Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)
11. Alex
21%
CHAPTER 11
Alex
The rest of the day goes by quickly as we start to put our plan into action. I am scheduling meetings with the other editors on staff when my phone buzzes with a text message. I glance over and see Banks’s name light up my screen.
Banks and I met on the first day of classes freshman year. We were both in English with Mrs. Thurr, and I was nervous and painfully awkward. He took pity on me when we were asked to pair up and share one fun fact about ourselves. I always hated icebreaker activities, but Banks was kind and didn’t make me feel out of place.
A few weeks into the school year, I spotted his worn copy of Catching Fire sticking out of his backpack and that solidified the friendship. He followed me to Wisconsin for college and got his bachelors in education. Now, he teaches English at the same school we met at years ago.
After we graduated college, I really struggled with the decision of whether or not to go back home and be around for my mom or move to New York. I knew I could easily work for a small local paper in Texas and live with my mom and be fine, but Banks knew I wanted more for myself. He had planned to move back to be close to his family, they were all a tight knit bunch, so he told me to go and that he’d look after my mom in my absence.
About a year after he got started teaching, someone showed up at his doorstep with a kid.
Apparently a one night stand can change the course of your life. Now, little Hallie is one of my mom’s favorite people and I know she loves it every time he brings her over.
It lifts a huge weight off of my shoulders to have him there. He has a great family, certainly a more traditional one than I had, but I think he needed a quiet place to land and somewhere to escape to when it got too loud at his house. My mom and I were able to provide that for him. He spent a lot of afternoons and evenings with us throughout high school, and I was grateful to have him around.
We would come home after a long day of learning to peanut butter and honey sandwiches on the counter and cookies in the oven. We’d sit and talk about books or play video games and after a while he just became a permanent fixture in both of our lives.
I know my mom appreciates having him around now. They always got along really well.
Banks
Check this out
He follows the text with a link to a press release about the new Hunger Games prequel coming out in a few days. Even now, our love for the series lives on.
Me
That is going to be so sick. Do you think women all over the world will fall in love with President Snow even though he’s the worst?
Banks
Obviously. The guy they casted is way too dreamy.
Me
I’m going to save that text for future blackmail.
Banks
I’m just speaking the truth.
Me
Lol. You got time for a quick phone call after I get off?
Banks
Sure. I need to grade some papers before I pick up Hal. We can talk while I do that.
Banks doesn’t date much, I’m sure it has something to do with having a kid and everything, but he gives solid advice. Of all of the people in my life, he’s the most level headed.
I need to know how to move forward with Alana without ruining our friendship. I have to proceed with caution, because not only would living in an apartment with her be awkward if it didn’t work, but I would lose her. Add to that, the fact that she has zero trust in men or people in general and I’ve got my work cut out for me.
I open the email app on my laptop and send an email to Lucy, Heather’s personal assistant, asking for a quick half hour meeting. I want to discuss some of the concerns that Alana mentioned to me today. I think if Heather knew the severity of her anxiety, she would do what she can to help eliminate that barrier.
Lucy sends an email right back.
From: [email protected]
Subject : Re: Meeting with Heather
Alex,
Thank you for your email. Heather has the next half hour open before her meeting with marketing. If you’d like to pop in and have a chat, she said that would be alright.
Have a great day,
Lucy Albright
Administrative Assistant
Impress Magazine
I stand and push in my chair, glancing over at Alana as she works with another editor on one of the spreads we pitched to Ian and Heather. She looks so beautiful and I long to walk over and wrap my arms around her. The side profile of her face showcases her wavy chestnut hair and the curve of her top lip. The urge to walk the few steps to her desk and pull her mouth to mine is almost too strong to resist.
I realize I have an audience when Cami clears her throat as she approaches. I rip my gaze from Alana and meet Cami’s eyes as she moves past me and winks.
Great .
I knock twice on Heather’s door before I make my way inside and sit down in one of the two leather chairs in front of her desk. She holds up a finger as she finishes a conversation on the phone, quickly telling them she will have to continue this conversation at a later time.
“I’m sorry, some designers really do just think everyone runs on their time.” She takes a sip of her honey latte and faces me. “How can I help you?”
“It’s in regards to the trip we’re taking. I’m afraid I have a bit of flying anxiety and I was wondering if Impress might be able to do something to help alleviate that.” I hold my breath. Heather isn’t a dictator by any means, but she is intimidating. Initially, I thought I might tell Heather about what Alana was experiencing, but the more I thought about it the more it didn’t sit right with me to share that personal information with someone and not run it by her first.
Knowing she struggles with trusting, I felt like that might be taking it a step too far. Instead, I figured I could fall on the sword this time and blame it on myself. I know Alana would never ask for this for herself.
“What do you think we could do to help?”
I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Well…” Now that I’m actually having this conversation I’m realizing I didn’t think through how to discuss this without just demanding a seat change. “I tend to get pretty claustrophobic on planes.”
The fact that I'm outright lying to her does bother me some, but if it helps Alana I’m willing to do it.
“Do you think a seat with more room would help?” Heather asks.
“I think that would be great. Maybe something in the exit row?”
“We’ll upgrade your seats to first class,” she says.
I hesitate, surprised by her words and unsure how to respond other than to immediately decline the offer. I know first class would definitely help, but it feels like too much to accept.
“First class is too much,” I say.
“Nonsense. Is there anything else?”
“Um, no I guess not.”
“Good, I have a meeting. Have a good day.”
I stand in a daze and stand there awkwardly for a second before I remember I’m supposed to be leaving.
“You too. Thank you.”
Well, that was easy.
I step out onto the icy sidewalk and slip my headphones out of their case and into my ears. Banks and I talked on my walk home every day when I first moved away, but we’ve since fallen out of the habit and it’s been harder now that he has Hallie. It helps curb the feeling of loneliness that threatens to consume me sometimes, especially at first. Since we went to the same college, I never really felt alone until I moved to New York and he went back to Texas.
My apartment is only a few blocks and a subway ride away so I usually have about twenty minutes of uninterrupted time while I commute. I tap his name on my phone and wait for him to pick up.
“Hey, man,” he says in greeting. He automatically switches our phone call to a FaceTime, something he does every time we talk. I accept and his face fills the screen. “Nice of you to actually call me. With the amount of time between conversations I could be dead in a ditch somewhere and you would have no clue.”
“That’s not true,” I tease. “I would notice the decline in TikTok messages in my inbox.”
“Get off my back, that’s my decompressing time. Plus, you know you love them.”
“Yeah, I sort of do,” I say with a smirk. “How are things going there?”
“Not bad. Hallie is crushing first grade and taking names. She signed up for the holiday musical this year, so naturally I can’t get “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” out of my head.”
“Well, the legend did say he would go down in history.”
“They weren’t wrong. I’ve been thinking about bringing Hal up there sometime in early December to see the snow.”
And that was all it took for me to remember the reason behind the phone call.
“Actually I don’t think that will work. That’s what I want to talk to you about,” I tell him.
“Oh, so you didn’t just call to hear my voice. You’re here so I can fix your problems?”
“I am. You can bill me for the therapy session.”
“You know I’m on call for you any time. What’s going on?”
“It’s about Alana.”
“You mean the girl you’ve been obsessed with for the last year?” he asks with a roll of his eyes.
I’ve been gushing to Banks for months now about Alana and how great I think she is. I didn’t realize I had been doing it as often as I had until he told me he had been keeping count of how many times I mentioned her name or brought her up.
Fifteen times in a month, apparently, but that’s besides the point.
“We’re going to Paris,” I say, jumping straight to the point.
“Wait. Paris, France?”
“No. Paris, Texas,” I deadpan.
He gives me an exasperated look through the iPhone lens and I continue.
“Heather and Ian scheduled a meeting with us this week and told us they want us to go there to help the European branch of the magazine. Apparently they think we’re the top two editors, which I wouldn’t argue with, and they wanted to give us the opportunity.”
“That’s insane. Ian is the guy above you right? Didn’t you say he was leaving? Maybe they’re putting you two to the test to see who to promote.”
I was worried about that. It’s not that I wouldn’t be honored to receive a promotion, it would be a great move for me, but I really love my job as it is right now. I’m not sure I want the added responsibility.
“They haven’t said anything like that, but I suspect that could be what they’re doing.”
“Okay, so the company is paying you to take a European vacation. What’s the problem?”
“Well, it’s just Alana and I going. We’re going to be staying in an apartment together.”
I’m met with silence and blank stares. He’s so still, I think I might have lost connection, but after a few seconds I see him blink.
“You have to make a move.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Are you kidding me? You’ve been pining after this woman for a whole year and she has no idea. You’re telling me you are going to keep her at arms length even when you’re living in the same apartment? Come on man. Stop being scared.”
This is why Banks is my best friend. He tells it exactly how it is and calls me out on my stuff.
“I don’t want to mess up our friendship or make it awkward if she rejects me.”
“It’s not just that.”
“What do you mean?”
His silence has me bracing for his next words and I know he’s about to say something I don’t want to hear. “Do you think…” He looks away from the screen.
“Just say it.”
“Do you think it has something to do with your dad?”
“No.”
He looks annoyed by my immediate shut down, but not surprised. We’ve been down this road before and it never goes well for him. I don’t want to talk about my dad.
The only memories I have of my mom and dad together are ones involving screaming fights and slinging insults. Keeping the peace in my house was a constant battle and one I fought with everything I had. Anything I could do to keep my dad level headed and my mom happy, I would do.
My mom asked my dad to do the dishes after dinner, but she went to bed and he just sat on the couch? You’d find me at the sink.
My dad forgot to get my mom flowers and cards on Valentine’s Day? I’d be using my allowance and signing his name.
Mom noticed there were a few hundred dollars missing? I’d be sure not to ask for a single thing that cost money.
Dad saw Mom talking to a man in the store? I’d distract him by pulling him towards the baseball cards and asking questions.
Neither of them were bad parents on their own, but together they were a tornado of chaotic emotions. All I could do was take shelter as best I could and pray I came out unscathed. I had, mostly, but I’ve allowed my dad’s inability to be a present husband and father speak into my own beliefs about my ability in these areas.
“Okay, sure bud. If you’re going to pretend like that isn’t the reason you haven’t let yourself work towards a relationship with Alana then I’ll pretend with you. But eventually you’re going to need to man up and face it.”
“I really am worried I’m going to ruin our friendship,” I say, trying to bring us back on track and further ignore his insightful words.
“Well, you can’t just jump right in. You’ll have to warm her up and slowly move yourself out of the friend zone. It’s a delicate mission, but it can be accomplished. The guys in my first period have assured me.”
I breathe a sigh of relief at his willingness to let it go and keep moving, even though I know there is some truth to his words.
“Do you mean the fifteen-year-old students in your class? Why are they talking to you about the friend zone?”
“You’d be surprised by the topics they choose for discussion.”
I shudder thinking about spending my time around teenagers all day. Teachers are some of the bravest souls.
“So how do I move out of the friend zone?” I ask.
“You have to ease her into it. Innocent touches, excuses to be close to her, take note of the things she likes. You’re already doing a lot of it, but you just have to kick it up a notch.”
We spend the rest of my walk home talking about Alana and ideas for how to hint to her that I want more than our casual friendship. I mention my suspicions of her anxiety, but I don’t tell him about the panic attack. That isn’t my information to share.
“You’re a good guy, Alex,” he says as I step through the front door. “You went through a lot with your mom and her anxiety when you were younger and I know it wasn’t easy on you. She tells me often how thankful she was to have you by her side. I don’t have to talk to Alana to know she feels the same, she just might not realize it yet.”
I set the phone down, propping it up against the backsplash so he can see me, and we continue catching up as I make dinner. I feel lighter now that I have a plan to slowly ease Alana into the idea of us , and after the conversation with Heather I think things are going to get off to an okay start.