Chapter 3
Lily
A fter work, Dad and I walk home. It’s only a few blocks. The house and the store have been in the family for a century, and they both look it. They need new windows, coats of paint, and fresh hardwood floors. But Dad insists on doing everything himself which means things rarely get fully done. I would insist on him hiring people, but I can’t even afford to help with repairs, so I keep my mouth shut.
When we head inside, I smell dinner on the stove. Sauteed garlic and spices infuse the air.
“We’re home!” I call out as I shrug off my bag.
The door to the kitchen immediately swings open, and Mom stands there, agog. “You’re dating Jackson Roy?”
I stop. What the fuck is going on today? “What?”
“You are?” Dad asks, gray brows shooting up.
“I’m—wait a second—“ I take off my shoes and go toward my mom. “How did you know that?”
She takes the lead, heading back into the kitchen. “Everyone’s talking about it. I heard it from Paulette King who heard it from Dr. Dixon who apparently talked to Mrs. Worthing and—“
Dammit, Tia. “Okay, I have to explain.”
“Is that why he stopped by today?” Dad asks, having come into the kitchen after me.
I flip around. “You heard that?”
“I’m counting pills back there, but I’m not deaf,” he replies, undoing the cuffs of his plaid button-down. “Now what you were talking about, I couldn’t say, but—“
I lean up against the counter, letting my head drop back. “This is so stupid. Oh, my God.”
“I think it’s nice,” Mom says, a serene smile on her lips. “I mean, you two have known each other your whole lives; it only makes sense.”
“We aren’t dating,” I say. “It’s complicated.”
Mom glances back at my father, one of those married looks.
“It is!” I say.
Dad grabs a bottle of wine from the wine rack and starts to uncork it. “Okay, then explain it to us.”
“Okay, TL;DR.”
“What’s that mean?” Mom asks, eyes glued to whatever concoction she’s got sitting in the stockpot.
The cork pops on the bottle of wine. “Acronym!” Dad calls out.
Mom tsks. “I know it’s an acronym, but what does it stand for?”
“It’s an internet thing. ‘Too long, didn’t read’,” I explain. I’ve done so much explaining of acronyms and slang since I’ve come home. “Basically, CliffsNotes .”
Mom smiles. “ CliffsNotes , I know.”
I shake my head. This is all ludicrous. “Tia Worthing came into the store to rub in my face that I wouldn’t have a date to the reunion and—“
“That girl is a piece of work,” Dad says as he pours three glasses of red wine.
Mom admonishes him with a soft, “Darryl.”
“That’s the nicest thing I could say,” he replies as he hands me a glass of wine.
I swig the red wine. Just what I needed. “You’re a real one, Dad.”
“You hear that, Sue? I’m a real one,” he says.
“Oh, hush.”
“Anyway, she was being a piece of work and implying that I didn’t want to go to the reunion because I wouldn’t have a date. And Kayla was there, and she, well, she was trying to be helpful, but she told Tia I had a new boyfriend and Jackson just happened to walk in right at that moment, and I’m sure you can put two and two together from there.”
Dad groans as he takes a seat at the kitchen table. I can almost hear his knees creaking. “Kayla offered Jackson up as your fake boyfriend, huh?”
“Precisely.”
Mom scoffs, “Oh, my goodness, that’s ridiculous.”
“Yeah, that’s what Jackson and I said.” After we pretended to be a couple without batting an eye. “But, I don’t know, it was kind of great to see the look on her face when she found out we’re ‘dating’.” I had air quotes around ‘dating’ for obvious reasons.
“I’m sure she was upset, to say the least,” my mom says, trying to tread carefully with her language.
“It’s been over ten years since they dated,” I say. “And she’s married.”
Dad laughs. “Sometimes it’s the married ones you have to watch out for.”
Mom shoots him a look. He holds up his hands like she’s got a gun trained on him. “Your father’s right. When people don’t get married for the right reasons, it’s easy to think the grass is always greener elsewhere.”
“Anyway, my point is, that Jackson Roy is my boyfriend on Saturday night. Not a moment before and not a moment after,” I explain and go sit at the kitchen table near my dad.
My mom sighs. “Well, I have to say, I’m a bit disappointed.”
I shake my head. “If Jackson and I dated, it would be a mess.”
“Oh, come on, he’s successful. Don’t tell me your type is unemployed,” Dad teases.
I don’t laugh. “Will was only unemployed for like . . . a year.” Or two.
“ Darryl .”
“Come on, you can’t get much better than a millionaire.”
Mom turns down the burner on the stove and lets the food simmer. “Billionaire, actually.”
“Jeez, right here in Cider Bay! And you could be dating him!”
I shake my head. “You’re acting like there was ever a possibility this was real. It wasn’t. From the beginning, it was a friend doing another friend a favor. Because the friend’s sister couldn’t keep her big mouth shut.”
“Okay, but . . . ” Mom sits in her spot at the table, bringing her glass of wine with her. “What if you thought of it like a first date?”
I narrow my eyes. “Mom, we don’t even know each other anymore.”
“That’s what a date is for!”
“It’s not a real date!”
“He’s handsome and successful, and you deserve handsome and successful,” she goes on.
She isn’t wrong. Jackson is handsome. Always has been. Tall and strong from all the running. Rugged golden waves of hair, cutting blue eyes. The beard is a new touch, just adds to the whole picture of perfect masculinity.
My whole life, he was Kayla’s older brother. Sure, when puberty hit, I started looking at him a little longer. But then so did every girl in Cider Bay. I wasn’t special for thinking he was attractive, so I didn’t treat him specially. I teased him, gave him shit. Besides, he was the golden boy, and I was an alt emo kid. We grew in different directions.
“I deserve nice,” I say softly, adjusting my wine glass on the table without looking at anyone. “A guy who dates Tia Worthing isn’t nice.”
Mom touches my wrist. “That was years ago sweetie.”
Maybe so. But I haven’t forgotten. She had just spread a rumor that I’d given Will a blowjob during a school assembly when all I’d been doing was using a Sharpie to draw on the front of his jeans. Everyone thought we were perverts for years even though we never did more than kiss until junior year. And despite all of that, Jackson took her to prom that year. I barely saw him that year or through half of high school because of her.
“It doesn’t even matter,” I say. “There’s nothing there. We’re just friends. And can you imagine him with me? That’s like Jessica and Roger Rabbit. It’s even in the name.”
“Don’t tell me you’re comparing yourself to Roger Rabbit in this scenario,” Dad says.
I laugh. “I mean, compared to Jackson, I’m definitely the weird-looking one. He’s conventionally attractive, and I’m—”
“I think you two would make a cute couple,” Mom encourages.
I’m letting Tia get to me. I know I am. That last comment she made on her way out of the store, that it was a seeming impossibility for me to snag Jackson really hit me square in the chest. After the past decade, my self-esteem isn’t very high. I’ve been trying to get it back, but the doubt is uglier than it used to be. “It’s just a fake date. To annoy Tia.”
“That’s as good a reason as any,” Dad says.
“ Darryl. ”
I laugh into my glass of wine, sipping as my parents squabble. My phone starts to vibrate in my back pocket. I pull it out with the intention to put it on silent, but stop when I see the name.
Jackson Roy. Jackson Roy is calling me.
“Is that him?” Mom asks excitedly.
I give her a look. “ Fake date .”
“Mhmm . . . ”
Dad’s turn to scold Mom. “ Sue .”
“I’m gonna take this.”
Mom pats my hip as I stand. “Good girl. Keep an open mind.”
I roll my eyes and head out of the kitchen to answer the phone. “Yo.” Yo? I’ve never said “yo” to answer the phone in my life.
“Oh, good, this is still your number.”
“Has it really been that long since we spoke on the phone?”
“Probably since high school.”
Jackson and I have seen each other a few times over the years. Holidays mostly, when we were both back in town. Casual dinners, New Year’s Eve parties, town events. I’d spent most of my time with Kayla or my parents while visiting. Jackson was always just kind of there.
Okay, not just there . Looking fantastic. Being successful. Standing tall, making money, and probably attracting chicks wherever he went. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep from going broke, in the same relationship, and collecting piercings and tattoos.
It never bothered me until now. Now, when I don’t have much to show for all ten of these years. At least he has an investment portfolio. “Well, you got me. What’s up?”
Jackson clears his throat. “We should probably talk about Saturday.”
“Yeah, about that, I’m sorry Kayla roped you into that. If I had known, I would have told her not to.”
“Don’t worry about it, Lil.”
Lil . Why does that make my chest feel warm? “You can change your mind if you want. I really wasn’t going to go. Tia was just trying to get a reaction out of me.”
“Yeah, she does that,” he sighs. “I’m in if you are. But also no pressure. We can spread the amicable breakup as fast as the relationship.”
“Everyone knows,” I groan.
He laughs. “Yeah, that’s Cider Bay for you.”
“My mom asked me if we were dating. I was like ‘ oh, my God’ .”
“Don’t sound so embarrassed.”
I flush. He’s teasing, I think. “No, not embarrassed, just the whole thing is so ludicrous, and if anyone should be embarrassed it should be you.”
“What? Why?”
“Because . . . ” I shake it off. It’s one thing to talk about my inferiority complex with my parents. Jackson doesn’t need to know about that. “I don’t know, I guess we both should be embarrassed.”
“The point is to not be embarrassed, I thought.”
“Yeah. Me. For me to not be embarrassed. You don’t get anything out of this.”
Jackson pauses. I’m half expecting him to back out now that he realizes there’s nothing on his end of the deal. “I get to help a friend. That’s good enough for me.”
Not my heart leaping into my throat . . . not this . . .
“Besides it’s one night. So, I don’t have much skin in the game.”
My heart falls. Why, I don’t know.
“However, I think we should make a game plan. You know, figure out how we’re going to be convincing as a couple. Want to have the same stories and information.”
“That’s a good idea.” I hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“I was going to hike the Cider Creek Loop tomorrow morning to catch the sunrise. You want to join me?”
“Sun rise ?” I ask.
“Yeah, before Bolton’s opens.”
Getting up in time to be at Bolton’s was transition enough. Back in Seattle, I was a sleep-until-noon kind of girl. Still, Jackson is doing me a favor. The least I can do is go along with his schedule. “If you pick me up, it’s a deal.”
He chuckles, low in his chest. I get a flash of being pressed up against his side, his sweat sticking to my skin, his warmth seeping into my bones. “I can do that.”
“Don’t judge me if I look like a mess, okay? I don’t get up that early for anything, so consider yourself lucky.”
There’s a pause on the other end and then—
“You never look like a mess, Lily.”
I nearly swallow my tongue, unable to reply.
“See you tomorrow morning.”
He’s hung up by the time I finally am able to echo the words back to him.