Trapped with the Earl of Sin

Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

T his is a nightmare!

Susanna did not know that it was possible to be so afraid. She had never been so shaky in her whole life. This was not supposed to happen. She was not supposed to get caught investigating Edwin. The idea that everything was about to fall apart right in front of her very eyes was absolutely terrifying. She did not know what she should do.

Thank goodness Martin was in the closet with her.

She clung to him far harder than she would have if they were in public. She needed him, needed his comfort to survive this. Every single sound of Edwin moving about his bedchambers made her so anxious that she could hardly catch her breath. And then she was far too scared to breathe because she did not wish to get caught.

Thank goodness the gun was in Martin’s hand right now. At least Susanna was safe in the knowledge that Edwin could not get hold of it. Unless he swung the door of the closet open and everything got crazy. That was an outcome that Susanna did not even want to think about.

Susanna caught Martin staring down at her with concern plastered across his face. He seemed far more worried about her than Edwin, which Susanna found terribly confusing. How could he not be as petrified as her that everything was about to come crashing down around them?

Suddenly they heard a sound right outside the closet door, which made Susanna jump. It took every ounce of willpower she had not to let out a sound. Her heart was absolutely hammering against her rib cage, she could hardly hear a thing aside from the racing of her pulse and her ragged breaths.

It took her calming down a little to realize that she had practically leapt into Martin’s arms. That might have been embarrassing were she not more afraid of the man outside.

Martin simply held her, and Susanna had to admit that the sensation of his arms around her was comforting. He was warm and clearly very strong. There was a lovely unexpected sensation of joy creeping through her veins. Perhaps this was the knowledge that all of this was wrong, and not what she should be doing at all.

“Ah! Here it is. Edwin, you need to be more careful with your stuff!” he continued to talk to himself outside the closet, but it seemed like his words were more positive now. “You do not want to keep losing things. Your important things. You need all of this, remember?”

It also helped that the footsteps seemed to move away from the closet. It seemed that Edwin was not about to open the door to reveal them any time soon.

Relief absolutely flooded Susanna as the door to the bedchambers opened once more, and it sounded like the footsteps were leaving the room before the door clicked shut and silence followed.

Much as it seemed like they were safe now, Susanna was still far too afraid to move. She was scared to leave the closet in case this was a test and Edwin was waiting for them. It seemed like Martin felt the same way because he did not move either. He continued to hold on to her until the silence had filled the room for quite some time. During that time, Susanna had grown comfortable in his arms.

But then he pulled back just a little, not that there was much room to edge away from her, and he placed the gun back down.

What on earth were they going to do with that gun? How were they going to make Mary and Luke understand how troubling all of this was? They could not move it from the room, not when Edwin was already talking to himself about losing things.

They could not do anything that would alert Edwin to what they were doing.

Especially after her strange moment with him as they were horse riding.

But what were they going to do?

Susanna parted her lips, about to ask all of these questions, but there was something in Martin’s eyes that stopped her. It was a look she had seen a couple of times before, every time she got far too close to this man, but there was something about this time that stopped her in her tracks.

In the enclosed space of the closet, it almost felt like anything could happen. Like this was a separate space from the rest of the world where normal rules did not apply. She was supposed to keep away from this man for so many reasons, her brain knew that, but her body yearned for him. She could not seem to help herself.

Before Susanna even knew what she was doing, she found herself edging a little closer to him. They had not yet exchanged any words, and that made it even better. Without speaking about it, they did not need to let rational thought get in their way. It was not like she needed to ask Martin if he was caught up in this heady lust himself. She could see the flames dancing in his gaze. He did not seem to be the best at keeping his emotions hidden.

Susanna had to admit, she liked that about him.

She enjoyed the clarity she felt around him. Most gentlemen did everything that they could to disguise their emotions, leaving the ladies in their lives constantly confused and guessing until their intentions were made clear by asking for courtship. But Martin was not like that.

Truth be told, he was not like any man she had ever met before.

A passionate shudder tore down her spine as he reached out and gently cupped her cheek. The way he seemed to ignite flames in her skin with the mere touch of his hand was utterly intoxicating. She could not help but drown in a deep, intoxicating desire.

Susanna desperately hoped that nothing would get in the way and ruin this moment before it could really become something this time. This was almost like an experiment that she could not wait to partake in.

Was she crazy?

She certainly felt a little crazy, but in the best way possible.

The moment she felt Martin’s breath tickling her lips, she knew there was no turning back, and Susanna was glad. In this little space, all she wanted to do was devour this man. The closer his lips edged towards hers, the stronger the intense anticipation became.

Then it happened.

The brush of his lips against hers nearly knocked her off her feet entirely.

She knew it would feel electric to have him kissing her, she had already gathered that much because of the powerful chemical reaction between them, but she was not expecting it to be quite so intense and overwhelming. Her heart thundered so hard against her ribcage that it was actually a little painful, but that did not stop her. She rose up on her tiptoes and crashed her lips to his once more. But harder this time and with far more passion.

If Susanna was going to explore this, then she was really going to explore it.

His tongue snaked between her lips, which was a surprising but very pleasant sensation. She matched his movements, following his lead, and the deeper the kiss got, the more she enjoyed it, the more she wanted it. She had butterflies flapping violently in the pit of her stomach, every fiber of her being ached for more. She craved every part of this man… even the parts of him she had not even thought of until this very moment.

Martin leaned into Susanna, pressing her up against the back of the closet. He hitched her leg up so her foot pressed against the wall behind her, and he wedged himself between her thighs. Susanna let out a gasp of pure delight as she started to feel him. All of him. It was very clear that he wanted this to go further too, that he was just as caught up in the passion and pleasure as she was. That only intensified Susanna’s addiction at that moment.

She was flushed, burning up with desire, and actually ached for this man—who she spent half her time plotting with, and the other half arguing—to fully devour her here and now. In the most dangerous place at Standen Abbey. In Edwin’s closet.

An inadvertent moan spilled out of her mouth as she lost track of Martin’s hands. He seemed to be all over her, it was as if he knew her body even better than she knew it, and he wanted her to learn everything there was to know about herself. Susanna craved his teachings. She knew for sure that he would open up her mind and make her experience sensations she had never known until this very moment.

Susanna’s mind raced at the speed of light. The more she got caught up in the heat of the moment, the wilder she felt, the more her brain started to kick in. Unfortunately, it was giving her endless warnings that she did not really want to hear. But maybe she had to hear them, perhaps ruining herself in this closet was not the wisest idea.

As much as she wanted to ignore the voice of reason, Susanna couldn’t entirely push it away. Her body was on fire with desire, but her mind knew the dangers they were courting.

“No,” she suddenly blurted out as the thoughts got too much for her. “No, we must not…”

Thankfully, Martin respected her demands. He stepped back from her the moment she asked him to, but Susanna was struck by how breathless and flustered he was. That was honestly how she felt too. This could have gone far, way too far, and now that the heat was subsiding within her, she realized what a terrible mistake that was. She could have ruined herself entirely for this man, just for a heated moment here.

They needed to stay focused on what they were supposed to be doing here.

But Susanna was so flustered that she could not even recall what they had discovered in Edwin’s room. All she wanted to do was escape. She needed to breathe easier and to get her thoughts in order once more. So she hurriedly smoothed down her clothing and hair, before she met Martin’s eyes once more.

Seeing the confusion in his gaze did not help her at all.

“I… I have to go,” she murmured as she finally braved opening the closet door. Thankfully, there was no one on the other side of it. “I have to…”

But Martin did not even question her. Even as she raced to the door and snuck out of the room before anyone could spot her in there. The dangerous situation she had just put herself in crystallized and intensified within her. She could not believe she had done that. Had she lost her mind?

She no longer wanted to head back to the library, there was no way she could concentrate on a book now. She needed to be alone in her bedchambers so she could gather herself. Susanna did not want anyone to see her in this flustered state.

Susanna rushed down the dimly lit corridors of Standen Abbey, her thoughts a chaotic whirlwind. She needed to regain her composure before she could face anyone, especially Martin. The intensity of their moment in the closet had been overwhelming, and the realization of how close she had come to crossing a line left her shaken.

That was not supposed to happen.

That was never supposed to happen.

Not really.

She had thought about it, of course she had. But that did not mean she ever thought it would happen. She was supposed to have more self-restraint than that. She was supposed to be better.

“Susanna, there you are.”

Her stomach sank along with her heart as she hardly managed to get far at all. But this was her sister, and if Mary needed her, then everything else would be pushed aside. Even the mess she had just made of her own life.

“I have some good news, Susanna,” Mary declared as she drew close enough to her. “There is a dance tonight. A ball at a nearby manor, and we are attending. Is that not exciting? I cannot wait. But I need you to help me pick out my gown.”

A dance?

That was the last thing that Susanna needed, especially while she was feeling this way, but Mary’s expectant eyes overridden that. This was the lead-up to her wedding, and Susanna wanted to do whatever she could to help. Even if that meant pushing her own needs to one side. Even if it meant she would not get a moment to gather herself.

“Of course,” she replied through gritted teeth. “I will help you. I am sure it will be a lot of fun.”

Mary’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she grabbed Susanna’s hand and led her towards her room. “Thank you, Susanna! I knew I could count on you. This ball is going to be perfect, and we need to make sure we look our best.”

As they entered Mary’s room, the space was already a flurry of activity. Dresses were laid out on the bed, and various accessories were scattered across the vanity. Mary immediately began to sort through the gowns, holding up different options and asking for Susanna’s opinion.

“This one, or this one?” Mary asked, holding up a pale blue dress and a rich emerald green gown.

Susanna forced a smile and pointed to the green dress. “The green one, definitely. It complements your eyes beautifully.”

Mary beamed. “I thought so too! Now, what about you? What will you wear?”

Susanna hesitated. The idea of dressing up and attending a ball felt overwhelming, given everything that had just happened. But she could not disappoint Mary. She glanced at the selection of dresses and chose a simple yet elegant lavender gown. “I can wear this one.”

“You will look beautiful in it!” Mary exclaimed. “It has been far too long since we have been to a ball together. I am so excited. I cannot wait to look lovely and twirl around on the dance floor in Luke’s arms. I have not yet had the chance to dance with him since we met at the opera.”

Susanna tried to match Mary’s enthusiasm, but she could not seem to manage it. It was before Duncan’s death, the last time they went to a ball, and Susanna could not help but worry that something tragic might happen again.

Knowing that Edwin had a gun in his closet… that was the most terrifying thing of all.