To Defend A Bride (Entangled with the Enduar #3)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

MELISA

R a’Sa moves over me again, kissing down my neck. Another cramp spasms in my lower belly, and I want to roll away from him, but he cups my cheek, holding me in place.

“Tell me what to do, Melisa,” he murmurs.

I’m wet, that much I can feel despite the blood. I ache, too, but it’s a delicious pain. One that borders on pleasure. Want.

My hips rise up to meet his, feeling the girth of his cock.

“Take me, Ra’Sa,” I demand. Greedy.

His face is intense as he pushes into my entrance. Slow.

Too slow.

I push myself onto him, feeling the sharp pain that gives way to bliss.

His eyes go wide as he stays there, fully seated inside of me. Satisfaction blooms in my chest, as exquisite as the pressure and fullness he brings.

“Move, Ra’Sa,” I murmur.

He groans as he pulls out, half way. The action is thrilling.

I’ve never talked during sex. Never told a man what to do.

“Come back.”

He slams into me, and it’s as if sparks ignite over my skin.

“Again, and move your hips from side to side,” I beg.

A new pressure, wholly unique from his length, starts to build, like sparkling wine in a bottle.

Every direction I give him is taken with unfettered enthusiasm. Out of pure madness, my hand trails down my belly between us, reaching the spot he brushes against with his soft skin. He lacks hair, unlike giants or humans, but something about the tilt of his pelvis is enough to tease.

To coax.

When I rub through the mess I’ve made, the effect is instant. He moves inside again, and I cry out.

“Ra’Sa!”

It's impossible to hold back. Impossible not to climax when he moves so perfectly.

I pant and claw at his back.

"What is this?" he asks as my back arches off the bed.

"I'm coming for you," I say slowly, quietly, as the wave crashes.

I bolt upright. Sweat causes my nightgown to cling to my skin, and I press a hand to my forehead.

My cheeks are flushed, as are my neck and chest. My breasts are sensitive and heavy.

Gods. I fell asleep.

This attraction to Ra'Sa is seeping out of my sleeping moments and into the real world. They've plagued me, waking moments that only began to peek back after kissing Ra’Sa in the woods.

After lighting one of the small lamps near my bed, I smooth my hands across my hair. There's still laundry everywhere, but at least I found space to bathe.

When I stand, preparing to go for water, my night dress scratches over my skin. The heat—the dryness in my throat—intensifies.

The scrape against my nipples feels like torture, and I gasp.

I know what I like. Years of pleasing men have left me an expert in my own body. Wanting someone else, man or woman is rare, and these emotions have only grasped me a few times since the twins were born.

Before the girls, my short affair with Seranya was nothing more than kisses, but she would say such delicious things. She taught me the art of self-love, and I was grateful for that.

It helped me make the rules.

But Ra’Sa… I’m not supposed to feel like I could unravel at any second.

An abdominal cramp has me doubling over, and all I can think is how good I imagined Ra’Sa to feel.

I see him so clearly that I can almost feel his touch. Everything is tender. Ready.

The deep wanting mingles with the throbbing pain.

My tentative grasp on reality fades, and a wave of longing washes over me.

It wasn’t the first time I’d wanted sex during my courses. Nothing quite eases the pain of menstruation like a release.An unhelpful part of my brain supplies that everything would feel better if I could just be filled to the point of breaking. I ignore it, waiting for the raging want to pass along with another cramp.

Godsdamnit .

Giant men don’t touch women in this state. I’ve heard human men are generally the same. Why would Enduares be any different?

But… he held me when I was sick and gave me his shirt when I bled.

The thought makes my eyes burn.

He doesn’t seem afraid of anything, and that makes me want him more. I want his soft blue skin sliding between my thighs.

But not yet. And not here .

I lean over the side of my bed, breathing through the disappointment.

Just lay back down.

It’ll pass.

Instead, a soft knock comes at my door.

I leap to my feet, heart racing, looking at the wooden entrance. Eneko hasn't returned, and Hibsej is decidedly ignoring me, especially after sending me out to meet with the king.

Wrapping a thin blanket around my body, I creep to the door. My hand presses to the wood just as another knock hits.

I suck in a sharp breath when the smell of Ra'Sa reaches my nose. I inhale deeply, savoring the smell of the underground mixed with freshly cut wood. Even with my human senses, I would know him anywhere.

My body rejoices while I debate opening the door.

Melisa , Ra'Sa's voice purrs through my head. It is softer than velvet and decadent as the wine in the king's castle.

I take another deep breath.

You let me into your head so easily now, he continues.

My cheeks heat. My dream. How much did he see?

Fuck.

Go away, I retort.

Melisa, please.

My eyes flutter closed. I could say goodbye, let this end.

But there’s something about the way he says my name.

I can smell your need. Feel your want. Let me in.

The way he speaks compels me, like those rumors and myths of trolls luring humans away with something akin to a siren's song.

If he wanted to, he could enter. The lock to my room is on the outside. But he asks .

My hand reaches for the handle, and I pull it open slowly.

I could imagine him standing before the door—could picture him leaning against the wood, looming over me like a starved man coveting a feast. But seeing it with my own eyes makes my skin flush with heat. The shadows on his face make him seem more feral than I pictured, and his eyes practically glow.

"W-why are you here? You should go," I stumble through my breathy, husky words.

He cocks an eyebrow. "You called me here."

I blink. "I did not."

"Melisa, I heard you say my name,” he insists.

A bolt of pleasure shoots across me, and I step out of the way.

His movements are calculated and swift. He takes up every inch of the room, sucking all of the air out of my lungs. His presence pulls me into the space between 'yes' and 'wait.'

Instead, I say, "It's a mess in here. I was given chores."

I give myself a moment to stand there waiting for whatever sweet surprise he has waiting in that purposeful look.

He falls to his knees. Those eyes haunt me, swallowing all of the surroundings and refusing to let me look away.

My chest rises. His jaw flexes, and his nostrils widen.

"You're still bleeding."

I nod, even though every man I've ever known is disgusted by such things.

“And you ache for me. I can feel it through our bond." His eyes flutter closed. Then they open and lock back onto my face. "Won't this hurt?"

My mouth parts at his boldness, and his eyes snap down to watch my lips.

“I—”

My neck goes hot.

All of the dreams, the attempts at seduction. Is this really going to be the moment when I turn shy?

"Giants and humans don't touch women when they bleed. They think us unclean."

"I'm not a giant, and I know of no hunter deterred by a bit of blood," he retorts.

"You are a stone bender."

"I can be whatever you need tonight," he says. "We have been through this—I see you. I know your thoughts. You cannot hide from me as you wish. I came because you need me."

My breath hitches, and my core hums. When he says it like this, the sense of fighting flows away. This was what I wanted—to have him so thoroughly wrapped around my finger that he'd never leave.

Reason and want war within me, but instead, I reach up and pull at the string that cinches the gown around my shoulders and keeps it from falling. As the fabric loosens and slips off of my skin, I take a deep breath.

His hand moves before his thoughts, pausing a mere second before touching me.

"May I?"

I grasp onto his hand with both of mine and press it to my breast, gasping. My skin breaks out in flames.

He growls and pulls me onto his lap, burying his nose into the side of my neck. He inhales deeply and then lets out a satisfied noise.

“Will you let your mate claim you?” his voice thrums.

I freeze. Will I?

All the time I spent fighting for this moment, and now I'm unsure? Men don't like rejection.

"Y-yes."

"I hear the doubt in your voice. You cannot pretend for me as you have for others," he murmurs, his lips tracing maddening shapes across my throat. "Tell me your thoughts since you refuse to speak them to my mind."

This time, my words come quickly.

"You rejected me before. And now you want me because I am your mate. But I worry... you don't understand what it is to take on someone like me."

He pulls back, fingers skimming across my waist.

"That's not true. I was called to you before the bond opened between us," he says gently.

I cup his face. "I pursued you, not the other way around."

His brown eyes slowly shift into the blue ones I've come to adore. He places his hand over mine.

"Perhaps you pursued me, but I followed. I followed you into enemy territory and have thought of you every day. When I heard you in my head, it was as natural as breathing. I'm not one to give speeches, but I will speak for as long as it takes to convince you."

My breath catches. Did he know how desperately I wanted to hear something like that? If he were to take me now, I don't even know what it would be like.

I've never been so ready for sex, never wanted my partner as much as I desire him. But… when he fills me with his cock, and kisses me with his eager mouth, will I resist the divine magic between us?

“You told me that you felt stupid for saying you wouldn’t care for a woman’s previous daughters, but my secrets don’t end there,” I start.

His brows furrow, but he waits.

“I don’t want to be pregnant again,” I say, letting the words out into the world. It had been so difficult, so painful. “It was… the hardest thing I’d ever done. I almost died. By some miracle, I didn’t. And by another miracle, I went back to work.”

He still doesn’t say anything.

I bite my lip, uncomfortable by the silence.

“I take a brew for being with Eneko, and I don’t have any illnesses, but if you make love to me, you can’t ever expect another child,” I say, ears ringing.

My heart pounds, and I look away from his face, not being able to bear what comes next.

His fingers stroke my hand, coaxing me to look back up at him. “ Ruh’flor , when I said what I said in the tent, I did not know what I was talking about.”

“And now you do?” I say bitterly.

He brings my gaze to his.

“Yes. What you say… it does not bother me. It does not hurt me.”

“But how?” I insistent.

He sighs. “As living beings, we have this tendency to trade our unseen injuries—the pain of loss, regret, harm—for wisdom. Some pains are too sweet to remove because... because of all that they represent. Years went by. Decades. I carried my abrasions just beneath the surface of my skin in sacred vigil for my sisters. My father. My brother. I went against my king and shut myself off from all, save my mother."

Ra'Sa drops his hand and trails his fingers up my bare arm, pushing my fingers out of my clenched fists and spreading them wide. They barely come up past his palm.

He continues reverently. "I fought it for a time, but when I held you in my arms while you panicked, something changed. I had this... uncontrollable desire to be better. Moreso when I met Thea and Wren. You are more than enough.”

I pause. “Why?”

He strokes my hand. “The walls around my heart tumbled down by the force of our song. It was as if my soul woke up and told me to make space for something new. For you and all the glorious newness that comes with you and your people."

He leans forward and kisses me.

"Your ingenuity."

His lips press to my forehead.

"Your daughters."

His mouth drops to my heart.

"Your strength."

That same wicked mouth trails along my collarbone to my shoulder before speaking into my skin. Speaking to my soul. This level of intimacy doesn't exist for whores.

"Some people require long periods of time to change. I didn't. I will be your mate and their father. Please, accept it. Accept me."

My heart flutters furiously. Don't fall. Do not fall for him.

"But what if we get caught?" I don't mention that Eneko will be back from the mines soon with information I need to get. I don't think about my one resource in excavating it from the foreman’s thoughts. "They'll kill you. They'll kill me."

"I'll kill them faster."

I think of the giant that he murdered in the pit. He did it mercilessly, as he had with the other giants trying to slay us upon escape. There's a brutality to him that is untempered by right and wrong. His mind is clear, determined. He feels no remorse for the deaths because he sees a need to eliminate anything that threatens someone in need.

Don't fall ? —

My words are snatched away when he leans forward and kisses me, bringing me to the edge of the bed.

“If we continue,” he starts, “I’m afraid you'll have to tell me how this goes. I fear hurting you.”

I press a hand to my forehead, looking at him. Unexperienced. Eager. There are things I want to teach him. To take him into my mouth, to show him just how pleasurable this next part can be. That ache inside of me is insistent.

"Remove your clothes," I say firmly.

“Now?” he asks.

“Yes. Hurry.”

He does, starting with his coat and then his shirt. My mouth goes dry as his muscles are revealed, and then, I watch hungrily as his pants fall away, letting his cock free. It’s different than my dream—somehow wider.

I lean forward and grasp his length with both hands. A bead of glistening seed has already appeared on the head of his member. My hands move up and down, and I luxuriate in the responding gasps from this man seemingly unmoved by anything.

"Shh," I coax as he melts in my hands. "You must be quiet."

He seals his lips together as I work him. Then he grabs my hands.

"Enough,” he demands.

His voice thrums through me. Powerful, demanding.

“I wish to touch you as well," he says.

Gods yes.

He looks around the room, grabbing onto one of the towels I use for bathing. He places it on the bed, after tenderly lifting my legs. Then he grabs my bucket of water and another strip of cloth.

"Tonight, I am your student,” he murmurs as he peels off the rest of my clothing. He sees the scars always covered by a nightgown. He strokes across them and pauses.

"I asked you what these were once,” he says.

The scratch of his calloused hands against my soft skin is delicious, but I find it in me to nod.

“I understand now. These were from carrying your daughters."

I swallow, then say, “Yes.”

“You are my strong warrior.”

He dips his head down and brushes his lips over each mark, and I swallow back unexpected emotion.

Then he wets a rag and removes the ties that keep the bloody padding in place. He sets the rags in the washing bucket and begins to clean me.

Once finished, he looks at my sex. I feel exposed in a way that makes me want to curl up.

"What're you doing?" I gasp when his finger traces me.

“Is this not all right?” his eyes meet mine, panicked.

“It is. I just… most men are disgusted by this.”

His eyes return to me. “I am not.”

I ease against my forearms. He touches the bundle of nerves that no man has ever attempted to touch. In my sensitive state, I arch off the bed.

“Are you in pain?”

I shake my head. “This is good. Do it again.”

He does, watching me with burning eyes. And... he moves toward my aching entrance.

“Ra’Sa,” I beg when his thumb reaches for that spot again.

His hand moves against me with extra pressure.

“Say that again.”

I glare at him.

“Be quiet,” I hiss.

One of his fingers slips into my entrance, and I choke.

I’m ready, but that doesn't lessen the torture.

“Ra’Sa,” I say anyway, and he groans. “Enough. I want you inside of me. Now.”

I watch him wipe his hands clean, and then I grasp onto him, pulling him over me until his length is lined up with my entrance.

I blink at the ease of it all, confused.

My mouth parts as he moves.

A slow smile spreads over his face. "That's right. As if we were made for each other."

Every part of my body thrums with pleasure. I lean into the stretch as he fills me so beautifully, mesmerized by the feel of something I've craved for so long.

It isn’t the same as my dream. No, when he fills me, he reaches places deeper inside of me that sing. And his hips don’t merely graze the sweet spot between my thighs, they stroke it, as sure as his hand.

The pain mingles with the sweetest ecstasy, blooming through my mind. All the aches that come with bleeding ebb away.

I let out a quiet moan of relief.

He tenses at the sound and moves faster.

"Yes," I breathe. "Harder."

He obliges. Working until the same delight from before starts to bundle up my nerves, until I feel myself start to press against that edge and freeze.

The pain of stopping just before release is something akin to torture, but coming for a dream was one thing.

Having him before me, inside of me, is another.

I can’t do this. I can’t break my one rule. The fear returns, and I tense up.

Ra'Sa strokes my face. I can't keep him out, and his brow relaxes as he understands.

“Ruh’flor, it's okay. Unravel for me. I am here."

The words sink into my heart. Curse every inch of my being, but I believe him. His fingers move to my jaw, and then he pumps in and out once more. This time, he is desperate and his face slowly twists as he loses himself to the feeling.

I hold his wrist, watching his face as I walk over that edge and fall. Fall in more ways than one, down to a sweet, small death.

It shocks me. It delights me.

As the shudder starts, I arch into him, and he holds me through the act. The sweetest of all feelings grips me—one that I never thought would touch me.

Love.

The words are sealed behind my lips. I don't say them, though they threaten to break free. When his eyes meet mine, he sees. I plead for him to leave me be. It wouldn't take much for him to coax them from my soul, but he understands.

I did it. I fell in love.

Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt.

He kisses me, still buried deep, and says, "Melisa. I am yours."

My eyes widen at the sound of the words. How could I have ever expected to be strong enough to fight against this man?

Instead of returning his words, I kiss him back. Hungry. Helpless.

He thrusts again and again, his gentle presence easing past all the walls around my heart until, finally, they are all gone. I come again, and he presses his hand to my mouth and follows.

The act is quiet, feral, lost, and tense. I hold him back, letting him lay atop me.

In and out.

He exits, and moves to hold me on his side. For a long while, we lie there, suspended in heaven.

I don’t dare move and shatter whatever just happened between us.

Then he stands, hand grazing up my curves, and says, “I will return.”

Before I have time to turn, he is back at my side with the rag. He cleans me and himself and starts to dress.

I roll over, sated, but slowly becoming anything but.

Watching him dress makes me bite my lip.

What we had done was dangerous. It was wrong—especially in this house. He should run, and yet, he kneels next to the bed and covers me with a blanket.

“Gods, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever beheld.”

My mouth parts. “I—thank you.”

Then he brushes my hair, rubbing the strands between his fingers, and says, "Did you visit the girls?"

I shake my head.

"I can’t—not until I finish all the laundry.”

He looks confused. “How would she know?”

“She probably asked one of the guards to watch me. If I leave before finishing, I risk returning to the pit.”

Ra’Sa bristles. “Never.”

I reach out and take his hand.

“I will work hard and finish fast. It should only take a few days. Though, I am worried. Hibsej took the gem I was going to give them."

He strokes my back. "Wait for me to go with you. I will bring them gifts."

I look up at him. "Really?"

He nods.

My head spins. I want to let this happiness swallow me up, but something holds me back. A very big complication.

“What happens when Eneko comes back?” I blurt out. “He’s where we get most of our information.”

“I know.”

“Ra’Sa, you can’t keep wanting me like this. I am… I’m not someone for you to love.”

“I disagree, especially after what we just did.”

“I worry I’ll break your heart. And shatter my own along the way.”

“Perhaps as a young boy, I would’ve made such a mistake. But I have seen the world as black and white and everything in between. I would be a fool to think I could want you so and not accept the parts of you that have formed your soul. This is the mission. One day, it will end. What I feel for you will not.”

His eyes, those damned blue eyes that have haunted my dreams, stare straight into my soul. His perception is too intense. Too wholly consuming.

I don’t like it.

I made a mistake when I picked him for his sculpted arms and gentle tongue. This was supposed to be for the twins.

Between us, our breaths mix. My hand rests on his strong, beating heart.

I swallow, trying to bring moisture back into my suddenly parched mouth, all the while knowing that his heart beats in time with my own.

I bite my lip. “I still don’t understand… this.”

“We will have a lifetime to learn.”

His hand moves under the blanket and strokes my thigh, "Can we do it again?"

I bite my lip, but something pops into my head. “I thought you needed to send a message to the king and queen?”

He groans. “Damnit. You are right.”

“What happened at the meeting you were at?” I ask, rolling over.

There’s nothing calculated about this, not as he holds me. We are just existing. It feels nice.

“There is a rebellion brewing amongst the slaves, and they have a plan to burn the giants’ barracks. They want to start soon because the giant lords are turning on the king,” Ra’Sa says gently.

My eyes go wide. “Really? I’d only ever heard rumblings.”

He nods.

“You need to tell Estela that,” I say.

His head tilts to the side. “You really like her, don’t you?”

“She’s one of my… friends,” I say, eyebrows furrowed. “The gem I want to give to the girls came from her. She’s the first person who ever gave me a gift. It was a necklace.”

Ra’Sa considers this. “Then I will need to work on finding you some trinkets.”

I grin, and inch closer to his warmth.

His hand goes back to my ass. “I will send the message in a minute.”

That mischievous hand ventures lower.

I sigh, but my heartbeat picks up.

“If you make a sound, we are dead."

He reaches for the closure of his pants and huffs. “Is that a yes?”

I meet his eye and say, “Only if you make me come on your cock again.”

His eyes look like blue flame, and he shifts completely as he removes his clothes a second time. Two bright marks glow on the side of his neck. I’d seen them before in Enduvida.

Mating marks.

Oh my.

My thoughts are silenced when his tail reaches towards me and rips off the blanket.

For a second, I marvel at him, not as a man any longer, but an Enduar.

Terrifying.

Enticing.

He wraps his tail around one of my legs, pulls it away from the other, and then sinks into me.

“In a week, we could be home. I’m going to give our family everything.”

I cover his mouth. “Shh.”

He nips against my fingers and then covers my mouth.

I smile as we start to move.

And gods, I swear I see the stars in the heavens as if they danced in this very room.