To Defend A Bride (Entangled with the Enduar #3)

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

MELISA

H eat courses through my body. The pressure between my legs is the sweetest torture. A hand skirts over my sensitive flesh, making me impossibly wetter.

A finger skims over the sweet spot at the apex of my thighs.

I really need to tell Ra’Sa to stop or I’m going to break my only rule. But the fire coursing under my skin only makes me want to lean into the sensation.

When I open my eyes, Ra'Sa is under me. He looks up at me with such intense abandon and his fingers thread through mine. He's large, but not to the point of awful pain. Gentle, but rough when his passions take over.

This was right. This was good.

When I move my hips, sweet friction from his cock causes my center to hum with pleasure. Tension is building that I've never felt while riding a partner.

Not the first time a man took me in the breeding pens, and certainly never with Eneko. This is something more intimate than sex—this is release.

He lets go of my hands, and his tail wraps around my wrists. Pinning them behind me.

Ra'Sa hitches up his hips, meeting my movements with an alarming focus. My head falls back as the friction of his body against that small bundle of nerves causes insistent, sweet ripples of pleasure to pull across my skin. I feel like I’m going to fall.

Fall into him.

Fall for him.

No.

The insistent voice causes me to wake. Sweat clings to my brow, and I can feel the slickness between my thighs when I shift.

Fuck.

From the ebbing ache between my thighs and the frustration knotted in my chest, it seems that I stopped, quite literally, just in time.

I look at Ra’Sa over my shoulder, heart pounding and mind racing.I want to go to him.

Again, no.

When my mind finally clears from my intense wet dream, the reality of life crashes down once again.

We’ll arrive at Zlosa tomorrow.

And I… I can’t stop thinking about him. I’d thought all hope was lost after he told me he wasn’t interested if we weren’t mated, but he’s changed on the trek.

He held me last night.

Tightly. Sweetly.

And now, I lie next to him. He is close enough to roll over and straddle. If he’s started to change his opinion about mates—about me—then I risk everything by not solidifying this relationship before we set foot on giant soil.

I pull out the small gem that Estela gave me before we left. I admire its red color in the faint spell like Ra’Sa cast. Some grow to hate the color they wear as a comfort woman, but I don’t. Red is pleasing.Lucky.

My fist closes around the stone, and my eyelids shut. The image of Ra’Sa holding me after my attack passes over the back of my eyes with excruciating detail. I feel the way his arms wrapped around me.

A flush creeps up my skin.

His care is gentle.

I see my dream again, riding him within an inch of either of our lives. The heat that had come over me was as exquisite as any night I’d gone to my bed and taken care of myself.

Mierda .? 1

I take another deep breath, and my hand brushes down my soft belly. Nine months after the breeding pens, I wrapped my midsection and went to the farms to help prepare animals for the slaughterhouse. It was miserable. But, in time, a giant came looking for someone to warm his bed.

Eneko.

He passed by me every day for a week, and then guards showed up at Griselda’s house to take me away.

Griselda hated me for going willingly, but by not fighting back and controlling my emotions, I secured a measure of safety for three years. Making the choice to save my family helped me live with myself.

Ra'Sa had been right about something he said yesterday—that the attacks lessen when I feel like I'm in control.

Now, I'm in this tent with this Enduar man. I chose him for logical reasons, but my heart flutters at the nearness.

“You belong to no one.”

He doesn't understand that for a woman, belonging to a man is often the only way to have some semblance of safety. And for me, a person prone to falling apart when the world spins out, controlling this would be better than not.

I’d like to belong to him. But the rules still apply.

My eyes close to block out the images, but my mouth is dry, and my skin is oversensitive.

I breathe in and out.

The space between my legs throbs.

I open my eyes and grit my teeth. This problem must be resolved.

It’s too cold to go outside, and the tent is small.

What would he do if he woke up and found me like this?

Goosebumps cover my body.

Maybe if I get this out of my system first, it won’t mean anything. If I act before letting my lust consume me, my head will clear. I will cement our relationship while keeping some perspective.

Restless, I roll over and look at the large sleeping form on the other side of the tent, pretending not to notice how my heart picks up in speed.

This is just business. Just me ensuring my future.

Slowly, I bring myself to my knees and lean over him. I pause, my hand connecting with his large bicep.

I can’t help but appreciate the difference between my average-sized hand and his large shoulder. With Eneko, I’ve always felt too small. Too breakable.

But with Ra’Sa, I am just… delicate.

I ignore how much I enjoy that. Instead, I stroke my hand to his wrist.

“Ra’Sa.”

He stirs, and I watch as he shifts onto his back.

“I can’t sleep,” I say.

His eyes fly open, and he bolts upright. Our tent isn’t big, so he almost knocks it all over with his quick action.

I put another hand on him just as he says, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Ignoring yet another blatant sign of care, I fall into his lap and position my legs on either side of his hips.

He stiffens beneath me, but I keep both hands on his shoulders and look up at him, biting my lip and softening my expression. The movements come easy—I’ve done them at least a hundred times.

“Melisa, what is this?” he asks, but his voice grows deep and soft in a way I haven’t heard before.

It eases something inside of me, settling like sand at the bottom of a river.

“Like I said, I couldn’t sleep.”

“So you’ve come to me? How can I help with that?” he asks, and the sound of his voice washes over me in soothing waves.

Men are easy to mold. You don’t need to lie to them to make them love you. If they care for you enough, they will lie to themselves.

My fingers trail down his arm, and he blinks before releasing my waist and reaching over to grab my wrist. I gasp at his warm hand against my skin.

He breathes deeply, nostrils flaring.“Melisa. What is this? ”

My chest rises and falls between us, breasts just barely brushing his chest. I swallow, trying to return moisture to my mouth. My body is eager, but my mind is wary.

Go on, Meli. Kiss him. Use your tongue. Be the whore you are. He’ll like it, and you’ll stop dreaming about this.

And so I lean in.

When my lips brush his, they are stiff. Frustrated, I brush my tongue over the seam of his mouth. It catches him off guard, and he parts his lips for me.

I kiss him harder, pouring every trick I have into the action. My hand trails over his shoulder and down his spine as best I can—light touches meant to drive him wild.

Then I bite him once.

The evidence of his arousal pushes up against my ass, but he doesn’t grab me. If this were Eneko, he would throw me down, taking this as enough of a hint to fuck me, and do as he pleases.

Ra’Sa waits.

Growing angry, I pull back.

His mouth remains slightly puckered as the gem in his chest glows and his eyes open.

“Melisa,” he says gently.

I shake my head. He just told me he cared for me, but he does not act like a man who desires a woman. He needs to want me.

“If you do not want me, I will leave you be,” I say crossly, fully pulling back.

“Wait,” he calls out, reaching for my face.

Good. Let him chase you.

When I extricate myself from his lap, I fall backward and roll over. Pain spreads through my side, and I cry out.

“Maldita sea,” ? 2 I curse.

Large hands scoop me up, and a brighter spell light glows to life above us. Ra’Sa looks down at me with wide eyes and a slightly parted mouth.

“Shit. Don’t move,” he says.

“Don’t touch me,” I bite out when his hand reaches toward me.

My brain is foggy, stuck in a place where I’m more instinct than sensation. I hurt. I don’t need him making it worse.

His hand retreats like lightning, and I swallow hard.

“Forgive me. I merely wished to help care for the wound,” he sputters.

When I look down, I see a nasty gash caused by the stone dagger I’d left near my bedroll. Blood soaks into my dress.

I’d been careless.

“Fuck,” I sputter. “There’s so much blood.”

“May I? I will move slowly,” he coaxes.

My hand presses to the bleeding wound as I pant.

“I did this to myself. You don’t have to fix me,” I say through gritted teeth.

Ra’Sa’s nostrils flare in the dim light. “Melisa, please.”

That word. It causes a crack to bloom up the walls to my heart. I sigh and angle my body so that he can approach.

“If you must.”

Ra’Sa doesn’t speak as he nears. Just slowly lays his hand on my ribcage so that he can see the wound better. I hiss as his thumb prods at it.

“Gentle,” I growl.

He makes a clicking sound with his tongue.

“You do like to goad me, don’t you?” he says at last. “Remember, I’m helping.”

My mouth opens and then closes. He’s not wrong.

Ra’Sa’s rough fingers trail up my sides. Not lightly, but not bruising, either.

“I need to get a better look at the cut. It’s quite deep.”

I sit there for a second, dumbstruck.

“If you wanted me to undress, you should've done something about it when I was in your lap. I could be naked and riding you right now," I grit out, half-goading but also trying to distract myself from the inevitable pain. He doesn’t have to know that was something I longed for in sleep.

"What is wrong with you?" he demands, letting go of my ribs and leaning away from me. "You draw me in, then push me away. Now, you wake me up and are frustrated that I didn't make love to you less than two days before we arrive in the giant territory? Before I hand you off to another man?”

I look at him, furious, as the blood dampens more of my dress.

But then his eyes widen. "Are you trying to do this?"

I inch away from him. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"You keep too many secrets wrapped up in the layers of your mind. You're playing a game," he says.

This isn’t a game—this is my life. My survival is valuable, for it sustains the two girls back in the slave pens.

"I care for you,” I say.

"But you care more about whatever game you are playing, right?" he says at last.

Something nudges me, suggesting that he might be more generous with his opinions if I tell him the truth. But that would leave me exposed. What if he changed his mind about helping me?

"You're angry with me," I murmur, unsure what else to say.

"Yes." He pauses, "No. I'm angry with myself and frustrated that I didn't see it earlier."

“Ra’Sa, I am not playing a game. I like you,” I say. I’m almost afraid of how quickly that is becoming truth.

He looks up at me. “Really?”

“Yes.”

He grows strangely silent after that.

“You know, I could help ease your frustration." I wince as I apply more pressure to the wound weeping at my side.

He frowns. “Will you stop that? Now, take off your dress. Or better yet, don’t. You only need to expose your ribs.”

I clamp my mouth shut and then allow him to assist me in removing my arms from my sleeves and pushing the dress below my breastband. The chill of the night bites at my skin, causing my nipples to pebble.

He reaches for the cloak and drapes it over my shoulders.

“Tell me if you get too cold,” he murmurs.

I swallow back another comment, and he places me atop the packs he carries, leaning me against one of them as if it were a pillow. With my back on an incline and him between my legs, I feel the heat crawl up my neck.

He sifts for a few things out of his pack, withdrawing herbs. I recognize some of them from Estela’s stash.

“Have you been taking lessons with the human queen?”

He exhales, and his warm breath skims along my bare torso. “More like with Ulla.”

Absent-mindedly, my fingers close around his wrist.

“Is it more appropriate for you to be with an Enduar woman?” Even saying the words, I know I’m grasping. But I’m angry and raw over his rejection.

He stills. “What?”

“I kiss you, and you barely react. You come with me because I ask you, but you also treat me as though I annoy you.”

He looks back up at me, and bright blue eyes pin me in place. No one has ever looked at me this way. His noble tendencies are aggravating. And yet, I don’t try to run from this moment.

“I do not wish to court Ulla, or any other Enduar woman. She is nothing more than a good friend. She is also quite a bit older than me.”

I pause. “Would you not be with an older woman?”

He growls. “If I fancied her, I would not care for her age.”

“So you do not fancy Ulla?” I say.

His nostrils flare. “Enduar women do not want me.”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

He sighs. “No, I don’t care for her like that.”

“But you desire me.”

He presses a bunch of herbs against my wound, and I squeal, letting go of his wrist.

“That was cruel,” I say.

In response, his fingers skim the underside of my breast, and I gasp.

His eyes snap back onto mine, and the moment’s intimacy strikes a chord in my chest. I’ve had men lay over me, move inside of me, and yet, this closeness… This tenderness is nothing like any of that.

The two of us are using up all the air in the small tent.

My dress falls a little lower.

His eyes drop back to my body. His fingers continue to trail over several silvery scars on either side of my belly.

Fuck, I forgot.

I hold my breath as his brow furrows. Then I place my hand over the marks caused by overstretched skin. He doesn’t need to witness all my imperfections.

He grabs my hand, exposing my bare arm.

“You have so many marks. What are all of these?” he asks, brushing his fingers over faint, slightly sunken lines up my forearm.

I grit my teeth. “Battle scars.”

He lets go of me, and his eyes find mine again.

“Battle is painful—I cannot imagine what it must have been like if you did not know how to fight. I am sorry you’ve also endured that.”

A question sits on the tip of my tongue, and I try to resist asking it. But in the end, I hear myself say, “Have you been in combat?”

He takes a deep breath, then returns to bandaging my wound.

“Aside from tonight? Yes. A few times, but always against giants and spiders. Only one encounter left a scar.”

“And that was…?” My question breaks off with a hiss. His fingers rub at the hurt, soothing the sting.

“Before you came along, I had a brother named Tirin. He was young—barely a baby when we escaped one of the surrounding cities during the Great Eruption.”

I listen intently, grateful when he continues.

“Tirin was a young hunter and what we called a ‘ Ruh’duar .’”

My eyebrows draw together while hearing him say a word in his native tongue. The way it flows from his mouth is mesmerizing.

He notices my attention and continues, “It means ‘cave born’. He did not know the ways of the old trolls.”

“What do you mean? Most of the stories I’ve heard of your people involve flesh-eating and human ravaging.”

Ra’Sa laughs bitterly. “We have never been cannibals, you strange woman. We were people of strict tradition. A cold people, but a successful one. Tirin was too eager—too optimistic.”

I bite my lip, realizing the bandage around my middle is complete. I could move away and put my clothes back on, but I do not wish to. Especially since I find I enjoy the sound of his voice.

“I don’t see how this left a scar.”

He purses his lips. “Patience, Ruh’flor .” Ra’Sa spreads his hand over my bandage, coating the wound in a delicious warmth. “When the humans came, he saw our people’s salvation. But not for himself… for me. For his quiet, brooding older brother.”

My breath catches.

“He is a good brother,” I say gently, despite realizing that he’s only used past tense verbs to refer to him.

“ Was ,” Ra’Sa grits out. “And he was beheaded by my king to save us from an attack from the giants. His head was given to the giant king to stop a war that came anyway. I raged against the heavens and cursed my gods. But in the end, I realized how I could honor his death. You see, we lost our father and sisters in the eruption. He wanted me to have a chance at what we lost.”

The story pours out of him, and I wonder if he’s ever told it to another soul.

My mouth goes dry, and every cell inside of my body goes deathly still. I don’t need to know this about him. Too personal.

“I’m… sorry,” I say softly.

“It is the only scar I bear on my soul and serves as a compass for my purpose.”

Somehow, he’s drawn close to me. I can taste his breath on my lips.

“And what is your purpose, Enduar?”

“To find a mate. And from my future matehood, I will have children.”

I pull back.

Children .

That word radiates through me like lightning. It reminds me of screams, and pain, and laying on my back alone. No one knew where I was; no one even knew that the girls would be born, save the wolf who protected me.

I hurt and bled and starved. And then I vowed, ‘Never again.’

His wanting children changes things for good.

“And what if you are mated to one of the pregnant women?” I ask, my voice a slightly higher pitch.

The Enduar looks at me, brows furrowed and confused by my distance. “I would care for the child.”

“But you would want your own?”

“Yes. Someone to name after Tirin.”

Fuck.

Ra’Sa wants… children .

I can't be pregnant. I won't ever be able to handle that again.

Ra'Sa is dangerous—far more than I ever realized.

I'd been a fool for thinking he could be swayed. I'd been a fool for thinking I could ever control any part of this. I need out. I need to get away.

I shake my head and push away. “I can’t be your mate.”

“I never asked?—”

“I can’t—I can’t.” I look up at him. “If a song sings between us, I don’t think I would accept.”

He grows defensive. “Was my kiss so repulsive?”

I swallow hard. “I—You—You don’t know how to care for humans.”

What the fuck kind of answer was that?

The damage hits him square in the chest anyway. His face falls into a grimace.

You weren’t meant to be a mother.

I’d heard that my whole life. It seems I wasn’t meant to be a mate either.

Slowly, he pushes me off of him and helps me replace the sleeves of my dress. Once I’m clothed, he stands and pushes out of the tent.

“Ra’Sa,” I call. If he leaves me alone out here, wolves could find us. Or more of those pale, red-eyed creatures. "Please. I didn't mean it like that. Forgive me?—”

“Sleep. I will be near.”