Chapter 16
Jackson
“ J ackson! Come in, come in!” Sue Bolton waves me into the house with a broad grin.
I step over the threshold of the Bolton house feeling like a teenage version of myself. I don’t remember the last time I bought a girl flowers for a first date or came to pick her up at her parents’ house.
Sue cradles the big bouquet of roses I’m carrying. “Now look at these! Darryl, come say hello to Jackson!”
“I thought lilies might be too much on the nose,” I joke lamely.
“Good call. She hates when people give her lilies,” Sue says, touching her nose.
Darryl Bolton comes into the front hall looking smaller than he has in a long time. I guess I always see him behind the counter at the pharmacy where he sits on a tall stool going about his work. “There he is!”
“Hi, Mr. Bolton!”
“Ah, Mr. Bolton was my father, call me—”
Sue rolls her eyes. “ Darryl .”
“Exactly!” Darryl beams. “Darryl.” He takes my free hand and shakes it vehemently. “We’re very excited you’re taking Lily out.”
“That makes three of us,” I reply with a nod.
From upstairs, my sister shouts, “She’s not ready!”
It truly is a family affair. Kayla made us plan the date for a night she could help Lily get ready which, given the fact Lily’s her best friend, I was more than amenable to.
Sue gestures into the living room. “You want to take a seat while you wait?”
“Sure, thank you,” I say, though I really just want to pace around in a circle. My nerves have been at a level ten since I woke up this morning. I want tonight to be perfect. I don’t want her to regret even a second of giving me this chance. And yet I know life has a way of not going to plan.
I take a seat in one of the armchairs in the living room. Darryl and Sue sit on the couch across from me and, while the two are pretty affable people, I sense something in the room I can’t quite pin down.
“You’re going for dinner?”
I nod. “At the Bay Club.”
“Oh, that’s nice! You never took me to the Bay Club,” Sue says to Darryl.
“I didn’t know you wanted to go to the Bay Club!”
“Every girl wants to go to the Bay Club!”
I smile as I watch the argument play out. Is it strange to say I crave that? To see myself thirty years from now sitting on the couch with someone, arguing over meaningless minutiae of time passed?
Who am I kidding? Not someone. Lily . That’s who I’ve always wanted to be my forever, and there’s no use pretending.
Sue sighs heavily. “ Anyway, I’m glad we have a few minutes to talk with you Jackson, because . . . ” she trails off and gives Darryl a look.
I sit up straighter, the cellophane wrapping of the flowers crinkling in my lap. I never took Darryl for a ‘What are your intentions with my daughter?’ type, but I’m very willing to be as honest as possible. I only have to make sure I toe the line between committed and obsessive . . .
Darryl furrows his brow in thought. “Lily wouldn’t be happy with us if she knew we were talking to you about this, but Sue and I’ve decided it’s important given everything Lily has been through.”
“Oh?” My head is swirling with thoughts. Did someone hurt her in the past? Did Will cheat on her? Or are they just doing parental due diligence?
The married couple look at each other again, using their years of learning one another to communicate. Sue sighs and wipes some gray curls out of her face. “Will wasn’t good for her. I mean, I know you know that now, of course, but . . . ” She goes quiet.
Darryl puts his hand on her knee. “Take your time, hon.”
I find myself leaning forward, my brow furrowing. Can’t they just spit it out? What the hell happened?
“It wasn’t always bad, mind you. But Will didn’t treat Lily well. She says it’s just been the past few years, but we have a feeling it probably started when they moved to Seattle. I mean they were eighteen. There’s a lot of pressure if you’re going to go out and make a life for yourself without going to college or . . . ” Sue swallows. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say . . . ” She glances at Darryl, wordlessly handing the baton over to him.
He picks it up without wavering. “I’m going to be blunt with you, Jackson, because that’s the only way to be when it comes to things like this. Will was verbally abusive to Lily.”
My whole body tenses. That doesn’t surprise me in the least, and yet I’m in shock. Why didn’t she tell me? I saw signs of his strange cruelty to her, but I took it as the actions of a man whose ego had been wounded. Not . . . that.”
“I hate even using that word for it, but if you use any other word, it downplays the impact it had on her,” Darryl says. “I don’t think she’d describe it that way, but she knows the toll it took on her to be with him.”
I shake my head. “I’m . . . that’s horrible.” The words feel too weak for the situation, but I don’t know what else to say.
“We know you’re not that kind of person, Jackson,” Sue says. “Your grandfather did such a great job raising you and Kayla. We have no doubt you’ll be nothing but a gentleman.”
I nod vehemently. “Nothing less. I promise, Sue.”
She tries to smile through the clear pain in her eyes. “I just have to—I’m her mother; I have to—“
“Of course,” I interject and immediately want to kick myself for interrupting her.
Sue sighs, “I just think it’s important you know that because I know she probably won’t talk about it.”
“Not to say she’s fragile,” Darryl says. “Lily’s always been anything but. However, we can tell she’s lost some of the confidence she used to have. That self-possession that made her so big and bold to take risks and . . . ”
Her parents both fall silent. I can only imagine how hard it has been to watch Lily struggle in the wake of Will. I can only imagine how difficult it was to decide to tell me about her struggle. And I can only imagine how scary it is to see her possibly fall into the arms of someone else they can’t help but be wary of because of her past experience, even if they’ve known me since I was a kid. “I appreciate you sharing that with me,” I say. “I can’t say I haven’t noticed a bit of that . . . change in her.”
Sue’s lips twist to the side, the wrinkles on her forehead deepening.
“But I’ve adored Lily as long as I can remember,” I say. “And I promise that I would never tear her down or . . . ” I swallow. This is some intense first-date talk. Then again, my feelings for Lily have always been intense. Even our first ‘fake’ date was intense. Something about it is unavoidable when it comes to us. “She’s precious to me. And knowing that Will—” The name in my mouth feels like glass. “That he did that to her. It makes me angrier than I can possibly describe.”
Darryl puts a hand out. “Don’t mention that we told you, please. She’d be—”
“I won’t. I promise.” I lift my head higher. “And I promise this won’t change the way I treat her because Lily deserves nothing less than the best. I was already prepared to give that to her.”
Lily’s parents share a small smile.
All my cards are on the table. No backing out now.
“I don’t mean to interrupt . . . ” Lily’s voice comes from the hall.
I look in the direction of the doorway and have to keep my body from melting here and now at the sight of her. She’s wearing a flowing, brick-red dress that scrunches around her torso and is adorned with a pattern of tiny yellow flowers and has billowy sleeves. Her curls run wild over her shoulders and bare clavicle. Well, bare except for a delicate doodle of mountains tattooed in black ink.
“Hi,” she says.
I don’t know how long I’ve been standing here in silence like Adam seeing Eve for the first time, but her voice snaps me back to life. “Hi. Hey, you look—” I look askance to Sue and Darryl. “Nice.”
Kayla appears in the hallway behind Lily. “She looks better than nice, and you know it.”
“Um . . . ” Yes, I have plenty of words to describe how Lily looks, but I’ve already poured my heart out to her parents about my intentions. I don’t need to go opening up the thesaurus of my brain. I step forward, handing her the bouquet of flowers. “These are for you.” Obviously, you idiot.
Lily takes them, her rusty painted lips pulling up into the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen. “Thank you, they’re beautiful.”
Sue gets to her feet. “I’ll put them in some water for you, honey.”
“No, that’s alright,” Lily says, pulling the bouquet tighter into the cradle of her arms. Her cheeks redden. “I . . . no one’s ever brought me flowers.”
If it wasn’t enough to hear how Will tore her down with his words, this is the thing that breaks my heart in two. “They’ll last longer if you put them in water now. Besides, these won’t be the last flowers I get for you, I promise you that.”
Lily’s hazel eyes twinkle like stars. She reluctantly hands them over to her mother. “I guess, we should—”
“Yes, we should—” I gesture to the hallway.
It’s an awkward dance of helping her coat on, bidding goodbye to her parents and Kayla, and getting out the door, but once we’re in the cool night, the silence is surprising. Even more surprisingly, I don’t know what to say until we get to the car, and I say the very boring, “Let me get your door.”
I open the door for her and, before she climbs inside, she lifts herself onto her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “Thank you.”
I’ve kissed her. Touched her. Been inside her. And yet a tiny kiss on the cheek almost has me shaking.
I’ve wanted this moment for so many years. Now, the wait is over.
And I will not hesitate to make it perfect.