “You need to speak to them, Evie. Why not call Marshall. I don’t think you should go out there and into the plans they have. You’re not thinking straight.” He’s trying any tactic to delay me, calm me down.
“I am. Oh boy, I am. Straight as a dye. But I’m the only one who is, and that’s the shame of it all. Let’s see if I get asked to partake in something at the sex club next door. Let’s see where we’re really at.” I see Tommy visibly gulp. “Let’s see if everything I’ve put up with is really enough for them. The abuse, the slating. Let’s see, shall we?”
I’ve gone from white hot rage to cold as ice. Like the images of a slo-mo camera catching the freezing process. I can feel it cementing my blood in my veins. Freezing out everything else.
“I don’t think you should go, Kiddo.” He’s still counselling caution. Probably remembering the last time I fled from a gaggle of vindictive women, and a bunch of liars. “Let’s get a cab home to Valentina. We can sort all this out rationally tomorrow.” He’s pleading with me now, hanging onto my elbows for grim death.
I look at him and offer what I know must be a chilling smile. “Not my style. It may have appeared that it is, for a little while at least, but no, I need to know. They’ve made me promises, let’s see if they keep them. Or at least one, because I’m sure the promises Marcus Russell made, he’ll manage to blow them all up.”
Tommy baulks at the names I’m calling them. I grin at him, feeling a bit unhinged. “Are you with me? I’m happy to go it alone. I don’t expect you to fall in line if you disagree with me.” I deliver my ultimatum.
He shakes his head. “You know I’ve got your back, always.”
I think he’s going to let me go, but he doesn’t. He clings tighter to my elbows, then pulls me into his large, comforting frame. “Evie.” His voice is urgent now. “You know in your heart they wouldn’t want you to be with anyone else. You know it. They’ve made that clear these past four months. They keep people away. I’ve heard them speaking to the other women, Texas, Gabe and Levi. It’s a bit extreme to be honest, the protection levels are off the scale. I think those women are deluded. Harking back to times gone by, behaviours that are well and truly in the past. Probably wishing it to be true rather than it being facts.”
I nod my head. He may very well be right on that, but again, the tears come. And there’s all the other issues beyond the sexcapades to still deal with.
I sweep the tears from my face. It’s a wonder they’re not icicles. I’m so angry, I can feel the rage bubbling in my veins. It’s the only thing pushing at the ice above.
His voice is soft but practical as he continues to try talking me down from the ledge. “You told me how you regretted running away over those other women in Vegas. Don’t let them be the reason you go. The paternity test, the vasectomy, those I get. But not those women.”
I start to hyperventilate, my breaths coming in pants. This is not good for me. I need to get out of here. “Tommy, I feel ill. I think I’m going to pass out.”
I feel myself go floppy in his arms. Roza pulls over her chair for me to sit on and a cold flannel is placed gently on the back of my neck, reviving me. She’s talking softly to me in Spanish, the words I can hardly make out, but it’s the most comforting sound.
“Let’s go home to Valentina,” Tommy repeats. We can sort this at home, Kiddo. Please.” I’ve never heard him so stressed.
I look into their concerned faces. I don’t think I can take much more.
“Go home to Val, Evie,” Roza encourages me. “I will ring her. She will be ready for you. We will look after you. You need Val. She loves you, she loves those boys. Go home, Evie.”
“Okay,” I murmur out. I can hardly stand, never mind go into full battle cry. I feel as if all the life has been drained out of me. Like there’s a big black hole starting at my heart and sucking the rest of my body into it, piece by piece, inch by inch, the whole lot drawn in, never to see light again. Never to feel love or joy again. There’s just nothing, infinite black. The blackness of betrayal, lies and deception.
Tommy squats down in front of me, looking into my pale face, my red rimmed eyes. “Do you want me to carry you?”
“Not through the club, no. We’ll attract attention.” I smile a bit at the thought of Tommy striding through the club with me in a honeymoon carry.
“You can leave through the back doors. Go left out of here, not right. The back doors are down the passage on the left,” Roza informs us. “Call a car around back, there’s parking spots there.”
Tommy nods and opens his phone, calling a car to be delivered to the back doors. We sit for a few more minutes, and when his phone pings, he straightens up and fixes his caring eyes on mine. “Right, Kiddo, are you ready?”
He pulls me gently up, holding me around the waist, supporting my weight. He looks like he’s dragging a dead body. We get to the other side of the doors and Tommy sweeps me up into the honeymoon carry. “We’re not going through the club, so no one to see us. I’ll let Mick know we’ve gone, say you're ill, when we’re on our way.” He grins down at me. “Tuck your head into my shoulder. Rest. We’re going home.”
“Tommy, what the fuck? Evie? What's wrong?” Kell skids to a halt in front of us, his hair wild, his eyes round in his face. “Are you ill? Do we need a doctor? Call a doctor, Tom.”
He reaches out, trying to take me from Tommy, but I push closer to the big man, tightening my hold. He knows I don’t want to go with Kell.
“She’s fainted. Too much tequila and probably not enough food. She forgets she’s feeding twins. I heard Valentina telling her off tonight,” Tommy lies smoothly.
“Let me get Xander and we’ll come home. Baby, you’re so pale.” He reaches up and smooths the hair from my drenched forehead. “Fuck, you’re green.” His face and voice are full of love and worry. If only he’d been that concerned about me when he tested my kids.
“I don’t want to wait. I’m taking her home, Kell.”
Kell looks a bit perplexed by Tommy clearly taking over and making demands.
“Stay here, Kell. It’s Xander’s birthday. I don’t want to spoil everyone's fun.” I’m trying to keep my voice from showing my anger. Trying to act like I care about that.
“There’s no fun without you,” Kell says softly. “He’ll want to come home with you. We don’t want to be without you.” His voice is like a warm, soft blanket, cocooning me.
I gulp as I think about what they’ve done, knowing if I’m going to survive this I need to keep my resolve intact. “Please, Kell. He’s been looking forward to this for weeks. People are waiting for you.” I’m desperate to get away. If he carries on, I’ll blurt everything out. And then I’ll have to listen to the explanations of their deceit.
“People? You mean Xander. There’s no people. Let us come with you. Tommy, are you taking her in the car?”
“Yes, it’s around back. We need to go. She feels hotter, and I want to get her home to Valentina.”
“Just let me get Xan and we’ll come.” He sounds determined, but I don’t want him with me. I don’t want any of them with me.
“Kell, please. I don’t feel well. Please let me go. Everyone will be waiting for you both to have a good time. Please.” His face twists into his ‘I don't give a shit look,’ but it softens when he looks at me again. I feel the tears start, and I hear the noise he makes in his throat. Pain. I know it well. My whole body is consumed by it.
“I’ll let you go now, but I’ll speak to Xander. If he doesn’t want to stay, we’ll let everyone know and come home. Get some rest baby. I’ll be there to cuddle you in the morning at the latest.”
“Look after Xander—” I start to gulp and think I’m going to throw up.
Tommy spins me away from him and starts to stride towards the back doors. “I’ll call when I’ve got her settled,” he shouts over his shoulder.
I can’t see Kell, but I don’t think he moves, as I don’t hear his footsteps on the concrete floor. “He’s still standing there,” Tommy tells me quietly as he opens the car door and lays me on the back seat. My stomach heaves again as I smell the garbage in the alleyway. I groan out as Tommy shuts the door and climbs into the driver seat. “Hang on Kiddo. We’re going home.”