Three to Fall (Saint View Slayers vs. Sinners #3)

19. Hayden

19

HAYDEN

I woke up the next morning with Kara in my bed, but when I rolled over to reach for her, I found there was a squirmy girl in between us, staring up at me with big eyes.

I squished her a little, pretending I hadn’t seen her. “This mattress is awfully lumpy!”

Kara and Hayley Jade both giggled.

“Hmm. And it makes noises!”

More laughter as I wriggled around, acting as if I was trying to be comfortable with her in the way. She tapped me on the chest, getting my attention.

I pretended to see her for the first time. “Where did you come from?!”

She just grinned and pointed at the wall in the direction of her room.

I kissed the top of her head. “But you thought my bed was better, huh?”

She shook her head.

“No? Didn’t have anything to do with me having a TV in here then?”

She shook her head once more.

“Was it maybe because your mommy was in here?”

Kara’s soft, sweet smile was like sunshine on a rainy day when Hayley Jade nodded yes.

Kara slipped her arms around her daughter, and both of us covered the little girl in kisses, while she squirmed to get away.

Eventually, she got bored and wandered out to the kitchen where someone was making a racket and would no doubt get her whatever she wanted for breakfast, even if that something was ice cream. She had everyone here wrapped around her finger, and I was no different.

Kara watched her go and sighed.

“You don’t have to come today, you know? Nobody would think any less of you if you stayed just to be her mom. We have Kyle to show us where to go once we get inside Ethereal Eden’s gate. There’s no pressure on you here at all.”

“I know. But I can’t stop thinking about Jacqueline. About what they might be doing to her. If you all go in there, guns blazing, she’s going to be terrified and fight you every step of the way. If I sit here, I’m just going to develop an ulcer. I need to come. I need to face it all. I can’t keep running and I need to be there for her. We need to end this once and for all.”

I nodded. I was no different than Hawk. I would have preferred her to stay here where I knew Fang and War and a couple of the other guys would stay behind to watch over everyone. Behind the Slayers’ gates felt like the safest option right now, not driving ourselves for hours, right into a situation that might be a one on the danger scale…

But was more likely going to be a ten.

I didn’t need to have met Josiah in person to know he wasn’t going to give up easily. He wasn’t going to let us just walk in there and bring back any woman who didn’t want to be there, which was Kara’s aim.

I was scared she was going to be bitterly disappointed. But if we got Jacqueline out, that was the main thing.

Even if Josiah wasn’t doing anything else, taking photos of her like that, using them to attract the sick fucks who liked that sort of thing, meant she was in grave danger of so much worse.

That couldn’t be ignored. Not even for another day. We were leaving and not coming back without her.

Thirty minutes later, Kara hugged Queenie and Hayley Jade goodbye. Queenie left to take Hayley Jade to school, Hawk already having drilled Queenie on all the security procedures that needed to be followed for him to feel like Hayley Jade was safe away from him. I waved at the kid until her face disappeared from view. My heart was torn in two, half of it here with her, the other half beating for her mother who needed me more, at least for today.

The quicker we left, the quicker we could get home. “Let’s get this show on the road. We’ve got a very long day of driving, and probably an even longer night ahead of us once we get there. We all good?”

Everyone nodded. Ice and Aloha went to their bikes. Grayson’s murder squad had brought a van that the five of them piled into. Scythe or Vincent, I had no idea which, drove a black Jeep with Kyle riding shotgun.

Hawk, Grayson, Kara, and I had decided to take the Slayers’ club van, since it had enough seats to bring home Jacqueline plus anyone else we could get out.

We all rolled out of the Slayers’ compound in a single file of vehicles, with a heavy somberness in the air that was reminiscent of going to war.

That’s exactly what it felt like, right down to the guns in the black duffel bag at Hawk’s feet, that I didn’t want to use, but knew we’d probably have to.

I took the first driving shift, but it was a quiet one, all four of us lost to our thoughts. I rested my hand on Kara’s leg beside me, rubbing it while she stared out the window. Hawk slept in the back, and the click-clack of Grayson’s laptop keyboard could be heard above the soft music playing through the speakers.

“What if we can’t get her out?” Kara asked quietly.

“We will.”

“She might not come willingly, even with me there. I think she wanted to come when we left the first time, but if Samantha and Naomi have been in her ear, telling them what a wicked woman I am for leaving, and how my sins will rub off on Jacqueline if she associates with me, then she might be too scared. She’s just a kid.”

“We can’t leave her there. She’s being abused.”

“I know. No matter what happens, what she says or does, you have to promise me we’re bringing her home.”

I glanced over at her to find her staring at me. There was nothing else for me to say. “I promise.”

We stopped a couple of times for food and bathroom breaks, but the entire day was more of the same. Filling up the van while Vincent and Whip quizzed Kyle on every detail of the compound. Hawk and Ice checking the guns, making sure everything was loaded and ready to go if we needed them. Kara scratched at her arms absentmindedly, the way she had the tendency to do when she was stressed, until I walked her into the gas station and started putting all her favorite snacks in a basket.

“I can see what you’re doing.” She tugged at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. “Stress eating isn’t a productive way to pass time either.”

I grinned at her. “Who says any of this is for you?”

A little smile crossed her lips. “You’re cute. You don’t even like Doritos.”

“But you do. You’re going to rip a hole in your arm if you keep scratching it like that. Eat the chips, Kara. Or do sudoku. Or scroll your phone. I don’t care. But I’m also buying duct tape and will tie your hands behind your back if I have to.”

She laughed. “So everyone we pass on the highway reports you as a kidnapper?”

“I’ll just explain to the cops that after you rejected all my other offers, it was tie you up or park on the side of the road and distract you by making you come. Somehow, what with the indecent exposure laws, I think they would choose tying you up too.”

She plucked the bag of chips from my hand and then pulled a scarf from a rack that also held ladies’ sunglasses and hats. She waved it in my face so the material skated across my cheek. “I prefer something soft and silky when I’m being tied up, thank you.” She winked and went to put the scarf back.

I plucked it from her fingers. “I’ll take that then.”

She stopped. “I was joking.”

I put my lips to her ear and kissed the spot just below it. “I don’t think you were. I’m buying this. And after all of this is over, I’m going to buy at least three more and tie you to the first bed I can get you on.”

Despite her protests, there was a quickening of her breath. “I shouldn’t find you this attractive in the middle of a run-down gas station.”

And I shouldn’t have been thinking about sitting her up on the counter, spreading her thick thighs, and sinking my cock into the warm, wet heat in between. But I was.

The tension between us rose thick in the air, despite the setting. It was the same gut-wrenching pull I always felt when she was around. An attraction I could never explain with words because I was sure no one had ever felt so strongly about another person.

A horn honking from out by the pumps caught my attention, and Grayson waved us over from the driver’s seat, clearly anxious to get moving.

The moment shattered. I put my arm around her neck and hauled her in tight. “I’m down for sharing you, you know I am. But did you have to pick a doctor who clearly likes to run on a schedule?”

Kara smiled gently, staring out at Grayson who had methodically checked the tire pressure, fuel levels, and windshield wiper fluid at each stop. He’d mapped out the route we were taking with notes that had been emailed to all of us the night before.

Not that half the guys had bothered to read it. Grayson stuck out amongst the rest of us like a sore thumb, and we all knew it.

Despite that, I liked the guy. He’d saved Kara’s life, and that had earned him my respect.

But it was the way Kara looked at him that had really cemented his place here. The way she laughed at his stupid jokes and balloon animals. The way her gaze lingered on him instead of her textbooks when they were studying. The way she might not have been willing to admit to herself she was in love with him, but she lit up every time those words fell from his lips.

I opened the passenger door for her, and she got herself up into the van, Grayson leaning over the center console to kiss her.

I got in the back with Hawk who was sprawled out across the back bench seat. I debated taking the row in front of him, but then he moved his leg, making room for me, and so I took up the seat at the opposite end of his bench, leaving one free in the middle of us so we both had a bit of space.

Grayson started the van and turned up the music, singing along with the radio. He was in an oddly good mood that I suspected was fake and an attempt to lighten the vibe that had been darkening with every mile we passed.

Kara joined in, and Hawk nodded at them approvingly but kept his voice low enough only for me to hear. “He’s keeping her distracted. That’s good.”

I wholeheartedly agreed. “Whatever keeps her from scratching her arms raw.”

“You like the guy?” he asked after we’d both watched them for a while longer.

“Are you asking if I like him as a friend or if I like him for Kara?”

He shrugged.

He didn’t need to answer. All Hawk ever did was consider what was good for Kara and Hayley Jade. He stared at Grayson and Kara singing along in the front seat, happy smiles on their faces, and being silly in a way I couldn’t imagine her being with either me or Hawk. We weren’t built like that. Maybe we’d seen too much to ever be that carefree or maybe we just weren’t wired that way.

But there was no doubt in my mind that Grayson gave Kara something Hawk and I couldn’t. That was why her being with the three of us worked. Each of us providing something different to her, not one of us trying to fulfill her every need and failing because it was impossible for anyone to be everything.

We all needed a village. I’d spent my whole life searching for that. My mom had been amazing, but my brother had been ripped from my life when I was a kid and my father had never been around. I’d joined gangs, looking for that sense of community my mom, great as she was, hadn’t been able to give me alone.

I’d finally found it here, with Kara and Hawk, and I wasn’t arrogant enough to think we were all she needed. She needed Grayson too. Hawk and I were too intense. Gray was the one who made her laugh.

I nudged Hawk with my knee. “He’s about to walk into a war with us with about as much experience in this sort of thing as a chipmunk.”

“He’s a weak link.”

I stared at the way he kept looking at Kara, sneaking little glances of pure adoration from the driver’s seat in between watching the road and checking his map. The side of his neck still held the faint tinge of purple from the bruises he’d developed after being strangled half to death. I shook my head. “He’s not. He might not have spent half his life running with gangs, but he’s willing to die for her, just the same as we are. That makes him just as deadly, even if he doesn’t have as much experience with a gun.”

Grayson had proved himself once. I wasn’t going to make him keep doing it over and over, and I really hoped Hawk wasn’t either. That was the sort of thing that would distract us and tear us apart. The exact opposite of the united front we needed to be right now.

To my relief, Hawk settled back against the seat and blew out a long breath. But his shoulders were stiff, and we had hours more on the road. His agitation was contagious, practically palpable in the air. I could feel it seeping through my clothes, sinking into my skin, infecting me as much as it was him.

I didn’t want Kara sensing it. Didn’t want her to think we were anything but one-hundred-percent confident about how this was going down.

Hawk needed to chill the fuck out and get out of his head.

I reached over and undid the button on his jeans.

He glanced at me warily and then watched me lower the zipper on his fly. “Seriously?”

“You gonna stop me?”

Hawk sniggered and lifted his hips, tugging down his jeans. “Not for a fucking second.”

Smug prick. But I liked he wasn’t protesting. The windows in the back had a darker tint than the ones in the front. Not completely impenetrable by any means, but they did give off an illusion of privacy from prying eyes on the road outside.

They’d do nothing to stop Grayson and Kara getting a free peep show, but the thought of Kara watching me blow Hawk only made me hotter. I took out his cock and stroked him until he was hard, and then I leaned over and put my mouth around him.

His hands fell instantly to the back of my head. Not the light scratching Kara was fond of when my head was between her thighs. Hawk’s touch was much less thoughtful, all grabby fingers fisting in my hair, his hands trying to control me.

I pulled off and gave him a look.

He laughed and put his hands up. “Fine. Fine. Sorry! Carry on!”

I lowered my mouth over him again, sucking on his knob.

More of the same from Hawk. Him being an arrogant prick and thinking this was his show.

I glared at him again. “You good trying to control everything all of the time?”

“You love it.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong, but this also wasn’t the relationship I wanted with him. I wasn’t going to be his bitch. Take his cock whenever he wanted me to.

This was a two-way fucking street, and Hawk needed to learn that. I had every intention of fucking him. Couldn’t wait to feel my cock sink inside his tight virgin ass. But we were never going to get there if Hawk didn’t let go of his need to be in charge.

That was part of the reason he was so stressed out right now. Because the situation we were about to walk into was unknown. And he had little control over the outcome.

Not that he’d ever admit that. I saw through his bullshit, cocky exterior. I knew he was stressed and scared, and I was just trying to help him. If he wanted to be a dick about it, he could go fuck himself. He was such a bastard.

I was done playing games. “Nah, fuck you. You want to be in control? You can fuck your hand.” I shifted back to my side, and slunk down in my seat, tugging a baseball cap low over my eyes.

He could take care of his stress by himself. I didn’t fucking care if he worried and stressed himself into an early grave.

Except the thought of him dying had me sick to my stomach. Especially because there was a very real chance of bullets flying when we stormed Ethereal Eden.

I didn’t want to lose him.

Not that I was going to tell him that. Cocky bastard wouldn’t ever let me live it down if I did.

Hawk snorted. “You fucking mad at me?”

Mad he was still playing stupid games and couldn’t just let me in for one fucking minute. Yeah.

He slid across the bench a few inches. “Chaos.”

He was pretty much the only person who still called me that. On his lips, I liked it. But sometimes it felt surface level. Like a way of him holding me at arm’s length and not admitting I was a real fucking person beneath the persona. The same way it felt when he acted like I was just a place to stick his dick, even though I was sure this thing between us was more than that. “You know that hasn’t been my name for a long fucking time.”

He paused. “It’s habit.”

“Whatever.”

“Hayden.”

I still didn’t look up. Didn’t have the energy to do this with him right now, while I was battling the realization he’d become someone who mattered to me. Someone I cared about. Someone I might have even loved if he wasn’t such a dickhead all the damn time.

I needed a minute to process the feelings potentially losing him tonight was stirring up inside me. I couldn’t do that with him yammering in my ear.

His fingers flicked the button on my jeans. Drew down my fly.

I didn’t stop him.

He didn’t talk.

I lifted my hips but didn’t raise my head. Didn’t look at him. Was too fucking scared by the sudden swell of feeling inside me. If I looked him in the eye, I might blurt out something dumb.

Like I loved him.

Fucking hell.

Of all the times and places to have a realization about that. This was not it.

I let his mouth wrapping around my cock clear my head. Or maybe it just fuzzed all thoughts right out of existence. I didn’t know. Didn’t care. But it was better than concentrating on the fact I was just as in love with him as I was with Kara.

Falling for the most emotionally unavailable, still probably a little bit homophobic man on the face of the planet. So fucking fabulous.

But his mouth felt good. There was no denying that. He sucked me slowly, getting me hard, pumping my shaft with his hand and licking my knob while the van vibrations only added to the sensation in the most pleasurable sort of way.

I lifted my hat so I could watch him but kept my hands to myself to prove a point. That I could let him have control. So why couldn’t he?

In the mirror on the back of the passenger seat sun visor, my gaze caught with Kara’s. A slow smile spread across my lips, liking the way her eyes smoldered with heat, unable to look away from what Hawk and I were doing.

Her shoulders rose and fell too fast, telling me she was breathing too quickly, and the pink creeping up the back of her neck told me this was getting her hot.

I loved she liked watching him and me together.

It only made me wish she was back here with us so I could have my fingers between her thighs, pushing deep inside her pussy and finger-fucking her until she was just as wet as Hawk’s mouth was right now.

But I could have the next best thing. “Lift your skirt, Kara.”

Grayson glanced over his shoulder at me, gaze dipping to what Hawk was doing, and then went back to our woman.

She was still watching me in the mirror. But she shifted on her seat, pulling her long skirt up so it settled high on her thighs like a mini skirt.

“Put your hand inside your panties. I want to know if you’re wet.”

Forever willing to please, she shifted on the seat, and her sharp gasp said she’d done exactly what I’d instructed.

“Concentrate on the road. Concentrate on the road,” Grayson muttered, earning himself a snigger from Hawk, despite having my cock deep in his mouth.

Kara’s tiny moans from the front seat told me she was fingering herself, and fuck if that didn’t have me thrusting up into Hawk’s mouth faster and harder than I ever had before.

To my surprise, he took every inch, until I was practically gagging him with my cock, and still he didn’t move or complain. If anything, he worked harder, driving me closer to an orgasm I wasn’t even sure I wanted to reach because once I did, it would be over and that felt criminal.

But I wanted to watch Kara come. Wanted to hear her moan. Loved the idea the cars whizzing by outside had no idea what we were doing in here. That somehow made it all the dirtier.

“Angle the mirror so I can see your pussy, Kara. Lay your seat back. Put your heels up on the seat and spread those knees so I can watch you fingering yourself.”

I groaned when she did exactly that, laying her seat down so she was out of view of other cars, though the height of the van helped hide her anyway.

It was still a dangerous game to play. If a truck passed us and the driver happened to glance down, they’d see every inch of her beautiful body.

Kara’s moan of pleasure made it all worthwhile.

Grayson jerked the steering wheel, making a hard right off the highway onto some sort of access road that felt like it had been paved a century ago, judging by the way the van suddenly jolted and shook as we bounced along.

The walkie-talkie Hawk had brought along crackled to life, Grayson’s murder squad and Scythe questioning where the fuck we were going.

Grayson picked it up and half groaned into the receiver. “We need a minute. Or thirty. Do not follow us.”

There was a pause, and then Scythe’s sarcastic attitude came over the line. “Be safe now, kids. Or, I guess, don’t bother? You can’t knock her up twice.”

We all ignored him. We’d catch up with the convoy at the next pit stop. Right now, the stress levels were too high, and we all needed a little relief so we could be fully focused when we got there. A few more hours of driving, and there’d be no time for this. No room for the connection we were all desperately seeking.

Grayson had us down some sort of country road in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere, nothing but fields, trees, and cows as far as the eye could see. There wasn’t even a farmhouse in the distance, and we left the noise of the highway behind, bumping along the dirt road until Grayson parked beneath the shade of some trees and turned off the engine.

Hawk hadn’t stopped tonguing the ridges of my cock, and I groaned, partially because he was so damn good at it, and partially from the view of Kara laid out on the passenger seat, her pussy wet and gleaming in the mirror, her sweet fingers rubbing her clit and disappearing inside her body so damn intoxicating I couldn’t turn away from it.

I needed to come. Groaned and dragged Hawk’s head away so I wouldn’t choke him, but he shoved me back, taking me like a pro and sucking me until I couldn’t fucking see straight.

My balls drew up, my orgasm imminent. At the last moment he pulled his mouth away, jerking my cock until I sprayed all over his fist.

My head dropped back on the seat, pleasure swimming through my blood in the most relaxing way that had me forgetting all about the danger Kara was about to be in. I didn’t think about it. Just let my brain fizz out, enjoying each stroke of Hawk’s hand until my dick couldn’t take it anymore and I pushed him away gently.

He caught my gaze, and then slowly he coated his cock in my cum, using it to jerk himself off.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” I couldn’t stop staring at him, the tight grip of one hand on his balls, squeezing himself while the other covered him in my cum.

My dick was so done, sucked so good. But it didn’t make the need for him any less.

When he leaned in to kiss me, I devoured him, dragging him in tight and then down on top of me. His heavy weight between my legs had me panting with need, his bare cock rubbing on mine. I needed more than a thirty-second recovery though, so I shifted until his cock rubbed lower, pressing to my ass.

His lips trailed off mine, his stubble scraping across my chin and cheek until he got to my ear. “Hayden…”

We froze.

I squinted.

Both stared at each other.

I’d thought I’d wanted him to say my name, and yet when he did…I realized how badly it just didn’t fit.

He huffed out a breath. “That was so fucking unsexy.”

“It really was. Felt like you were my schoolteacher or something.”

“Oh, fuck off. You’re the one who wanted me to be all romantic and use your actual name. It’s not my fault Hayden is about as attractive as a cold shower. Can we go back to fucking now?” He kissed me, and nudged my ass with the slicked-up head of his cock.

I groaned loudly, twisting my head to the side so I could watch Grayson lay his seat right back. Kara climbed over the center console, straddling him and sinking herself down onto his cock.

“Need to see your tits, Kara,” I groaned, eyes on her while Hawk filled me so deeply I was sure I would be feeling it for days in all the best ways. He fucked me slow, giving me time to adjust to his body, while kissing my neck and chest, tugging my shirt off so he could lick my nipples while he rode out his pleasure on my body.

Grayson lifted her top, and Kara pulled it off the rest of the way. Her hips rocked sensuously over his lap, her legs digging into the seat belt and the driver’s side armrest, but if it was painful, she didn’t seem to care. She had her head tipped back, riding him like the fucking goddess she was, all tits and belly and thighs I couldn’t get enough of.

Grayson lowered her bra straps and flipped the cups down, exposing her pink nipples, just fucking begging for his mouth.

She beat him to it, though, cupping her breasts, pinching herself between her forefinger and thumb, owning her pleasure.

My dick got hard watching her. Hawk balanced himself with one arm on the back of the seats so he could use the other to stroke my cock into another erection, even though I’d barely recovered from the first.

The combination of the show Kara was putting on, and him deep inside my body was so good, it was lucky I’d already come once, or I probably would have embarrassed myself.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Hawk groaned, strangling my dick with his fist. “Feels just like this.”

He squeezed my cock tight, relaxed, then did it again, jerking me off in a way that was almost as good as Kara’s pussy clamping around me.

He thrust in and out, his big body awkward in the small space, but at least we had more room than a car and neither of us seemed willing to stop and take it outside, even if there was no one around for miles.

He groaned, his movements getting erratic, his eyes closing, and fucking me faster, harder, until we were both ready to lose it. I moved his hand away from my cock, not wanting to come again, needing to save that until I could get my hands on Kara.

Her cries of pleasure as she came from riding Grayson’s cock echoed around the van. It rocked a little, Grayson coming hard too, burying his face in her tits and sucking her nipple into his mouth.

Hawk fell over the edge a moment later, buried deep inside me. He came with a moan and the noise went straight to my dick.

He pulled out, staring down at me, his breath ragged. His lips found mine, and he kissed me deeply, our tongues in sync.

I throbbed everywhere, could still feel him inside me even though he wasn’t. Precum leaked from my tip, and I shifted out from beneath Hawk and leaned forward to lift Kara’s chin from where she rested on Grayson’s chest. The two of them were a mess of half-discarded clothes and glistening skin, her cheeks flushed pink. “Need you.”

“Need you too,” she whispered.

I didn’t give a fuck it was broad daylight outside. I yanked my pants up only enough I wouldn’t trip over them and slid open the back door. Made my way to the driver’s side and opened Grayson’s door.

Kara was waiting for me, her eyes still hot with need, even though she’d already come once.

She lifted off Grayson, leaving him blissed out on the laid-back seat while I helped her out of the van.

That was as long as I could wait to have her. I crowded her up against the side, put one hand beneath her knee and raised it up, hooking it around the backs of my thighs and opening her up for me to slide right into.

I didn’t give a fuck Grayson’s cum coated the inside of her thighs and dripped from her pussy. It only made me want her more. I wanted to remind her body she had more than one man who needed to claim her as often as she would allow.

I plunged deep inside her slick slit, filling her, fucking her hard so my pubic bone ground against her clit, giving her the friction she’d need to come all over again.

I gazed down at her sweet face, the big eyes that stared up at me full of love and desire and a connection I couldn’t get enough of. What I felt for her was so different than what I felt for Hawk, even though I loved them both.

If I’d said it out loud, Hawk would have made fun of me for a lifetime. But when I was inside her, when her eyes were locked with mine, I knew this was where I was supposed to be.

That she was mine and for the past five years, I’d been walking around, missing half my goddamn soul.

Something changed between us. The attraction and need becoming something more, my heart racing every time I thought about the fact anything could happen tonight when we got to Ethereal Eden. The thought left me in a cold sweat.

“I love you,” she whispered, a slight tremble in her voice. “Promise me we’re all coming home when this is done. Not just me and Jacqueline. You and Hawk and Grayson too.”

I looked away, focusing on the way my cock slid in and out of her body, distracting her by rubbing her clit and pinching her nipples.

I couldn’t promise her tomorrow when I knew all too well how quickly it could be ripped away.