Twins For My Bestie’s Brother (Billionaire Daddies)

25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Lily

C ider Bay in winter can be beautiful, but in the late gray of January, it’s purgatory. And that feeling isn’t helped by the hopelessness inside me.

I’ve been back home for five days. I haven’t looked back once.

Today would have been our return from Banff. But I don’t know what Jackson did after I left The Zenith. I don’t know if he followed me right away or stayed in Banff for the rest of the trip. I don’t know which would make me feel better. I blocked him on my way to the airport. No phone calls. No texts. I need the void of him more than his presence.

His not existing would probably be best. This betrayal of my trust is worse than anything Will ever said to me. Because Jackson knows me . We were family before we were . . . this. Or that. I’m not sure if it’s something I possess or something I used to possess.

His not existing is not an option. Not only because Cider Bay belongs to both of us. In fact, he was here first, only by a year and change. But also, and probably more importantly, because he’s a part of me.

When I got home, I arranged a doctor’s appointment ASAP. And that confirmed it.

I’m pregnant with Jackson’s child.

A part of me is still glad we have that slim thread connecting us. Another part of me wishes I hadn’t been so consumed with falling in love with him that I hadn’t stupidly decided him pulling out would be fine and safe. We both know better than that and yet willfully chose to be ignorant.

Now . . .

I’ve decided I have a couple of weeks to not think too hard about it. It’s early, yet. Not even two months. Not willful ignorance this time, no. I’ve already got the prenatal vitamins, and I’m watching what I eat.

But all the other things. What am I going to do, and when am I going to do it? I can’t think that far ahead, or else I’ll start thinking about Jackson and how he fits into the puzzle, and that sends me over the edge, right into hysterics.

Thankfully, my parents decided since I was going on a trip they’d go on one too and left the store in the care of the small staff. I go back tomorrow, which will be a good alternative to sitting around the house all day.

I’ve been trying to draw, but it’s hard when the whole plan feels like it’s gone out the window. There are still papers to be signed and decisions to be made when it comes to the property and without Jackson’s money, I’m shit out of luck.

I can’t believe I let myself rely on him and think that my future would be comfortable and easy thanks to him.

If Jackson isn’t safe, no man is. I thought he’d protect me. Always. After a lifetime of knowing each other . . .

I don’t know if I ever really knew him. Not after Banff.

For the third day in a row, I take a nap in the afternoon that takes me all the way to dinnertime. I make myself a cup of EasyMac because it’s the only thing I can manage to make and doesn’t make my stomach queasy. Morning sickness is just around the bend.

How am I going to tell my parents? How am I going to tell Kayla ?

I feel more like I’m eighteen than twenty-eight.

I crawl back into bed with my cup of noodles and start scrolling through Instagram as I eat. It’s flooded with images of other artists and shops I follow. All the work they’ve done in the past few weeks. Big, beautiful tattoos, some that took several sessions of work. Tiny flash tattoos that look like stickers on skin, how perfect and vibrant they are.

I go to my account. I haven’t posted in a long time . . . since the week after I left Seattle. A tattoo I did in this very room on the front of my thigh. A heart shaped padlock with a key turning, snapping it open. I was proud of that one. Liberation. At the time, I thought I’d be free much longer than this.

Now, I’m chained again to love I wish I didn’t have.

There’s a creaking from the hallway outside my room. I sit up straight and stare at the door. Is it the house settling? Or someone in the house?

“Lily!” Kayla shouts from the hallway.

Fuck . I didn’t tell Kayla I was home and quietly turned off location tracking so she couldn’t see I’d left Banff early. Given how I’ve been unbothered since I got home, I assumed Jackson was too embarrassed to say anything. As he should be.

“I’m coming in!”

I swing my legs out of bed. “Kay, wait—”

She bursts in before I can get up. She’s mad. Red in the face mad. I swear her glasses are fogging up from her anger. “What the hell is going on?”

“I should have never told you where the spare key was,” I murmur.

“ Lily . I just saw my brother, and he said that you left Banff early. He wouldn’t tell me anything else and almost bit my head off for asking questions. What’s going on?”

I scratch the back of my head. My curls are greasy and unwashed. Dammit, I gotta take care of that. “I left early.”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Just did.”

“Five days ago! And you didn’t tell me.”

“He told you all that?” Fucking Jackson. “He just got back?” I ask.

“You’re changing the subject.”

Not really, but I don’t have the energy to tell her that. “We got in a fight.”

“Yeah, obviously. I’m trying to figure out what it’s about since he wouldn’t give me any information.”

I have so many questions. Was he upset? Did he seem angry or hurt? Does he miss me?

Because, dammit, despite everything, I miss him. There’s a crack inside me that seems endlessly deep and unfillable by anything but him and his presence and his love. “I didn’t expect him to turn into businessman Jackson. That’s a different guy, and I didn’t like it.”

Kayla’s expression softens and her shoulders fall, though they still look high and tense thanks to the shoulder pads of her coat. “It was that bad?”

“Yeah. Pretty bad.”

Kayla comes over to the bed and sits next to me. “He used to be like that in the early days. He’d come home and talk about anything but . . . you know, Grandpa or Mom or anything he was feeling. Defense mechanism, I guess.”

“I get it, but with me? Why . . . with me?” An edge of sorrow creeps into the back of my throat. “I mean, he practically decided we were moving to Canada for a year without even asking. And—”

“Seriously? I’ll kill him.”

“Kayla, not the point.”

“I’m just saying, I will. If you want.”

My friend and I exchange a smile. More like sisters than friends even after all this time. Even more so now.

Kayla sighs. “Old habits die hard, maybe. I mean . . . things are moving fast.”

Faster than you know .

“Maybe he’s—it’s not cold feet, but you two have basically become one person. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a part of his subconscious trying to pull him away and make sure he’ll be alright if he loses you.”

My forehead tightens. “He can’t pull away from me now.”

Kayla grabs one of my hands. “He won’t. I won’t let him.”

I tear away from her and cross the room to look out the window. “He can’t be scared, because I’m scared,” I say. I have to tell her. I just have to tell her what’s going on. It will help.

“Lily . . . ?”

“I need you to not freak out, but I have something to tell you.”

“Okay, but Lily—”

“Let me just get it out, Kayla,” I say with a heavy exhale as I spin around to face her.

My friend is smiling awkwardly. “Maybe after you change your pants and . . . get a tampon?”

I’m taken aback. “What?” I look down at my sweatpants. There’s a red spot in the crotch. I touch it. Blood transfers onto my fingers. “Oh, my God.”

“Yeah, you got a little on the bed, but that’s okay. I can do some laundry for you. How about that?” Kayla says, getting to her feet and holding up the comforter where there’s another blotch of blood.

Horror courses through me. “Oh, my God, no .”

“It’s okay; it’s just a period. I don’t know why you’re embarrassed. It’s just me,” she says with a wave of her hand.

That’s a lot of blood .

“Lily. Are you okay?”

I swallow. “That’s not period blood.”

My friend, my best friend in the world, stares at me, completely innocent and unaware of what I’m about to say.

“I’m pregnant, Kayla.”

Her expression shifts, jaw going slack, eyes widening.

“But if I’m bleeding, I might not . . . might not be anymore? Oh, my God.” My heartbeat is quickening with no signs of stopping. I can’t catch my breath.

Kayla rushes to me and grabs my shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, we’ll go to the hospital and—I’m sure everything is fine, okay?”

I shake my head. “That’s a lot of blood, that’s—” If I had any hesitations before about motherhood, about this baby, about any of it, they disappear in an instant. “I don’t want to lose it. I don’t—”

Kayla’s words don’t match her panicked expression, but she’s trying to be comforting. “Take some deep breaths. It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens is going to be okay.”

Not whatever happens. I want this. Only this . If I lose the baby, I lose Jackson.

Without realizing it, Kayla has been directing me toward the door and down the stairs. “Let’s get your coat on and get in the car, and I’ll call Jackson—‘’

I grab her hand tightly. “No, don’t.”

Kayla’s wrapping a coat around me. We’ve somehow made it to the front hall. I’m in a daze. “He doesn’t know?”

“He does, but he—I don’t think he—”

Kayla cups my face. “If this is what’s come between you two, I can guarantee whatever he did or said was because he was scared, okay? He loves you. He’ll hate himself if he isn’t here for you. Okay?”

I purse my lips tightly together to keep from sobbing aloud and nod.

“Okay. Good.”

I remain silent as she helps me get my shoes on and walks me to her car, my mind racing with the same two thoughts on repeat. What if I lose my baby? And what if Jackson doesn’t come running?

Either thing would shatter me. But both of them together?

I think I’ll die.