Twisted Throne (Bratva Born #2)

22. Dimitri

Dimitri

The house is empty. Mamma and Nataliya are at the hospital, visiting with Jacob and the physical therapist, so they can go through the exercises they’ll need to help Jacob with, in between appointments.

I’ve told the guards to leave me in privacy inside but guard the doors and windows on the outside. Mel has made a meal and left it in the oven, and littleblue is upstairs, reading, minding her own business and unaware of my plans for the evening.

Ari is dead, and Dorian … well Dorian is on a flight right now, heavily guarded, to Greece, where God knows what fate awaits him. Andrius took him instead of Ari after I lost my temper about Ari having his hands on Adriana, and cut them off.

Andrius saw my side of things and settled for Dorian instead. I had wanted to murder him too, with my bare hands, but he’d threatened Priest’s partner, Roze, and they want to interrogate him, and when I considered it, I realized that would simply prolong his terror and pain, which is fine by me.

The intel both Ari and Dorian gave us about the group in Portland is that there’s no real threat as of now, but there may be in the future as the faction grows.

When I share this intel with my littleblue, will she fly away? Take the risk for a chance at life without my darkness overshadowing her? Or will she choose her cage, here with me?

I can give her the life of a queen, but because of who I am and what I do, she’ll never be truly free here.

Freedom or safety.

Love or freedom.

Which will she choose?

I made her a promise. I intend to keep it. In this, I give her a choice. I have the ring. Ordered from San Francisco’s most luxurious jewelers. It’s a massive, rare Columbian emerald surrounded by two and a half carat diamonds and set in platinum.

Will she say yes, when I get on my knees for her and ask?

If she says no, will I let her go?

The fact that I don’t truly know the answer to that terrifies me. I’ve fallen so far down the hole of sin that I’m never getting out.

I check the dining room and, satisfied that it’s ready, I go in hunt of my bride-to-be … if all goes well.

I find her not in our bedroom but sitting on the window seat where Mamma has a collection of her books. She’s wearing a long, silky dress and a pair of reading glasses. I think they’re Mamma’s spare pair.

“Are they my mother’s?” I ask as I walk up to her, pointing at the glasses.

She lifts her head. “Yes, I don’t have any here. I need to go back to Hana’s house and fetch my things.”

“So … you’re staying?”

She sighs. “It’s hardly safe for me out there, is it?”

“That’s the only reason?”

“Can’t think of any other.” She gives me a cheeky grin. She’s playing along, but she’s unsure. Her face has been paler than usual ever since the scene at the cabin, and her perfectly manicured nails are now bitten and ragged.

I sit by her and take her hand. “Are you okay?”

She shakes her head, and to my horror there are tears in her eyes when she looks up. “I’m overwhelmed, Dimitri. I’ve been taken twice, abused, lied to, and tricked. My best friend betrayed me, but I can’t be angry at her because her life sounds horrendous. Cade is well and safe, but he has to live on a damn Mafia compound to stay that way, and my father is going to rehab. It’s all happened in the space of what? Three weeks? I have lost all track of time. I feel as if I’m losing my mind. As if I’m spiraling.”

I pat my pocket and check that the ring is there. This isn’t the moment. Littleblue is all up in her head. She gets like this. I think I’m slowly figuring it out. She’s a worrier, and she’s also harsh and judgmental of her own morals and behavior. She has been through hell, and maybe she needs to talk to a professional about it, but I think a lot of what has her so angsty right now is the belief that she’s a bad person for loving me.

“Things will work out,” I say, uselessly.

“I know. I think they will, but right now, I feel panicked and on edge.”

Her gaze hardens. “Can you teach me to fight and how to properly fire a gun?”

“Yes,” I say immediately.

She nods. “I want to feel safe.”

“We can grow some angel’s trumpets on the grounds too, if you’d like? Then if I step out of line, you can teach me a lesson.”

She stares at me and then laughs, her eyes crinkling in the most endearing way as she shakes her head at me. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I am, yes. Would you like a space like this in our house?”

She jerks as if I’ve slapped her. “Our house,” she murmurs.

“Does that excite you, or scare you?”

“A little bit both.”

“I want you to be at home there,” I say.

“I’m scared it won’t work. What if, after a few months, we hate each other?”

“Not going to happen,” I say assuredly.

“I’m weird,” she replies. “I have strange habits. I like to read a lot, and I need alone time, and?—”

“Baby,” I cut her off. “Alone time is fine by me. You can have your own space. Hell, pick some rooms and do whatever the fuck you want with them. Library. Spa. Animal sanctuary.”

She giggles at that.

“You might not love me when you truly know me,” she whispers.

“Adriana, I’ve never fallen in love. In my third decade, and never been in love, until you. I think I know when it’s real. It makes no sense, but I fucking love you. I think I do know you.”

She narrows her eyes a little at that.

“Like right now, you’re feeling bad because you think I am a bad man. Immoral. So if you want me, that makes you immoral too. The stuff at the cabin made you sick, but when you think of it now, it makes you wet.”

She gasps, and her cheeks color.

“That makes you guilty, but you don’t understand that it’s not what happened there that turns you on. It’s the fact that I will burn this motherfucking world to the ground if it dared to look at you the wrong way. I am indifferent to much of the world, littleblue, and a whole lot of it I actively dislike. But not you. I’m an asshole, I know that, but not for you.”

Her breathing has grown fast, and the twin spots of color remain on her cheeks. “You like that I’m a bad guy for everyone but you, and you hate that about yourself, but you shouldn’t.”

She laughs softly. “It is a bit morally questionable,” she says.

“Some of the best things are.”

She slaps my arm.

“Want to work some of your anxiety off?”

“Like in the gym?”

“No. Like running and hiding from me.”

Her eyes widen. “What do you mean?”

“I know you’re all up in here.” I gently tap her head. “I know how to get you out of there. Like we did on the plane, but more real.”

She swallows hard. “I want to, but I’m scared.”

“You have your word.” I take her hand in mine. “When we start, it will get wild real fast, but you say that word, and it all stops.”

“What if someone comes in; this isn’t your house?”

“Mamma and Nataliya are visiting Jacob and then going for a meal. The staff are all excused, and the guards are all outside. Do you want to play, littleblue?”

I can see the battle going on within her. She’s breathing rapidly, the pulse at her throat is pounding like a rabbit’s heart, and her eyes are dilated. She wants it alright, but she always thinks the things she wants are wrong when it comes to us.

I’ll spend my life showing her it’s right.

“Okay,” she says slowly. “Like, what is the set up? I’m a realtor? You’re the bad guy looking around?”

She thinks it will be like the plane again. I shake my head. “Oh, no, littleblue. You’ll just be you, and I’ll be me, but you’d better run, and you’d better hide because when I catch you, I’ll fucking annihilate you.”

Her breath catches, and she glances around as if already planning her escape route.

“I’ll go back downstairs and give you two minutes to find a safe place in this house, and then I’m coming for you, and I will catch you.” I take hold of her wrists in one hand. “And when I do, I expect you to put up a fight.”

She pulls her wrists free and takes off, surprising me. She runs to the large doors that lead to the main suite of rooms, and I laugh softly under my breath. She can’t hide from me in this house; I know every nook and cranny, but I will let her think she can.

I take the stairs slow and easy. My blood is pounding in my veins. I love the idea of getting to chase her down. To claim her that way. The way I would if we were early humans and I saw her in the wild, without her clan. I’d fucking take her as mine, claim her, and carry her back to my damn cave to keep with me forever.

Sitting at the dining table, I watch the second hand sweep by on my Rolex as my fingers drum the table top. I’m aching and hard already, but more than that, I want to break her open, because when I do, she puts herself back together again. Stronger. Like that broken bone.

She breaks me too, every damn time she looks at me.

So I suppose fair is only fair.

I stand, and head to the stairs. Time’s up.