Tormented Kings (Boys Of Kingston Academy #2)

Chapter 4

Sadie

“Whoever has their hand groping my boob, at least buy me dinner first,” Mia groans, shifting in the bed behind me.

Her words are too loud, and I groan in pain, rolling over to shove my face into the pillow.

“Sorry,” Alice murmurs.

When I got home last night, I passed out. That was until my best friends came to my place at midnight, pounding on my door and freaking out because they couldn’t get a hold of me.

Emma was ready to bust a window to get inside, so I pulled my drunk ass out of bed and let them in.

I proceeded to tell them I lost my phone and lied, telling them the guys took me for a ride, but then we got into a fight, and in the end, I came home, got drunk, and passed out. They insisted on staying over, so we all continued to drink before crashing in my bed.

Lies. So many fucking lies. I’ve never lied so much in my life. It’s all I seem to be doing.

But Preston’s father said he would kill me if I told anyone about what happened last night. And yes, I know in my drunken state, I blurted it all out in the heat of the moment to the guys.

The guys are one thing, but I don’t know if telling the girls is a good idea; I don’t want to put their safety at risk. It would kill me if one of them got hurt because of me.

So, for now, I won't tell them about Collin and the photos. I don’t tell them about being shoved into a limo, threatened, and then tossed out onto the side of the highway.

“Shut up,” I whine. The feeling of someone beating my brain like a drum is making my stomach roll.

“I know I keep saying this, but I really mean it this time. I’m never drinking again,” Emma moans.

“We need to start taking edibles or some shit. No hangover,” Alice says, and I feel the bed move as she sits up.

“No, but we would get the munchies. Think of all the junk food we would consume,” Mia mutters. “My dad would just love to see me gain a few pounds, just so he can bitch me out about how Declan isn’t going to like me if I’m fat.” She snorts. “Sorry, Dad, but that’s not the reason he doesn’t like me. I can’t wait to find out what he’s going to say when he finds out I’m leaving Dec for a girl.”

“Wait, what?” Alice’s voice is laced with panic. “A girl? Who? Who are you seeing?”

I roll my head to the side to see Alice’s narrowed eyes glaring down at Mia.

“No one,” Mia sighs, moving to sit up. She turns to face Alice. “But I’m going to be marrying a woman someday. I’m gay, remember?” She crawls out of the bed and walks into the bathroom across the hall.

Alice watches her go.

“Girl, you need to shape up before you lose her,” Emma sighs.

Alice’s gaze drifts down to Emma. “What are you talking about?”

Emma looks to the door as she sits up before leaning in to get close to Alice. “Are you blind?” she hisses. “That girl has been in love with you for years. But you're so hung up on getting dick you can’t see it. Or maybe you do, and you don’t feel the same way. And that’s fine, but give the girl a break and let her down if you don’t.”

“Emma,” I warn, eyes flicking to the door and back. “Shut up.”

“No,” Emma growls. “I’m done with all this dancing around. I love you both; you’re both my friend, and I hate seeing either of you hurt. I’m not stupid, Alice. I see the way you look at her, and you’re using guys to mask your feelings. It’s okay to want another woman; none of us care.”

Emma pulls the blankets off and storms out of the room.

Alice glares at Emma as she leaves, and my heart sinks as I see tears well in her eyes.

“Fuck her,” her voice cracks. “She doesn’t know anything.”

“Come here.” I move the blanket up, inviting her in to cuddle with me.

Alice wipes at her eyes angrily before moving to cuddle her back to my front. I wrap my arm around her.

“We’re here for you,” I murmur. “We got your back. You can always talk to us. Me or Emma, without Mia around.”

“I know,” she whispers. “You can do the same too, you know.”

I swallow hard. “I know.” My voice cracks. I need to tell them, I have to. Because every day that goes by that I have to keep my past bottled up, it eats at me more and more.

If I’m going to keep adding lies to the pile, I’m going to have to spill some truths to balance it out.

Yeah, Sadie, keep lying to yourself, too; it’s what you do best these days.

“Okay, spill,” Emma demands, leaning back in her chair as she crosses her arms and glares at me the moment I sit down for lunch.

“Spill what?”I blink in confusion as I look around at my best friends.

“You’ve been really weird this whole weekend. You don’t just get drunk for nothing. It’s not like you. Something is eating at you, and we want to know what. We’re your best friends, Dee. We love you beyond compare. We want to be there for you, but we can’t if you don’t talk to us,” Alice explains.

Licking my lips nervously, I look around. I can’t talk about something so serious in the lunchroom.

“Okay.” I nod, a knot growing in my belly. “But not here.”

The girls look at one another before gathering their lunches and standing up. As they follow me out of the cafeteria, we pass the Host Club room.

The door is open, and I risk casting a glance inside. I don’t see the guys, but I do see Tina and her little cronies laughing as they gossip.

Turning my attention away from the door, I quicken my steps until we’re outside.

“Sadie,” Mia says. “You're scaring us. What the hell do you need to tell us that you have to bring us all the way out here?” she asks as we head down the little hill near one of the many ponds on the property.

“Are you going to kill us and feed our bodies to the gators?” Alice asks.

“No.” I snort out a laugh, shaking my head. “We don’t have gators on the property. That’s a safety hazard."

“Shame. I could think of a few people I’d love to feed to a gator,” Emma grumbles.

“Me too,” I sigh, stopping and spinning around to face my friends. They stumble to a halt. “Sit.”

We all sit under a weeping willow tree, and I lean my back against the trunk, bringing my knees up. I pull my sweater down over them, not caring about how hot it is today. I just want to feel small and safe right now.

“Sadie,” Emma’s voice turns soft. “Babe, what’s going on?”

“A lot,” I whisper, hating the tears that sting my eyes. “A lot I want to tell you, but I’m afraid to.”

“You can tell us anything,” Alice promises. “It doesn’t matter what. We won’t speak a word.”

“I need to talk to someone because I’m going fucking crazy.” I laugh, wiping at my eyes.

“Spill, babe. We’re here, we got you,” Emma reassures me, grabbing my hand.

So I do.

I tell them all about the bullshit with Tina; most of it they already know from what they’ve seen with their own eyes.

I admit how I’ve fucked up and fallen for four men I can’t have, about Collin’s father and what happened in the limo the other day. At first, I wasn’t going to tell them that part, but I know the girls will keep this to themselves, and not get involved. I ask them as much to make sure to keep them safe. I also fill them in on my struggles with my eating over the past few years, but I don’t go into details on how it started, or how serious it was, just that I’ve been doing a lot better and then I reveal the biggest secret I’ve kept for years. About that night of the party, and while I don’t remember everything, I do know I was assaulted.

By the time I’m done, I’m in tears and hyperventilating. “Oh, babe,” Emma rasps, and the girls pull me into a group hug.

They tell me how much they love me, how sorry they are that I had to go through that, how they wish they could have been there for me, but understand why I didn’t say anything.

They go on, saying how they’ve got my back now and everything will be okay.

Will it, though? Because right now, I feel like my life is on a downward spiral with no end. It’s just one thing after the other.

It’s my fault for walking through those gold and red Host Club doors and making that deal.

“Sadie?” Collin’s voice has my heart jumping into my throat, my pulse racing.

“Oh no, you don’t.” Mia jumps to her feet. “After what you did, you have no right to come anywhere near her.”

Collin gives my friend a glare. “You don’t know anything,” he growls before his eyes shift to me. “Sadie, please talk to me.”

I haven’t seen any of the guys since Saturday night, but Declan did give my phone to Mia to give back to me this morning. I haven’t bothered turning it on yet, afraid of what the text messages and voicemails might say now that they know I have my phone back.

“Why? So you can lie your way out of it? She saw the photos, Collin,” Emma snips, helping me to my feet.

Collin ignores my friends and moves over to me. “Baby girl,” he murmurs, cupping my face, his concerned eyes boring into mine. “I hate seeing you cry.”

“Maybe you should stop being the reason for it then,” Alice mutters.

“Would you please leave us?” Collin sighs heavily, shooting Alice a look.

Now that my mind is a lot clearer and my chest is less heavy—due to spilling everything to my best friends—I feel a lot better. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for what’s to come. Part of me wants to just bury my head in the sand and ignore it all, act like none of it happened, and hope it goes away.

Sadly, that’s not how life works, and if I continue to ignore reality, it’s going to eat me alive.

“It’s okay.” I give my best friends a reassuring smile. “We need to have this talk.”

“Are you sure?” Emma asks. “Because he can fuck right off. He has no right to you.”

“I know.” I nod. “But I’m sure. I’ll be okay. He won’t hurt me.” At least, I don’t think he would. Honestly, I’m not sure what to think anymore.

“Of course, I wouldn’t hurt you.” He gazes down at me, both hands cupping my face now. He brushes his thumbs against my cheeks, and I hate how much I love it. How much I crave his touch, his smell, him. He might have been a lot to handle at times, but it’s been growing on me. I miss it, I miss him.

“Maybe not physically,” I whisper. “But my heart sure has taken a hit.” I reach up and rub at my chest. Hurt flashes in his eyes before I tear my attention away from him and back to my friends. “I’ll call you if I need you.”

“Meet up after school?” Alice asks.

“Yeah.” I smile. “Need some study time.”

“Ah, more like we need to go pick out Halloween costumes.” Emma snorts. “It’s okay, babe; we know what you meant.” She winks before shooting a glare at Collin. She steps up close, getting in his face. Well, the best she can with the height difference. “I don’t care who you are, who your mommy is, or how much money you have. If you hurt my best friend again, I will sneak into your home and smother you in your sleep,” she whispers clearly.

I could almost cry again because how could I have kept all this from them? Of course, they would have my back. They would never judge. Sometimes, it’s hard to talk to others because admitting things out loud makes everything a lot more real.

But they’re my family, my people. No more keeping things from them. At least things I know I’m allowed to tell. The threat from Collin’s dad doesn’t count. He can eat shit and die, crazy bastard.

I watch as the girls leave, walking back up the hill and towards the school. It’s only then that I notice the other people mulling around in the distance, who could easily see how close Collin and I are right now.

The realization has me taking a step back and out of his hold.

He takes a step forward, brows furrowing. “People could see us,” I tell him, lowering my eyes because it hurts to look at him.

“I don’t fucking care if anyone sees,” he growls.

“Well, I do.” I raise my voice, my eyes snapping back up to his. “The last fucking thing I need right now is people spreading rumors that I’m fucking my TA. It’s bad enough I have Tina on my ass again and the fact that everyone is talking about how I’m fucking the whole Host Club. I don’t need any more attention on me.”

Another lovely thing I learned about over the weekend is that I’m not just fucking Preston, Grayson, and Declan, but the Host Club as a whole. Yup, all twenty-plus people. How fucked up is that? I fucking hate rich people and their big mouths with nothing better to do than fuck with other people’s lives.

I don’t have a doubt in my mind that Tina was the one who started that. Another reason to stay away from the Host Club.

Now that our arrangement is done, I should stay away. Far away. But why does the idea of that make me want to cry even more?

They’re not mine. But I want them to be. All of them. But like the saying goes, we can’t always get what we want.

“Sadie,” he whispers.

“Look, you wanted to talk? Here’s your chance, talk.” I cross my arms, pretending like I’m not a fucking basket case inside right now.

“Can we go somewhere more private?”

“No.” I shake my head because if I’m in a room alone with him, I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself if he worked his damn charm on me, even if I’m pissed at him.

“Okay,” he sighs heavily, running a hand through his inky black hair.

He looks too good right now, dressed in brown slacks and a white button-down. His sleeves are rolled up, displaying the ink on his arms. “About the photos.”

“Oh, this has gotta be good.” I laugh, shaking my head as I turn to start walking towards a nearby picnic table.

“It’s not what it looked like,” Collin insists as he follows me over.

“Really?” I ask, taking a seat at the table and laying my arms on top. I watch him take a seat on the other side, surprised when he didn’t insist on sitting next to me. Probably wants to make sure he can look me in my eyes as he breaks my heart even more. “So, you’re telling me that wasn’t you in the photos fucking some woman?”

He gives me a guilty look, and I swear I almost puke. “I can’t do this,” I say in a rush, moving to stand up.

“No, Sadie, please, stay.” He sounds so desperate right now. I think the only reason why he hasn’t snatched me up and taken me somewhere private is because there are people around.

Taking a deep breath, I sit back down.

“Look, yes, the photos are of me,” he starts, but quickly follows it up with. “But there’s a lot of photoshop work that was done.”

“Okay.” My brows furrow in confusion.

“The photos were taken of me when I was a teenager. It was a one-night stand; the girl meant nothing to me.”

“Real nice,” I snort.

“No, not like that ,” he stresses, running a hand down his face in frustration. Maybe I should just shut up and listen. It would probably make this go by a lot faster. Then, I can leave and lick my wounds in peace. “What I mean is it wasn’t someone I was interested in. I didn’t really want anyone back then. It was before my feelings for you emerged. I’m not going to lie, I was a bit of a man whore back then. I’m not proud of it. But once I came to terms with how I felt about you, how my feelings have shifted, I haven’t been with anyone else. Not since having you.”

I shouldn’t like how his words make me feel—I shouldn’t believe it—yet butterflies erupt in my belly anyways.

“So you’re telling me, your father somehow had photos of you taken from when you were a teenager having sex with some girl and then photoshopped Connie’s face onto them?”

“Yes.” He nods. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Preston told me what you said about my father, the things he said and did.” His nostrils flare. “I am so fucking sorry that he did that. I should have been watching you closer. I should have protected you.”

“It’s not your job, Collin.”

He gets up and makes his way around the table to sit next to me. “But it is, Loillpop, it really is. It always has been. Since the moment your mother brought you home, and I saw your squishy little face, I vowed I would do everything in my power to protect you. Then, I was just a little kid with big dreams of being your protector. Later, I turned into a teenager, fighting boys off left and right.” My brows go up at his admission, but I keep quiet. “And then I had to go away. I hated that, you know I did. I told you as much. But I still found ways to make sure you were okay. Even then, it wasn’t enough. I’m not God, I can’t be there every moment of every day. And I will forever hate myself that I couldn’t protect you from that monster.”

I know he means Lionel and my eyes start to sting. I close my eyes and look away. But he keeps going.

“But I will protect you from this monster. I will do everything in my fucking power to make sure my father doesn’t touch you. Everything he said was a lie, Sadie. The photos, his threats, everything.”

“So I wasn’t just something to do to pass the time before you could be with her?” I ask, voice cracking. I knew, deep down, I wasn’t. Things between us, even though it’s odd and intense, you can’t fake feelings like that.

Maybe a part of me wanted to use this as an excuse to hate him, to have one less person to have a hold of my heart so I can stop being pulled in so many different directions.

“No,” he says the world fiercely. “Never. Because there is no her, there is no one but you, Sadie. Just you, always you. Every other woman in this world means nothing to me. I only have eyes for you. He’s been trying to get me to marry that woman for years now, and I told him the same thing every time. Never. I will never marry Connie. Or anyone else he tries to set me up with. Because I love you. I want you .”

My chest feels so heavy with all these conflicting emotions.

“What about the audio?”

“What audio?” he asks, brows furrowing.

“He played an audio of you and her talking. About how you were excited to see her again.” And then I sigh. “He probably did something to fake it.”

“No probably. He did. Whatever it was, it wasn’t me talking. Hell, he most likely used AI or something. Because I haven’t talked to that woman recently, if ever. Please, Sadie–” his hand grips me tight. “Please believe me.”

I chew on my lower lip, stomach doing somersaults. I should say no, that it’s just not that easy. But it is. Because I was fooling myself. This is Collin. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, this man is crazy about me. He’s made it known more than once.

“I do,” I finally say, my voice just above a whisper.

“You do?” he asks, eyes flicking between mine, filled with a vulnerability I’ve never seen.

“I do.” I nod. “But...”

“No buts,” he growls, brows furrowing.

“But–” I continue. “It doesn’t change anything. I believe you when you say you don’t want to marry that woman, but your father does. He made it very clear that he will stop at nothing to make that happen. Including threatening my life and trying to pay me to leave.” I shake my head, looking out at the people walking along the path as I remember the crazy amount of money. “I’m not going to lie, I was tempted, you know. To take the money and go.” I turn back to look at Collin, who’s watching me intensely. Everything about this man is intense.

“But you didn’t,” he states.

“No. I don’t want his money. It’s dirty and comes with strings attached. I don’t want to leave, this is my home. I have plans for my future right here, on these school grounds. This school is literally going to be my career.” My heart starts to race as I think about the threat. “But I am afraid. If I don’t do what he asked of me, what will happen? Will he really kill me?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Because I won’t let him get near you to do it.”

“He’s a powerful man, Collin.”

“And so am I.”

My belly swoops, my heart beating a little bit faster.

“What about my mom? What if he threatens her if I don’t do as he asks.”

“She’s under Mark’s protection. You don’t have to worry about her. He wouldn’t risk it. My father is lower on the social ladder than Mark. Much, much lower. All of this is some pathetic power play to keep himself relevant in our world. He knows he’s nothing. The only reason why he holds any power at all is because of the fucked up dirty things he does for criminals.”

“Maybe you should just do it,” I whisper, hating the words as soon as they leave my mouth. “It’s not worth the trouble. I’m not worth the trouble.”

“Never,” he snarls. “I would never marry her. Even if you told me you and I would never be anything more, I still wouldn’t. I want to marry for love, not because someone else is forcing me to. It’s the one thing my mother has always wanted for me. She learned her lesson and paid big time for it. Told me that the only good thing that came out of that arrangement was me. And even though she had to go through a lot before she came out on top, she said it was worth it. I don’t need to marry for money and connections. I have more money than I’d ever know what to do with. What I need is you. Only you.”

I don’t pull away when he slides his fingers into the back of my hair and pulls me close. I take a shuddering breath as he leans in and kisses me softly before putting his forehead against mine. “I love you, Sadie. When will you understand that nothing else in the world matters to me?”

This is crazy. All of it. I hardly know Collin. Yet I find myself wanting to throw myself at him, tell him I want him too, that I care for him far more than I should.

I want him. I want him to be mine.

“I love you too,” I whisper, because I do. As crazy and fucked up as it is, I’m falling in love with Collin, one crazy thing he does after the other.

The night of the charity ball was a living nightmare for me. I’ve never felt so defeated and hurt by what I thought he did. I should have known better than to believe that monster. If Collin really did want to be with Connie, then his father wouldn’t see me as a threat or as someone who needs getting rid of.

“But–”

“Seriously, Sadie, enough with the buts, or I’ll be spanking yours,” he growls.

I laugh. “But–” I continue, a small bit of the darkness ebbing away. “It doesn’t make everything else in my life disappear.”

“I’ll deal with my father. I promise.”

“It’s not that.” I shake my head. “Yes, I love you. Yes, I’d love to be with you. But the fact is, as much as I hate it, you know how I feel about the other guys.”

“I don’t care,” he insists. “Be with them all if you want. I don’t care. As long as I have you, that’s all that matters.”

My brows shoot up, and I laugh in disbelief. “You? Mister-Caveman. Mister-don’t-touch-my-woman-and-growls-any-time-the-guys-so-much-as-look-at-me is okay sharing me with other people?”

“Not really,” he sighs. “I’m a possessive man, okay. I want you all to myself, yes. But this past weekend, it opened my eyes. I don’t want to lose you, Sadie. The fear I felt thinking you hated me—would never talk to me again—it was soul destroying. I was losing my mind.”

“Oh,” I whisper.

“So, if that means I have to share you with one or all three of the guys, I will. I’m not sure how we would make it work, but I will.”

“Really?” I ask, searching his eyes. “You’re not joking?”

“I’d never joke when it comes to my feelings for you,” he promises.

“Okay.” I blink, head spinning with all this new information.

“Look, don’t answer me now. Just think about it. You know where I stand. I’m not going anywhere. I will be finding a way to get my dad off our asses, and I will share you with the other guys.”

I just stare at him, unsure what to say.

“I gotta go, class starts in a few. But before I do, I need to know are we okay?” His eyes bore into mine. “Because I’m not leaving here until we are.”

It’s official, I’m crazy. I’m sitting side by side with this man on the crazy train. “We’re okay.”

The smile he gives me makes my whole body light up. “I’ll see you later, baby girl.” He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead.

I watch him leave and can’t help the slow smile that slips onto my face. Did that really just happen?