Chapter 10
Jackson
“ S o, are you going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”
I glance up at Kayla. She’s on tiptoe, reaching into the highest shelf of books. I already told her I would do it because I’m worried about her falling, but she is stubborn beyond all compare.
I guess I am too, but that’s beside the point. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”
Kayla turns, hand on her hip, other hand on the shelf. She’s way too comfortable on that rolling ladder for my sanity. “I haven’t seen you in over a week.”
I turn away from her to the shelving cart in front of me and start shuffling through them randomly, deciding which books to take on next even though my mind is anywhere but organizing. Sometimes she enlists me for free labor after the store is closed. What are brothers for anyway? “You were at your conference.”
“Yeah, but I got back Monday night,” Kayla says. “And I haven’t heard anything about—”
“ Kay .” I shouldn’t lie to her. I have been avoiding coming by the store or going to her house for dinner. I used work as an excuse. And long bike rides. I’m too tired. Too busy.
You can only avoid your sister for so long, though.
She smiles. She knows when she’s stirring the pot. “What? I think I’m allowed to be curious about my brother and best friend going on a date.”
“Fake date.”
“Shhhh! Customers!”
We’re alone in the store, and she knows it.
I watch her dismount the ladder, skipping the last two rungs even though she’s wearing a long, fluttering skirt that could make her trip. “Seriously, Jackson. How’d it go?”
“I’m sure you’ve already discussed it with Lily,” I say, picking up a stack of new releases and heading toward the front table display.
Kayla follows at my heels. “Lily gave me a few of the details. We’ve mostly talked about Will.”
I place the books on the table and start shifting piles around to make room for them, trying not to feel the sting of knowing Lily’s major takeaway from the night of the reunion was her ex-boyfriend and not . . . anything else. Of course, I’d be foolish to think Lily would divulge all the dirt on that night. How things almost tumbled out of control. After all, I am Kayla’s brother.
“She said you two are going to keep . . . fake dating. To make him back off.”
The way she says “fake” makes it sound like she doesn’t think there’s anything fake about it. “Yeah. It only makes sense. He’s pushy, and she doesn’t deserve that.”
“She also told me you two are going on a picnic tonight.”
“Well, yeah, if we’re going to fake date—”
“And she’s been joining you on morning runs.”
“Walks,” I correct. “But yeah. We need people to believe it, right?”
Kayla sidles up to me, sticking her nose into my space. “Are you okay with that, Jackson?”
I finally lift my head with a heavy sigh. “I’m fine with it. I was the one who suggested it, actually.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Jackson . . . ”
“Kayla, you’re the one who put us in this situation.”
“Yeah, but one night is a lot different than a whole month! I thought maybe . . . ” Kayla trails off.
I return to the book cart without looking at her. “What? You thought you could force something to happen between us?”
“You’ve liked her your whole life.”
“Whole life is a stretch, but—”
“ Most of your life.”
“ Half my life.” I realize quickly that doesn’t sound much better. “Whatever. It’s no big deal.”
I grab another stack of books and check the name on the spine to figure out which aisle I need to go down. Kayla stops me, her hand on my arm. “That’s a long time.”
“I should never have asked you about prom,” I grumble.
Kayla laughs. “Oh, come on. Isn’t it better that I know than you feeling like you have to sneak around behind my back?”
“Kayla, nothing’s happening. I’m a friend helping a friend. I can keep my—” I don’t want to say feelings . That makes it sound so dramatic, and it’s not dramatic. “I can keep it together.”
I walk away, past the rickety wooden shelves. Kayla bought this place after we received our inheritance from our grandfather. Each portion was a healthy nest egg. I took the money and started investing at an exponential rate, and Kayla bought the town’s bookstore from the previous owners who had been looking to sell for years. Despite my support and her success, Kayla remains frugal. She’s kept a lot of the same fixtures from the original store and has used books mixed in with the new ones. It even has the same old bookstore smell.
Too bad Kayla knows every square inch of this place. I can’t get her off my trail by winding through the stacks.
“Jackson, people are talking.”
“People always talk.”
“Not—argh! You’re so obtuse.”
See? Like sister, like brother.
Kayla darts in front of me and yanks the books out of my arms. “Tia’s been talking about how you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other at the reunion.”
With nothing to hold onto, I grab the nearest shelf and lean on it. “You know Tia exaggerates.”
“ Yeah , but I was expecting the exaggerations to go the other way. ‘Jackson and Lily look like they’ve never even kissed!’ or ‘Jackson and Lily don’t even look at each other!’ Not ‘Jackson and Lily were making out on the dance floor.’”
I roll my eyes. “It wasn’t making out.”
Kayla’s jaw drops open. “So, it’s true? You two kissed?”
“Well, with Will being there we really had to sell it—“
“Jackson!” Kayla smacks my arm, then my other arm.
I jump away from her. “Hey, you know you don’t know your own strength!”
“You and Lily kissed , Jackson! That’s—”
“Acting. We were acting.”
Kayla pushes me. “Shut up .”
I stumble back and can’t keep from laughing. This is ridiculous and . . . it’s nice. I like the excitement Kayla has over Lily and me. Even if it’s not real.
I do have a whole month to make it so, though.
“And now you two are going to pretend to be dating for the whole town to see, and you’ve already kissed. I mean, what’s next? Fogging up the car windows?”
I gasp. “What? Ha! No, that’s—”
Kayla’s eyes widen, magnified by the lenses of her glasses. “You did that too?”
Dammit, I’m a terrible liar, especially when it comes to my sister. “It was practice.”
“ Practice . Yeah, right.” She shoves the books back into my arms. “You’re an idiot.”
Kayla walks back to the front of the store, leaving me to shelve. God, how does she do that? She chases me down, makes me talk despite my every intention not to, and then I want to talk. I drop the books on the shelf and follow after her. “Kayla, I promise, nothing is going to happen, okay? I don’t want you to get weird about it or—”
Kayla walks behind the counter and starts notating something in the big brown bound book in front of her. “Jackson, does it seem like I’m weird about it?”
“It’s just . . . I don’t want you to worry I’m going to ruin anything between you and Lily because I’m not.”
Kayla puts down her pen and looks me dead in the eye. “I just want you to take care of yourself, okay? I don’t want you to get yourself hurt.”
I almost swallow my tongue.
“Because you can stand here and say it’s pretend, but pretending for a whole month . . . I’m not sure anyone is capable of that. Especially if you’re practicing kissing. ”
I shove my hands in my pockets. “Just to make it look realistic,” I grumble.
My sister looks down her nose at me. “Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t enjoy it at all.”
I swallow. How am I the older brother, and yet she’s managed to make me feel like I’m a fifteen-year-old admitting I have a crush?
There’s a sudden thwapping on the door that makes me jump out of my skin. I flip around to see Lily through the glass windowed door. She waves her hand with a big smile and holds up the picnic basket in her hands.
My heart leaps into my throat. I smile back.
“Aren’t you going to let your fake girlfriend in?” Kayla needles.
I glare at her, then go over to the door to let Lily in. “Hi,” I say.
“Hey!” Lily blows right past me and goes to the counter. “Did I come too early? I can wait if you still have work to get done. In fact, I can help.”
I stare at her. She’s wearing dark blue denim cutoffs with raggedy hems and a crop top showing off the middle of her back which is clear of any tattoos, just a stripe of pale skin and the soft divot of her spine.
“No, I’m kind of tired of babysitting,” Kayla says, then adds pointedly. “He’s distracted anyway.”
I snap my eyes away from Lily and zero in on my sister. “Hey!”
She giggles. “You two go have fun on your fake picnic date.”
Lily glances back at me, a soft smile on her lips. Her very kissable lips.
Fuuuuuck .
“You ready, Jackson?” Lily asks.
“As I’ll ever be,” I say, trying to feign some amount of resignation. And, given my sister’s eye roll, failing.
Lily reaches into the basket and grabs a plastic bag, which she drops onto the counter before Kayla. “Toffee from my mom.”
“Yum. An angel.”
“Alright!” Lily steps toward me. “Shall we?”
I can’t find the words, so I give her a short nod and open the door for her again.
“Be safe! Take pictures for social media!”
Lily laughs and gives a wave over her shoulder toward Kayla as she heads back outside.
And for my benefit only, Kayla adds, “Use protection!”
“Oh my God,” I mutter and let the door slam closed behind me.
The evening is a bit cool, but still nice for August. I step up beside Lily and grab the basket from her. “Let me.”
“What a gentleman,” she teases.
“Least I can do.”
We walk for a few moments in silence. The town is alive tonight: people sitting at patio tables eating dinner, going for walks with their dogs, simply soaking in what’s left of summer before the chill of autumn takes over.
“Give me this,” Lily murmurs, then takes my hand.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.”
She moves up beside me, her arm rubbing against mine in that quiet intimacy you have with someone you’re dating. “We have to keep up appearances.”
I glance at passing faces. They smile. They clock the way we touch each other.
Nothing else needs to be said. The silence continues all the way to the park, and it’s comfortable. A silence I could live in. Hell, one I am living in. Kayla’s right to be worried. Doesn’t matter if I know this isn’t real. It feels real.
I breathe through it. One thing at a time. One morning walk, one date, one squeeze of her hand. Each thing separate is fine. But together . . .
“Are you alright?” Lily asks.
I guess it’s obvious I’m on edge. “Just . . . nervous.”
“Don’t be. It’s just me.”
I laugh and nod. Not because I agree.
If only she knew that Lily has never been just Lily to me.