‘Twas the Love Before Christmas

21. Catherine

Chapter twenty-one

Catherine

T he next night, I got ready for the dance in much the same manner I might have gotten ready for any other big night out, but this time there was a touch of delight in the usual routine—unexpected little bubbles, like a glass of champagne in my heart. I shaved my legs, took a good bath, and pampered my skin. I opted for a simple yet festive makeup look with a glowing base, warm bronzer, subtle highlighter, a touch of shimmering eyeshadow, and a terracotta, earthy pink for my lips. I had also put my hair up in a French braid low bun to show off the back of the dress. All the good things.

Now, I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my room as I looked at the dress I had decided to wear tonight. It was one of the few dresses I had left at home, and because I hadn’t planned to attend a dance while I was home, having not really thought about the Christmas Dance, I had to work with the wardrobe I’d left here. It was the red dress from the Winter Ball my senior year. I could wear the capelet with it or easily remove it later, as it was connected with several small dark red buttons.

I was a little shocked that it still fit, honestly. I guess I had been a couple of pounds heavier in high school, but my shape was more womanly than that of a young girl. All those workouts through the years had left me trim, albeit with some curves I hadn’t had in my younger years. Not that I remember having any to start with.

I looked in the mirror. Not bad for a last-minute effort. I tried the shoes I’d worn, and they fit too —gold shoes with an ankle strap and mid-heel, which made dancing much easier than high heels. Finally, I added a gold chain with a ruby pendant swinging from it to finish the look. I looked like a princess again.

My parents were ready by the time I was. Mom had done herself up in a deep blue velvet dress, and my father was wearing a tux in the same shade. The dance itself was more for the younger people in town, but that wasn’t going to stop my parents from having a good time. Mom even smiled when she saw me.

“Oh, what a perfect dress for the night,” she said. “You look just as beautiful as you did for the Winter Ball.” She gave me a hug. “Come on, then. Let’s go. The dance is going to start by the time we get there if we dawdle any longer.”

I laughed a little. Mom was right. The dance wouldn’t wait for anyone to come, so we headed on out to the car. It didn’t take long for all of us to get buckled in. Dad was driving, so it was only a few minutes before we arrived at the church building being used for the dance. It was the same building as had been used for the live nativity.

After getting inside, I was surprised to see that this year, the decorations all centered around both Christmas and a winter wonderland. There was a Christmas tree set up in one corner with white and light blue decorations, presents wrapped in icy blue paper underneath it, and a deep blue rug on the floor to keep the presents from sliding everywhere. There were snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and the entire room had been decorated in white, icy blue, and hints of silver. It almost made me feel like we were a scene within a snow globe.

“Oh, what beautiful decorations,” Mom said. “Have fun, sweetheart. We’re going to stay at one of the tables. Maybe dance the slow songs, but this is really for younger people. Like you.”

A raging blush started on my cheeks as she patted my arm and took my father to find a table. I glanced around to see if I recognized any old friends, but I was especially looking for Noah. Not seeing him, I made my way over to the refreshments. My heart skipped from the nerves, so maybe a beverage would calm me down.

Before I was able to get my first cup of lemonade, I bumped into someone. I took a step to the side, only to realize that it was Noah. He wore a beautiful black tux, which brought out his eyes and the dark brown hair on his head. I remembered how handsome he had looked in his tux so many years ago at the Winter Ball.

“What a pleasure to see you here, Catherine,” he said. “You look absolutely stunning. Is that the dress you wore to the Winter Ball our senior year?”

“Yes, it is, Noah,” I said. “I’m surprised you remember it.”

“How could I forget dancing with the girl I loved, who wore a red dress like no one else could? And now, look at you. You are a beautiful woman in a red dress. The most beautiful woman here. Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”

“I would love to, Noah,” I replied.

He extended his hand to me. I took it, and we went onto the dance floor. They were playing Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. I knew the song well.

Noah pulled me close, and I could feel my heart beating. Could he feel it as well?

“I’m glad to see that you came to the dance,” Noah said. “I wasn’t sure I’d see you here.”

“I never miss an excuse to get dressed up. It doesn’t happen nearly often enough. Besides… I’ve realized how much I miss Indigo Lake,” I said. “I’ve been in California for almost two decades. It’s a long time to live away from the world you grew up in. How have you managed to live so close and so far in that many years? Other than the travel from the teams, of course. And not even think about missing home, at that. When I come to visit, I get homesick for my apartment in California. In Cali, I’m homesick for here.”

Noah laughed a little. I was glad that he had found that funny.

“It’s been difficult to live so close and so far over the years,” he said. “But I know I’ve coped with it by coming home for the holidays as often as I could manage. There were years that I didn’t want to come home, or it made more sense to go to someone else’s home, but this has always been how I grounded myself. How I remembered what I came from. It helped when I shot to stardom in college. As for the homesickness… I don’t think I can help with that.”

“I’m glad to hear that, about how you managed. Didn’t think you’d have anything for the homesickness.”

“And you? How have you managed to live in California so long now that you’re seeing how much you love Indigo Lake?”

I pursed my lips. That was a good question. How was I managing the fact that I’d have to return to California so soon after the holidays ended? I wasn’t sure that I was managing it at all. More like I was avoiding the question. My searches for apartments had become deeper, more intense. I hadn’t reached out to schedule a tour or anything yet, but I was certainly contemplating it.

“Are you avoiding it?” Noah asked when I didn’t immediately answer. “Catherine, you can’t exactly hide from me. You’ve always had a horrible poker face, and silence is usually your way of trying to put an answer together without letting on that something is wrong.”

I sighed.

“I suppose I’ve been avoiding thinking about what will happen when I go home. I’m almost dreading it this year,” I said. “Is that something you’ve ever experienced? Knowing that you want something different but not knowing how to make it happen?”

“Oh, more than you’d ever know, Catherine.”

This surprised me. Noah always appeared to have his life together, thought out, and ready for any setback. But here, in this moment, he sounded as unsure of what he was going to do next as I was. He wanted to continue working in sports, but didn’t know how he was going to do that. I was just struggling to accept that I wanted to return to my hometown after so long living in California.

And it wasn’t just because of the views and the feelings I had of Indigo Lake. I’d be an idiot not to admit to myself that I wanted to be closer to Noah, no matter where his career took him next.

“Well, I’m sad to see that we’re both a little lost in life right now,” I remarked.

He was about to say something more when he furrowed his brows. I tried to ask what was going on, but before I could form the words, there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned my head. A woman about my age, with long blond hair done in a braid that flowed behind her back like a waterfall and wearing a jean skirt and a crop top, stood behind me.

“Do you mind if I cut in?” she asked. “I’m Noah’s… special friend, and I’d like to have a word with him.”

“Oh, um, sure,” I said as I pulled myself away from Noah.

“Catherine, this is Tiffany. Tiffany, Catherine,” Noah said as we switched out. “I’ll, um, I’ll see you when the dance is done, Catherine?”

I nodded slowly, not wanting to make a scene. However, the emphasis Tiffany had put on the word “special” made my heart shiver. How could Noah lead me on like that? Could he have known she was coming and decided he wanted to see where our conversations would go despite it?

I returned to the refreshments table in a daze. Each step took more energy to take than it should have – as if someone had filled my shoes with lead. I got a lemonade and watched, bleary-eyed, as Noah and the woman danced. Noah’s lips were moving, but I had intentionally moved too far away to be able to hear what he was saying.

I turned away from them before I could allow my imagination to ruin the night even more. He had a girlfriend. How could he not have told me long before she arrived that there was no place for anything between us now?

I sat down with my parents.

“Catherine? Are you all right?” Mom asked, glancing toward Noah and Tiffany on the dance floor.

“I’m fine,” I said weakly.

“If you need to talk, we’re here,” Mom said as she squeezed my hand.

I appreciated that, giving her a weak smile before sipping my lemonade. From here, I could no longer see Noah and the woman. That much, I was thankful for. The song ended a moment later, and I tried to shy further into the wall so no one else would ask me to dance. Once bitten, twice shy, and all of that. If Noah was willing to help me get my guard down only to introduce another woman like that, what were the chances that he’d want a serious relationship? And what were the chances I could talk to him alone to get the answers tonight?

After two other men had asked me to dance, I simply excused myself to the bathroom. No one else could ask me to dance in there. Because of my makeup, I didn’t dare to splash cold water on my face. I found a small space in the stall furthest from the door and leaned against the cold stone wall of the bathroom.

I stood there, taking deep breaths and attempting to will the lump in my throat to go away. Noah was a handsome man. I was a fool to think that he didn’t have someone waiting in the wings for Christmas, and she simply couldn’t have arrived any earlier. Maybe she’d needed to stay for work or something like that and only got in tonight. But if that was the case, why would she come right to the Christmas dance after a long day of travel?