Unfettered Vampire (Found & Freed: The Unfettered #5)

21. Chapter 21

Chapter twenty-one

Ned

J eez, I sound like a cheerful person. I’m humming as I drive to work. What kind of a freak does that? Me, apparently.

Not even the traffic is ruining my good mood. I have plenty of time. It is a nice day. My car has a UV filter on the glass. It’s all good.

Hmm, thinking of glass. Now that Morgan knows what I am, maybe we can get UV glass for the house. Not having to dodge sunbeams would be great. It was one good thing about the penthouse Ritchie kept us in.

The boys all offered to chip in to get the house kitted out, but it’s pricey, and I dunno. I already feel bad enough that they all agreed to move here so I could be close to the children. They claimed no one else had any connections to anywhere, so it made no difference. But it feels like a big deal to me. Adding special glass is a whole other step. It feels kind of permanent. Like declaring that it’s my forever home or something.

Oh shit. That’s exactly what I was just thinking about for Morgan’s home. And I don’t even live there. For flip’s sake, we’ve only just started dating, and look at me, practically picking out the wedding vows. I’m such a sappy shit.

Morgan’s house comes into view and a huge grin spreads across my face. Yep. I’m officially a sappy shit.

I park close to the door, get my keys ready, and make a run for it. As soon as I unlock the door and step inside, my senses prickle. Something feels off. It is far too quiet for a start.

I head down the hall and find Morgan in the kitchen, sitting at the table. His expression is unreadable. It’s nothing good, I can tell that much at least.

I swallow. “Where are the kids?”

“Tina has taken them to the park.” Morgan’s voice is cold. Inflectionless. It’s making the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

“Tina? The babysitter?” I squeak.

What the fuck is going on? A heavy feeling of utter dread is dragging at my guts.

Morgan nods, the movement slow and heavy.

I lick my lips. “What’s wrong?” I say, even though I’m not sure I want to know.

“You are Jennifer’s grandfather.”

The words hit me like a sucker punch. They knock all the air out of me. Four little words that are shattering everything and causing my world to tumble down.

Ridiculously, it is on the tip of my tongue to correct him and say, ‘great-grandfather,’ as if that will make any difference. Thankfully, it dies on my lips and a single strangled word comes out instead.

“How?”

“Jade came over to see me yesterday. ”

Another sucker punch, no scrub that. This is a stake to the heart. Cruel and painful. Wiping out all the light in the world. It’s betrayal. It’s hurt. It’s confusion.

Why would Jade do such a thing to me? He could have least given me an ultimatum first. Tell me to tell Morgan myself. Why this destruction? What was the urgency? Does Jade hate me? And if so, why? What have I ever done to him?

Morgan draws in a big shuddering breath and all thoughts of Jade flee my mind. All my focus is on this wonderful man before me. Wonderful and wounded. Because of me.

“This was all so you could get close to the kids?” he asks in a tone of bewildered shock. “Was being their nanny not enough? You wanted to be their stepfather?”

Pain lances through my chest. I take a step towards him and then falter to a stop. It is very clear that he doesn’t want me close to him.

“Being their nanny is more than enough, I swear. I tried so hard not to fall for you.”

Not hard enough, clearly. But regardless of that, I cannot bear the thought of Morgan believing for even one second that my feelings for him are false. That I manipulated him and used him. I’m a liar, yes. A concealer of the truth, absolutely. But everything else is real. He has to believe that, if he believes nothing else.

Morgan looks away from me, as if holding my gaze is causing him pain. He stares out of the window and I stand here awkwardly while a deep silence shrouds us. Long minutes pass.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispers finally .

And lord am I happy the awful silence is broken. But this is a question I don’t have an answer for.

“Because I’m an asshole,” I confess.

More silence.

Then, “You look like her.” He stops suddenly and shakes his head. “I guess she looked like you.” He buries his head in his hands. “This is so confusing.”

My tongue is sticking to the roof of my mouth. I cannot think of a single word to say. I feel like I’m dying. My soul is withering, its flame extinguishing. Any moment now and I’m going to cease to exist.

“Maybe I’m an asshole too,” Morgan says suddenly. “I think it was the resemblance that first attracted me to you.”

My heart thuds. It twists. No, no, no. Morgan cannot blame himself for any of this. He has done nothing wrong. All the blame is mine, and mine alone.

“I’m so sorry,” I croak out uselessly.

There are so many things I need to say to him. So much I have to explain. But I have never been more lost for words. It is so unfair. Why does the power of speech have to desert me now, of all times?

“I knew you were older than you looked. But this? Jennifer. The kids. How…how… you can’t be their grandfather and their stepdad.”

Once again, the word ‘great’ is on the tip of my tongue. But it is pointless. I don’t think an extra generation or two is going to change how Morgan feels about this.

“I fucked my dead wife’s grandfather.”

Morgan looks up at me. His eyes are full of horror. His expression is stricken. He is thoroughly aghast. He hates what we did. He regrets making love to me .

I never thought he’d see it like this. To me, it’s awkward. Inconvenient. A whole lot of unconventional. But it doesn’t feel like a sin. It doesn’t feel like incest. Or betrayal of Jennifer’s memory.

I want Morgan so much that this whole being related thing, is something I overcame. I can overlook it now. It is far from ideal, but it is not a deal breaker.

But I never gave Morgan a choice. I didn’t give him the truth so he could make up his own mind. I simply took what I wanted because I wanted it. I’m every bit as evil and twisted as Ritchie.

I suck in a breath that sounds like a sob. My heart is beating, and it is breaking. I never wanted to hurt Morgan. Ever. And it is the only thing I’ve ever done to him.

“I’m so sorry,” I repeat uselessly.

There is hot wetness on my cheeks. I think I’m crying. Woodenly I turn. Stiffly, I walk away. For the first time ever, I feel like the animated corpse that I am.

I walk out of Morgan’s home.

And he doesn’t call me back.