‘Twas the Love Before Christmas

19. Catherine

Chapter nineteen

Catherine

A fter such a dreamy sleigh ride, I was somewhat annoyed to wake up the next morning to the sun on my face. Dreams of Noah helping me out of the sleigh last night reminded me of what a sweetheart he is, and now I wished for nothing more than to repeat that sleigh ride. As I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom to freshen up, our conversation replayed in my head a thousand times. Despite its hurdles, we both agreed that our relationship had been one of the best ones we’d had in all our adult years.

It seems he’d also struggled to find a deep connection with someone else. The other men I had dated since Noah had been very resistant to opening up to me like that. It was as if they were afraid to commit. Even Alex had resisted the idea of opening up and allowing me to know him more intimately than just his favorite foods and colors. I wanted to know his dreams, worries, fears, and everything in between – no matter how shallow or deep it was to him. At least, that was my expectation for those I dated.

Once I had finished in the bathroom, I headed downstairs with less of a stumble in my step. Instead of smelling the freshly made breakfast my mother was known for, I found my parents getting ready to head out. They were at the front door. Dad was putting on his shoes while Mom was making sure her purse was packed for the day.

“Where are you two headed at this hour?” I asked.

Then, I glanced at the clock in the hallway. Sometimes, I forgot it was there because it was so high to avoid being covered by seasonal decorations. The clock read nine in the morning. Huh. I supposed I slept in a little bit to make it to nine this morning.

“We’re going to be in Brighton all day,” Mom said. “We’re going to brunch with Melissa and Paul West and then out to shop. You know our numbers and can text us if you need anything.”

I nodded slowly, still half asleep. However, I did like the idea of having the day to myself. It had been a long week full of different activities. And once Chris arrived, I was sure that we were going to be enjoying his company, too. It wasn’t anything to be worried about or stressed about. But having some time to decompress and pretend nothing else was happening would be great.

“Have a good time. Drive safe. Maybe take the truck,” I said as they started to head out the door. “The roads to Brighton were a nightmare a couple of days ago.”

With that, my parents left with a wave. The front door shut, and I walked into the kitchen. While my mother was best known for her cooking skills, I had inherited some of that.

Instead of just making myself a bowl of cereal, I made some pancakes topped with fresh berries that Mom had bought for something else that had never happened. I also added a little whipped cream for good measure. Mmm.

Once I took my last bite, I loaded up the dishwasher. It was a simple chore, but my mother would appreciate coming home to clean dishes.

Then, I walked into the living room to watch some television… and it hit me. The reason I had been trying to get out of the house the whole time I had been home was because I felt left out. The decorations had already been put up despite my voicing that I wanted to help this year. Even my stocking was already hung up, neatly aligned on the fireplace mantle with the rest of the stockings for the family. Right down to the topper on the Christmas tree.

My heart sank as I realized that all the decorations had already been put up – even some of my favorites I had wanted to put up.

I could understand that my parents had their own lives, but I had been home for a while now. I wasn’t coming in on Christmas Eve like Chris was.

Instead of watching television and sulking in the living room, I headed upstairs to my room. It didn’t take me long to put on a good pair of pants, some long socks, and a long-sleeved tee shirt. After going downstairs, I put on my coat, boots, and a scarf. I grabbed a spare set of house keys and headed out the door for a walk.

I didn’t really have any place in mind where I wanted to end up, but my feet seemed to have an idea of where to go. Instead of paying much attention, I attempted to block out how lonely this Christmas was. I realized my parents were busy, but I had asked them to save some of those things for me to do when I arrived home. I’d texted asking if I could pick up the nativity, now that the live nativity was all done. They had already done that on their way out to Brighton, even though I could have done that today. I could have pulled out the decorations, spent all morning decorating, and all the decorations still would have been up in time for Chris to arrive on Christmas Eve. They had already put everything up before I arrived, claiming that they didn’t think I still wanted to do that since I hadn’t followed up with any questions about it.

That was when I realized I had ended up near the high school. Perhaps the old footbridge was still there… so I turned off the main sidewalk onto a path that was somewhat covered with snow. The groundskeepers at the school had done their best to keep this path clear, but there was just too much snow. It had been trampled down but was still somewhat tricky to traverse.

Eventually, I made it down to the old footbridge. The water had frozen over, and I took a moment to lean against the railing.

The first thing that came to mind standing there was that I had had one of the best kisses of my life here. Noah and I had walked this path after the Winter Ball of our senior year of high school. It hadn’t been the easiest walk in our formal wear, but it had been worth it.

The way the stars lit up the sky that night still makes my heart patter , I thought as I closed my eyes, remembering when Noah pressed his lips to mine.

It hadn’t been our first kiss, but it had been one of the most memorable ones. Of course, a year later, we had the infamous talk that set the tone for our break-up, but I preferred to remember that we had had a great relationship. Even as we had grown more distant over the years, it had never been because of an argument or someone else trying to cut into our relationship. It was simply because of timing and distance and the years we didn’t overlap at home for Christmas.

Now that he was to retire, he’d have plenty of time on his hands. He had to be doing something to keep himself from going nuts at home. Besides, it didn’t sound like he had been advertising that everywhere, but I was sure he had a plan. He had sounded sure of his wish to work, regardless of what position that put him in.

I shook my head and started walking again.

“It’s all old news, Catherine. As beautiful as the memories are, that’s all they’ll be. There’s no point in allowing your heart to run the fantasies now,” I muttered as I continued to walk the path.

The walk did my head good as I returned home. I was less upset about the way that my wishes for decorations had been disregarded. It was my parents’ home, not mine. I could decorate however I liked at home in California. Perhaps I will next year, no matter what my plans might be.

As I neared home, I noticed Noah putting lights on his parents’ porch – literally. He was hanging lights on the porch pillars, wrapping them to show the colors as prettily as possible. I swore I saw Wally on the porch, too, so I tried to quietly get up to the door of my parents’ home. It wouldn’t do any good for Wally to run to me.

Except, the next thing I heard was barking, excited barking. It only took a couple of moments for me to be butt-first in the snow with Wally in my face, nuzzling me. I laughed a little and gave him some pets for good measure.

“Good boy, Wally.” I smiled as he looked between Noah and me as if he was unsure of what to do now. “Go home, Wally. Go on.”

“Wally!”

Even Noah’s voice couldn’t get Wally to leave me alone because he kept nuzzling me as I stood up. And the moment I got up, I went back down into the snow. I could only laugh at this point because it was clear that Wally wanted my attention. I kneeled in the snow instead of trying to get up entirely and started to give him some more pets.

His tail started wagging in the snow, and he just looked at Noah before barking as if asking Noah to come and join us.

“Wally! Get over here,” Noah called.

Wally steadfastly remained by my side. I laughed a little. Noah heaved a sigh and headed toward me. Instead of saying anything, I remained in the snow so that Wally wouldn’t have any reason to run further away from Noah.

“I’m sorry, Noah,” I said as he walked over. “I didn’t intend to catch Wally’s attention.”

“At least he’s with you and not with anyone else,” Noah said with a smile. “You’re the only person so far who’s been able to make him disobey orders – despite your attempts to send him home, too. I appreciate that you tried.”

“Well, I mean, he’s not my dog. Hey, what’s up with the porch lights? I didn’t think your parents did that any longer,” I said, motioning toward the porch as I got up.

This time, Wally allowed me to stand up, sitting between Noah and myself. I appreciated that he wasn’t going to make Noah and me chase him all over the neighborhood.

“I’ve decided to put up all the decorations for my parents,” he said proudly. “It’s been taking a while, though. I forget how much my mother loves Christmas. We have more Christmas decorations than we do for all the other holidays combined, which is saying something. She has porch lights, inflatables, a Christmas tree and the corresponding ornaments, lights for the roof… and more. I swear, she just went ham one year as if she was given gift cards to all of the big-name stores that sell this stuff.”

I laughed a little. Both of our mothers loved the Christmas season. My mother preferred to have a variety of seasonal plateware, so I didn’t get the same effect as he did, but I could understand the annoyance.

“Well, that sounds lovely,” I said. “My parents have already put up all the decorations. Hey, have you put up the tree yet? I recall promising to help you out with that.” Perhaps, if he hadn’t, I could alleviate some of the loneliness and help out.

“I’ve not done that yet. I was getting all the outdoor lights done first so I could spend the rest of the day inside. Do you want to join me?”

“I think that’s a great idea.”

With that, we both started toward his parents’ house.