Trapped (Sinners of Boston #5)

37. Delilah

THIRTY-SEVEN

DELILAH

I spiraled the moment he stepped out.

I sat alone in Santino’s penthouse. Every word he’d hurled at me echoed in my ears as I replayed our fight. The only thing stopping me from a trip to the liquor store was the tiny life growing inside me. I couldn’t be more than a few weeks pregnant. The baby was only a speck at this point, but it already had a hold on me.

Just a few days ago, the idea of being pregnant terrified me, but now it was the only thing keeping me sane. The ache in my chest deepened, and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears to stay at bay. I couldn’t afford to fall apart. This baby…our baby deserved better than this. It deserved parents who loved each other.

Someone knocked.

I got up from the couch, flying to the door. When I opened it, Santino’s brother stood in the doorway. His expression was unreadable as always, his cold gaze sweeping over me.

“Can I come in?”

I nodded, stepping aside.

The door closed silently behind him, and Kill crossed his arms.

“I heard about the fight,” Kill deadpanned.

“It’s none of your business.”

Kill didn’t move, his gaze boring into me.

I clenched my jaw. “He shoved a freaking ring on my finger and told me we were getting married. He didn’t even ask. He wouldn’t let it go, so I kicked him out.”

“He doesn’t do things halfway. You should know that by now.”

A bitter laugh escaped me. “Yeah, I do.”

“You’re important to him,” Kill said, his baritone surprisingly gentle. “Maybe more than you realize.”

His words stung because I wanted to believe them. It’d be nice if Santino’s obsession with control was rooted in love, but every step forward felt like falling more into a trap.

“He’s just so… intense. Like he’s trying to control everything.”

Kill studied me for a long moment. “Santino’s not like your dad, and he’s not Dimitri. He’s got his own demons, sure, but he’ll never hurt you. He’s protective. Sometimes, he just goes about it in a fucked-up way.”

“He’s unhinged.”

“We all are.”

“Yeah, but he’s done a lot of messed up things.”

Kill used to murder people for a living. He wouldn’t bat an eye if I told him about the kidnapping, the birth control pills going mysteriously missing, or the man at the fighting ring he’d probably beaten to death.

“If he’s done some bad shit, it’s because he likes you so much.”

“You’re just here to help out your brother.”

“Santino isn’t the type to fly off the handle for a girl, but with you, he’s different. He’s…” He shook his head, smiling. “ Whipped .”

“He sure has a funny way of showing it.”

“He’s never been good with feelings. Doesn’t mean they’re not there. And I’ve never seen him like this.”

I swallowed, my throat tight. “Then why doesn’t he just say it? Why does everything have to be about control?”

Kill shrugged. “Because that’s how we protect the people we love.”

I looked up at Kill, searching his face for any sign of deceit. I wasn’t angry anymore, just confused. Could it really be that simple? That all of this intensity was because Santino felt something deeper than he could admit?

“You think he loves me?”

Kill nodded. “I’ve never seen him this tortured over a woman in my life. And I’ve never seen him leave when things get tough. Not until today. And that’s only because you asked him to.”

All this time, I’d been so focused on my own fears. I hadn’t seen what was right in front of me.

“He’s scared,” Kill continued, his tone softening. “He’s terrified of losing you. And that makes him do stupid things. But it’s because he wants to make sure you’re with him. Always.”

I swallowed hard. “What if I’m too broken for him?”

“We’re all broken. That doesn’t mean we’re not worth fighting for.”

That settled over me like a warm blanket. Maybe he was right.

“I don’t want to lose him,” I whispered.

“Then don’t. Talk to him.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s at the fighting ring.”

My throat tightened. “What’s he doing there?”

“Causing trouble. Not just with the talent, but civilians too. It’s getting out of hand. Someone needs to pull him back before he does something crazy.”

My stomach clenched. “I’ll go to him. I’ll talk sense into him.”

Kill opened the door. “I’ll take you.”

I grabbed my coat, and Kill led the way. As we headed out, my heart pounded. This wasn’t just a rescue mission. It was the last chance to salvage our relationship or, at the very least, bring him back from the brink before he destroyed himself.

“Thanks for coming with me,” I said as I got into his car.

“It’s what family does.” Kill started the engine and drove out of the parking garage.

When we arrived, the place was buzzing with the usual nighttime crowd. I followed Kill, his presence clearing a path through the crowd.

Stepping inside the room that held the ring was like entering a world where the rules of the outside didn’t apply. The stench of blood and sweat saturated the air. I scanned the crowd, searching for Santino.

Kill nodded toward the far corner. A group of guys shoved each other. Santino stood in the center of the commotion, his fists balled and his shirt ripped. Men in suits formed a ring around him, blocking from a shirtless man wearing red boxing gloves. Santino was fighting the only way he knew how.

I’d done that to him.

I’d made him feel unwanted, too scared to admit I loved him. I hated that I’d shown it by pushing him away. I’d been so focused on not getting hurt that I didn’t see how I was hurting us both, maybe beyond repair.

My whole life, I’d been discarded. I entered a relationship with Santino, expecting him to let me go after he had his fill. Instead he’d kept me around. Offered me a life with him. Practically begged me to say yes. And I’d been too caught up in my demons to realize that we belonged together. My heart ached to see him so lost and desperate.

I had something beautiful with this man.

But if I didn’t claim him now, I’d lose him.

“Santino!”

My voice barely cut through the din of the crowd.

His head snapped up, eyes locking onto mine. For a split second, everything around us faded—the noise, the chaos, the ring. He didn’t move.

Kill sighed. “Let me talk to him first. Stay here.”

He approached Santino, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. Santino turned, his expression bestial. They exchanged a few words, too low for me to hear over the music, and then Santino’s posture relaxed.

Kill motioned for me to come over. I took a deep breath and moved forward, my heart pounding. Santino was battered but still so damn beautiful. His eyes met mine, a mix of emotions flickering across his face—anger, confusion, and something that looked painfully like regret.

I pushed through the crowd until I stood in front of him.

His lips flattened. “Go home, Delilah.”

“ No .”

His nostrils flared, and a few of his men winced.

I ignored them. “We need to talk.”

I took his hand, drawing him away from the men. He resisted. His black eyes blazed with need, but something kept him from falling into my arms like he usually did. Pride, maybe.

So I kissed him.

I linked my arms around his neck and poured my feelings into a kiss. My hands framed his face. He tasted like whiskey, and it made me crave every sweep of his tongue. His mouth softened, and his arms wound my waist, anchoring me to his body. I pulled back and gently took the lead again. I tugged on his hand. He followed, grabbing his jacket from a chair.

Once we stood outside, alone in the parking lot, I ran my fingers over his bloody hand.

“Your knuckles are all ripped up.”

“I got into a fight.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my arms tightening around him. “I’m sorry for all the times I pushed you away. It’s not because I don’t care—it’s because I care too much. And I…there’s something I need to tell you. I tried to tell you earlier, but you brushed me off.”

Would this be the last time he looked at me like this?

Santino stared at me, unblinking. “What is it?”

Taking a deep breath, I gathered all my courage. My heart screamed to tell him how much I loved him and how desperately I wanted us to build a future together. Instead, I focused on the other truth that needed to be shared.

“Luca is alive, and he’s in Providence.”