‘Twas the Love Before Christmas

15. Catherine

Chapter fifteen

Catherine

H earing that there was only one bed in the room didn’t entirely surprise me. However, I couldn’t help but feel slightly awkward. For the first time since I had ended the relationship with Alex, I would have to share a bed. Not with just anyone, either. Noah was technically one of my exes.

This was despite my bubbling feelings for Noah that I couldn’t put into words. They weren’t the same as when we had been together in high school and our first year of college. Now they were much stronger. I remembered watching him at the high school games… I hadn’t thought about that in years. Now, I daydreamed about seeing him play again because I missed being there to cheer him on. I hadn’t expected these feelings to result from getting to know Noah all over again. Time was a funny thing.

And the thought of sharing a bed made me anxious. Did he still snore? Would he sprawl over me? Would he care that I now curled up in a ball as I slept, sometimes shoving my way into the middle of the bed? Or would he not mind as long as he could get some sleep too?

I sat down with my plate full of delicious-smelling food. A cinnamon roll, eggs, and some fresh fruit sat there, all waiting for me to start eating. Noah joined me a moment later, but now I was more interested in the architecture and the décor in the dining area.

Whoever decorated this place really leaned into the idea of a hunting lodge, so I wasn’t entirely surprised to find that the chairs and tables were all wooden. But the room was warmed by a garland of holly leaves and berries going around each wall, creating a place to hang some lights and ornaments. It wasn’t the only show of Christmas spirit here, but it was one of the best. I loved the idea of seeing garlands with ornaments and lights. That was usually the job of the Christmas tree.

Unfortunately, the bed and breakfast didn’t have space for a tree, so this was how they made do.

“This place is beautiful,” I said to Noah when I finally zoned back in. “How long has it been here?”

“This used to be a hunting lodge when we were in high school,” he said. “I came a few times with my dad. They just turned it into a bed and breakfast a few years ago. Since we always have somewhere to stay when we come home, we’ve never really needed to know that it was here. But one of my teammates insisted on staying elsewhere one year, and he stayed here. That’s how I learned about it.”

“I see.”

I pursed my lips but didn’t say anything more. Instead, I started to eat. The cinnamon roll melted in my mouth, and the rest of the food was great. I was glad we had found our “refuge” just in time.

I pulled out my phone while eating and quickly texted Rebecca that I had stopped at a bed and breakfast for the night instead of driving all the way home. Hopefully, she’d understand why. I had already texted my parents about the situation, and they were just glad I was safe. Noah’s presence on the road had really been a blessing. As my dad was fond of saying, “A car can be replaced, but a person can’t.”

Now, sitting with Noah, I found myself unable to find many topics to discuss.

“It’s odd, huh?” I started, hoping that this would at least break the ice. “We’ve both been home together multiple times in the last decade but have never really had the time to talk. Now that we have the time to talk, I feel as though I don’t know what to say. Almost like I really don’t know you anymore. It’s a sad state of affairs.”

Noah raised an eyebrow but finished his food before he said anything. I wasn’t expecting much at first. As I continued to pick at the fruit, he cleared his throat.

“I was just thinking the same thing about not having been able to really chat before,” he said. “I suppose that’s what happens when life gets in the way of old friendships: once you have a chance to come together again, you hardly know what to say.”

“I have followed your career,” I said. “A little, anyway. I knew which team you were playing for. I couldn’t always watch the games because they tended to be when I was busy with a project or hanging out with friends, but I looked up each game’s result.”

“Oh? And what did you think of the ones you did watch?”

“I used to think that I had given up a great friend to get what I wanted in life, but I was always happy for you,” I said. “Sometimes I wanted to text you, but I never knew what to say or what you’d be doing.”

“I would have loved to get a text from you, no matter what I was doing or whether I was in a relationship,” he said. “One of my first girlfriends in college said it was a bad thing to keep in touch with exes, but I always hoped I would hear from you.”

“A bad thing in general or in specific circumstances?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

That sounded like it had a loaded history, and I was interested in what he was trying to convey. Had he shared how we had broken up with his college girlfriend, and that was why it was considered a bad thing to still be in touch with me?

However, instead of immediately saying anything, Noah’s cheeks started to turn red. Perhaps I’d touched a nerve or sensitive topic. There was always something in our lives that we wanted to keep private, after all. For me, it was just how boring the relationship with Alex had gotten after a certain time. Painting a broad picture didn’t show just how horrible it was to be with someone who didn’t want to go out on the weekends when all week long, we had been sitting in the apartment and doing very little together.

I hoped, sincerely, that Alex got his act together and found a woman who wanted that or found a way to cope with going out after a long, stressful week at work. But she wasn’t me.

And, after the way we had struggled to compromise, I didn’t think Noah would want to try again. There was only so much in life that one could put up with. And from the way I had brought a blush to his cheeks, I suspected Noah didn’t want to be asked thousands of questions each day.

“Well… she suspected that I still had feelings for you, despite this relationship being two years after we first broke up. I did my best to tell her that the break-up had been friendly and that we had decided to pursue other people because our expectations for life did not match up, but she wouldn’t hear it. She had had exes that had kept in touch with past girlfriends only to cheat on her with them… and I think she was scared that I would do the same to her. So, well, she ended it there.”

Our conversation fell into another lull, but now I had finished my food. There was no excuse for me to be quiet. Instead of accepting that, I cleaned my plate off before putting it in the dirty dish bin. Noah followed a moment later.

We both walked out to the lobby. I wasn’t entirely sure how we were going to handle tonight being, well, the only night that we were sharing a room since we had broken up. Noah headed right to the bathroom in the lobby, and I decided to stay in the dining room for a few more minutes just to soak up the ambiance.

As much as I wished there was a Christmas tree in the area, I understood that it could be a fire hazard in the dining room and that there simply wasn’t much room for one in the lobby. They could have done it if they had changed the seating around. I didn’t blame the owners for not wanting to move everything, though. The furniture looked heavy. This way, all they needed to do was move a decently lit garland around once it had been uncoiled.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

An older woman walked over to me, and I recognized her as the woman at the front desk.

“Indeed. Beautiful. I’m Catherine St. James,” I said.

“What a pleasant name. I’m Amanda Woods,” she said with a smile. “My husband and I own this inn. I noticed you and your friend having something of a conversation, but perhaps some fun would help with that.”

She now held up a bag of marshmallows as Noah returned. I got the sense that Mrs. Woods had been a bit of a troublemaker in her youth, as there was a gleam in her eyes that I recognized from when Chris had been younger. I raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want to roast marshmallows, you two?” Mrs. Woods asked, now holding the marshmallows out for one of us to take. “The rest of our guests have already headed to their rooms for the night, and I do not believe they would begrudge you a bit of Christmas delight in roasting marshmallows in the fireplace.”

“Oh, it sounds absolutely lovely, Mrs. Woods. Thank you,” I said.

Noah took the bag of marshmallows, though I could tell he was uncomfortable with that. Perhaps it was just the implications of what Mrs. Woods had said. We were no longer a couple, but in some respects, I could see how Mrs. Woods could mistake us for a couple. Or as a couple who had only just been dating and had gotten stranded on our first trip together – hence the awkward conversations.

We walked into the living room to find that Mrs. Woods was right. Most of the other patrons had left to go up to their rooms. A couple of people were still in the lobby charging up their phones, but I supposed they would soon be leaving to do that in their room. We picked up a roasting stick each and stuck a marshmallow on the end.

“And I can make some hot cocoa, if you’d like, to have with those marshmallows,” Mrs. Woods said.

“Some hot cocoa would be appreciated, thank you,” Noah said.

“Two, please,” I added.

Mrs. Woods nodded and walked away to get that done. I sat in front of the fireplace as Noah carefully moved the grate out of our way so we could roast the marshmallows. With neither of us being children, I figured it would be safe enough. Besides, we were only roasting marshmallows. How could that go wrong?