Unexpected Harmony

15. Decisions

Chapter 15

Decisions

C ounting down the minutes until ten a.m., Aspen clutched her phone, willing time to speed up. The rest of their date had been heavenly, and the make-out session in front of Zoey’s parents’ house capped off the perfect evening.

Everything was perfect until she woke up that morning and saw her face gracing all the papers.

Whoever had captured the photo should buy a lottery ticket because the timing couldn’t have been better. It was right after the incident with the flying zucchini. A memory she’d replayed many times over the previous night, always with an endearing smile.

Not now, though. Fuckers.

She flung her iPad onto the couch, wishing she could crumble up the pages, which would be infinitely more satisfying.

Aspen Lake’s food gaff.

The article went on to speculate that the only way for her to get out of the date with an “unidentified woman” was to force a fight that escalated into a screaming match that left the woman in tears.

The photo they got was unflattering at best. She knew she’d been working her way through shocked emotions before they both laughed, but what they captured made her look sneery and unhappy.

The time finally slipped to ten, and Aspen clicked “call” so fast that she strained her finger.

“Hey, you.” Zoey’s calm voice soothed her instantly, but she wasn’t out of the woods yet.

“Hi. Umm, did you see?”

The moment it took Zoey to answer stretched into four lifetimes. She wasn’t ready to find out if this would be the last straw, but needed to know in order to work through everything else. She was frozen in the unknown.

“I did. How dare you try to shut me up by throwing food? You could have just used your words.” The teasing tone had Aspen’s knees buckling. “I’m surprised it took you so long to call. I was just drafting a text.”

Sitting down, she held the phone to her ear, knowing they would have more time. “You could call me anytime, you know. My mom always said I needed to wait until ten before calling anyone, but feel free to ignore that piece of advice.” Saying it out loud sounded silly, but that habit was so ingrained in her that she didn’t even think about breaking the rule.

“I know, I’m just teasing. I just woke up a bit ago. Good thing my phone was on silent because I had a lot of missed phone calls from thirty different people. I didn’t even know I knew that many people. That was the first clue something was amiss. Hey, Aspen?”

“Yeah?” Aspen held the phone closer to her ear.

“You have permission to call me at any time you want as well.”

“Thank you.” She watched her smile grow in the window across the living room. “Hey, Zoey?” she asked, enjoying the easy comfort they had right now.

“Yeah?” Zoey parroted their conversation.

“Can I take you on another date? One that I plan myself this time?”

She wanted to do it right. Wanted to show Zoey that she could put in the time and come up with something perfect.

“I’d love that. Just tell me when and where, and let’s add what type of clothing is needed to that list.”

Already, they had inside jokes. It felt nice. For so long, life had been going on around Aspen. People told her where to go, what to wear, how to be, what to say. And she went along like a good little dog, seeking affection and attention anywhere she could. What she was finding was a smile or touch from Zoey was more powerful than a thousand screaming fans. One look from her and the loneliness she didn’t know had been creeping in for years dissipated in the light.

“I will let you know ASAP. Let me do some research first.” A wisp of an idea was starting to take form, but she needed to research it further.

“Sounds perfect. I’ll await your call with the nerves of a puppy waiting for their person to come home. Tail wagging and everything.” Something squeaked on her side. “Sorry, Theo wants me to go with him to take Dug on a walk. I’ll talk with you soon.”

“Be safe,” Aspen said before they hung up.

Two days later, Aspen opened the door to her car and held her hand so Zoey could slide into the front seat. “Take two,” she said with a grin.

So far, their third date was similar to the second, except for the nervous giddy anticipation that tingled along her limbs.

“You look gorgeous, by the way,” Zoey said while twisting in the seat. The movement caused her wine-colored skirt to slide up, leaving a tantalizing view of her thigh.

“This old thing? You’re the knockout. I love that top.” Aspen glanced at Zoey, wondering if she could skip the date and go straight to kissing.

“Thanks. I found it last year while wandering through a garage sale of all places, but I haven’t had a chance to wear it until now.” Zoey plucked the fabric away from her stomach. “Where are you taking me?”

“Do you want it to be a surprise?” Aspen slammed on the brakes when a car stopped in front of them. She threw her hand across Zoey’s chest in reflex. Usually, her bag sat in the front and tended to fling forward when braked. Aspen hadn’t even realized she’d developed a habit of reaching across her seat until just that moment. “Sorry.” She pulled her hand away quickly when she realized where she’d grabbed.

“While you’re there, you should have squeezed,” Zoey teased, easing her hand into Aspen’s. “And, yeah, I like surprises.”

“I think I figured out the perfect date. I planned everything.” She felt like a kid displaying her art to a parent.

Pulling into a parking garage, Aspen swiped her prepaid parking ticket for a VIP spot. She didn’t want to take her chances with the valet this time.

“Right this way.” Aspen offered her arm to Zoey, who took it willingly as they wandered to the elevators. “These should take us right to the main floor.”

“Hmm, I recognize the building but I didn’t think you’d take me to see a movie,” Zoey said, her confusion continuing when the doors opened.

“Would you like any popcorn, drinks, or snacks?” Aspen indicated to the concession stand.

Zoey looked like she was trying to solve for x without having all the information. “Sure. Wait, is that what we’re doing? Seeing a movie?”

“Sort of,” Aspen responded cryptically, heading to the food. “We’re getting popcorn and a drink. It’s a must in this experience.” She stood in line, ignoring the pointing and whispers around her.

“Why did you say to dress semi-formal?” Zoey asked, stepping in line beside her.

“You’ll see. You’re not standing out, so don’t worry.” Aspen pointedly looked at the group around them, everyone dressed similarly to them.

Food in hand, Aspen handed over her phone for the usher to scan. When he saw where they were sitting, he called over an immaculately dressed person who enthusiastically showed them to their seats.

Straight in front on the upper balcony, Zoey took in their surroundings. An orchestra was warming up in the pit below a screen that was playing previews with no sound.

“Oh my God, I’ve always wanted to go to one of these.” Zoey clued into what was happening. She sat at the edge of her seat, bouncing in the chair. Aspen watched, thrilled by her genuine excitement.

She remembered Zoey wanted to create scores for movies, and what better date than to take her to a showing where a live orchestra played the scores during the show? This movie wasn’t even out yet, which made the viewing even more rare.

“What are we seeing?” Zoey leaned back, grasping Aspen’s arm.

“It’s called After the Sun Goes Down . If you’ve read the book, it’s based on that,” Aspen whispered. “I know a few people who worked on the movie and asked for tickets.”

“This is perfect. Thank you so much.” Zoey’s eyes were glistening as the lights went down.

Leaning over, Zoey placed a kiss at her temple. Aspen could tell she was over the moon, and she knew the date was already a success. An eerie lone note started playing from a violin before the rest of the orchestra joined in softly as the first scene appeared on the screen, a lone ship traveling through space as a little girl was chased down a sleek hallway by a group of boys.

“What was your favorite part?” Aspen asked as they walked hand in hand down the street, having decided to take advantage of the cool night air.

“The world building,” Zoey answered decisively.

“That’s not a part. What specifically?” Aspen teased, loving the easy flow they seemed to have.

“All scenes with the Queen. She stole the damn show. I need to read that book again. What was your favorite pa—” Zoey’s sentence trailed off, and her smile disappeared when she saw a growing crowd gathering in front of them.

“Come on.” Aspen pulled her along, picking up her pace, trying to break up the crowd with her burst of action.

“Should we go back to the car?” Zoey’s panicked words had reason flying out of Aspen’s brain.

“No, let’s go down this way.” Aspen turned down an alley, ducking behind a dumpster just in time. A flash of pain radiated up her ankle as she stumbled awkwardly. They kept quiet and watched as the group slowed, then moved on. Aspen waited another minute before strolling out with a new limp and heading in the direction they came from. She guided Zoey into a dimly lit bar. “This should do. Do you want anything to drink?”

She needed a moment to get herself under control again. Things could have quickly gotten out of hand.

“I’ll take a vodka soda.” Zoey’s voice shook as she stumbled towards a booth in the back.

Aspen watched her retreat, knowing there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about what went down and wondering if Zoey would get to the point where Aspen’s fame would be too much for her to handle.

Trying to keep her hands from shaking, Zoey knew she only had a few minutes to calm down.

Slumping into a booth, she cringed when her arm hit a sticky spot on the table. It was enough to pull her back towards the present.

“Here you go.” Aspen slid the glass across the table, quickly catching it before it tipped when it snagged on some unseen force.

“Thanks. Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I’d get so overwhelmed.” Zoey took a sip, hoping the burn would help ground her further.

“It takes some getting used to. I often have a security team in New York, but I haven’t needed one here until today. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Zoey felt Aspen scan her body, searching for some unseen harm that may have fallen on her.

“I’m fine, not a scratch.” Zoey held her arms, hoping to make light of the situation. “And it’s still on the top five list of dates.”

“How do I bump that to the top three?” Aspen’s shoulders relaxed as she melted into the chair.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to rate the goodnight kiss, which will determine ultimate placement.”

“A lot riding on a little kiss. It’ll be hard to top the room full of mirrors.” Aspen’s eyes smoldered from across the table.

Zoey leaned forward, her lips tingling in remembrance of their first date. A lot was riding on their next steps.

“I don’t think I’m going to go back to school,” Zoey blurted out, touching her lips.

Aspen sat back, sipping the dark liquid swirling in her cup. “How much time do you have left?”

“About a semester. I’m pretty sure I can get a job now, though. Watching the orchestra play that movie was inspiring. I want to do that, and I don’t think a measly little diploma will stop me.”

“Okay, let me play devil’s advocate for a moment. Do you think you’ll regret it? Being so close to finishing and not having the degree?”

Zoey sat back, taking in the question and seeing it in a new light for the first time. “No. I don’t think so. A diploma isn’t going to stop me from getting a job. I already have a lot of contacts from school. The only time a diploma might be needed is if I tried another job outside what I want to do, and in that case, a paltry few months aren’t going to make a difference.”

“That makes a lot of sense. I wouldn’t know either way, but it sounds like you’ve decided, and that’s usually most of the battle.” Aspen adjusted her foot under the table so it was touching Zoey’s. “Can I ask why you left?”

Needing a moment, Zoey excused herself to the restroom. She couldn’t believe after months of hemming and hawing over what path to take she’d just blurted her decision without thought.

Splashing water on her face, she looked in the cracked mirror. The weight of months of worry seemed to have slid off her back. Was she taller? She felt taller.

The next steps wouldn’t be any easier, but at least she had a direction to move towards. Her therapists would be so proud.

“Sorry about that,” Zoey said as she slid back into the booth.

“Everything okay?” Aspen leaned in closer.

Zoey grabbed her hand, kissing her knuckles. They stayed connected, each seeking answers in the other’s gaze.

“I’m great. I feel good to now have a direction.”

“It really shows on you. You’re glowing.” Aspen’s words were whispered just for her.

In the dingy bar, hiding from a crowd of people, Zoey’s world tilted as she fell a little harder for the superstar. Part of her was scared to let herself fully into Aspen’s life, not knowing if she could handle the chaos, but looking into the calm sea of Aspen’s blue eyes, Zoey felt like a lifeboat was sailing her way.

“I believe you asked why I left before I bolted to the restroom. I have something to tell you, but it’s quite dark and intense. If you’d rather I not say anything that’s okay. We can move on, but I’m willing to open up. Do you want to hear the story?” Zoey nestled her chin in her hand that was propped up on the table.

“Only if you really want to tell it. I’d love to hear anything about you, especially the important things.” The kindness, empathy, and genuine interest on Aspen’s face had Zoey spilling her darkest secrets.

Getting lost in her story, Zoey disclosed the whole truth. With each part she felt lighter as she unburdened herself. “… My roommate finally brought one of our professors into the room, where I was hunched over my desk. I hadn’t slept in well over thirty-six hours, had no idea when I’d last eaten, and showering—well, that was a distant memory.” Zoey’s throat hurt from talking so much, but she was almost at the end, and Aspen’s face hadn’t morphed into a disgusted snarl yet, so she took that as a positive sign and continued. “The professor, one of my closest mentors, took one look at the papers all over the room and called in a counselor. Through a series of events, I ended up in the psych ward for a few weeks.”

The hand holding Zoey’s squeezed in sympathy but didn’t retreat.

“What did the papers say?” Aspen asked gently.

Zoey flinched at the perceptive question.

Pausing to gather her thoughts, she noticed how vulnerable she felt. She was opening up to someone she hadn’t known very long. However, if they were to have any chance at all, she needed to let Aspen in.

Taking a breath, Zoey said, “I thought I was working on a breakthrough for the orchestra piece, but all the papers were scrawled over and over with the words, Monsters come in the night. Sleep and end it all. I have no memory of writing it. I think the scariest thing was how fast I crumbled. There is something humbling and terrifying about not remembering three days of my life. I wasn’t suicidal but my therapist said I had a psychotic episode. I now know what symptoms to watch out for.”

“Why did it take your roommate so long to get help?” Aspen’s anger rose like the tides.

“I don’t remember having any conversations with her, but she told me I was fairly coherent and would brush off any of her concerns. It wasn’t until she saw the pages that she brought in Professor Lang.”

There. Zoey had let everything out in the open. Now all she had to do was wait and see if Aspen would run for the hills.

“I can’t imagine the turmoil of going through something like that. Are there things I could look for or warning signs I should be aware of?” Aspen got up from her side of the booth and slid in next to Zoey.

Her whole body shook as she tried to dispel the excess energy from opening up her soul like that. She was emotionally drained and felt like her body had been scraped with sandpaper. Aspen’s steady arms felt good wrapped around her shoulders as she provided silent comfort.

“I think the first sign is lack of sleep or getting really deep into the music. For example, if I’m obsessing over something for a day, it might be time to try to redirect me. I’m on meds and go to therapy, so it’s definitely managed, I just have to be careful about stressors and to be aware of any changes in my behavior. I’m sorry. I don’t feel like you should have to deal with this. It might be too much.” Zoey knew she was doing the classic open up and push away but couldn’t help it. How could anyone feel worthy of dating The Aspen Lake ? Add some mental health concerns, and Zoey was pretty sure she didn’t even deserve to be in the same space as her, let alone kiss those damn lips.

“Don’t do that. I can see you’re catastrophizing, and I’m telling you right now, you’re worth it. So I have to watch out for a few warning signs. Believe me, looking at you and paying attention to you aren’t hardships.” Aspen’s face was open and only quiet concern was shining through her eyes.

Zoey felt Aspen pulling her closer as she brushed a kiss against her temple. Aspen’s warm lips against her skin felt like a summer breeze and ocean air.

“Thank you.” Zoey relaxed further into her arms. She wanted to turn her head and connect with those perfect lips but was well aware they were in a public place, and it wasn’t the time.

“No, thank you. Thank you for opening up to me. You’re a brave warrior, and I feel lucky to get to know you.” The words Aspen whispered against her temple unlocked a flood of emotions Zoey couldn’t keep back.

Crying silently, Zoey again felt another weight lift off her. She was sure she could float home without any trouble. “Sorry, this is some third date.” She reached for a napkin. Leaning against Aspen, Zoey felt protected by her strength. Like it was okay to show vulnerability because Aspen was willing to help hold her up.

“It’s still in the top three for me. Don’t apologize for your emotions, Zoey. Dating isn’t about just the fun things we get to do. If we want this to turn into something, we have to be real. Life is just as much about pain, hurt, and turmoil as it is about love, laughter, and good times. Without the pain, we can’t appreciate the beauty.” Aspen ended her impassioned speech with bright eyes as they turned to study each other.

“You should be a songwriter… Or a therapist.” Zoey sniffled. She tried to keep the embarrassment from hitting her over the head but knew it wasn’t far behind.

Aspen tucked a hair behind Zoey’s ear. “Come on. Let me take you home. If I remember correctly, there was a promise of a kiss at the end of this date.” Her eyebrows bounced up and down, breaking the emotional tension.

“Well, by all means, lead the way.” Zoey hurried out of the booth, keeping her head down as they walked through the bar. There were a few flashes, but nobody bothered them.

The bar held Zoey’s shedded skin—a past version of herself who was changing and growing. The future looked bright as they walked in the darkened night towards the car.