Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

47. Alana

CHAPTER 47

Alana

The last twenty-four hours have been insane, and I’m thankful to not have to worry about anything else between now and Christmas. These are supposed to be my favorite days of the year, so I’m working hard to push back the emotions from yesterday.

This morning we went out and had breakfast at a cute little cafe near our building. Alex ordered for both of us and I sat back and took it all in. It has been a crazy few weeks, but we did it. We came to Paris, took on a huge job and an unfamiliar city, and ended up in each other’s arms. If that isn’t a success I’m not sure what is. It was a surreal feeling of accomplishment and joy.

Despite my overall happiness, I was still a little off emotionally. I worked really hard to just be okay, but when people get to you it’s sometimes difficult to just shake it off. There is one thing I remember Cami doing with me when something similar happened at work a while back.

It had been an awful week and Ian had thrown out every idea we took to him. The pressure was on to get the issue just right and I was really feeling it from all sides. One of the editors under me made a snarky comment about how I clearly wasn’t fit for the job if all of our ideas kept getting rejected, and I took it to heart.

Cami followed me inside my apartment that day and shuffled the Reputation album, then told me to dance it off. I just stood there in my kitchen, staring at her as she jumped around and flailed her arms. After a few seconds I started to laugh, and after a few more seconds I started to sway side to side, and eventually I began dancing and singing with her.

The dancing didn’t magically make all of my problems disappear, but it did help reset my nervous system. The tension in my shoulders eased, it felt easier to smile and joke, and that person’s voice stopped echoing in my head.

I was remembering this technique just as we arrived back home, and before I could think much about what I was doing I pulled Alex by the hand into the kitchen and hit play on the same album on my phone.

“This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” starts playing through my phone’s speaker, and I begin dancing and singing along. Alex does the same routine as I did with Cami. First he laughs, then he sways, and finally he dances.

We jump around and scream the lyrics (yes, Alex knows them and yes, I am impressed) and it feels like the most therapeutic thing I’ve done in a really long time. It feels good to release all of my emotions this way.

After a few songs, “New Year’s Day” begins to play and he pulls me to him, swaying us back and forth as we listen to the lyrics. He’s pressed my body to his firmly and I don’t think there's one inch of me that isn’t touching him. My head is tucked under his chin and I get an overwhelming feeling of safety. I smile into his chest as the lyrics talk about not wanting to just be around for the fun times, but for all of the messy times as well. It feels like an exact mirror of my feelings. We dance for a while longer in our tiny kitchen with the Eiffel Tower just outside our window, and I feel immense happiness.

Eventually, I drag him to the bedroom and collapse on the bed, pulling him down next to me. I take the longest nap of my life cuddled close to him, and when I wake up, he’s still laying next to me. His eyes are open already and fixed on my face, and he reaches over and brushes the hair away from my eyes.

“Do you think we can come back here someday?” I ask, my voice scratchy from sleep. “I feel like we missed out on so much because we were working.”

Alex smiles down at me. “We can come back whenever you want.” He places a soft kiss on my nose and continues. “Maybe we can make it a tradition. Add it to that list of yours.”

“I wouldn’t mind a yearly December trip.” It feels good to make plans for the future. I notice how different it feels with Alex. He doesn’t scoff at my ideas or push them off like I’m being clingy or too much, he listens and he cares. I love him. I want to tell him, but I’m not sure when the right moment is.

“We’re going to need to start packing things up soon. We’ve got stuff everywhere around here,” he says as we both stare at our bedroom. There are various items strewn about and he’s right, we need to start getting ready to go home.

“I don’t want to think about that yet.”

“Fair enough,” he says before pushing back the covers and sitting up on the side of the bed. “Are you hungry? I can make us some lunch.” As soon as he says it, my stomach growls. “Well, I guess there’s my answer.”

We make our way out into the living room, but I pull him to a stop before we make it to the kitchen.

“I have a question.”

“What is it, sunshine?”

“Is that for me?” My eyes move to the present under the tree and his follow.

“It is.”

“Is it my pajamas?”

“It is.”

“Can I open it?”

He smiles a handsome, crooked smile at me. It’s a smile that lights up my insides.

“Sure, but only if that one,” he gestures to the gift I wrapped, “is mine.”

I reach under the tree and take both presents out, handing his to him and holding mine in my lap.

“You go first,” I say.

He begins unwrapping the box and takes his time pulling on the edges of the paper, being careful not to rip it to shreds. He’s too delicate with it, to be honest. Usually when I open presents, I dive right in.

He takes the tissue paper out and sets it to the side, then pulls out the pair of pajamas I got him. They’re a flannel set of pants and a button up long sleeve shirt, and they’re covered in vintage baseball cards. Different baseball legends are littered all across the chest, arms and legs. Players like Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, and Jackie Robinson. He turns them over and over in his hands, not speaking for a full minute and making me second guess my decision to honor this part of him.

This is something he shared with his dad and maybe it wasn’t the right call to bring this back up in this way.

“Lanie.” He swallows and his eyes are glassy. I want to run and hide, I’m so embarrassed. “These are incredible. Where did you get these?”

Thank you sweet baby Jesus.

“I scoured the internet until I found them. You really like them?”

“Like them? Sunshine, I love them. Thank you so much.” He leans forward and places a sweet kiss against my lips. “Okay, your turn.”

I do the complete opposite of him, and rip into the package like a feral cat. There’s shreds of paper all around me, but I don’t care. Every other area of my life is organized and neat, but this is the fun part about opening gifts.

I gasp when I pull the silk set he chose out of the box. It’s a button up shirt and pants, and they’re a vibrant red. The best part, though, is that they’re covered in pink bows. The silk is cool to the touch, like a cold pair of sheets you’re sliding into after a long day, and I love that he knows I enjoy sleeping in silk. I love that he knows me.

“They look just like my bow,” I say as I stare down at them.

“I can’t look at bows now without thinking of you.”

“They’re beautiful, Alex. Thank you. I can’t wait to wear them tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait to see you in them,” he says with a wink.

Later that evening, Alex makes dinner and we play a board game. Around midnight, he makes ice cream sundaes, topped with whipped cream, caramel sauce, sprinkles, and a cherry. We sit criss-cross on the couch, facing each other, eating ice cream and laughing about embarrassing stories from our childhood.

I never thought I’d have this. I thought I had it once, and then I lost in a way that made me believe it didn’t exist for me. I believed that lie for so long, but all it took was the right man with incredible patience and love to waltz into my life and shake it up for the better.