Chapter 6
Jackson
I haven’t felt this good in ages. It’s not the wine flushing my face or the fact the DJ for this event is actually pretty damn good.
It’s Lily sitting next to me at the table, leaning into me as the conversation flows at the table, close enough that if I wanted, I could kiss her hair. Even Tia can’t keep being her rude self when she sees us like this.
Like this is real.
“So, I think we all want to know,” Melissa, one of Tia’s crew from the old days, begins, leaning back in her seat and resting a hand on her protruding pregnant stomach. “How did you two . . . ”
Lily and I exchange a glance. Good thing we worked out our story beforehand. She smiles at me. So at ease compared to the way I found her, cornered by Will Scortello, the jackass. Something about him just exudes jackassery.
Lily places her hand on my chest. “Jackson was just a shoulder to cry on at first,” she says.
“Oh, just , I see how it is,” I add in a bantering fashion.
“You know what I mean,” she laughs.
I could eat that laugh up with a spoon.
“Leaving Seattle was hard for lots of reasons,” she says, the earnestness in her voice coming through. “It took me a while to feel like myself again. Jackson made me feel . . . gosh, it sounds ridiculous to say, but—”
I watch her lips as she speaks. Wishing I could have one kiss. Just one.
“It felt like old times. Like I was young again. I know we’re still young, but how often do we feel young, you know? Like we’re kids, and we’re safe and loved just for being, you know?”
I know she’s selling a story, but if I make her feel even half of that, I can die a happy man.
“So it just made sense. He was brave enough to ask me out and that was what, three months ago?”
And the Oscar for best actress goes to . . . “Three months and four days.”
Melissa glances at her husband, Theo. “Wow, he even remembers the days, Theo.”
Theo rolls his eyes. “Making us all look bad, Roy.”
I chuckle. “It’s not an easy thing to forget.”
Lily smooths her hand back and forth over my chest. Perhaps errantly. But perhaps more.
“Aren’t you scared you’re a rebound, Jackson?” Tia pipes up.
“Oh, come on, Tee,” Charlie says. I don’t know how he keeps her in check. He’s a better man than I am.
“I’m just asking what we’re all thinking. Lily and Will were together for, gosh, fourteen years, right?”
Lily goes rigid. “Almost. Yeah.”
I touch my fingertips to the ladybug tattoo on her shoulder blade, stroking softly to say I’m here.
“That’s not something you can just forget. We don’t want Jackson Roy’s heart getting broken here, do we?”
“I wouldn’t do that to him,” she says, and . . . I believe her. “We’re basically family.”
“Family that fucks,” Tia says into her drink.
Charlie swipes her drink out of her hand. “Okay, you’re cut off.”
Tia splits with laughter. “You’re being ridiculous.”
The married couple starts to squabble with others at the table rolling their eyes at Tia’s classic antics.
Lily leans closer to me. “I wouldn’t.”
“I know.”
Her eyes lock on mine. “I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you, Jackson.”
Lily’s adamance is confusing. I suddenly don’t know how fake any of this is. We’ve agreed upon this relationship for tonight and tonight only. Ostensibly, someone is going to be the bad guy once people realize we aren’t together. Maybe this is her way of saying she’s not going to take the fall.
I play with some of the curls resting on her back. “I know you wouldn’t, baby.”
Her body lifts with an inhale. I’ve said ‘baby’ with no one else around to hear unless they were listening closely.
I turn my attention back to Melissa and smile, “When you know, you know, right? And I won’t speak for Lily, but I just knew.”
I’ve always known.
“That’s so romantic,” Melissa says with a sigh, then glares at her husband. “Why aren’t you romantic?”
Theo leans over, resting his hand over hers on her baby bump. “How do you think we got here, Mel?”
It’s romantic and . . . everything I want. I want the wife and the kids and to be someone’s default date for whatever annoying events we have to go to.
“Thirty seconds in missionary,” Lily blurts.
Melissa squeals in laughter, and Theo manages to laugh, too, though his face grows hot.
I pinch Lily on the arm playfully. “You’re an ass.”
“When you know, you know, Jackson,” she lilts, leaning closer to me, so close I can feel her breath on my face.
If she were really mine, I’d kiss her.
Someone clears their throat from behind me. “Sorry to interrupt.”
Fucking Will Scortello.
Lily’s face pales. I look up at Will, instinctively tucking her further under my arm. “No problem, man. What’s up?”
Will’s mouth is small and tight. God, he’s mad. It’s funny to see. “I’d like to talk with Lily for a moment, if that’s alright with you.”
If it were up to me, it would not be alright. Not at all. “You should ask Lily. I’m not her keeper.”
Will lifts his hands up in surrender. “Just trying to be respectful, man.”
Respectful would be speaking to her . No, actually, respectful would be leaving her the fuck alone.
“Just a minute, Lil,” Will pleads. “Okay?”
Lily’s grip on me loosens, and I already know I’m not going to like her answer. “Okay. Just a minute.”
I glance at her to make sure she’s okay, but she avoids my gaze. Fuck, I’m not just feeling protective but possessive. I want to tell him to back off. She’s mine. But that’s not true. Not even for one night is that true. It’s all . . . make-believe.
Lily starts to stand, but as she does, I grab her hand. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I murmur.
She attempts to smile. “I know. I’ll only be a minute.”
I don’t let go, hoping that she’ll give me something else, something to make me feel better.
Lily squeezes my hand. Which I guess is better than nothing, but . . . I want more.
I let her go. Because I’m not her keeper. Even if she were ‘mine,’ she is her own person.
I watch them go side by side toward the entryway of the gym to find some quiet in the hallway.
Tia sighs, calling my attention back to her. “I’m so glad he agreed to come.”
“Why is that?” I ask, giving her a cool expression.
Tia is taken off-guard for just a moment. I’m a bit unfair in the way I remember her. It wasn’t all bad. We had fun. The parties, the road trips, the late-night conversations gathered around the bonfire. But the good memories all involve other people. Because when we were alone, Tia didn’t know herself. Not at all. Without a fleet of people feeding her ego, she had no idea who she was.
She’s the opposite of Lily in so many ways. Lily always knew who she was and what she wanted. Uncompromising in how she’d get it.
“I just wanted as much of the class here as possible,” Tia says innocently.
“She nagged him for months,” Melissa mutters.
Tia shoots a glare at Melissa. “Mel!”
“What? You did!”
I bite down on the inside of my cheek. I’m starting to get the feeling that Tia wanted this to be a setup. Like a real-life Carrie except the blood is an ex-boyfriend. “How’d you find the time to nag him out of five hundred people?”
“I take my committee jobs seriously,” Tia says. “How was I to know that you and Lily would be debuting your new relationship tonight?”
“You insisted we come,” I retort.
Tia’s face is cold and unaffected. “I just want as much of the class here as possible.”
We watch each other for a long minute. “So what started as a way to fuck with Lily turned into a way to fuck with me too, huh?”
“You’re giving me too much credit, Jackson. I’m not that smart.” Tia picks up her wine glass which is currently unguarded by her husband because he’s at a loss, listening to her unwinding her plan. “Now, Charlie, come on, let’s dance.”
Tia drags her husband up from the table and pulls him toward the dance floor, disappearing into the throng.
I push myself up from the table. “I need a drink. Anyone need anything?”
I ignore Melissa and Theo if they said they wanted anything and head over to the bar. Running my hands over my face, I swear to myself, a string of curses. This night is more fucked than I could have imagined.
I steal a look through the open metal doors of the gymnasium. Lily is leaning up against the entry wall, her arms crossed over her chest. Not defiant Lily. Small Lily. Not hard when Will lowers over her, that stupid earring waggling with the passion with which he’s speaking.
Lily can handle herself. I know she can. And she might not take kindly to me inserting myself into her personal life.
But still, something about her posture makes me uneasy.
I order myself a whisky. Need something a bit harder. I don’t take my eyes off Lily, though. To the outside eye, it might look like I’m being a jealous boyfriend. I’m not her boyfriend though. And while, sure, I’m jealous, I’m more worried than anything.
I take my drink off the bar and sip the bitter liquor, thankful the burn takes my mind off the present moment.
Until I see Will reach out and touch Lily’s arm. She tries to pull away, but his hand hardens on her arm. From this far away, I can’t tell just how hard he’s grabbing her. But fuck that, it doesn’t matter.
I’m going over there.
Lily might not be mine. But she’s sure as hell not his.