Tis The Season for Secrets (Village of Yule #2)

20. Juliet

J uliet slept for a few hours, but given the time difference between Yule and home, she woke up early with her head still full of questions. Turning it all over in her head, she came to a sudden decision and slipped out of Will’s arms in search of information about her mom’s whereabouts. Lyla had shown her the Klaus family office during her tour, and she couldn’t stop thinking about the answers it might hold. It didn’t help that it was only a few doors down the hall from the guest bedroom. One conversation with Eloise – that was all she needed. And if she could find an address book…

“You’re up early,” Mrs Klaus said ten minutes later, standing in the doorway of the office.

Juliet froze, caught red-handed with the address book in her hand.

“I just wanted…” She faltered, unable to think of an excuse fast enough, and put down the book, embarrassed and ashamed at her break of trust and privacy. Part of her berated herself. You need to get better at sneaking around. So far, you suck at it.

“You were hoping to find out more about your mum. Judging from Lyla’s wellies and Will’s coat, you were going to try find her?” Mrs Klaus stepped into the room and flicked on the overhead light. Juliet had only dared to turn on the small desk lamp.

Her words cut like an icicle, and Juliet couldn’t find a lie fast enough.

“Don’t look so frightened. I haven’t mentioned who you are to my son. I’ve known who you were the moment I saw you.” There was no anger in Mrs Klaus’s wrinkled eyes, only concern.

Juliet’s words stuck in her throat.

“Juliet, you don’t have to lie. You’re the spitting image of your mum at this age.” Mrs Klaus offered her a reassuring smile, which slightly lessened her desire to plead for mercy. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as the weight of discovery lifted from her shoulders.

“I didn’t want to lie to you,” she blurted out, “but I didn’t want Will to lose his job because of me. Please don’t tell Will or the others that you know. I just wanted to meet my mom before anyone got in trouble. Will told me to wait, but after the kindness everyone has shown me, the guilt is eating me up.” She walked around the desk, leaving the address book behind.

“Juliet, take a breath.” Mrs Klaus took her hand. “You aren’t in trouble– not right now, anyway. However, we do have some things to work out, and I need to feed the reindeer before they get cranky. I think some fresh air will do you some good.” She motioned for Juliet to join her. Unable to say no, Juliet stepped into the hall, but she noticed that Mrs Klaus’s gaze lingered on the empty desk across from the one she’d searched. There was a longing in the older woman’s gaze she recognised – it was the same she’d felt when she’d looked over the letters in the chest.

“Thank you for not outing me and Will. I really didn’t intend to cause trouble. I’ve been warned about the memory removal thing, and I’ve got no plans on telling anyone about Yule.”

“I have no doubt that none of this is your doing, and don’t worry about causing trouble. I’ve seen plenty over the years, and I can see how much you care about Will. This morning can be our little secret,” Mrs Klaus reassured her.

Lyla’s wellies were a little big, which made it a struggle to trudge through the fresh layer of morning snow. Thankfully, Will’s coat reached her knees, keeping her extra cosy. Juliet followed Mrs Klaus to the stables, relieved to find there wasn’t a tribunal or shallow grave waiting for her amongst the stalls.

“I figured you would want to talk away from the others.” Mrs Klaus started, walking into the stables. A reindeer with the name tag Dixon bobbed her head over the stable door, surprising Juliet. “I spoke to Eloise about your arrival on the phone last night, and she dropped something off for you this morning.”

“What? Why didn’t she see me? Why didn’t you tell me she was here?” Juliet asked. Dixon nudged her shoulder when she stopped rubbing her nose.

“It’s not the right time yet, though she does desperately want to see you. Please don’t underestimate how hard this is for her, as I’m sure it is for you,” Mrs Klaus said, handing her a red envelope from her bright yellow padded coat.

Juliet stared at the envelope; it was the first one she’d read addressed to her alone. Present tense. Conflicting emotions rushed through her.

“I appreciate you giving me this, but I really wish I could’ve seen her,” she confessed. “I can’t ask a letter a question, and being drip-fed information is driving me crazy!” And she’d had enough of envelopes to last a lifetime.

“I can understand that your patience is wearing thin, but Eloise didn’t want to overwhelm you by just turning up. She wanted to prepare you first.”

Juliet sighed, her breath visible in the air. “She was probably right; I don’t know what I’ve have done if she just appeared in front of everyone. I wouldn’t want to put Mason in a bad position with the council.” She didn’t want Mrs Klaus to think she wasn’t grateful for her help – not when she could’ve sent Eloise away, and turned Juliet and Will in.

“You need to save some of that care and worry for yourself. We all make our own decisions. I spoke to Lyla when you and Will went to bed. Given that you’d already met, I figured she knew more than she was letting on. I told her I knew who you were, and she told me she supports you. As do I.” Mrs Klaus calmly moved down the row of sleepy reindeer, giving them their breakfast. “What you decide to do with that letter and the chest is up to you. You can close the door on Yule with no questions asked, as is the choice given to every legacy.”

“But those legacies haven’t been banished.” Juliet followed Mrs Klaus to the stable doors as the sound of crunching carrots echoed behind them.

“If you want Yule to be a part of your future, I’m sure we can help you find a way. No one else’s opinion or desires matter– not mine or your mum’s or, even if you care for him deeply, Will’s. This is your life.”

Reaching the front porch, Juliet looked at her name written in her mom’s writing for the first time. She didn’t even know if her mom had been the one to pick her name. Had it been her dad?

“I’ll give you some time. Breakfast will be inside whenever you’re ready to come in,” Mrs Klaus said, leaving her on the porch swing.

Once the door clicked shut, she tore open the envelope. Taking a deep breath, she unfolded the thick paper.

Juliet,

I’m so sorry. I wish that was enough, but I know it isn’t. I’m a coward for not speaking to you in person. To know you’re in Yule has brought me so much joy that I dare to selfishly hope we will be reunited soon. I know this must be all a terrible shock to you, but I hope you’ll forgive me for putting you through all this. There’s nothing more that I want than to come to you right now, but it’s not time yet. I wanted you have something from me personally. For you to hear our story from me.

There is one thing especially I want to tell you, so that you know without a shadow of a doubt how much I love you. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I couldn’t have been happier. Your father and I were going to go to the council of Yule together and tell them everything.

However, your grandfather found out and reported us to the council before we got the chance. I was escorted back to Yule, and they wouldn’t let me talk to your father or leave the village. My family were enraged by what I’d done, the shame I’d brought to our family. You come from a long line of those who have protected Yule and their descendants, and my love for someone from the family who tried to expose our world was the ultimate betrayal.

I was so young, only twenty-one– not that my age is an excuse. Watching over the Frost family was my first assignment, and I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have. That being said, I want need you to know how much it tore me apart to give you up. But I thought you deserved a life away from shame. I feared what it would be like for you to be raised in Yule, given the stigma that comes with the Frost name. I truly believed in my heart that you would be better off.

Once you were born, you were brought to the Frost family. I held you for only three hours before you were taken from my arms. I thought it would kill me, but I hoped and prayed that in time, I would get to see you again.

The tear-stained letter told Juliet that it had been as hard for her mom to write as it was for her to read. She couldn’t believe the world could be so cruel as to take a newborn from her mother’s arms. She rationalised that it had been a different time, but still, an anger she’d never known before gripped her heart.

The council decided that the only way for me to remain in Yule and maintain my position with the guardians was to be stripped of my Outside guardian rank. I wasn’t allowed to leave Yule, and forbidden from making any contact with you or the Frost family. I can only hope that the legacy laws will play in our favour and that we can be reunited. Not a day has gone by that I don’t regret my decision to give you up. It kills me to know you’re so close and I can’t see you. Mrs Klaus told me how kind and beautiful you are. I hope you can forgive me. I’ve enclosed the last letter your father sent me, because I need you to know how much we loved each other and how wanted you were. Are.

Mum x

I hope very much that you will allow me to earn this title in time x

Juliet forced herself to start the next letter before she crumbled completely; she wasn’t sure how much longer she had to herself before the rest of the house woke up. Her dad’s writing was faded, as though the letter had been read repeatedly.

My love,

There is so much I need to say to you, but no words will describe how my heart aches. I wish you hadn’t left us. I promised you that I’d find a way for us to be together, but I fear my father and the council have got to you. Whatever he promised you, or threatened you with, we can figure it out. I know you love me, and I won’t accept your last letter. Even if you can leave me for your oath to Yule, I can’t believe you can leave our girl. She is so like you, and I swear she scrunches her nose just as you do when you’re upset. She won’t sleep at night unless I hold her tiny hand, and I’ve named her Juliet after your favourite play.

I know how much you love her, and I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to be without her. To hold her is my greatest joy and sorrow, but even if it’s a day, a week, or five years, we will be waiting for you to be a family again.

I don’t even know if this letter will reach you. Please come back to us – we can have a new life away from the past. We can forget about oaths, names, fortunes and find our own world to disappear into. Please, Eloise, I beg you to come home and marry me. Let us be a family. I know sacrificing Yule would mean sacrificing your home, your family, but we can build our own. We can start again, just us three. Please. I love you.

I’ve attached a polaroid of Juliet with her favourite toy. She won’t let the pink duck my dad got her out of her sight.

Forever yours,

J x

Numb, Juliet sat on the porch and set the letters down beside her. She couldn’t even feel the cold. If she hadn’t recognised the handwriting, she would have believed her father’s letter had been written by a perfect stranger. She’d never seen this side of him – never known him to beg for anything or anyone. His heartbreak echoed in his words. How could her mom have read this and held strong?

Maybe this heartbreak is what froze his heart for good. She couldn’t remember him ever speaking to Gillian this way, or even telling her he loved her. Then again, she realised her dad had kept his promise; he’d waited those five years. Thinking back, she couldn’t remember if she’d been six or seven the first time she’d met Gillian.

Juliet knew Mrs Klaus had passed this letter on to satisfy her curiosity for a time, but it only fuelled her desire to meet Eloise. Resting her head in her hands, she remembered the green Post-It note in her pocket . Mom’s address. When Mrs Klaus had caught her with the address book, she’d already copied it out.

Over her shoulder, she stared at the front door. She knew she should go back, have breakfast, and hear more embarrassing stories about Will. Or… if she followed those ridiculously cute candy-striped lampposts, they would lead her to a sleigh rank, and she could ask her mom why she’d decided to stay when her father had wanted to build a new life with her.