Trapped with the Earl of Sin

Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

S usanna felt like she was an actress in a movie, simply playing a role, as she sat at the dinner table, eating with her family and all the guests at Standen Abbey. It was hard for her to focus and engage with the inane chatter going on around her, when she had so much on her mind. She did not know how to behave properly when her brain was so messy.

She kept trying to eat, but every time she brought food to her mouth, a queasiness overcame her, and she could not eat a thing. The more time that she had spent thinking about Edwin and his friend’s comment while she was alone, the worse she felt about it.

“Lady Mary most certainly does seem to have the worst luck with her betrothed, does she not?”

“Hopefully, this one has a better fate.”

“Maybe it is not luck, but deserved punishment. Fate is only cruel to those who deserve it, am I right?”

Why say those things? Were they just idle comments or something much more sinister? Knowing how fascinated Edwin seemed to be with Mary, Susanna could not be sure.

She could not allow Edwin to do anything to upset Mary.

She would stop at nothing to ensure he behaved himself.

Like there was a magnet drawing her eyes towards him, Susanna found herself meeting Martin’s gaze. The only other person who had heard the same thing as her.

She hoped for some sympathy from him or something, but that was not what she got.

Martin shocked her by making a strange half-nodding gesture, angling his head towards the door as if he wanted her to leave the room.

Her heart began to thunder in her throat as she sat up a little straighter in her seat.

Now?

She furrowed her brow in confusion. Somehow, Martin seemed to sense what she was thinking because he nodded once.

Knowing that she would not be able to leave the table and return as if nothing had happened, she leaned in and whispered to her mother, “I am not feeling very well, Mother. I have a terrible headache, and it is making me feel very sick. Do you mind if I am excused? I think it best for me to return to my bedchambers.”

“Are you alright?” her mother asked, looking very concerned. She pressed her hand to her forehead to see how much she was burning up. “Yes, you do feel a little hot.”

“I will rest,” Susanna replied with a thin smile. “I am sure I will feel better in the morning.”

“Of course, dear,” her mother said softly, her concern evident. “Go and rest. I will check on you later.”

Susanna nodded, her heart still pounding. She rose from the table, feeling the weight of several pairs of eyes on her as she made her way towards the door. Her steps were steady, but inside she felt like she was walking on a tightrope.

She could not bring herself to look at Martin as she left the room because she was so fearful of being caught out. Sneaking away to spend a moment with him alone, however innocent it might be, could be catastrophic for the pair of them. Yet, for some reason, she was willing to risk it.

It is for my sister.

Susanna tried to tell herself that she was making this dangerous move for Mary. She wanted to talk to Martin about what they had listened to earlier, because their conversation got interrupted, but deep down Susanna knew that there was more to it.

She ached to get close to Martin again to see if the intense attraction still sizzled between them.

But where was she supposed to go?

Martin had indicated for her to leave the room, but he gave her no clue as to where she should go. There were staff members milling around in the hallways, which only added to her anxiety.

Susanna knew that she was going to have to find somewhere to wait that was out of sight, but where Martin could still find her. If he could find an excuse to leave the table that was. She was still not entirely convinced that he would be able to come and see her…

She walked, acting like she had purpose until she found a small alcove in the wall. It was most certainly not the most ideal hiding place, and she was very afraid that she might get caught, but Susanna could not think of a better place to be than this.

While waiting, for what she was sure would feel like an eternity, she tried to mentally plan what excuse she would use if she was found out. Nothing came to mind, there was truly no reason that she could think of to be where she was.

How long will I even wait here? How long before I cave and actually retire to my bedchambers?

But even if she did leave, she knew that she would not feel any better. She would not be able to switch off this worry…

Relief flooded her the moment she spotted Martin sneaking by her. He did not spot her until she stepped out and touched his arm to get his attention. She did not mean to make him jump, but that was the effect she accidentally had on him.

“Sorry, I…”

But Martin was too busy already trying to pull her into a room with him. A small storage room that did not give her much chance to put any distance between them. They were already too close for comfort, and she still did not know what this conversation would be about.

“I want you to finish telling me about Edwin,” he hissed quietly to her. “I need to know the full story.”

Susanna was not sure if she should be grateful that they were going to talk about Edwin, or disappointed that they were still pretending the almost kiss did not happen.

“Right, yes, I see.” She nodded and swallowed hard as she tried to recall where she had gotten to. That was not the easiest thing to do when Martin was within touching distance. “Well, as I said, Edwin has always shown my sister affection, and he has ignored her rejection. After Duncan was killed, he became insistent. Always coming to the house even though Mary was in deep mourning.”

“What made it stop?”

“I am not sure,” Susanna admitted. “I did not look into it, we were not too worried. Just grateful that he was leaving Mary alone. We did not think that we would ever see him again. I most certainly did not expect to come here and see him, but then I was not aware that he is Luke’s cousin.”

“I see.”

As Martin pondered on this, Susanna found herself studying his face a little too closely. The fact that he was a strikingly handsome man was really hitting her now and making her heart race. It was challenging to be in this tiny space with him, so close to her that she could feel the intensity of the heat radiating off his body. Every breath tickled her face.

“His comment about a deserved punishment… I found that really strange,” Susanna declared, just to try and fill the silence for a moment. “I did not like hearing it when Edwin was friends with Duncan. It seemed rather cruel. Particularly because he saw how upset Mary was after Duncan passed away.”

“Yes, I thought it was odd as well,” Martin admitted, much to Susanna’s relief. “But I do not want to get carried away with my thinking. I do not want to jump to conclusions and think the worst of Edwin—even though I have never thought very positive things about him—but I do think that this is something we should investigate more.”

Investigate?

This stunned Susanna to her very core. She was not sure how to respond to that.

“You think we should investigate Edwin?”

“Yes. You said that Duncan was murdered… well, I do not wish to accuse Edwin of such a heinous crime without evidence. Plus, much as I have no love for Edwin, I do not want to believe that he is capable of such things…”

“Murder?” Susanna gasped, needing to be sure that she and Martin were on the same page.

“Perhaps. I mean, someone has to have committed the crime, and Edwin, it appears, had a motive. It is most certainly something to consider.”

Now that was a conclusion that Susanna had not wanted to consider. But hearing Martin vocalize it made it all the more real. It was something that she did not want to wrap her head around, but it seemed like it was something she was going to have to think about. Especially now that Mary was about to get married again.

“I do not think we should tell anyone about this,” she said hurriedly. “Unless we find out anything that we should actually tell others.”

“Oh yes, I agree with that.” Martin nodded enthusiastically. “I most certainly think that we should keep things from Luke and Mary. They are so happy planning their wedding. We do not want to upset them unless we absolutely have to. There is no need to ruin their joy.”

Footsteps caused Susanna and Martin to fall into an awkward silence. They had no idea who was walking by them, but it terrified them both. They automatically stepped closer to each other to hide, just in case anyone else entered this tiny storage room.

It was not until the footsteps started to retreat that they realized they were chest to chest, their lips almost touching. They really were breathing one another in, which was utterly overwhelming.

Again, Susanna knew that she should move and put an end to this moment, but she also did not want to. The flames flickering in Martin’s eyes and the desire that she could almost feel from him were overwhelming.

It took everything that she had not to rise on her tiptoes and kiss him. As her eyes fluttered shut, she felt that intense loss of control all over again. The draw to Martin was too intense. She was not sure that she could ignore it…

But just as she was about to soar high, the sound of the maids chattering passed the storage room and brought her back down to earth with a thump.

She could not kiss Martin. Even more so now. They had a mission that they needed to accomplish, and that was far more important than whatever was sizzling between them. It was not like Martin had expressed any real interest in courting her, so she should not even be considering this.

“I… I need to go now,” she murmured as she staggered away from him. “I have to go to my bedchambers in case my mother starts looking for me. I said that I was sick, and Mother will be checking in on me eventually.”

“Yes, of course,” Martin replied thickly. “And I will need to return to the table. Everyone will be expecting me back in a moment.”

They had said their goodbyes but did not break eye contact for a beat too long. Susanna was almost afraid to stop looking at Martin for fear that he might disappear, leaving her alone in this mess.

It was strange that she had come to rely on him so much when she did not like him at all, but he was the only other person who knew what was going on. He was the only other person who knew that they might be dealing with someone very dangerous here.

Eventually, much as she did not want to, Susanna had to break their stare because she had to be sensible.

She had to run.

Her heart was pounding, and it continued to thunder as she made her escape up the stairs. Anxiety zig-zagged through her stomach as she leapt into her bedchambers and closed the door behind her.

I need to help Mary, she told herself, over and over again. I need to do whatever I can… but it is not easy.

Martin was becoming quite the distraction, and she was not too sure what to do about him.

They had nearly kissed again . She had put her reputation on the line another time. It was as if she was becoming wilder and more unhinged by the minute, taking risks that she absolutely should not.

But how could she stop herself when she was drawn to him in a way that she could not seem to pull back from?

Knock, knock.

Panic shot through Susanna as she bolted upright. What was Martin doing? He was supposed to be heading back to the table, to act like nothing was wrong.

The longer he stayed away from the dinner table, the more suspicious his behavior was.

Susanna was almost too nervous to open the door because she did not want to make this wild situation any worse than it already was.

“Susanna?”

Relief crashed through her, followed by a flicker of unwelcome disappointment, as she realized that this was her mother.

She had come to check on her, just as she said she would.

“Oh, hello, Mother.”

Susanna forced a smile on her face as she opened the door.

“Oh dear, you truly do look unwell, Susanna. Do you need anything?”

It was a little insulting, since the sickness had been a lie, but perhaps she was not looking her best because of shock and her worry for Mary.

“Just sleep,” Susanna insisted. “Do not worry about me, please, I will be fine.”

“Of course, I will worry about you. What would we do without you, Susanna? You know that you are the rock of our family.”

Susanna smiled thinly. Much as she had always liked that position, it was starting to feel like a pressure that might crack her. Especially if she discovered that Edwin was up to something.

But she was not going to worry her mother about this. Not yet.

“Thank you, Mother,” Susanna replied, her voice wavering just enough to seem convincingly fatigued. “I appreciate your concern, but I promise, all I need is a good night’s rest.”

Her mother reached out, gently brushing a stray lock of hair from her forehead. “If you say so, dear. Just remember, you can always come to me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Susanna assured her. “Good night.”

With a final concerned glance, her mother nodded and left, closing the door softly behind her. Susanna let out a long breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She needed a moment to compose herself, to gather her thoughts.

Tomorrow would be a new day, and it seemed like she was going to have a lot to deal with.