Tyrant (Satan’s Angels MC #1)

Chapter 2

Lark

A n hour into my prom, the one night that is supposed to basically be the be all, end all of life up to this point, all I want to do is leave. I don’t want to go home. I want to go somewhere quiet with Gray. I haven’t seen him like I used to. Haven’t been able to talk to him. It’s been almost a year since Raiden was locked up. One year out of five, and nothing is the same. Raiden never brought me around the clubhouse, and he didn’t let any of his club brothers meet me, but it was different with Gray. They’ve been best friends since before I was even born. There’s such a gap between us because my parents tried and tried and got nowhere until I came to be by some miracle.

I miss my brother.

I miss Gray.

I miss the way life used to be easy in ways I didn’t even comprehend.

A wave of misery washes through me, settling in my stomach like a block of ice. The high school gym is packed. It’s sweltering, loud, bright, and so pretentious.

“Gray?” I’m afraid to touch him. Afraid that if my hand even brushes against the sleeve of that black suit that makes him look like a fallen angel, all the heat and longing I’ve trapped inside of me for years will explode.

He bends his head and gives me that half crook of his lips that’s driven half the women in Hart into a flurry. “What’s up?”

The music pulses loudly around us. There are too many bodies pressing too close. It’s too hot in here. Too loud. Too many people excited to be young, celebrating their future. I don’t feel like I fit in. I’m an imposter. I hate this so much.

I didn’t want to waste money on the stupid dress, but my mom insisted. She was all for this being the best night of my life until she found out that Gray would be taking me. He cornered me after school a few weeks ago, riding up on that huge, growly bike, so beautiful in leather and denim that it hurt, and asked if it would be okay if he took me.

I told my mom last week it would be Gray picking me up and going to prom. She’s muttered about three words to be since then. My dad didn’t storm around the house or yell about it. He’s like my mom that way. I wonder if they’ll pretend I don’t exist for the rest of my life like they do about Raiden.

Except, I hear them talking when they don’t know I’m listening.

I hear my mom crying late at night.

I see the way my dad has aged.

“Lark?” Gray’s easy smile turns into a puzzled frown.

“I’m fine. I just… can we leave?”

Anyone else might try to talk me down, but not Gray. “Absolutely.”

He doesn’t give me his tattooed hand. He bands an arm around my shoulders instead and wraps his body around mine like a protective shield. The crowd parts for us even though we’re pushing our way against the grain. It’s Gray. Everyone knows who he is and what he’s a part of. Those who don’t envy and revere him, fear him, unless you’re a woman. I literally hear a few feminine sighs as we walk past.

I get it. Gray’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. He’s more than just attractive. He’s beautiful because he’s my Gray.

He doesn’t know that yet.

We finally make it outside. After the loud, hot gym the night feels almost cool even though it’s not. I don’t shiver. Out here, with Gray beside me, I can take a full breath for the first time in almost a year.

He removes his arm from my shoulders immediately. He walks beside me to his car, silently, not touching. He holds the door for me, and I don’t bug him again about being a white knight. He might be on the wrong side of the law most of the time, but he’s the most honorable man I know next to my brother.

I pull my seatbelt as Gray gets in and starts the car. It’s not his, but it smells like him. As always, that mixture of oil and gas and motors because he works on bikes all day long, fresh air because when he’s not working on them, he’s riding them, and the familiar scent of his cologne.

“Where do you want to go?”

He knows it’s not back to my house. It’s barely even nine yet. I don’t have to be home until eleven. We have time.

“I don’t know. Anywhere. Nowhere. Just not here.”

He nods. He knows a place. Of course he does. I’d trust Gray with anything. My hopes. My future. My life.

If only he wanted that, but I know he doesn’t. I shouldn’t either.

Gray drives. He’s quiet. There’s no music in the car. It’s not a new car and not old. A nineties sedan in faded red. It’s nondescript and Raiden once told me the guys drive vehicles like that because it’s easier to blend in when it matters.

Gray isn’t made to blend in. Not in this car and not in anything else. Even before all the tattoos, he wore his hair long. He was tall and muscular before other guys hit their growth spurts. His eyes aren’t green like any other green I’ve ever seen. I’ve never stood in a field of wild grass before, way out in the mountains, but I imagine such a thing exists and all those waving strands would mirror the color perfectly.

I know how silly and girlish that is. I’ve held onto that thought since I was ten or eleven. Grass probably doesn’t even grow on the mountains, let alone in fields, but the grass down here, the leaves, the plants, any gemstone—all natural and manmade things—they’re all the wrong color, so I had to invent something that doesn’t exist.

We pass through town, driving slightly under the speed limit. Gray is never reckless. As an outlaw, that’s the first thing people think. They don’t realize how much order and law belongs to the club. Raiden and Gray would die for each other, but they’d die for their brothers there too. The club gives all sorts of men a brotherhood. Not just the men, but their women too. They’re a family. That’s the most Raiden has ever told me and probably could tell me, but his eyes shone when he tried to explain what it was that drew him there when he had every opportunity in the world to go a different direction.

I get it. I think.

Gray finally stops the car out at the edge of town. There’s not much out here other than a few dirt roads, gravel turn offs, and the highway that leads out to all the ritzy cabins and vacation homes outside of Hart. Before all of that, before the mountains and the woods really start, there’s a bunch of nothing but a few houses hidden away along the back roads.

Hart is strange that way. You can drive half an hour and go from bustling industry, offices, a metropolitan center like any big city, to absolute calm, quiet, and peace. Hart is unique for other reasons. It’s halfway between Seattle and the Canadian border, which made it an ideal place for Zale Grand’s father to start his club. Since Zale took over, the club has grown because it had every opportunity to take power. Most of their money has to come from drugs now. I know that because I listen to what people say. Even if it’s only rumors, there’s always some truth to it. I’m also fully aware of what my brother went away for.

Gray rolls the car right to the edge of a field, down a dirt road. There are trees in the distance. They look slightly sinister in the sweep of his headlights. He shuts off the car and they go out a few seconds later. It’s still not fully dark inside. My heart races when Gray turns his face, and the moonlight illuminates just how ridiculously handsome he is.

I study him, drinking my fill shamelessly, without blinking. He’s one of those guys with a face carved of stone. His cheekbones are sharp, his brow strong, his eyes always that piercing and intense green. His lips are almost too full for a man, but framed in his thick beard, they only add to the ruggedness. He knows just how to grin, how to wink, how to float past women to make them fall at his feet.

He has this magnetic aura about him that draws men in too. Not in a sexual way, at least not when it comes to the men he surrounds himself with. People just want to be around him. Gray isn’t scary even though he’s heavily tattooed. The black ink extends up his neck and covers his hands and arms. He doesn’t swagger when he walks. It’s almost like he floats, which should be impossible in his huge, heavy boots. It might be his hair. It’s more like a mane and a riot than it is orderly and well behaved. The way it storms around his face, swaying and curling softly, dampens his sharp features. He’s the epitome of romance cover Viking or rock star.

I know we haven’t said anything this whole time. It feels like we don’t have to, but I break the silence anyway. I fold my hands in my lap tightly. “What are you thinking about?”

His sigh rattles through the car. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to share it with another soul?”

I’m shocked. So shocked that I might as well be having an out of body experience. Gray turns, and his face is half gorgeous and half terrifying. I hate the haunted shadows in his eyes.

“I promise,” I whisper, my heart rattling in my chest.

“You listen to the whispers. I know you do. What are people saying about my dad?”

I gulp, my mouth dry and suddenly bitter. I owe Gray the truth. He’s not going to be hurt by my words. He wants to know what I’ve heard. He’s not asking for intel he already knows. I still turn away and look out the passenger window, seeing nothing at all beyond the black except a few tiny twinkling lights in the distance. “That he might have turned against his own club. He doesn’t seem to care about his brothers anymore. He’s in it for the money. The greed. The power.” I run my tongue over the inside of my teeth, trying to wet my dry mouth. “I know it was you and your club brothers who scraped together the money when Raiden and the others were busted. It should have been a minimum of ten years, and I don’t know what that lawyer did or how you could afford him, but he worked magic.”

“It’s still five fucking years.”

“Yes.” It hurts to breathe thinking about my vibrant, sweet, smart, loving brother locked away in prison with real criminals. “No court looks kindly on someone with biker affiliations, so the lawyer you hired was more than magic. I can’t imagine your dad would have hired the same man, all the way from New York. He would have just used your regular club lawyer. It wasn’t him going away. Raiden might get out sooner, for good behavior. I know at twenty-five, it feels like a life sentence, but it’s not. Because of you.”

Silence. Everyone expects Gray to be a loud person like most wildly attractive, popular, magnetic people are, but that’s not him. He’s not broody, but the silence shifts in his wake like it holds him in an intimate embrace. I think that’s the real reason people like Gray so much. It’s not because of his easy laughter and good humor, not because he’s fiery and intelligent, not because he’s athletic and looks like he belongs in magazines and movies. It’s because he’s wise. He knows what to do in any situation. Guys know that he’s loyal. He’ll fight to the death if he has to, but usually, he can find a way out first.

“People are saying you’d be a better leader.”

I get zero reaction, which says he knows it, and if he knows it, then it’s real. My insides squirm and a real shiver of fear crawls through me, turning me to ice. It’s a dangerous thing, to have the current leader even think there might be a mutiny. It doesn’t matter that Gray is Zale’s son. I know more about Gray’s dad than most people, because of how close he and my brother are. I know he’s the kind of man who wouldn’t hesitate to do something to his own son if he ever challenged him.

“What would you do if you were president?”

It’s dangerous as death to even think it, but the words squeak out anyway. What can I do to stop Gray if he wants this? Nothing. I can do nothing. I’m sick with fear that I have to shove back down, telling myself that Gray is smart. He knows how to watch his back and keep himself safe.

“I’d grow the club,” he responds gruffly.

I turn to him, but he’s facing straight forward. The urge I have to take his hand is almost overwhelming. It fills me, stifling me. My fingers twitch in my lap. I clench them harder together, twisting my fingers so my nails face my palm, and I can dig them in, in and in and in to ground myself and to keep my thoughts from becoming stupid words that will ruin everything.

“Grow our infallibility.” He’s thought about this. He’s. Thought. About. This. “I’d make it so no run ever gets fucked up like that one. No one gets caught. And if they do, no one can do a thing about it because we are the law, and we own the law. We’d own this town. Own the politicians. Own the cops. Finish what my dad started by cleaning the place up so all the low-level criminals can’t keep causing trouble. I’d buy into more legit businesses. And ones that aren’t legit.”

Raiden isn’t here. Gray has no one to share these thoughts with. I realize what he’s risking to tell me. I act before I can think. That’s not true. I’ve thought about it for years. Years, and years and endless years. An eternity worth of nights and hours and minutes of longing.

I twist in my seat and lean sideways, setting my head on Gray’s shoulder. He’s so broad that I don’t have far to go. It’s not really his shoulder either, but his upper arm. I can feel the muscle beneath layers of fabric. He freezes, which tears me up like a wild animal inside. I’ve crossed a line, pushed past all the invisible boundaries.

I slowly straighten like nothing happened. Like it was a gesture of solidarity and friendship. Something a little sister would do to offer comfort and understanding.

“I’m going away,” I whisper, going for strong and getting strangled instead. “You’re going to be president when I’m back.”

“Prez,” he mutters. “President just sounds wrong.”

I can’t breathe. This is happening. I want to tell him to be careful. If anything ever stopped the breath in his golden body, the sun would cease to rise and fall. I might as well be dead. I can’t say that, so I don’t. I just sit and bleed out on the inside, caught between fear and longing and so much sadness.

“One day, I’ll be a struggling, starving artist and you’ll be the king of Hart. Raiden will be at your side. Your VP.”

He coughs loudly. I shouldn’t be talking about the future like that. I want to stop because I don’t want to hurt him, but I won’t be able to go away and live with myself if I think that he’s in danger. More danger than he’s already in, every day, belonging to an outlaw biker club whose activities are largely criminal.

“I would feel better knowing he’s at your side, there to protect you, and the other way around.”

“I’ve caused him enough pain and trouble.”

“Oh yes,” I snort. We’ve already been over this. I hate that Gray’s guilt is twisted through him like ivy, wrecking the very foundation its growing on. “You’re a ‘hooligan.’” I give that the air quotes it deserves. “You never corrupted my brother. You helped make him the best man I know.” If he did corrupt him, I’d like him to corrupt me too. Break me out of the boring, steady, sheltered life that I know and have me at his side.

If he’s king of this town one day, I’d want to be brave enough to be his queen. Even if I have no idea what that means now, I could learn. If only he’d give me the chance. He won’t. It feels like I’m always going to be trapped being the dutiful daughter. My destiny will always be set apart from Gray’s. I’ll have to watch from a distance as he comes to power, knowing full well that no one is invincible. There’s a shred of truth to every monster story. Demons come in all shapes and sizes, most of them masquerading in the skin of men. What can I do against all that?

“A whole bunch of things had to happen for you and Raiden to even meet. You might not have ever become friends, but the universe decreed it.”

He stares at me, eyes glistening ferally in the dark. We don’t speak again for a long time, but our breaths settle into a matched rhythm. I note the very second a shadow skates across his face. I blink, waiting for it to leave, but it doesn’t. My entire body clenches up tight, washed in heat when I feel the tension vibrate in the air between us.

I know Gray will start the car, laugh this off, and take me home. He’ll put space between us, do the obligatory stuff until I leave for college, and then probably pay someone a large amount of money to keep tabs on me in order to fulfill his promise to my brother to keep me safe. It’s breaking my heart that I can’t see Raiden. He won’t let me visit. I write to him, but it feels like I’m not doing anything. I know there’s nothing I can do, but helplessness is the worst feeling in the world.

Gray doesn’t move. Doesn’t grab the keys and crank the engine over.

I freeze, still as a marble pillar, when his tattooed hand reaches between us. He brushes a stray curl behind my ear in one fluid motion and withdraws. He barely even touched me, but that near graze was a thousand times more intimate that when he offered me his arm or shielded me with his body as we left what was supposed to be the most magical night of my life behind.

This is the most magical night of my life.

He coughs loudly and then throws back his head and lets out a bellow of laughter that would shock the hell out of anyone else, but not me. There’s no sound I love more in the world than that husky, throaty laughter.

Whatever tension or spell or fever dream existed between us is quickly shattered.

“The past and the present aren’t the places to be living.” He looks so perfectly composed that I can almost believe he means it. He’s back to looking at me like a little sister again, fondly, with love etched into his features. Did I imagine those shadows and heat tracing his face like a lover’s caress? “I should get you back home.”

“it’s not that late yet.”

“Still. I think your parents would be happier knowing you’re safe.”

“Safe,” I grumble, but I reach for my seatbelt and click it in place. “That’s all I’ve ever been and will be.”

“If I have anything to do with it.”

I know what he means, and it burns through me like a red-hot sword of disappointment. Safe like a child. Like the little kid I’ve always been. Raiden and Gray never wanted me to grow up. They never allowed me space or a boyfriend or a moment of self-discovery. They’ve smothered me the same way my parents have. I both love and hate this city. I hate the restrictions caging me in.

I want so much more. I want to claim this man, I want to be the one at his side, on the back of his bike, sharing his bed and his house and his life. I want to walk through his life with him, shelter and protect him like he has for me all these years. I want to share his worries and his laughter, even his tears. Gray isn’t like other men. He isn’t afraid to cry.

I want to throw myself across the stupid short gap between us before he starts this car and drives us away from this moment forever.

I don’t do it because of Raiden. Because of Gray. Because none of us are ready yet.

They’ve looked after me all this time, cared for me, body and soul. If I want to look after them the same way, I have to keep them safe from the one variable they never planned for.

Me .