Timeless

CHAPTER 10

1938

T he moment the baby had been born and her mother had told her that it was a boy, Deb had breathed a sigh of relief. She’d been in excruciating pain, so the relief hadn’t lasted all that long, but having her son in her arms had made all that pain to get him there worth it. They’d named him John Paul, which was a combination of his father’s name and his grandfather’s name, her own father, who had been happier that Deb had had a boy because that meant there was a male to carry on the now-joined family farms more than because he had a grandson. She wouldn’t put any kind of pressure on him to be the future of the family, though. John David would when he got older, but that would be years from now, and she had time to worry about that then. Deb was just happy that she’d had a healthy baby and that there hadn’t been any complications with his birth.

“Now, you can get to workin’ on your second one,” her mother had said practically minutes after John Paul, whom they’d decided to call Paul, had been born. “You’ll rest up for a few weeks, of course – that part’s important – but now that you’ve got one, you’ll want to start working on number two. Never can tell what might happen when you only have one.”

“Mama!” she’d yelled at her mother, causing Paul to wake in her arms and start crying.

“What? You know how many people we lost in that influenza. Well, you were young, but you still know. And I’m not saying I want that to happen to Little John here, but it could, so when you’re ready, you and Big John will need to get back to it. It took you so long to have this little one; we were all worried that something was wrong with you.”

“Yes, I know, Mama,” she’d replied through gritted teeth, having heard all about how there might be something wrong with her and having to try all the so-called remedies for issues getting pregnant.

Deb had also been upset because she’d told her parents that if it was a boy, they were going to name him John Paul but call him Paul, but her mother had insisted on calling him Little John and his father Big John, which neither she nor John David liked.

“He shouldn’t see you like this just yet. You’ll want to rest a few and then get yourself straightened up a bit before he comes in to see you and the baby. And try to get Little John quieted down, if you can. You want your husband to at least like the child.”

“Can I see him?”

Deb looked up at the door and saw Harriet standing there, looking hopeful and concerned at the same time.

“Can you get him to quiet down before we let his father up to see him?” Deb’s mother had asked before she climbed out of the bed where Deb had had her son not all that long ago.

“I don’t know,” Harriet had replied.

The bed had been cleaned up, but Deb certainly hadn’t been, and Paul was now wailing as if he were in pain when he was probably just hungry or confused.

Harriet had been an amazing support to Deb all those months she’d been pregnant. She’d been distant at first, after Deb had told her, but Deb had understood why. Harriet had been distant from the night Deb and John David had had to try to get pregnant the first time. Deb wasn’t upset with her, but she’d missed her terribly. When she’d finally found out that she was pregnant after their second and, hopefully, final attempt, Harriet had been both happy and sad. She’d been happy because that meant that John David wouldn’t have to touch Deb again, or at least, they both really hoped for that to be the case. Harriet had also been sad, though, because she’d known that it had meant that Deb would be having a baby soon. Once her initial pain and worry had dimmed a little, though, she’d returned to Deb’s life full force and had been acting like herself again. They’d also made love more often in the early days of Deb’s pregnancy before slowing and then stopping altogether toward the end when Deb hadn’t been interested in moving at all, feeling like she’d been as big as a house and unattractive. Harriet had been there to remind her that she loved her and that she’d always find her beautiful.

“I’m goin’ downstairs to get supper going since you’re not going to be able to cook tonight,” her mother had said. “Harriet, you let us know when she’s decent enough for John David to come up.”

“Okay,” Harriet had replied, still staring into Deb’s eyes. “You’re beautiful,” she’d added once Deb’s mother was gone and the door had been closed behind her.

“Come here, please.”

Harriet had hurried over to her side and hesitantly sat down on the bed beside her.

“Do you want to hold him?”

“Should I? JD should be the first one to hold him other than you.”

“No, it should be you . You’re his other mama. JD knows that,” she’d replied.

Harriet had smiled, looking down at the baby. Then, she’d held out her arms, and Deb had moved Paul over into them. Within seconds, he’d stopped crying, and they’d stayed like that, with one of Harriet’s arms around her shoulders and the other one holding Paul. The baby had fallen back asleep, and Deb, safe in Harriet’s arms, had done the same.

That had been three months ago, and they’d been the hardest, best, and worst three months of her life. Now that there was a baby in the house, everyone wanted to visit. Her mother wanted to help take care of him, sometimes spending all day at the house, giving John David no time to be with Jacob and her no private time with Harriet, either. The first month had been the worst, and all she wanted had been to hold her son, take him on walks with Harriet, and let them both watch him fall asleep. The second month, people had finally stopped showing up every day, but then the questions about them having another one had started, and on top of that, Paul hadn’t slept at all for a few nights. Now, in his third month, her mother was still around most days, but only to help with a little cleaning and some cooking. Then, she’d go home.

In recent weeks, John David and Jacob had taken to spending time in one of the barns, but Deb had to take care of Paul and couldn’t just leave him in the house to go make love to her wife whenever she wanted. One evening, she sat on the front porch in the rocking chair that John David had made for her, with Paul suckling at her breast greedily, her little growing boy, and she saw the love of her life walking out of the cornfield, which meant she’d taken the long way to get to Deb. Harriet held a flower in her hands, and Deb knew it was for her. Something washed over her then, too. It was an odd sensation, like she’d been here before, lived this moment, or, at least, one close to it. Deb didn’t have time to think too hard about it, though, because Harriet was on the steps, heading toward her.

“You look nice,” she said of Harriet’s floral print dress. “Is that new?”

“I got it in town yesterday. It’s new to me, at least. The thrift store had it for cheap.”

“Well, what’s the occasion?”

“You and me,” Harriet said. “We’re going on a date.”

“We are?” she asked with a little laugh.

“Where’s JD?”

“In the house, fiddling with the radio his mama got us last month. It broke the other day.”

“And is Paul done eating?” Harriet asked.

Deb looked down to check her son, who’d fallen asleep without her noticing, and said, “I suppose so.”

“JD, get your butt out here and take care of your boy,” Harriet yelled .

“Harriet!” Deb laughed.

“What’s going on out here?” John David asked, carrying a screwdriver with him.

“You’re supposed to be taking care of Paul so that Deb and I can have a date. We arranged it, JD.”

“I know that. I was just about to come out. You’re early.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to be late now, was I?”

“Is he okay?” John David asked, looking down at Paul.

“He’s asleep. Can you get him to bed for me?”

“I can do that,” he said.

She situated Paul in John David’s arms and watched as he looked away while she covered her bare breast with her dress.

“I should go change,” she said as she stood.

“You’re perfect,” Harriet replied and handed her the flower she’d brought.

“I should at least put this in water.”

“I can do that for you,” John David offered and took the flower from her. “Go, have your time together. Not like I’m going to have a night with Jacob anytime soon.”

“Three kids at home now…” Harriet said, shaking her head.

“Will you two cover for me around here one day next week, though, so he and I can get away for a bit?”

“Of course,” Deb replied before she squeezed John David’s hand and leaned down to kiss Paul’s little head. “I love you,” she whispered to her son.

“Go on now. Have fun. Father and son will be just fine without you.”

“Oh, yeah? You can feed him yourself?” Harriet teased.

“Harriet, come on now,” Deb admonished through her laughter before she pulled on Harriet’s hand, using the night to shield the fact that she entwined their fingers until they were walking in the woods at Harriet’s direction.

No one would be hunting or fishing at night, so they had the place to themselves.

“Do you ever feel like maybe we’ve done this all before?” she asked when Harriet pointed to the blanket she’d laid out by the river, with a lantern glowing next to it, highlighting the basket of food she’d placed next to the blanket and the river behind it all.

“What do you mean?” Harriet asked back.

Deb sat down on the blanket and waited for Harriet to sit down behind her how she knew she would, wrapping Deb up in her arms and kissing her neck.

“When you walked up to the house, it just came over me. It felt like we’d done this all before.”

“Well, we have. I walk that way all the time to see you.”

“I know. But this time, it was different,” Deb shared.

“How so?” Harriet asked as she reached for the button between Deb’s breasts.

Deb laughed and said, “You still want to do that after you just watched my son eat off of these heavy things?”

Harriet placed another kiss on her neck and replied, “I know they’re sensitive, so I’ll be gentle, but yes. I will always want to touch you. I thought you knew that by now. Do you not want to? It’s been–”

“Months,” she interrupted.

“I know before you had Paul, it was hard. Then, you had Paul, so you needed to heal. People also wouldn’t leave you alone, but I thought that tonight, we could…”

“I want to,” she replied when Harriet faded.

“But?”

“No but. I want to.” Deb turned in Harriet’s arms and began unbuttoning her own dress. “I’m just a little nervous.”

“Why?” Harriet asked, reaching for and helping Deb with her buttons.

“I don’t know. What if you don’t like my body now that I’ve had a baby? You know it doesn’t look the same.”

In response, Harriet just silently pulled Deb’s dress apart in the middle, revealing the breasts she’d only seen recently with Paul attached to them. Then, she let the dress fall to Deb’s knees, leaving her only in her underwear, the kind that wasn’t exactly flattering, the kind her mother called knickers. Harriet licked her lips, though, and leaned in, kissing Deb between her breasts.

“Let me make love to you to show you how much I still love your body, how much I still love you , want you all the time, need you all the time. Let me, please.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” Deb said, cupping Harriet’s cheeks and raising her face so she could connect their eyes. “I hate that we can’t just be together, raise Paul together as his parents, and be married in the eyes of God and everyone else instead of just to you and me.”

“I know. I hate it, too. But we have this. My pa passed last year. Mama has barely moved since. And my brothers say it’s fine that I live in the house because none of them care if I ever get married or want to find me a husband. We’re lucky, aren’t we, in a way? I get to be Paul’s mama in my own way. Jacob gets to be his other papa, even though he has a whole mess of kids at home, too. And JD lets us have tonight and doesn’t expect anything from you other than to pretend to be his wife, which you can do because it means we get to have this.” Harriet lowered her face again, kissing between Deb’s breasts once more. “So, will you lie down now? I want to touch you everywhere.”

And she did. Harriet spent hours kissing, licking, and stroking Deb’s skin, making her feel whole again, wanted, and needed in a way Deb hadn’t felt since the last time they’d done this, which seemed like so long ago. When Harriet lowered her mouth between Deb’s legs, Deb thought back to the first time they’d done that after months of hesitant stroking and pushing gently inside to try to find the spots that would bring one another pleasure.

“You know Willie Mae at the tavern?” Harriet had asked her that night in pretty much the same spot they were in now.

“Yeah. Why were you at that tavern, Harriet Louise?”

“Pa asked me to drop something off for him. Anyway, the other night, when I was there, she was telling some boys about a man she met in the city. I overheard her talking about how that man did something to her. The boys all thought it was nasty or something, but I didn’t.”

“What did he do?” she’d asked, concerned as to what it might be.

“He used his mouth down there,” Harriet had replied.

“Oh,” Deb had said.

The way her mother had talked to her about sex had been very specific and also very brief. Deb was supposed to just lie there and let her future husband do what he wanted whenever he wanted. That was it. They’d never talked about what he would do besides that. Maybe a few other things had been mentioned to her in passing, but certainly, nothing that had her wanting to experience any of it. What Harriet had said as she’d kissed down Deb’s stomach, though, had her wet between her thighs in a way she hadn’t been before.

“Would you like that?” Harriet had asked.

“I don’t know,” she’d said honestly. “You mean, you’d kiss me there?”

“I mean, we could figure it out together, but I’d like to try it.” Harriet had lowered her body down farther and kissed Deb’s thigh.

“Okay,” she’d replied then.

Tonight, though, Harriet didn’t ask because she didn’t need to ask anymore. She knew exactly what Deb liked, what she didn’t like, how to bring her pleasure quickly when they needed to rush, and how to bring her pleasure slowly when they had time.

After they were both sated for a while, Deb held Harriet against her body for warmth as the night air had chilled, and she looked up at the stars in the sky.

“Sometimes, I wonder,” she said softly into the night.

“About what?” Harriet asked.

“If maybe we’re two people out of time and place.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we weren’t meant to be here at all. We don’t fit in, do we? Maybe in another time, we would have somewhere else.”

“But what if we weren’t together there?” Harriet asked .

“Well, if that’s the case, I never want to leave here.” She kissed Harriet’s forehead. “We should get dressed, my love. It’s getting cold.”

“A few more minutes,” Harriet requested, snuggling in closer.

“A few more minutes,” Deb agreed and wrapped her up tighter.