True Love (The Society #4)

Epilogue – I Just Peed My Pants

Eight Months and Three Weeks Later – Monday – December 30, 2024

Ash

Eight months and three weeks later…

Hardly anyone believed that I got pregnant on my wedding night. Especially after I’d sworn I was pregnant with triplets way back when. But I knew 100% that Tanner had put a baby in me on our wedding night. And I was correct.

I rested my notebook on my big pregnant belly as I listened to Mr. Frost’s pitch for his company – Binder to Billionaire. It was an app designed to teach organization skills for life that weren’t taught in schools.

“So that’s how you can go from binder to billionaire,” said Mr. Frost.

Chastity and Rosalie stood up and started clapping.

His pitch was actually pretty great. Now I kind of wanted to start using binders to stay organized… I shook my head. Who was I kidding? I hated Mr. Frost’s binders. But that didn’t mean the masses wouldn’t love them...

I looked back down at my notebook. I loved listening to investment pitches. My husband was the best. He knew how much I loved Shark Tank. And after our wedding, he also knew I was jobless. So he’d offered to put me, Chastity, and Rosalie in charge of his venture capital division. I loved him so much. Being pregnant and listening to pitches for the last few months...I didn’t think I could be any happier.

And I took my new role very seriously. I’d rewatched every episode of Shark Tank and watched Mr. Wonderful’s every move in preparation. I aimed to be the female version of him in every way. I was now Mrs. Wonderful during these pitches.

“Great presentation, Mr. Frost,” I said. “But I love MONEY. And you didn’t say how much money you’ve made.”

Mr. Frost cleared his throat. “We’re currently pre-revenue, but…”

“So in other words, you haven’t made any money yet? And you expect me to give you a million dollars for 10% of your business? That imputes a ten-million-dollar valuation.”

“Yes, but…”

“I would never do that deal. Where do you think we are? A fish tank instead of a shark tank?”

“Um.” Mr. Frost looked confused. “We’re in neither. We’re at Rhodes Venture Capital.”

“Do I look like a minnow to you?!”

Mr. Frost’s eyes grew round. “No.”

I took a deep breath. “Well, good.” I slowly nodded. “Now, the old me would have absolutely destroyed you over that valuation. But luckily for you, I’ve been going to anger management, so…”

“Have you?” whispered Chastity.

I turned to her and whispered back: “No, of course not. It’s just part of my Mrs. Wonderful persona.” I cleared my throat and turned back to Mr. Frost. “As I was saying. Your valuation is insane. I’d be arrested for murder if I gave you a million dollars for 10% of your business. Because I’d be murdering that money. But luckily for you, I’m very creative. I’ll offer you one million dollars for 30% and a one-dollar royalty on each monthly subscription payment. Eep!”

“Are you okay?” asked Mr. Frost.

I looked down. For some reason my chair had become very wet. Strange.

Chastity looked over. “Did your water just break?”

I laughed. “No way. I’m not due for another 10 days. I think I just peed my pants. Please continue.”

Everyone just stared at me.

Was it something I’d said? Several months ago I would have been mortified about peeing myself in public. But I’d become quite confident after spending so much time around Tanner. A little pee never bothered anyone. Accidents happened. No incident numbers required. I was practically a new woman. “Continue,” I repeated. “What say you to my royalty deal?”

“We don’t have any sales yet,” said Mr. Frost. “But based on my projections, we can scale and monetize very quickly...”

I screamed bloody murder at the searing pain in my stomach. What is happening in my body?!

“Or we could wait to monetize,” corrected Mr. Frost super quickly.

“She wasn’t screaming about monetization,” said Chastity. “She was screaming because she just had a contraction.”

Rosalie nodded. “Yeah, you’re definitely about to have your baby… ”

“Nope,” I said through gritted teeth. I sighed when the pain went away. That was strange. Bodies were so weird sometimes. “This baby isn’t coming for another week.”

“First children are usually late,” said Mr. Frost. “So it might not even come until after that.”

I nodded. “You’re a genius. Okay, I’m convinced. You can have a million dollars for 10% of Binder to Billionaire. Actually, let’s make it two million for 10%.” I was always going to give him a deal anyway to make up for cheating on him during our whole fake fiancé thing. But clearly the man was brilliant. He was going to make us a ton of money. Besides, it was like Tanner always said...a million dollars was basically pennies.

“Ah!” I screamed as another contraction hit. “Okay, yeah. This baby is definitely coming. If you’ll excuse me.” I threw my notebook and ran out of the pitch room holding my giant pregnant belly. “Sweet sweet nipple meat!” I yelled. “Sweet sweet nipple meat!”

“Why is she yelling that?” asked Rosalie behind me.

I knew people were staring, but I didn’t care one bit.

“It’s their code word for her water breaking,” said Chastity. “Where is Tanner?!”

Tanner’s receptionist pointed to his office.

“Sweet sweet nipple meat!” I yelled as I burst into his office.

Tanner looked up from his desk. “Seriously?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?!” I screamed.

He got up and put his hands on my stomach, like that would somehow help .

“I need a doctor!” I yelled. “Not a tummy rub!”

Tanner snapped his fingers. And all of us were teleported to the sex hallway at Club Onyx.

“Tanner! I love you, but what the hell?! I need to go to the hospital! Not a sex club! This is hardly the time for coitus!” God I hated how I always quoted Nigel now. But that’s what happened when you lived with the lad.

Tanner pointed to the door with a red cross on it.

“Oh.”

A sexy nurse rushed out and put me on a gurney. And then she rolled me into an operating room.

“So what can we do for you today?” the sexy nurse said as she twirled her stethoscope around seductively.

“Deliver this baby!” I screamed.

“A baby, huh? How do you want me to deliver it?”

What the fuck was she talking about?

She put a latex glove on and snapped it. “Do you want me to reach my entire arm inside of you while your dear husband watches?”

What? No! “Absolutely not.”

“You’re right. That sounds messy. I better take my top off.” She stripped out of her blouse and tossed her bra at my face.

“Tanner!” I screamed. “I want a real nurse! Not a sexy one!”

For the first time ever, Tanner looked a little flustered.

“We do have real nurses here,” he said. “Some of the best in the city.”

“Who are they? ”

“I can’t remember! Give me a second.” He grabbed his phone to check the Society records, but his hand was shaking so badly that he dropped his phone.

I’d never seen Tanner freak out like this before.

And him freaking out made me freak out.

The nurse went over to him with her tits out. “You seem tense. Can I do anything to calm you down?”

“Uh, yes. Go get Dr. Lyons.”

“For the love of God, no! Anyone but Dr. Lyons!”

Rosalie laughed. “You know that Dr. Lyons doesn’t hang out here anymore. I mean Anthony. Since he’s engaged to me...”

“Oh, right,” said Tanner. “What about, um...”

“I’m going to kill everyone in this room!” I screamed at the top of my lungs when another contraction hit.

The nurse ran out of the room.

“Ahhhhhhh!” I screamed and glared at everyone left.

“#PregnancyRage,” whispered Chastity.

“I will cut you!” My anger suddenly evaporated and I was sobbing. “Tanner, help me! It hurts.”

Tanner snapped his fingers.

And a blue bundle appeared in my arms. Oh my God. Awwwwww. The perfect little angel. His little face. And his little nose. And his wild red hair sticking up in every direction. He was perfect. And he was already cleaned up and everything. I’d totally skipped the hard part. Wait. I looked up at Tanner. “Why didn’t you do that sooner?!”

“You said you wanted to have a natural birth. And this was all very stressful for me. ”

“Stressful for you?! I was the one…”

Our baby made a little noise.

I looked down and totally forgot about everything when our little dude opened his eyes and stared up at me.

But then I bent over and screamed again.

“What is happening to her?!” yelled Chastity. “Did you magically hurt her innards somehow?”

“No.” Tanner shook his head. “Baby, what’s wrong...”

I screamed. “It’s another contraction!”

Tanner shook his head again. “That’s not possible. I got him out. He’s right there.” He pointed to the baby like I didn’t see him.

I bent over in pain and Tanner rushed to my side.

“Are you sure it’s another contraction...” he started.

I screamed. “Get it out of me!”

“Okay. On it.” He snapped again and a pink bundle appeared in my other arm.

There were two of them. I blinked. “How are there two of them?”

“Ah it’s twins!” said Chastity.

I kept staring at the little dudes. Two of them. Most people would have known they were having twins. But Tanner had said he didn’t trust modern medicine. So I’d never gone to see a doctor. He’d just invented some kind of watch for me to wear to make sure everything was fine. And I guess everything had been doubly fine.

Both babies had wild red hair. One girl. One boy.

Tanner put his hand on my forehead, pushing my hair out of my face. And then he stared down at our babies. “They’re so small,” he whispered .

“Do you want to hold them?”

Tanner sat down on the edge of the gurney. “No, I’ll just watch you hold them.”

I laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous.” I leaned forward, depositing the little bundle of pink into his arms.

Tanner stared down at her.

He was great with kids. We were always surrounded at events with our friends’ children. But he looked almost scared of his own daughter. Like he was worried she might break. But maybe he was worried about that. He was used to being invincible. And I knew how scary it was for the world to be so fragile.

“So small,” he said again. Tears welled in the corners of Tanner’s eyes. “She looks just like you. She’s beautiful.”

“That is a lot of red hair.”

He lifted his gaze from the baby and stared at me. “I never thought I’d have my own children. I...I...”

“I know.” I reached out and grabbed his hand. And then I put our little boy into his other arm. I stared at Tanner holding our babies. Babies. Two! I couldn’t believe we’d had twins! I felt tears trailing down my cheeks and quickly wiped them away.

Tanner was my whole world. And it was strange for my world to suddenly be so much bigger.

We’d made these babies. And they were a piece of him. So I knew they were magical.

“I have to call shmoopie poo to tell him the good news,” said Chastity and pulled out her phone.

I threw up a little in my mouth. I really hated the name she used for her fiancé. It made me very uncomfortable. Especially when she’d say shmoopie poo and they’d start making out in front of me.

But she was interrupted when Nigel burst into our delivery room.

“Abuelo’s here! Abuelo’s here!” yelled Nigel. “Ah! Two grandchildren!” He pulled the babies into his arms. “I’m a lucky abuelo! Two little redheaded demons they are. And all mine.” He made a silly face down at them.

“Is that what he’s going by?” I asked Tanner. “Abuelo?”

Tanner shrugged. “He did say he wanted grandchildren of his own.”

Chastity lifted the little girl out of Nigel’s arms.

“I’m so excited to be an auntie,” said Rosalie and peered down at the little girl.

“I’m just excited you had a girl so we can pass on the Single Girl Rules to her,” said Chastity as she rocked her back and forth.

“NO,” me and Tanner both said at the same time.

We looked at each other and laughed.

Rosalie pulled out her phone. “I’m going to go tell Anthony the news. I’ll be back.” She blew me a kiss and walked out of the room.

I was glad she didn’t invite Dr. Lyons to the delivery room. I was still getting used to him being around. In a weird twist of fate, I’d rather see Matthew Caldwell than Dr. Lyons. Who knew.

Tanner put his arm around my back.

“What do you think our babies will be like?” I asked. “Will the girl be like me? And have incidents? ”

“I hope so,” said Tanner with a smile. “I’d love another little you.”

I couldn’t stop smiling. “And I hope our son is just like you. Going around saying ridiculous things.”

“Ridiculous things?” Tanner pretended to be shocked.

“Are you stalking me, baby?” I said in a deep voice, mimicking how he usually did it.

“You love when I say that.”

I smiled. “I really do.”

We were both quiet as we stared at our friends adoring our twins.

“Wait,” I said. “What are we going to do about names?”

“Well, we had a girl’s name picked out already,” said Tanner. “And a boy’s name. I guess we’re using both.”

“You still like them?”

Tanner smiled. “I think they work even better now that we know they both have red hair.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.”

Nigel handed our son back to Tanner.

And Chastity handed our daughter back to me.

I stared down at the bundle of pink. “Skadi.” I turned to the bundle of blue. “Thorin.” I looked up at Tanner. “Yeah, that’s definitely them.”

Tanner leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“I can’t wait to dress Thorin up in colorful little tuxedos. With the wittlest shoes.” My heart was melting.

Tanner laughed. “One custom Odegaard babies line, coming right up. ”

Skadi was so calm in my arms. She yawned and her eyelids slowly closed.

But Thorin was spastic. He was kicking and making cute little noises. He was looking all around with his big eyes. Actually, he looked slightly terrified of his surroundings.

“I think maybe Skadi is more like me,” said Tanner. “And Thorin is more like you.”

I laughed. “Why would you say that?”

“Have you not seen how your son is behaving? Like the world around him is a threat?”

“That hardly sounds like me.” But...shoot. I did see it. The poor lad was definitely going to be the one having all the incidents. Sorry, son. If Matthew Caldwell walked into the room right now, Thorin would probably fling himself at the window. We’d have to double check the thickness of the glass in the nursery...

“They’re perfect,” said Tanner.

“You’re perfect.” I smiled up at him.

Tanner placed a soft kiss against my lips.

Nigel cleared his throat. He was holding two baby tubs. “Is it time for the babies’ first baths?”

“I think it’s a little soon for that,” said Tanner.

“It’s never too soon for a bath, Master Tanner.”

I laughed. “Nigel, you don’t have to work. You’re a grandfather!”

He beamed up at me.

“Just enjoy the moment with us.”

“Baths are enjoying the moment. But if you insist.” He tossed the tubs to the side and jumped onto the bed with us.

Chastity laughed and hopped onto the bed too .

I stared around at our little family. Our kids would get to grow up with all our friends’ children. And they’d be loved so much by us and our friends. One big happy family.

I looked back up at my husband. I smiled when I saw that he was already staring down at me.

“What are you thinking?” I whispered.

“That you’ve given me everything I could have ever dreamed of. This is so much better than immortality.” He reached over and peered down at Skadi as he held Thorin close.

“This?” I asked.

He smiled. “Yes this .” He dropped his forehead to mine. “True love.”

* * *