Two Purple Gloves (A Pear Street Christmas #2)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“I will punch you in your Santa beard.”

HARRY

W e could totally sneak out of here, right? No one would miss us. There are enough family members here that someone would be looking after the kids, Mary fell asleep on my mother-in-law’s shoulder when we arrived and hasn’t stirred since. I could take my wife out of here, get her home and fuck her properly while the house is empty and have her back for the toasts at the end of the night. The plan is pretty solid in my head when Santa waves me over to the makeshift grotto. Mrs Claus nowhere in sight.

“Hey, man.”

“Hey, where’ve you been? Nel’s gone to get us some spiked hot chocolates and to look for Lisa, people have been asking for her.”

“Oh,” I try to temper the heat rising up my neck and not look too suspicious. “Well, I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.”

Jake guffaws. “Yeah, sure. Her lipstick suits you, by the way.” He points to my face where I’m now assuming I have cherry red lip prints everywhere.

“Fuck.” I start swiping at my face aggressively. That shit doesn’t come off easily.

“And your fly’s undone,” Jake very unhelpfully adds. I zip up and glare at him while he does absolutely nothing to hide his amusement. “And around all these kids, Harry.” He shakes his head with faux disappointment .

“We locked the door,” I hiss.

“Oh good, you’re learning. Great job, bud.”

“Prick.”

“Arsehole.” He smirks at me, and I smirk back. As annoying as he is, I love this guy, I love that we can joke and tease and still have the serious chats too. “Seriously though,” he says. “I guess you two are good now?”

Before I can answer that, a little girl approaches and Jake immediately gets into character, smiling wide beneath his fake beard.

“Hi kiddo, you want to come sit?” He pats his lap and the little girl shakes her head nervously. “Well, that’s okay. You looking forward to Christmas tomorrow?” She nods but still doesn’t say anything, looking up at me with wide and nervous eyes.

I sit down so I’m not so tall and smile at her. “You going to tell Santa what you want for Christmas?” She shakes her head again. “You keeping it a secret?” A nod with a sly smile and I can’t help but smile at her cuteness. “Did you send your letter to Santa in secret to see if he got you what you really wanted without you having to tell your mum and dad?” She nods again.

“That is very sneaky,” Jake says with an impressed smile.

“Can you tell me what you asked for?” I whisper. “I don’t even know who your mum and dad are, so I can’t tell them.”

She thinks about it for a second and smiles brightly before leaning in to whisper in my ear. “An astronaut suit.”

I gasp. “That’s so cool!”

She giggles and a woman comes rushing over. “Stacey! Where have you been?” She stops in front of us. “I’m so sorry, I told her not to come over until we were with her.”

“It’s no trouble,” Jake says. “Stacey and I were just discussing tonight’s delivery.”

“Ah, she told you?”

“No, actually,” Jake tells her but jerks his head at me.

I raise my hands in defeat. “I’m sorry, sworn to secrecy. ”

“Honey, can you go and find Daddy please? He was looking for you too.” The little girl runs into the crowd and her mum turns to me with narrowed eyes. “We bought three presents because we didn’t know which one she wanted, we figured she’d say something before tomorrow so we could choose one and return the other two. Are you going to tell me or am I picking at random?”

I make a show of thinking, tilting my head from side to side and pouting my lips. “That depends, if I don’t tell you, does she get all three?”

She tries to stare me down but starts smiling. “No.”

“Just, uh, give her some space . You’ll figure it out.”

Her eyes widen in excitement and her mouth drops open. “Thank you!” She scurries off and Jake and I fist bump.

“I have ten minutes and then I get to be Jake again. You gonna tell me what’s going on with you and Lis?”

I sigh, keeping my eyes forward rather than looking at him. “We were going through a little slump—”

“A sex slump?”

“An intimacy slump. I thought she just didn’t feel like being… intimate , so I didn’t push it. Then a few weeks ago, I walked in on her listening to a romance audiobook. Like, a really spicy one. And she was getting a little worked up.” I clear my throat and hope he gets it without any further explanation.

Jake looks at me between narrowed eyes like he’s trying to figure something out. “How spicy we talking?”

I smirk. “All good girls and pretty see-you-next-Tuesdays .”

Jake snorts. “Oh, I get you. Nel loves a good girl.”

My smile fades and I shiver at that, turning slowly to face Jake with a mixture of disgust and rage. “What the fuck?”

“Dude!” Jake stares at me in horrified surprise. “I am so sorry. I genuinely, momentarily forgot my fiancé is your sister.”

“You have just ruined a perfectly good bedroom tool. ”

“Man, I’m sorry.” But I’m not all convinced; his laughter betrays him.

“Seriously, what am I meant to say now in the heat of the moment? That was my go-to.”

“Uh, you know—”

“If you’re about to start that thought with ‘ Nel also likes,’ I will punch you in your Santa beard.”

“Shutting up now.” Despite myself, I smile at his dorkiness. “Anyway, you walked in on Lisa with a porn book.”

“Audiobook,” I correct even though it doesn’t really matter. “So, I thought she obviously wanted the intimacy, but she didn’t want it with me, that’s when I assumed she must be mad at me.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “I think I see the logic.”

“Turns out she’s just been feeling a little off since Mary came along and took my not initiating…intimacy as disinterest.”

“Ah.” Jake nods slowly in understanding. “So now that you’ve both communicated like healthy, well-balanced adults, you’re both horny as hell?”

“Pretty much.”

“And you have a house full and a baby sharing your room at night.”

“Yup.”

“So, you keep slinking off to pantries and cleaning cupboards to try and—” he waves his hand in search of the right word. “—be intimate .”

“I was fine living with blue balls when I thought Lis didn’t want to have sex with me, but now I know she’s as horny as I am, I think I might spontaneously combust if I don’t get to be with my wife soon.”

On cue, I see Lisa through the crowd, her lipstick perfectly in place, her silver dress shimmering in the lights and her eyes sparkling as she plays hostess. She smiles so genuinely at everyone she speaks to, sweeping through the groups like a Christmas fairy spreading joy and good tidings to everyone under her wings. I have never told her she’s beautiful out of duty or obligation, she really is stunningly gorgeous whether she’s dressed to impress or in her pyjamas—even the ones with the holes in them—with messy hair and not a lick of makeup.

“So, you didn’t just…?” Again, he trails off rather than saying something inappropriate in front of the group of kids that run past.

“That’s between me, Lisa, and the mop and bucket.” I give him a serious look and he bites on his cheeks. “Prick.”

“Arsehole.”

I turn back to watch Lisa as she throws her head back and laughs at something her uncle Gordan says to her dad, a now awake Mary balances on her hip in a pose so easy it looks graceful. Oscar runs to her to say something, she beams down on him and tweaks his nose before he runs off again to play with the many children currently going feral, hopped up on sugar and Christmas fuelled hysteria.

“You know, if you want to take off, I’ll get the kids home.”

I snap my head toward my best-friend, considering kissing him. “Really?”

“Yeah, go on, make up some excuse and head home, we’ll give you at least an hour. Go do nasty things to your wife.” He points his finger in my face. “But keep it respectful.”

I bat his hand away and shoot to my feet. “Thank you. Love you, Jakey.” I’m running toward my angel before he can respond.

Nel is stood with the group when I reach them. Without words, I take my beautiful and chubby-faced baby girl from Lisa, kissing those red, teething cheeks and plonk her into Nel’s arms. My sister looks a little shocked but dutifully holds her niece while questioning me without words.

“I need to borrow Lis for a bit, you’re good?”

“Sure,” Nel says, no less shocked. “I have to go change though. ”

“I’ve got her,” Gordan pipes up, taking the babe and tickling her neck, which Mary finds most unimpressive.

“Oh, okay.” Nel frowns slightly. “Once I’m divorced from Mr Claus though, I’m coming back to claim my baby cuddles.”

I smile at my sister, so glad she’s embracing the aunt role in a way she didn’t quite capture with the boys. No fault of her own, but it’s still heart-warming to know she loves the kids as much as Jake always has. Thank you , I mouth to her which she accepts with a small and still slightly confused smile as I lace my fingers with Lisa’s and pull her away.

“Where are we going?” Lisa whispers, practically jogging to keep up with my long, determined strides.

“Home.”

“What?”

“I’m exercising my marital rights, wife.”

We’re just outside the main hall in the little reception area when she comes to a stop and tugs on my hand. “We can’t just leave.”

“Jake’s got eyes on the boys, Nel has Mary, toasts aren’t for an hour. We can get home; I’ll make you come at least twice and be back here before anyone knows you’re missing.”

Her amusement can’t be hidden, no matter how hard she’s trying. “Harry, I’m the host, everyone’s been looking for me all night.”

I step forward until I’m crowding her, my hands landing on her narrow waist and squeezing enough to make her squirm. “Then let them keep looking for you. They’ll find you in an hour.”

She’s considering it. I can see the heat in her eyes and when she tilts her head slightly to one side, I press a gentle, open-mouthed kiss to the slender column of her neck. The hitch in her breath tells me I have her, that she’ll come home with me and let me draw out her pleasure. But when I open my mouth to encourage her out the door, a loud commotion followed by a pained cry comes from the hall. My need and want are lost because a father knows his own child’s distress and Lucas’s is piercing the air and turning my blood cold.