Torn (Deep 8, #5)

34. Roger

THIRTY-FOUR

Roger

Earlier, my mouth overloaded my common sense, and I blurted out what I know is going through her mind, even if she denied it. Her mercurial mood swings are giving me whiplash, making it seem like there’s something she’s not telling me. I’ll get it out of her eventually.

I tuck her hand in mine. "I’m sorry about what I said with the ditching comment. My frustration has hit its limit. We need a break in here somewhere." She doesn’t pull her hand away and caresses the top of my hand with her finger.

"This op is chipping away at the entire team. We have to collect ourselves and find a way in." She sighs and looks out the window.

Nick’s innocence is questionable at best. Too many roads lead to him and that may be how we find a way to the center.

The sun disappears without any fanfare, and the stars can be seen between the wispy clouds. Australia seems to have two sides, one light and one dark. The beauty and majesty come alive every day, but the underbelly of the government and those in charge mar its splendor. The people walking down the street wouldn’t know any different.

The darkness of the car surrounds us, with only the glow of the dashboard lights. At this moment, we’re not part of a bigger plan to save my father and come face-to-face with Deep 8. It’s just the two of us without the strings of our mission.

"I can’t save everyone, can I?" Her voice pierces the dark.

"No, we can never save everyone. Sometimes people need to save themselves." The words hang between us, deciding who to grab onto first.

She squeezes my hand. "We both need to save ourselves."

"I was thinking the same thing." I drive up to the house, park the car, and grab the door handle when she pulls my arm.

"There’s something I need to tell you. This might be my first step in coming clean and saving the only part I have left of myself." Her eyes hold regret.

A knot forms in my stomach. The secret she’s been carrying is about to be revealed, and I’m not sure I’m ready to hear what she has to say.

"When the assignment came up to be Lucas’s detail, I jumped at the chance, and no one questioned it. I had an ulterior motive. The evidence in my father’s death suggests he was murdered and didn’t die in a boating accident.

"Lucas and my father were working on something together, but I don’t know what it was. There was an argument I overheard but couldn’t make out what it was about. A week later, my father died in a boating accident, even though he was a professional sailor most of his life.

"Things weren’t adding up, and my mother accepted his death without question. I couldn’t let it go. I’ve been searching for evidence that Lucas had something to do with it, but I’ve found nothing. At this point, I’m not sure he had anything to do with it, given what we found out about Nick. My focus has changed."

"Let me get this straight. For this entire op, you’ve wanted to find my father for one reason, because you think he had something to do with your father’s death. However, you have no evidence. What did you expect to gain by finding him?"

"I wanted to question him about some emails I came across before he disappeared. I thought he could make sense of them and give me some answers." Her eyes widen.

"Why didn’t you tell me this in the beginning?" I say calmly while my temper boils on the inside.

She says the one thing I don’t want to hear from her. "I needed to gain your trust and see if you knew anything about their partnership. Also, I would be accusing your father of murder. That’s kind of a deal breaker." Her words die on her lips.

I rip the car door open before I explode and say something I might regret. Once I’m in the house, Sean asks me what’s wrong. "Ask her," I respond.

Pacing the living room, I try to get my head wrapped around what has transpired between us from the beginning. Some of the cards in the deck were missing. She’s good at what she does, manipulating people for information.

I listen with half an ear as Harlow recounts her story to Sean, almost verbatim to what she told me. She glances over at me several times, and her fingers twist together until she shoves them in her pockets.

"It would have been nice to know this when you came on board. What does Pierce Holdings specialize in?" Sean asks.

"My father built a tech company from the ground up. They created several computer chips and other high-level tech. Some are government contracts." Harlow’s eyes bounce between me and Sean.

"Holy shit," Pippa blurts out from behind her computer. "This company is worth billions with a capital B." She whistles.

Harlow’s face blushes, but she doesn’t say anything. "Yes." She confirms.

"What was the question?" Sean asks, lost in the conversation.

"I’m the sole heir to his fortune." She pulls back her shoulders.

Sean waits for a minute and assesses her. "Yet you chose to work for the ASIO." He tests her. He has enough money to live comfortably for the rest of his life, yet he chooses to work for MBK Global Security.

"It’s a calling for me. This is where I belong," she responds without regret. Sean nods in understanding.

"Maybe you don’t belong on this op anymore," I bellow from the living room, keeping my distance. "You’ve proven you can’t be trusted."

Her head whips in my direction, and her face falls. She stalks toward me. "I belong on this op more than you. I know Lucas in a business capacity. You don’t know him at all, which has been made painfully clear from the start."

The air goes out of the room, and the sound of footsteps echoes away from us, but I’m not backing down. We’re in a staring contest when Sean enters the room.

"She’s not going anywhere. Her motive doesn’t compromise anything we have to do. We need her for her connections to Lucas and Nick, so figure your shit out." He leaves us to find out where we stand with each other. I know where I stand.

I move closer and tower over her. "I’ll stay away from you, and you can keep your distance from me. Deal?"

"No deal."

"What do you mean no deal? It’s a perfectly good deal. It’s a win-win." I push back in surprise.

"The deal sucks ass. I can’t stay away from you any more than I can cut off my finger. You’re stubborn, bossy, and hot as hell. You push every single one of my buttons, and I enjoy it too much to give you up."

Her honest response catches me off guard, but I remain in my head, trying to find my next move. When I don’t say anything, she continues, "I’m truly sorry I didn’t tell you everything. It’s hard to tell someone you suspect their father of murder." She comes closer and puts her hand on my chest. I swallow the lump in my throat.

"The most personal part about me, you already know. I’ve never shared my story of cowardice with anyone. Wanting to find Lucas is the motivation for me. If we?—"

"When we?—"

"When we find him, I have questions I need answers to for closure on my father’s death. He might be able to help. If we find Nick first, maybe he has answers." She pleads her case.

"I hate to break up your make-up session, but I’ve found something we need to look at together," Pippa interrupts at our pivotal moment.

I don’t know what to do with the woman in front of me who’s tenacious, beautiful, and smart with a sharp tongue.

Pippa sits in front of the laptop. "You said Pierce Holdings was your father’s company. Every company has a logo they use and sometimes stamp it on their products." Her fingers fly across the keys.

The screen fills with a photo of an H with a capital P in the middle. "Is this the Pierce Holdings logo?" Pippa asks.

"Yes, where did you find this?" Harlow mumbles, staring at the screen.

"On one of the pieces we’re supposed to deliver to Deep 8 in exchange for Lucas."

Harlow’s eyes widen. "There must be a mistake."

"No mistake. I sent a photo of the chip in the piece to the team back in New York so they could enlarge it. This is what they sent back. You authenticated it."

She turns inward before my eyes, and whatever plan I had to distance myself from her evaporated like mist on a summer morning.