Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

39. Alana

CHAPTER 39

Alana

This has been the craziest weekend.

Friday I fainted and Alex put me in his bed and took care of me. Saturday I spent all day there, cuddled up next to him. Now, here we are on Sunday standing in our new flat for the next couple weeks.

Our new flat with an incredible view of the Eiffel Tower.

And only one bed.

That shouldn’t seem like an issue, considering Alex and I just slept in his bed together, but that was different. I was sick and there was no possibility of anyone making any moves. I was simply there so he could keep an eye on me. Nothing romantic in the slightest. Plus he sent me back to my bedroom on Saturday night, so it was very clear that the purpose was nothing more than safety.

Now? I’ve decided I’m going to face my fears and tell him I’m ready, if that’s still something he wants, and if what he’s been saying the last few days is still true then I’m sure this one bed is just as tempting to him as it is to me. My original plan was to wait until we got back from our trip, but I don’t think that’s very realistic if I’m being honest.

Neither of us have said anything, we’re both just kind of staring at it. There was a small entryway that led us into the living room. There is one couch and a television in the corner, a fireplace off to the side. The kitchen is just on the other side of this main room, no walls separating it from the living room, and there’s a window in the kitchen that boasts a gorgeous Eiffel Tower view. I move to check it out and open the window to find a small ledge, just big enough to sit on, and a railing for safety. This window and view is straight out of a movie.

Right off of the main kitchen and living room is the bedroom. I glance over at Alex and notice his eyes have stopped there. It’s beautiful, really. The king sized bed is pushed up against the wall on the right and has at least six pillows on it. The cream colored comforter looks like a cloud. A blue velvet bench sits at the foot of the bed, reminding me of the couches in our last flat.

This one is much, much smaller, but I appreciate the coziness of it. It feels warm and homey inside, while still being elegant and upscale like the rest of the building. The walls are a tan color with that same gold trim around the ceiling and floor, and there’s beautiful artwork on the walls.

There’s a window in this room too, just like the one in the kitchen. I’m dreaming of laying in this bed, maybe wrapped up in my roommate, and gazing out the window at the glittering tower. It sort of feels like a dream and although the close quarters is stressing me out a little bit, I can’t help but thank whoever decided to drill into a pipe this morning.

I feel his warmth behind me before his hands come up and touch my shoulders. He squeezes down my arms once, twice, three times and then lightly takes a hold of my hands.

“It really is so beautiful,” I say quietly, still gazing out the window.

“You really are,” he says into my ear. He presses a kiss on my temple and turns away. “I’ll take the couch, you take the bed.”

I roll my eyes even though he can’t see them. Ever the gentleman.

“Don’t be silly, we can share. We just shared your bed on Friday night,” I say, following him into the living room and sitting down next to him on the small couch.

“I don’t know if I can be trusted to sleep in a bed with you again and not touch you.”

I’m staring at him and I can feel the blush on my cheeks. I can’t figure out how to articulate what’s happening in my brain, but as always Alex understands anyways.

“I know you probably don’t believe me, but you should.” He lets out a laugh that sounds almost frustrated and runs his hand through his hair. “Come on, let’s go get dinner and we can handle this when we get back.”

We have dinner at a nearby restaurant that doesn’t require any driving, both too exhausted to venture out to find somewhere in the city, and head back up to our flat. I am desperate to put on my pajamas and climb into the cold sheets on that gorgeous bed.

When we walk in, I notice our Christmas tree immediately. It has magically appeared in the living room of our new flat and I stand frozen to the spot, staring at it.

“How did you get that here? It looks perfect.”

“Asked the maintenance guys to bring it over instead of tossing it.”

My eyes sting and I squeeze them shut, willing my happy tears away. I don’t want to cry right now. I was so sad when I realized we wouldn’t have a tree on Christmas morning because of this stupid maintenance situation, so seeing it here makes me feel all the things.

I turn, wrap my arms around his middle and squeeze. He’s surprised for a moment, but quickly eases into the embrace and rests his chin atop my head. After a few seconds we separate and I move on to another topic, one I thought about all through dinner.

“Am I going to have to fight you on the bed, Ashford?” I ask as we walk into the bedroom.

He chuckles. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You’ve told me you aren’t ready to start anything and I want to respect that.”

“What’s the difference between Friday and now?”

“I wasn’t going to make a move on you the same day you fainted. You were in my bed because I was terrified you weren’t okay, not because I was trying to start something.”

I roll my eyes, grab my pajamas and the things I need to wash my face, and head into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. It’s just as beautiful in here as it is in the rest of the flat. There’s a standing clawfoot bath tub in the corner and a large shower in the other. There are gold accents all throughout that make it feel luxurious and royal.

I change and realize that the pajamas I chose show a bit more skin that I normally would around Alex, but I can’t find it in me to care. I splash warm water on my face and lather face wash into my hands. I realize, as I reach up to start rubbing it into my skin, that I didn’t tie my hair up. I pause for a few seconds and stare into the mirror, trying to problem solve.

My long wavy hair will fall over my shoulders and into the sink if I don’t somehow tie it back, but I hate to waste the product on my hands. I let out a groan of frustration as I stare at my reflection.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, his voice close to the door.

“Oh, I’m fine. I just forgot to tie my hair back and I already have face wash all over my hands.”

There’s a moment of silence before I hear his voice again.

“Can I come in?” I glance down at myself in my silk tank and shorts set. It’s a pale pink and hangs low on my chest showing a bit more cleavage than normal. Oh well, he’s going to see it when I step out of the bathroom..

“Um, sure.”

The door pushes open and his eyes meet mine. I laugh a little at myself, at the picture he’s seeing. I’m standing here with sudsy hands staring at myself in the mirror. His eyes light up and then flare as they quickly glance down my body then bounce back up to my face and he steps towards me.

“Here, let me help.” He stands behind me and, with the most gentle touch, begins moving my dark hair. He pulls it all behind my shoulders and then gathers it in his hands in a low ponytail.

“Do you want to tie it up? I probably have a hair tie somewhere around here.” I trail off as I glance around the counter top looking for one.

“I’ll just hold it, do your thing, sunshine.” Our eyes meet in the mirror and I smile at him. I begin washing my face and after a minute or two of scrubbing, I lean forward to splash water onto my face and wash it off.

As I lean forward, my backside presses into him and I feel him jerk back quickly, not letting go of my hair. My cheeks heat at the accidental contact, but I recover by the time I stand back up and grab a towel, patting my face dry.

As I stare into the mirror at the two of us standing together, I am overwhelmed with thoughts of gratitude for this man. The way he takes care of me is unlike anyone else in my life and he has proven time and time again that he isn’t leaving. He is there for me in the big things and in the small, and he believes in me with a ferocity that I don’t even know that I have for myself.

Suddenly I’ve made my decision, to hell with waiting. I need his mouth on mine. I need to feel his skin on mine and even though I’m scared, I know I want this. I take a steadying breath, willing myself to tell him this without my voice shaking. I’m about to say the words, I want to try this with him, and then he lets go of my hair and pulls away and I lose my nerve.

He smiles at me in the mirror and walks back into the bedroom, closing the bathroom door behind him. I let out a quiet groan and bang my head on the wall in frustration. This is my fault. I told him I wasn’t ready and now he’s pulling away, because he thinks I want that. I don’t.

I finish brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, then I slip out of the bathroom and find the bedroom empty. The sheets on the bed are pulled back and waiting for me. I resist the urge to jump right in, and walk to the doorway to see what Alex is doing. I find him piling pillows and blankets onto the couch, then he sits and notices me standing there.

“You don’t have to do that. Just come in here with me, you barely fit on that thing.” He proves me right when he lays back and his feet hang off the edge. There is no way he’s getting sleep if he stays out here, but he seems persistent.

“I’m good. Go to sleep, sunshine.” I stand there for a few more seconds just staring at the kind, stubborn and beautiful man in front of me. Eventually, I admit defeat and turn to climb into bed.

I burrow down into the sheets and close my eyes, trying desperately to fall asleep, but the want I experienced earlier in the evening has come back tenfold. My skin itches with desire.

“Alex,” I call softly. “Are you awake?”

“You okay?” His scratchy and sleepy voice sends a chill down my spine.

“I’m fine but…” I hesitate.

“Yes?”

“Will you—” I take a deep breath and the fact that he isn’t right in front of me allows me to be brave. “Will you kiss me?”

It sounds so juvenile when I say it out loud, like I’m a teenage girl asking for her first kiss, but I know Alex appreciates honesty and I also know there’s no way he would make a move until I give him the all clear. He’s too good to make assumptions.

For a second, I don’t hear anything. It’s completely silent aside from my breathing and I think I might have pushed him too far and he’s changed his mind.

“Come here,” he says, voice assertive and dominant.

“What?” I whisper into the darkness.

“Come here, Alana.” Why is him using my full name in this situation so sexy? I slowly get out of the bed and tiptoe across the room and to the living room. I don’t know why I’m being quiet, it’s only us here, but it feels like if I make any sudden movements I might break whatever is happening between us right now.

I walk over to him where he’s sitting up on the couch. I’m about a foot away when I stop and he reaches out and takes hold of my hips, tugging me forward. I go easily, drunk on the way his skin on mine feels.

“Are you sure?” He reaches up and cups my cheek with his warm hand, forcing me to look him in the eye. Not that I want to look anywhere else right now.

“I’m terrified, but I’m sure.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”

“I know. I trust you.” That seems to be all he needs in confirmation. He stands and his hand moves to cup my jaw and tilt it upward, allowing him better access. Before I can second guess a thing, his lips are on mine. His kisses are firm and hungry in the best way. He coaxes my mouth open with his tongue and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.

As the kiss heats up, my hands snake up his chest and around his neck, playing with the hair on his nape and pulling him further into me. He moans into my mouth and it’s the best sound I have ever heard.

A kiss has never felt like this before.

After a few minutes, he slows us down and separates from me, pulling back and looking intensely into my eyes.

I can tell he’s doing a temperature check, making sure I’m okay.

“You with me?” I nod. “Let me hear you, sunshine.”

I shiver. “I’m with you.”

He kisses me again, this time slower, like his life depends on it. With every brush of his lips, he’s slowly working me up. He reaches down and places his hands on the backs of my upper thighs and I jump, my legs instinctively wrapping around him.

“So are we doing this?” he asks when he pulls back for air.

“Yes. Bed,” I demand, clinging to him tighter and kissing his neck.

“Not that, Lanie,” he says with a chuckle. I pull back and look at him, my brow furrowed in confusion. “I mean, are you ready to try this with me? A relationship? I don’t just want you in my bed, I want you outside of it too.”

My heart melts at his words.

“I’m ready. You protect my heart better than anyone I know. I have some stuff I might have to work through, but I’m done letting my past relationship dictate my current happiness.”

He kisses me again, almost like he can’t help it, before saying anything else. “I’m so proud of you, you have no idea. I’ll help you work on whatever you need to work on and I’ll respect the need for professionalism when it comes to work. I know that’s important to you and I wouldn’t want to take that from you.”

I stare into his eyes and reach over and pinch myself on my arm, wincing when it hurts.

“What was that?” he asks, chuckling at me.

“Are you real?”

He laughs and places small sweet kisses all over my face. On my cheeks, my temples, my forehead and chin, on my eyelids and nose. He slowly works his way down my jaw and begins kissing my neck. I lean my head back and let out a happy sound.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he says, his voice firm.

“I’m yours,” I breathe.

“Hell yeah you are.” He moves me away from the couch and carries me into the bedroom, setting me down on the bed with such gentleness, as if he was handling glass.

“As much as I would love to take full advantage of the fact that we only have one bed, I don’t want to move too fast. It’s late and I know you’re still recovering from this week. How about we save that for another night? I don’t plan on letting you go, so we’ve got all the time in the world.”

“That sounds good,” I say, smiling up at him. “But you’ll sleep with me in here, right?”

“You couldn’t pay me to sleep anywhere else.”

We cuddle up in the bed and don’t say much else, just listen to the sound of each other breathing. A few minutes after we settle, he says my name softly. “Lanie, look.”

I open my eyes and look out at the Eiffel Tower as it shimmers and shines in the night sky. It’s a metaphor for the feelings bubbling up inside me, glittery and bright and shiny. Everything feels like it’s glowing.

We watch it for a little longer and eventually I fall into the deepest sleep I’ve had in forever, surrounded by cedar and sandalwood and him .