True Wolf (Bennett Pack #3)

4. Nessah

CHAPTER FOUR

NESSAH

I shoved the last of my things into my duffle and glanced around the bedroom which had been my place of peace for the past three months. My heart clenched with the realization that once again I would have to leave.

There was comfort in knowing I wouldn’t be alone this time. However, that comfort was matched by the guilt I felt from my cousin Mina choosing to go also. This was her pack, and because of me, she was leaving.

“It’s my choice, Nessah. Don’t feel bad.” Her voice startled me and brought a frown to my face. When I peeked over my shoulder to find Mina standing in the doorway, she smiled.

“I don’t.”

“You do. I feel your conflict loud as fuck.”

I blocked my thoughts as soon as she left me at the coffee shop. Allowing access was dangerous considering all the mixed emotions and fears circulating through my head about Zion. There would be hell to pay if I mistakenly let someone in and they were privy to how I didn’t prevent their beloved Alpha from fleeing. After all they had done to welcome me as a member of the Bennett pack, they would surely turn against me in light of my betrayal.

“This is my mess to fix, not yours.”

“We’re not having this discussion again.” She did a slow perusal around the room. “Do you have everything?”

I nodded stiffly. “Yes, I didn’t have much.”

When I was exiled from my pack, the only thing I was granted was a duffle bag, where my mother pulled together a few articles of clothing, a handful of cash, and the keys to what my father considered a disposable vehicle. It was an older model, with decent mileage, and not befitting of the new image they would take on once my sister mated our pack Alpha. Who I was promised to until they found out I wasn’t fit to marry him.

“Okay then…” She flashed a smile. “Let’s get out of here.”

I nodded once more, lifted my bag, and followed Mina out of the room, taking in the small, cozy apartment I’d called home for the past couple months. It was nice. A modern high-rise apartment, where every square foot was designed for comfort and style.

I instantly fell in love with the open-concept, bathed in natural light, thanks to floor-to-ceiling windows that offered stunning city views. The decor created a serene atmosphere, while plush furnishings made it possible to unwind after a long day. The Bennett pack took care of their members. It hurt my heart that we were leaving.

“These are only things, Nessah. They come and go. We’ll have them again.”

I scowled at Mina. “Would you stop that?”

“Stop what?” She arched her brow and paired it with a teasing smile.

“Reading me.”

Her laugh was contagious. “You’re easy to read, even without access to that pretty little head of yours, now let’s go.”

She crossed the room to the door and I followed her only to freeze in place when someone knocked. My pulse quickened and based on the look Mina delivered she felt the same rush of panic. I quickly took possession of her suitcase, yanked the backpack from her arm, and pulled open the coat closet. After dropping and shoving our things inside, I motioned to the door.

“Answer it.”

“We shouldn’t,” she whispered back.

“No, we should. If it’s important, they won’t go away. They’ll come in and find us gone. We can stall and explain away whatever they want but we don’t need anyone coming in to find out we’ve packed up all our things. It would look odd. You’re happy here. I’m happy here. With no explanation as to why we’re leaving, they’ll be suspicious. Answer the door, Mina.”

She exhaled a slow breath and nodded, plastering on a smile as she walked to the door. “Yes…”

“Mina, hey, it’s Jo. Can I come in?”

Oh shit.

Our eyes fastened again and I motioned for Mina to let her in. A short moment later we were face to face with Joelle Bennett, the pack Luna. She was beautiful with her wild orange hair and soft brown skin that glowed under the overhead fluorescent lights illuminating the hallway. Jo offered a tense expression.

“Luna…” Mina nodded. “Is everything okay?”

Jo’s smile expanded. “Yes, everything’s fine. Sorry to interrupt but I wanted to see if you could help me out with something. Last minute, of course. So if you can’t, I totally understand, but if you can, I would be forever grateful.”

Mina glanced at me over her shoulder then turned back to Jo. “We were kinda busy. Is it important?”

Denying Jo wasn’t something most did. Not simply because she was Luna but mostly because Jo was so kind to everyone. She went above and beyond for the entire pack and never presented herself as the Luna she was. Jo was just Jo no matter how much of a leader we all understood her to be.

“Very, actually. I’m sure you heard earlier that Zion is coming home. We’re doing a pack dinner and celebration for him. I had someone in place to decorate but they’ve had a family emergency and can’t do it. She already purchased everything but she had a vision that I can’t begin to pull together. That’s not really my thing but Camren mentioned you were good at stuff like that. You know, seeing a vision and bringing it to life. I really want tonight to be perfect so if you could, I would be forever grateful. And when I say last minute, I truly mean last minute. You only have an hour…”

“An hour…oh wow. I’m sure, Nessah wouldn’t mind delaying our plans for a bit.”

She glanced at me and I shot her an evil glare because what the fuck. She understood the importance of us leaving now.

“Thank you so much. One less thing I have to stress about. Laz has been pushing for me to delegate this celebration, and I considered, but it’s Zion. It’s personal and I want everything perfect for his return considering…” She paused and her brows pinched but the expression was quickly replaced with a smile. “He’s family so we should welcome him home as such.”

“Understood and we’ll do just that. I love a good challenge so don’t worry about the last minute part.”

“You’re amazing, thanks again. Whatever resources you need will be at your disposal. Just let me know.”

“I will.”

“Okay great, thanks again. I’m forever indebted to you for this.” Jo offered a warm smile.

“Oh, having our Luna forever indebted is extra motivation.” Mina grinned and my heartbeat increased, already knowing what she was hinting at. She couldn’t fix this.

“Well I will be. Anything you need, anything at all, you come to me.” Jo left and the second Mina shut the door behind her she threw her hands up.

“I know, I know, but this is a prime opportunity.”

“How?” I yelled. “Do you honestly believe that party planning is going to be a fair exchange for ruining Zion’s life?”

Mina rolled her eyes. “You didn’t ruin his life, Nes. He simply went on sabbatical but is home now. All is well.”

“He wasn’t on sabbatical; he was traveling through unwelcoming pack territories searching for me, his fated mate, when I was right here enjoying the lap of luxury that his pack offered while they were worried sick about him.”

“I know, just hear me out…” She grabbed my hand and I snatched it away.

“Jo is not going to forgive you, and if Jo doesn’t as Luna, the pack will follow her lead and they will hate me also. I let him leave, and now that you’ve made this promise, I have to reject him because what Alpha will be willing to mate a wolf that can’t do the simple duty of providing him with a legacy.”

“You don’t know that you can’t.”

“Yes I do. It’s why they made me leave. Sula prophesied our future and do you know what she saw? Rolf’s legacy ending with him because I can’t have children.”

Mina blinked a few times. She had no idea why I was so adamant about not accepting Zion as my mate or why I was determined to reject him. I had only told her partial truths about what happened.

“Is that what happened? That’s why they made you leave and offered Neyla to him in your place? You can’t have children?”

I shook my head and quickly swiped a tear that fell. “No, I can’t.”

“Oh hell, Nessah. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it fucking hurts. They chose her over me. They chose the status of one of their daughters being mated to the Alpha heir that could promise them with status and prestige over me? Why would I want to relive such devastation and disappointment?”

“I’m so sorry.” She threw her arms around me, hugged me tightly, and guided me to the sofa where we sat side by side. “But how can you be sure? There’s no guarantee with magic. Witches get things wrong. You might be able to have kids and if that’s the only reason you want to reject Zion then…”

“They do get things wrong but what if this is not one of those times? What if I accepted the bond and he has no legacy because of me? He’s a pure blood, Mina. Do you know how devastating that would be?”

She blinked a few times, then her eyes softened. She understood and she agreed.

“We can…”

“No we can’t. You stay, I’m leaving. I can’t risk running into him. Leaving is better than having to reject him. Zion can’t know about me.”

She spoke quietly. “He already knows.”

“Not really. He assumed Keerah was his mate.”

“She’s not and he knows that now so he’ll be unsettled if you leave.”

“He’ll be miserable if I stay. Rejection is painful, catastrophic, and very ugly.”

“It will be all of those things for both of you.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“It should be.” Mina frowned hard.

“Well it’s not. I love you. We’ll see each other soon, but right now, the best thing I can do is get away from here before I make things far worse than they already are.”

I lifted from the sofa, collected my things out the closet, and hugged my cousin.

“I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be, I’ll be fine. I just need to get away from here.”

She released a defeated sigh. “Well at least unblock me so I know you’re okay.”

Unblocking her meant giving others access to my thoughts and if I slipped up…

“I can’t…”

“Just until I know you’re away from here and safe.”

Safe.

Would I ever be safe knowing I was fated to a Bennett Alpha?

“Okay.”

I reached for the door and she grabbed my arm to stop me. Her expression was serious and concerned. “I mean it, Nessah.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

Once I was out of her apartment, I took the stairs to the first level, grateful that she was only on the second floor. As soon as I stepped into the elevator that would take me to the garage I relaxed and slumped against the cool metal framing.

I wished I knew what I had done to deserve such a lonely and tragic fate. Life shouldn’t be this complicated. At some point I needed to catch a break.

In the garage, I hurried to my car, tossed my duffel in the backseat, and dropped into the driver’s side, releasing a sigh of relief. Once again I was on my own and as much as my heart hurt, I had to be thankful that I was making a clean break because things would end tragically if I stayed. However, my thoughts drifted to Zion. As much as I wanted to pretend he didn’t matter, the lie was hard to swallow.

He’s my mate…

And you’ll be his disappointment.

Zion will be much better off without you. If you stay, he’ll hate you and you’ll hate yourself for ruining his life.

“I have to get out of here,” I murmured before I pressed the button to start my car but before I could make my quick escape, I realized that break I was praying for most certainly wouldn’t be happening.

My door was yanked open and a pair of angry, glowing eyes that belonged to one of the last people I wanted to see locked in on me.

“Why would my brother hate you and why do you think you’ll ruin his life…” Lazar growled in a low, threatening tone.

My mouth dropped open to respond but he quickly cut me off with a deadly warning.

“And before you answer, please understand that a threat against my brother is a threat against me and this entire pack…”

I slammed my mouth shut and decided silence was the best play for now, even if it cost me more than I was willing to pay.