Til Debt Do Us Part (Married At Midnight #4)

Chapter 18

Eighteen

Talia

"W ait, so he just proposed to you? Completely out of the blue?"

I nod, walking beside Olivia. We are crossing Harwicke, heading for the Lucky Farms stables. It’s mid-morning and sunny outside, for a New England winter day.

"Wow," Olivia says. "I mean… It’s the most unromantic proposal I’ve ever heard. But then again, you get five hundred thousand dollars. So, factor that in, I guess."

I turn right, leaving the edge of Harwicke. We begin climbing the gentle slope toward the peak of the town.

The Morgan family estate sits at the top of everything, looking down on the town just as the family looks down on everyone that lives here. But the stables are settled at the bottom of the hill that eventually grows into a deep incline, becoming a bluff.

In the winter light, the dark landscape here looks especially harsh. Up this high, the sun throws odd shadows against the dark soil. We are on the edge of town now, with the sea to our right. Its dark waves wash up onto the shore and black rocks meet the harsh, pounding surf like a set of dark, stained giant’s teeth. Once on the beach, the water’s icy fingers reach out, trying to touch everything in its path.

Pulling my coat closer, I shiver and turn away. The stables are only a five-minute walk from here, and I need to get my head right before I get to the horses. They are very sensitive animals, and if I’m even a little mad or tense, whatever horse I am assigned will no doubt suffer for it.

"So?" Olivia asks. She slips her hands into her pockets as she scrunches up her face. Her hair is blowing all around her like a halo as the wind whips up.

I huddle in my coat and say, "You should have driven us. It’s so cold right now. I wanted to walk, but it would’ve been a better idea to drive."

She snuffles and gives a halfhearted shrug. "I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but I really must know. Are you going to tell Burn about the pregnancy? Or are you going to accept Dare's proposal?"

“Both sound equally terrible.”

I squint out over the horizon. We soon come to a flat area, just a few minutes from where the stables are located. The ground here is made of rich, dark soil, which makes it perfect for horses to run around in.

"I know Dare’s proposal is enticing. But I would be lying to everyone. You know? It seems like it would be hard to grow up in a house with two liars as parents."

"Yeah, I guess if you thought about it from your baby’s perspective. I just thought…" She trails off, her lips thinning.

"Whatever you're thinking, I need you to say it out loud."

"Well, I thought that Dare offered you a way out. You say you want a family. And Dare is offering a way for you to have that. I know that he would probably be a less-than great husband, but you know that his money and resources would make sure that your child is set for life."

I nod slowly. "Yeah. That’s definitely part of the reason why I’m struggling to make a decision. Just… Dare is undeniably very attractive, but looks fade. Then I'd be stuck with his personality, which is, to be honest, not great. I actually think I hate him."

"Yeah. I get that."

We come around a gentle curve in the road and the stables appear before us. There are a few small buildings, a barn, and a wide ring outside that is a fenced area where riders can trot and canter in circles.

I look at Olivia, who still looks distracted by our conversation.

"The question is, under what circumstances will you have this baby? Will the baby know who its real father is? Or will it think that its father is his or her uncle?" Her brow furrows. "Just saying that out loud is confusing."

I smile and link my arm with hers, tugging her toward the stables. "Let’s forget about the baby and the proposal for just a little while. It’s been forever since we volunteered here. We can try to enjoy our time while we're here, can’t we?"

She sucks in a breath and gives her head a shake, smiling. "Yes, of course. Sorry. I just don’t know how you are dealing with all this stuff."

"Pretty poorly. But hey, I am glad that you had the idea to come groom some horses. That will be really soothing."

"Just like when we were kids," she adds.

I nod and walk into the barn, thinking of how I used to love horses as a girl. I still love them now, but I was seriously horse crazy back then. Olivia and I both come from poor, working class families. All through our childhood, we would volunteer here on the weekends in exchange for a little riding time during the week.

It’s been over a year since I’ve last been inside this barn, with its exposed beams, its hay-strewn floors, and its stalls built to house individual horses.

The old magic that I used to feel whenever I stepped in this building is still very much alive. I won’t lie; I am excited just to be here. Each stall we pass is about fifty by fifty, and inside each one is a gorgeous horse munching on hay.

I stop at one horse in particular, a longtime favorite of mine. She is named Black Beauty, and she is an enormous black horse with not an ounce of fat anywhere on her beautifully muscular body. The smell of the stable and of horse dung is stronger in here. Although the stables have clearly been recently mucked out, my nose still twitches as I inhale the sickly-sweet odor of fermented horse feed, the smell of the dark soil that pervades every inch of the stables, and a hint of horse poop.

Olivia lets go of my arm and beams all around us. "I didn’t know that this place could be such a mood lifter. But, honestly, the second I walk into the barn, I feel a million times better about everything."

"Same," I say.

I lean over a railing and greet Black Beauty, whispering that I missed her. I scratch her on the forelock, and she knickers in greeting.

"Well, if it isn’t my two favorite girls!"

I turn from Black Beauty’s pen and see that the owner of the stables is heading our way, dressed in knee-high leather boots, a pair of tan riding pants, and a spotless white dress shirt. She looks like what I imagine the inspiration for a Ralph Lauren photo spread would be. She is tall, her brown hair just beginning to gray at the temples, and she struts down the length of the barn towards us, looking every bit like a model.

"Gina!" Olivia calls. "I thought you said on the phone that you might not be here."

"What, and miss my two favorite volunteers?" Gina reaches us and gives us each a quick, hard hug. She isn’t wearing any kind of weather appropriate jacket or anything. But come to think of it, I can’t think of a single time when she expressed being the slightest bit chilly.

She beams at us and steps back, smoothing back a tendril of hair that has escaped from her ponytail. "Are you two going to ride today?" She asked.

Olivia looks at me with a frown and shoves her hands back in her pockets. I can tell that she doesn’t want to ride, though I’m not exactly sure why. I shake my head in response to Gina’s question.

"If it’s okay, Gina, I think that we will just groom today. We have a lot to talk about."

Gina arches a brow and looks at both of us suspiciously. "Is everything okay? Do you need me to do anything? You know I will do whatever I can."

Olivia reaches out and grabs my hand. "I think she just means that we have a lot of catching up to do. Right, Talia?"

My cheeks warm. "Yeah, totally. There is nothing to be alarmed about. Thank you for the offer, though."

Gina touches my shoulder and gives me a soft smile. "You got it. I have a private riding lesson coming up that I am going to go prepare for. But if you guys need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Thank you for grooming the horses. They always appreciated it, and so do I."

I can’t not smile at Gina. "Of course. Anytime, really."

Gina is off then, stopping at one of the horse stalls and taking the Appaloosa out to the ring.

"Okay. Let’s get to work."

Olivia looks around, her brow furrowing. "God, can you imagine if we didn’t have to work here to earn our time in the riding ring? I don’t know who Gina is giving a lesson to, but they are very lucky if they don’t have to worry about how they will pay for their lesson."

I lean against the stall I’m in front of as I give Olivia a knowing look. "So that’s what this is about? Did you bring me here to play groom at the stables because you want to show me that life would be easier if I were rich?"

Olivia walks around the stables, trying to pick a horse to groom. "I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You are a terrible liar, Olivia."

I open Black Beauty's stall and let myself in, closing the gate after me. Olivia shrugs innocently, but she chooses the stall next to mine, a pretty palomino named Hurricane. "I don’t know what I was thinking."

I pick up a long oval brush, its bristles sticking straight out. I then walk over to Black Beauty, letting her smell my hand. After a moment, she nibbles on my palm, and I start to brush her flank. The activity is rhythmic and soothing, not just to me but to Black Beauty as well.

Being at the stables doing an activity that we both wanted so badly to participate in as girls is obviously a gambit to get me to take Dare’s deal.

Olivia turns from Hurricane with a frown. She points at me; her gaze is direct and intense.

"I want you to know that I’m not pressuring you to take this deal that Dare offered. I just wanted to remind you of the lifestyle we had as kids. And in doing so, I want to point out that there is an alternative."

I snort and keep brushing the horse’s flank. "It’s a life of relative poverty and drudgery, compared with a life of luxury and access. That’s what you’re saying?"

She walks around the palomino, disappearing behind its head. "I am not saying that those are the only two options. I am saying that they are among others. I know that you have always wanted a baby. And you have already said that you are going to have it. But the real question is, how are you going to pay for it? What if you have a kid who likes horses? Or flying planes? Or some other expensive hobby that you can’t afford to pay for?"

My lips turn into a thin line. "I don’t think that’s entirely the point."

"Isn’t it? That’s only one tiny question when there are so many more. How are you going to feed the kid? How are you going to educate your baby when it’s older? I just… I’m not advocating for Dare; really, I’m not. But I am saying that if you want to have this baby, you’ll need to make some radical changes. You will probably need to sit down with your Aunt Minnie and have a tough conversation about money. Maybe think about moving out on your own at some point."

I shudder. "God, I can’t picture my life living on my own."

Olivia pokes her head out from behind the horse, wrinkling her face. "I hate to say it, but Aunt Minnie is bad with money. Quite frankly, she is irresponsible with it. And if you keep living with her, you are going to run into this situation over and over again until she either stops giving away money she doesn’t have or you don't live with her anymore. You know I love her dearly, but it’s true."

I run my hand over Black Beauty’s back, feeling a wave of uncertainty wash over me. I murmur, "And Dare is the solution?"

"He is a solution. Not the only one. Again, I want to emphasize. You don’t have to pick him. But you must have a plan. I am going to back you up, no matter what. But I need to know how to do that."

I take a deep breath as I walk around to Black Beauty's head, looking up into her dark eyes and running my fingers through her long, dark mane. “You’re probably right. But let’s talk about concrete pros and cons."

I hear the latch open and close and turn to see Olivia right behind me, her footsteps quiet as she approaches Black Beauty and pets her muzzle gently. "Okay. So, what are the pros that you could see from accepting Dare’s proposal?"

I can’t help but give a little laugh. "Well, we would get every physical thing that we’ve ever wanted. We would be fed, clothed, and have our pick of schools, all provided for by Dare. Plus, I wouldn’t have to have this awkward conversation with Burn. I’m honestly dreading it."

Olivia takes the brush from my hand and runs it over Black Beauty’s shoulder, humming a little to herself. She pauses. "And the cons?"

"God, where do I start? First, I would have to lie to everyone other than you about who knocked me up. That sounds tawdry, but it’s how I feel. I would probably even have to lie to the baby. Plus, the baby would be raised as a Morgan."

"Is that a bad thing?" Olivia asks.

I pull my jacket around myself and look off into the distance. "The Morgan family isn’t exactly what I would call close-knit. In fact, they are all at each other’s throats the majority of the time. It’s not really the dynamic that I want my kid to be raised around. Also, I personally find Dare repugnant. He'd have some say in how the child is raised. And the last thing I want for my child is for them to grow up to be a spoiled, rich child. Just… No."

"Okay. So, let’s talk about what your plan would be if you decided to tell Burn and not to go with Dare’s plan. Paint a picture for me."

I screw up my face, and Black Beauty nudges me with her nose, looking for attention or perhaps a treat. I bring my attention back to her and pet her neck again as I think about the question. "I’m not sure. I would tell Burn that I am pregnant. And then…"

I can’t figure out what comes next. The idea of planning my life out is overwhelming for me. I have worked for years to get to where I am, though it may not seem like much to some people.

She stands on her tiptoes, looking at me over the horse's back. "Hey, you know that I am on your side, right?"

I blush and brush back a strand of my hair. "I know. Thanks for reminding me. I’m just out of sorts. And…" I purse my lips. "I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I am growing a whole person inside my body. That part isn’t quite real to me yet."

"Well, at least you know that you have a choice to make. When you have no choices, things are often more desperate and harder than they otherwise would be. At least Dare has a plan. That’s more than anyone else has. Plus, whether you choose to tell Burn you’re pregnant or accept Dare’s proposal, you know that they are exactly your type."

I snort. "My type? How can I have a type? I’ve only ever had sex once."

She walks around the horse’s head, her brows raised. "All the guys you had crushes on as a teenager and all the movie actors that you think are dreamy all look exactly like Burn and Dare. I’m sorry to say it, but you have a physical type that can’t be denied."

"Olivia..." I protest.

She puts up a flat hand, palm out, stopping me from saying anymore. "If it wasn’t true, we would not even be having this conversation. In fact, you wouldn’t be pregnant."

I shoot her a glare and head out of the stall.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"To watch Gina give her lesson," I announce as I sweep through the barn. Olivia follows me with a sulky look on her face.

Usually, we avoid watching the private lessons that Gina teaches. As long as I’ve known Olivia, her expression has grown sour each and every time that the topic has come up. Part of me thinks that she just resents the fact that neither of our families could ever afford anything so expensive.

Still, I head out to sit on the bench near the white picket fence that shapes the ring. Olivia plops down beside me, warily watching the figures move around the riding area.

Gina is standing next to a middle-school-aged girl, her kinky hair poking out from beneath her bright yellow T-shirt and lightweight Gucci jacket, which complements her glowing chestnut skin. The little girl grips the reins of her brown mare tightly, her face strained. Gina’s voice rings out, her words muffled by her distance from where we sit. It’s obvious that she gives the girl words of support and tips for more comfortable riding. The girl nudges her horse forward.

Olive leans in closer, her voice barely audible. “You see that little girl? That could be your daughter, Talia."

I look down, scraping some dirt with the toe of my boot. "I don’t even know that I’m going to have a daughter. It could be a son."

"Okay, so your son could like horseback riding. What’s your point?"

Olive slides over beside me, grabbing my hand and squeezing. I look up and into her intent gaze.

"Talia, you can provide more for your baby than you ever had in your own childhood if you choose to have Dare’s child instead of just being a parent on your own. You know I only want the best for you. And that carries over to your baby, whom I will love and am very excited to meet. You two are my only concern."

I pull her into a tight hug, my eyes misting over. "I know. You’re just looking out for me. I’m really glad that I have you as my best friend, Olivia."

We sit and chat for a while longer as we watch Gina’s lesson progress. Then Olivia says she needs to head back to town to attend a meeting at work for her entire lab, and she can’t be late to that.

I hug her goodbye at the curb outside the bookstore; she gives me a small wave and tells me that everything will be okay before she departs.

As I turn around and walk toward the bookstore, I see something out of place in the front window. At first, I think that it is an optical illusion of some sort. Aunt Minnie has gone overboard more than a few times when it comes to this front window.

But as I step closer, I spot Aunt Minnie on her hands and knees, picking up pieces of jagged glass from the floor. The display window has been completely smashed in on one side, leaving a gaping hole where someone grabbed every book that they could get their hands on.

My heart jumps into my throat. I rush inside, now that I can see the damage clearly. Not only has the front window been smashed, but the whole shop is in disarray, with reading chairs overturned, books and bookshelves on the floor, and all the piles of books kicked or pushed onto the floor.

"Aunt Minnie!" I shout. My hands fly up to my mouth. "Oh, my God! Are you okay?"

Rushing over to where she is still kneeling, I carefully help her to her feet. She has a broom and a dustpan in her hands, and she looks at me with a tearful expression. Her gray hair is wild and wiry, and her long, dark purple caftan is rumpled.

"I’m afraid they got away with everything in the cash register," she says. She wipes at her eyes. "Two men, wearing ski masks. They…"

"Wait, wait…" I say, shaking my head. "You saw them? Are you okay? What the hell happened?"

Minnie looks at me and then sets the broom and dustpan against the wall.

She rubs her hands over her face while shaking her head. "I don’t know. They were big guys. And they said that they wanted the money that I owe for the store. I’m confused, because I don’t think that my friend who loaned me the money has even called in my debts yet. I was under the impression that I had another month or two to come up with some of the money. But these guys knew about what I owed. When I couldn’t give them anything, they started tearing the whole store apart and smashing the front window. They said that if I don’t have anything for them when they come back in a week, they are going to break my bones."

Aunt Minnie looks at me, her face full of fear but trying to hold back her cascade of tears.

Her story fills me with so many emotions. The roar of blood pumping in my ears is so loud I can’t hear her any longer. This is my absolute nightmare.

"Oh, Aunt Minnie!" Beckoning to her, I gather her in my arms and give her a tight hug. She begins to sob in my arms, apologizing profusely for having gotten herself into this mess. I let her cry for a couple of minutes, running my hand over her back and gently rocking her.

"It will be okay. Trust me, it’ll all be okay."

"How can it be? She cries. Oh, Talia. I’ve really gotten myself into something that is too big for me to handle. What do I even do? Do I go to the police?"

I swallow, thinking of the money that Dare had offered me as part of his proposal. It’s still insulting and unromantic. But now that it could save Minnie’s life?

I’m starting to think that I should accept it and pay off her creditors. If I could save Minnie, her bookstore, and her home and give the leftover money to Hope House, that would be money well spent, as far as I’m concerned.

I rock Minnie back and forth, looking out the window toward the horizon.

I am done going over my options. I know what I need to do.