Til Debt Do Us Part (Married At Midnight #4)

Chapter 14

Fourteen

Talia

"N o, no," my Aunt Minnie says as she looks at how I'm stacking the books in our store's display window. "These are children’s books. They may just be the books that the Morgan family didn’t want. But in order to capture our target audience, that being children, we have to entice them in an unexpected way."

She gestures to the books that I’ve just stacked in a neat pile, with one book leaning on the front to show the illustration.

"I’m not sure how you want me to stack them. You didn’t provide any instructions." I give my Aunt Minnie a long look and wave at the stack to invite her to arrange them as she wants them.

"I swear, the artistic gene just skipped over you entirely.” Aunt Minnie comes over and tousles the stack of books, nudging some out and arranging them in a pleasing pattern. She looks back at me, cocking her head. "See? It’s important to make the display alluring."

Muffling a sigh, I give her a small smile. The whole window display is done in Minnie’s aesthetic style. She’s redone the entire window and now it features loud, hot pink, and lime green paper cutouts, some in snowflake patterns, some in three-dimensional origami stars. Overall, it actually looks surprisingly attractive. But it’s not something that the average person would ever dream up, especially not for a window display.

"It looks great," I tell her. "I’m sure that it will help us move all the books that the Morgans didn’t pay for, or, at the very least, a portion of them."

Aunt Minnie climbs up the ladder she has placed by the window and starts arranging the hanging stars. They are tacked to the ceiling and hung with lengths of sewing thread.

They look very kitschy. It is all very Aunt Minnie.

This is how it usually goes. Aunt Minnie dresses the window, and I help her with a smile. Today, though, that smile is missing. Or rather, it is pasted on and phony, only brought up when I am directly challenged on why it is not there.

Minnie snaps her fingers, trying to lure me out of my daydream once again. "Talia? I swear, this window display would’ve been done an hour ago if your head wasn’t so firmly in the clouds."

"Sorry." I shake my head. "I’m not sure why I am so distracted today."

Minnie arches a brow and holds a beautiful three-dimensional star up by its long string, shaking it gently. "It wouldn’t have anything to do with what I told you the other night, would it?"

My cheeks flush. Her news, which she told me the other night, that she owes some bad people a lot of money, has not been far from my mind since she uttered it to me. But that isn’t really the whole reason.

I push that reason down in my mind, forcing a smile onto my lips. "It’s nothing. I promise. Just… Something Olivia told me. Nothing to do with the store."

It isn’t technically a lie. More like a fib. An omission of the truth. After all, Olivia did tell me to get the test, which now lies in my purse behind the register.

Aunt Minnie looks down, frowning in concentration as her fingers fly over a piece of paper. About a year ago, Aunt Minnie picked up origami as a hobby of sorts. Since then, she has gone from flooding the bungalow that we live in with paper cranes to these more elaborate three-dimensional stars that take her fifteen minutes to build.

I drift off again as she works, my mind pulled into my actual worry. What if I am pregnant?

The only way to find out is to take the test, obviously. But in order to do that, I need Minnie to leave me alone in the store for an hour, just to be sure that I can have loud, messy emotions without her finding out.

I gulp. Aunt Minnie straightens and pulls a paper hat on her head, lifting a funny, bright green paper mustache to the top of her lips. She strikes a pose, raising her eyebrows in question. "What do you think? I’m thinking that I'll hang a few hats like this one from the ceiling, and then I'll have a dish of these mustaches handy, making our display window a cool place for people to take selfies.”

I blink and nod slowly. "Wow. I did not think you would be so forward about something involving modern technology. That’s really progressive of you."

Grinning, Aunt Minnie wiggles her eyebrows. "This old dog still has new tricks up her sleeve."

I narrow my eyes on her face, trying to parse out the two idioms that she mashed together to produce that sentence. Of her many quirks, that’s one of her most confusing ones. It’s definitely a verbal tic, because when it was pointed out to Aunt Minnie, she claimed to not realize that she even did it.

"I think it’s a great idea," I add. "Definitely forward-thinking."

Aunt Minnie pauses, still holding the hat and mustache in place. "You think so? I’m just trying to keep the young people engaged. Would you take a picture of me?"

This time, my smile is more genuine. "Of course." I pull my cell phone out and snap a couple of pictures, though my cell phone doesn’t capture images very well. I figure that’s fine, since I don’t think that Aunt Minnie cares so much about my skill as a photographer anyway.

Minnie gets wobbly on the way down when she finally descends the ladder. I step in and put my hands under her elbows, helping her down the last couple of steps.

Aunt Minnie turns around and hugs me, burying her face in my hair. She's the same height as me, but frail and wiry, her gray hair tickling my nose as she presses her face against my shoulder.

"Thanks, kiddo."

She holds me close for several seconds. I take a deep breath, inhaling her scent of violet perfume and menthol cough drops. The scent is comforting, sinking into my bones. It occurs to me that I haven’t hugged anyone in a while, and I feel like I should hug Aunt Minnie whenever I get the chance. I never know what life is going to throw my way. If I have learned anything, it’s that my time with my loved ones is a precious commodity.

When Minnie pulls back, gently pushing against my shoulders, I let go. I am quick to wipe away the moistness that pools in the corners of my eyes.

Feeling silly, I clear my throat and look Minnie in the eye.

"I love you," I say. "I don’t know if I told you that recently or not."

Aunt Minnie gives me a beautiful smile. "I love you, too, kiddo. I feel like maybe I don’t say it enough. But your coming into my life was the best thing that ever happened to me."

She turns on her heel, heading away from me. I am left blotting the corners of my eyes; my voice has been stolen by Aunt Minnie dropping that bomb on me.

In a world that seems hard and unfeeling, I have at least one person in my corner. It is always really nice to be reminded of that.

"Talia!" Minnie calls. She is rooting around in the back hallway. I close the front door and change the sign to say back in a minute . Then I head into the back, finding Minnie in her small space.

Minnie’s space looks like an absolute disaster, a closet straight out of an interior designer’s nightmare. There are art supplies and books and odd scraps of paper with Aunt Minnie’s handwriting scrawled on them, all mixed together. Aunt Minnie is pulling on her coat, which she liberated very recently from under a pile of googly eyes. She looks up at me, pulling a beret over her head, and smiling again.

"I’m off to volunteer at Hope House," she announces. "All the kids say that they miss seeing you every day."

I inhale, stinging from that revelation. "It’s true; I haven’t been there recently. But I thought they had a fresh batch of volunteers.”

Minnie buttons her coat and gives me a look. "They do. We are beyond set up for volunteers for the next two months. That doesn’t mean that the kids miss you any less, though."

I nod, my smile falling away. "I know. Things have just been crazy for the last week. I have been so busy between my shifts here and at the restaurant. Plus, I have this ongoing project that I’m working on with Olivia."

I don’t mention to Aunt Minnie that the project is what I am calling Dare. I rush to assure my aunt. "My project will be completed pretty soon. I swear."

Minnie moves forward to give me another quick hug and pats my shoulder. "That’s good, kiddo. I am just passing on a message. I'm not really concerned about it either way. I just want you to be healthy and happy."

She gently moves me out of the doorway and starts toward the front. I lick my lips, feeling terrible. Not being able to confide in Aunt Minnie is hard. But I tell myself that it will only last a little bit longer.

At least, that is the plan.

As soon as she is gone, I walk to the desk, my eyes riveted on my boho bag. I dig through the contents and quickly pull out the box that I’ve been thinking about all day.

I swallow, and my pulse races as I cup the pregnancy test in my hands. My hands shake as I turn it over.

In just ninety seconds, you can find out if you are pregnant.

I can feel the sweat breaking out across my brow. The bell at the door chimes, and I look up, ready to tell any customers that the bookshop is closed for lunch right now.

But then I see Olivia walk into the store, her brown hair falling around her shoulders. She has a worried expression on her face. I let out a moan, holding up the box for her to see. Her brow knits as she rushes over to me and hugs me tightly. I hold onto her for a second longer than is strictly necessary, taking comfort in her embrace.

She looks at the box in my hand and nods solemnly. "I’ll get the lock on the front door. You have got to do this right now. This is the only way to be sure."

I inhale, suddenly feeling like her words have given me a blow to my stomach. She turns and heads to the front door, and I go to the little bathroom down the hall. I nervously open the box and stare at the applicator.

My entire future has turned into a series of question marks. It’s all very opaque and uncertain.

After peeing on the test strip, I can't stand to stay in the bathroom with the test. That test holds so many answers about exactly what my future will be.

I can’t even look at it as I close the bathroom door behind me. I exhale when I’m on the other side of the door. As if the meager shelter is protecting me from that little test that could destroy my life.

I press my knuckles against my lips and close my eyes, trying to remember how to breathe. When Olivia’s hands gently grip my arms, I jump, and my eyes pop open. She gives me a soothing look.

"Why don’t we go wait in your office?"

I nod, and she herds me down the hallway and into my small, tidy space. She closes the door after me and sits me down in the chair opposite the desk. This is usually the guest chair, hardly ever used, but now it saves my shaky legs from failing me. I rest, grateful for the furniture.

"Talia," Olivia says. "Look at me."

Swallowing, I raise my eyes to her face. She kneels in front of me, her hands taking up space on my knee. She looks up at me and smiles, reaching up and tucking a strand of my copper hair behind my ear.

"It’s going to be okay, no matter what the test says. Okay?"

I shake my head.

"You don’t… You don’t know that," I stutter.

She purses her lips and tilts her head to one side. "Talia. You are the one who has always told me that you want a family. In fact, you told me several times that you want seven kids. That’s a lot, by the way."

I rub my temples, feeling like I have a headache brewing. "I do want a family. I’ve always wanted a chance to have a big family full of laughter and love. But this is not how a family starts. This is an accident. A mistake."

"Only if you choose to look at it that way. You don’t have to. Also, there is no rule saying that you have to have a child now. Assuming that, you know, the test is positive."

The idea of having an abortion is not exactly appealing to me. I’m all for easy access to abortion and family planning. I feel strongly about it, in fact. But actually having one of my own?

I can’t fathom it.

I suck in a breath. "I’ve always said that when I finally got the chance, I would do it right. I would find a husband who dotes on me. I would wait a year or so after we got married to ensure that we were actually meant to be together. And then I would get pregnant. Not like this. Not… with him ."

Olivia’s shrugs. "I assume that it’s Burn Morgan’s baby that we are talking about here, in theory."

"Yeah, unfortunately. The most unlikable asshole ever. Plus, he is definitely engaged. I have met his fiancée. She is no blooming rose, either."

Her mouth turns down at the corners. "It is unfortunate that it would be his," she admits.

I look skyward, almost pleading with the heavens. "I don’t even know how I will continue to feed myself, much less another mouth. It just isn’t feasible to have a baby right now. I spent my whole life going to school with brown paper bag lunches, wearing three sweaters inside the house to cut down on heating costs, and clipping coupons. I've scrimped and saved, and I've been concerned about money every waking minute of my life. I was determined never to be a burden to Aunt Minnie or anyone else." My eyes fill with tears, a sudden wall of emotion threatening to crush me.

"You are not a burden on anyone," Olivia says tartly. "I don’t want to hear you talking like that ever again."

“I’m just… so disappointed in myself.” I drop my face to my hands and cover my eyes. "I can’t believe I went out and got drunk one time. Of course I wound up pregnant because of it. Of course I did. "

"You don’t know that you’re actually pregnant. Just to bring some sense of reality to this situation."

My eyes well up with tears, and my words are cut short by hiccups. “How could I have been so careless? I can just imagine being nine months pregnant and homeless. In what world is that okay?" My words reach a frenzied peak. "That’s not even taking into consideration who the father is. I would rather run through a hail of bullets than contemplate bringing up a child in that family. I have been in the room with all the Morgans. I am telling you right now, that’s a new level of dysfunction that I am not willing to inflict on a helpless child."

"Okay. Okay." Olivia pulls me into her arms, her hand caressing the back of my head. "Okay. Let it out. You’re not even sure that you're pregnant. You don't even have to decide right now whether you're going to have a baby with one of the Morgans. Okay?"

I feel as if I'm being ripped limb from limb. But I try to calm my crying. I don’t want to be a burden on my best friend, especially by using her as an emotional crutch. I breathe out through my mouth and try to regulate my heartbeat. At length, I raise my head, wiping my eyes. I blow out a breath and shake my head.

"I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out on you. I know that you’ve been doing a lot of the emotional heavy lifting for the past couple of weeks."

Olivia smiles at me and tucks my hair behind my ear again, her smile gentle. "It’s okay. You were there for me when Caleb and I broke up. I know that was a crappy time to be my friend. Let me repay the favor."

"Okay. Here we go. Breathe." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, exhaling very slowly.

I mimic her, exhaling and inhaling several times. At last, I feel calm enough to check the test.

Going into that tiny bathroom is literally one of the scariest moments that I think I’ve ever lived through. But once I open that door and look down at the small sink, I see my test.

My positive pregnancy test.

For a moment, I just freeze. Olivia is right behind me in the doorway. She gently pushes me forward half a step, reaching forward to drag the test closer to her with a fingernail. Her eyebrows fly up.

"Shit!" she declares.

I can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes me. "Shit is right. I… I don’t even know what to say. I think I might be in shock."

I turn, and Olivia automatically steps closer, her arms going around me. My eyes well up, and I sniffle.

A small whisper escapes me. "I really want this baby. I do. Just not right now. The timing… and the circumstances… they suck ."

Olivia pulls me close and smooths my hair back from my forehead, giving me a tight squeeze. "I know you do, boo."

"I cannot afford to be pregnant right now."

Olivia rocks me, her gentle embrace making me cry.

She whispers. "Are you going to tell Burn?"

"How can I?" As I swallow a sob, I say. "How do I even begin to find the words?"

She stops rocking me, pulls back, and looks at me very seriously. "I don’t know how. But it’s important that you tell him. Unless… Unless you don’t keep it."

Her words are like acid in the pit of my stomach. I make a disgusted face, shaking my head. "I don’t know. I don’t know how. And… Shit, how am I supposed to tell Dare?"

"How about we focus on one Morgan brother at a time? Okay?"

I gulp and collapse into Olivia’s hug once more, my eyes not leaving the positive pregnancy test on the counter.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?