Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

42. Alex

CHAPTER 42

Alex

We’ve endured another week of work at Impress Europe and it’s finally Friday. I couldn’t be more thankful to have some time alone with my girl, and I plan to take full advantage. It’s been torture not being able to touch and kiss her at work, but it’s a lot easier to hold back than it would be to explain it to everyone.

Luis and Genevieve are constantly on her back, so I know that announcing our relationship to people who we don’t actually work with and won’t see again after we leave just isn’t worth it. Our nights have been full of conversations about everything under the sun, some deep and others not.

I’m so eager to check off tonight’s list item and I can’t wait for Alana to find out what it is. I know she’s been excited to complete the last few items on her list, and now that our relationship has changed, this just feels like another opportunity to do something new with her.

We’ve been home for a few hours, cooked dinner together, and now she’s taking a bubble bath. I walk into the bedroom and knock on the bathroom door, careful not to push in even though it’s cracked.

“You can come in, the bubbles are covering everything,” she says. I take a steadying breath because just the idea of this woman covered in bubbles is enough to make my blood heat, and walk into the room.

She’s got her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and short wisps falling down all around. Some of them have touched the water and they cling to her skin, sort of how I wish I was right now.

“We’re going to head out for a special activity in about an hour. Think you can be ready?” I ask.

“Oooh what are we doing? Can I guess?”

“Sure you can. There aren’t too many items left.”

“Ice skating, gingerbread…” She ticks each item off on her fingers and it makes me smile. “PJs aaaand…”

“Cinnamon rolls,” I finish for her. She smiles up at me, seemingly happy at my ability to recall her list.

“Is it gingerbread houses?”

“Try again.”

“Hmmm…ice skating?” she asks, a giddy smile on her perfect lips.

“You got it.” I lean down and kiss her, then turn and head back into the living room. “Be sure to wear something warm,” I toss over my shoulder as I go.

I spend some time reading on the bed and gazing out the window at the Eiffel Tower beyond. This flat was made for us, and while I’m a little sad we haven’t been here this whole time, I think it came to us at exactly the right moment.

I hear the tub start to drain and minutes later she walks out in a fluffy white towel. She’s rifling through her clothes trying to pick out what to wear and I love listening to her commentary as she does it. It’s so cute—she’ll hum and tsk at different options and talk to them as if they’re able to respond to her.

“Hmm I wonder if I paired you with…”

“Wouldn’t you look nice with those boots…”

“I just wore you silly, I can’t wear you again for at least another week.”

It’s endearing and it makes me like her even more. I’m well aware that my feelings for her are sailing past like and creeping into the love territory, but it’s early and I need to let her catch up. I’ve been falling for her for a year now, but she’s only just started.

Eventually, she lands on black fleece lined leggings, a black sweater, a long white puffy coat and a pink scarf. She grabs her cream mittens and earmuffs that look like they have little puff balls on each end, sets those on the bed for later, and escapes to the bathroom to change.

Fifteen minutes later she emerges looking like every version of perfection.

I stand from the bed and make my way to her, sliding my hand around her waist and holding her close. “You look incredible.” I kiss her and she hums into my mouth, taking the kiss deeper within seconds. I pull away and she lets out a sound of unhappiness, which makes me laugh.

“We have to get going or we’re going to be too late. Let’s go.” She grabs her mittens and earmuffs, takes my hand, and follows me out the door and down to the lobby. We get in the car and Marco drives us to the location that I sent him earlier this week. He assured me this was a top place to visit for the holidays in Paris.

We approach the Tuileries Garden Christmas Market, La Magie de No?l, and I am blown away. I can tell Alana is too by the expression on her face. There are people everywhere and booth after booth of different food, drinks, carnival games, and more. There’s also a huge Ferris wheel a bit further down and Alana takes my hand in hers and squeezes. “I want to do that,” she says.

“Whatever you want, sunshine,” I reply, and kiss her temple.

After purchasing a pack of tickets at the booth we begin to make our way through the market. We get cups of hot apple cider and share a churro, stopping to browse at all of the different offerings. We spot bumper cars and some other carnival-type ride where the people on the ride swing back and forth. It doesn’t look like one I’d particularly enjoy, so I’m thankful when she doesn’t show any interest in it.

Eventually we make our way to the ice skating rink and I hand the woman at the front our tickets. She gives us skates and we sit down at the benches to put them on. Alana starts to untie the tennis shoes she’s wearing, but I reach out and stop her.

“Let me,” I say and kneel in front of her. I pull off her shoes gently and then slide the skates on, taking time to make sure each of them is safely laced up so they don’t wobble or slip off of her feet. As I finish up, I look up to find her staring down at me with watery eyes.

“Hey, what’s that for?” I ask, a slight panic in my voice. This is supposed to be fun.

“Nothing, nothing,” she says, sniffing her tears away and waving her hand in the air in a gesture of dismissal. “I’m just a big baby. Thank you, Alex.” She leans down and kisses me sweetly and I feel better knowing this was likely just a moment for her. One of those ones where she realizes how poorly she was treated before, and how she won’t be treated that way ever again.

I put mine on too and stand, then reach out a hand for her to hold on to as she gets her footing in the skates. She wobbles a little at first, but once she gets the hang of it she’s walking just fine. We go hand in hand to the edge of the rink and I step out carefully, then hold a hand out for her. She and Charlie do this every year, so she probably has some experience. I don’t have much, but hopefully I pick it up fast.

We begin to move together, our hands tightly gripped together, and little by little we both begin to gain some confidence. After a few minutes of hesitantly skating, we start to pick up speed a little. Her death grip has loosened and we’re just enjoying each other.

A while later, I turn and skate backwards, pulling her forward by her hand.

“Show off,” she says, rolling her eyes. “It’s annoying how good you are at everything.”

“You love it.” I wink at her.

“I do not.”

“Sure,” I say sarcastically. Just as the word leaves my lips, my skate catches on a patch of ice that isn’t as smooth as the others and I’m going down before I can even realize what’s happening.

Thankfully, I have enough awareness to let go of her hand so she doesn’t tumble down with me, but I fall hard, landing on my butt then my back, and the pain shoots through me.

I know I’m not seriously hurt—it hurts my pride more than anything—but the shock of falling keeps me on the ground for a few seconds before I attempt to stand. My skates are sliding out from underneath me and Alana is dying of laughter, so I have nothing to grab onto.

“Wait, wait. Stop flailing around like a baby deer, here grab hold.” She is still shaking with laughter as she puts her arm out, and I can’t find it in me to be annoyed that she’s laughing at my pain. I love her laugh, and I’d fall a million more times if that meant I could keep hearing it.

“I was humbled pretty quickly there.”

She wheezes, laughing harder now. “You sure were. Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else noticed. I won’t tell.” She mimes zipping her lips, locking them, and then places the imaginary key in the front pocket of my flannel.

“I’ll keep it safe,” I say and pat the pocket.

We continue skating, thankfully with no other falls, and it’s perfect and magical and everything a date during the holidays should be. I back myself up against the wall of the rink and reach out for her hips, fitting my hands right in the curve where her waist meets her torso, and pull her in towards me. She comes easily, thanks to the skates, and I love the way my hands fit perfectly in the curves of her body, like it was made for me.

I pull her into a passionate kiss and she sighs happily against my lips. We stay like that for a few moments, my hands sliding down to cup her bottom and squeeze, until someone whistles at us and it breaks the moment.

Alana is snickering into my jacket, too embarrassed to show her face for a few moments. I’m lost in thought as I look at her and eventually my eyes move to the people skating around us. There are lots of adults, but so many families.

“Do you think I’ll be a good dad someday?” I startle, hearing the question leave my lips. I was thinking it in my head, but didn’t intend to ask it out loud. I look down at Alana, seeing the surprise on her face and immediately worry I touched a topic I shouldn’t have. Before I can take back my words, she speaks.

“Of course you’ll be a phenomenal dad, Alex.” She reaches up and brushes back a curl that’s fallen in front of my face, then leaves her hand on my cheek. “Where did that come from?”

The care in her eyes warms me from the inside and makes me feel like I can tell her anything.

“I think the fact that I didn’t have a father figure growing up caused me to have a lot of fears about ever being one myself. I, um—” I clear my throat, feeling the burn of tears in the backs of my eyes but desperately trying to keep them in. “I think I’m scared that because my dad didn’t stick around for me, I won’t know how to be a good dad to my kids one day.”

My fears sit heavy between us and I wonder if I should have just kept these thoughts to myself, but I know Alana needs to hear this. I’ve asked her to share her fears with me, it’s only right that I do the same in return.

“Alex, you are going to be the best dad, no matter who you parent children with.” She looks straight into my eyes, a ferocity burning in hers. “Over the last year you have shown me how caring and intentional you are. You pay attention to every little thing I say and do, you find places where I might need help and gently pick up the slack without making me feel bad about it. You are affectionate in the sweetest ways and you’re steady and safe, everything a child needs. Your kids are going to be so lucky to have you as a dad.”

I feel a single tear escape and before I can reach up, Alana leans forward and kisses it away. She goes to pull back, but I bring my hand up to the back of her head and direct her back to me instead. I kiss her deeply, audience be damned, and she melts into me.

“Thank you, Lanie.” This conversation didn’t magically fix the doubts and fears swirling around in my head, but I feel lighter having someone to share my burdens with.

Eventually we make our way out of the rink and back into our street shoes. We wander around the market a bit more, grab a few other treats, and take a ride on the Ferris wheel. On the way home, I clasp her hand in mine and squeeze three times, saying three words silently that I can’t quite say out loud yet.