Unknown Royal Baby

Chapter Eleven

CHAPTER ELEVEN

D UTY .

There was that word again. Until she’d met Isam it had never bothered her. She told herself it shouldn’t now. She was glad he wouldn’t shirk doing the right thing by their child. Besides which, he was clearly besotted by Maryam.

If Avril’s parents had loved her more, if they’d been as committed as him to doing their parental duty, they wouldn’t have left her behind.

Don’t go there. You can’t change the past. As for the future, your focus must be Maryam, ensuring she has the parental love and care you didn’t.

Cilla had been a wonderful role model and taught her so much, loved her so dearly. But there’d always been a part of Avril ready to believe she wasn’t enough, wasn’t lovable, and that was why her parents found it so easy to leave.

Now the man she was about to marry reminded her their wedding was all about duty.

She pushed down burgeoning hurt, crushed it into a dark recess behind her ribs and slammed a lid down on it. She couldn’t afford to feel hurt, not if they were going to make this work.

‘Sorry, what were you saying?’

Isam had spoken but she’d been caught up in her thoughts. But the time for regret and doubt was over. She had committed to this.

‘I said we need to spend more time together.’ Pale eyes held hers but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. ‘Since we returned to Zahdar I’ve been putting out spot fires of Hafiz’s making. But now we have a lead on how he’s causing the trouble, I can step back a little, help you adjust.’

Avril tried to ignore her flutter of pleasure. ‘What do you have in mind?’

‘My staff will organise briefings for you on palace protocol, local history and customs, and so on. Useful things that will help you when you become Sheikha. But you won’t just be taking on a royal title, we’ll be building a marriage. We need to know each other better, trust each other.’

‘You want to get to know me?’

‘Is that so bad?’

‘Of course not. It makes sense.’

Avril didn’t know whether to be pleased at his sensible approach, or disappointed. It sounded as though he intended to schedule slots for her in his busy timetable. Would they do Q and As across his desk?

The difference between that and last night’s encounter, when he’d buried his head between her legs and taken her to the stars, made her want to weep. She wished he’d gather her close and make love to her instead of sitting on the other side of the table.

She didn’t know where she stood with Isam. Most of the time he acted like a polite acquaintance, but last night... All she knew for sure was that he saw her as key to claiming his daughter.

Avril looked away, reaching for a peach, rather than reveal disappointment that, despite last night’s intimacy, he viewed their relationship as something to be planned.

‘How do you want to do that?’ She bit into the peach, its sweet lushness the complete opposite of their dry conversation.

His expression changed, so quickly she couldn’t read his gleaming eyes before his features settled again into calm lines.

She’d give so much to see him raw and unguarded.

‘Sharing breakfast each morning would be a good start, yes?’

She kept her tone non-committal. ‘Yes, an excellent start.’

‘And perhaps there are some things you’d especially like to see and do. After we marry we’ll tour the kingdom and I can show you my country. But for now it will need to be things in or near the capital. What interests you?’

Isam’s question stumped her for a moment. She’d spent so long fretting over practicalities, preparing for single motherhood, worrying what would happen if her salary dried up, learning to care for a baby. How long since she’d thought of things she’d like to do?

Not since Cilla persuaded you to make that list.

‘Avril?’

‘There are some things,’ she said slowly, remembering Cilla’s enthusiasm and her own over the catalogue she’d compiled. She’d done it for Cilla’s sake but had found a genuine spark of excitement at the possibility of expanding her horizons one day. Before Isam and an unexpected pregnancy changed everything.

He leaned closer, his clean, citrus smell invading her nostrils and making her tremble. ‘Go on.’

‘I want to learn to drive. In London there seemed no point but I always wanted...’

‘What did you want, Avril?’

His low voice thrummed across her flesh, teasing her so she blurted out, ‘Travel. Adventure. To see and explore. I wanted to see the Northern Lights. Learn to navigate by the stars. Go hot-air ballooning. Waterski and scuba-dive.’

She clamped her mouth shut. Adventure and a life of royal duty were hardly compatible. The only thing on her list that she was likely to achieve was to learn another language, not as she’d imagined—to help her on her travels—but simply so she could communicate in her new country.

To her surprise Isam grinned and despite everything she felt a ripple of pleasure deep inside. He looked jubilant, the habitual gravity of his expression morphing into an enthusiasm that made him look younger and stunningly handsome. Her pulse quickened and she leaned closer, drawn by his magnetism.

‘You’ve come to the right place. Not for the Northern Lights, but we can travel to see them some time. For the rest, Zahdar is perfect. Along the coast there are some excellent diving spots and there’s a lagoon perfect for waterskiing. Hot-air ballooning is popular inland and as for navigating by the stars, that’s a highly prized local skill. Astronomers come from around the world to see our night skies in the desert. We have an excellent observatory. I can show all that to you, Avril. And I can teach you to drive.’

‘ You can?’

He nodded. ‘Who better? We’ll take a four-wheel drive out of the city.’

‘A four-wheel drive? I was thinking of something small.’

‘Why not learn to drive something that will take you off road? It’s more practical here and all the better when you want an adventure.’

His enthusiasm was contagious, but she couldn’t allow herself to be carried away. ‘Are sheikhas allowed to have adventures?’

She’d assumed her new future would be hemmed in by strict rules about conservative royal behaviour.

‘Why not? My father said...’

Avril watched Isam’s expression change, his smile falter. She waited but he didn’t continue and she had the feeling that instead of seeing her his gaze was inward-looking. What did he see?

She waited. Was it a memory? Something he’d only now recalled? Surely that was a good thing. Then she saw his forehead scrunch up and taut lines bracket his mouth as if he were in pain. His hand went to the scars near his temple where his pulse throbbed.

‘Isam.’ She leaned in, her hand on his arm, feeling his tense muscles. ‘Are you all right?’

She was used to him being strong and in control. The sight of him frozen in what looked like pain made her heart squeeze.

Finally, to her relief, he seemed to focus again. He stared as if surprised to see her.

She poured water into a crystal goblet and took it around the table to him, crouching beside him and curling the fingers of his other hand around the stem. Surely she only imagined they felt cold.

‘Drink this.’ She supported his hand, lifting it to his mouth. ‘You’ll feel better.’

She had no idea if it were true, but she couldn’t bear seeing him like that. He sipped then lowered the goblet.

‘My apologies.’ His voice was a husk of sound and his throat worked as if he tried to coax stiff muscles into action. ‘I...’

‘Don’t apologise. Are you okay?’

He rubbed his temple, frowning. ‘I’m fine, nothing to worry about.’

But Avril did worry. Because despite all the warnings she’d given herself, Isam mattered to her.

Not because of Maryam or public expectations that they marry. But because she cared.

Even when they were boss and PA, when he should have been off-limits, she’d felt so much for him. It should be impossible, given how little time they’d spent together, but something about this man called to her. Made her yearn. Made her feel...

‘Shall I call for a doctor?’

‘No doctor!’ He drew a deep breath. ‘Thanks, but it’s all good.’ His mouth hooked up in a crooked smile that tugged at her heart. ‘It may not look it but it’s true. Sometimes memories come back easily and other times...’ He rubbed his temple then reached for his coffee.

‘It will be cold now.’ She rose to her feet. ‘I’ll get a new pot.’

‘No.’ Long fingers shackled her wrist, warm and strong. ‘Water’s fine. Please, sit down. I don’t need caffeine. I’ve already had enough stimulation.’

His mouth twisted wryly yet Avril saw the sheen of moisture brightening his eyes and knew he was more affected than he pretended. She covered his encompassing hand with hers.

She wanted to quiz him but he was entitled to privacy. They’d been physically intimate but not emotionally. It wasn’t as if they...

‘I’m sorry I worried you.’ He took another long draught of water, his gaze fixed in the distance. ‘I’ve been remembering more and more lately, but mainly less significant things. Now, out of the blue, I remember talking with my father on the day he died.’

Isam turned and fixed her with that turbulent grey gaze, heavy with emotion.

Her chest squeezed. Was he remembering the accident? ‘Oh, Isam.’

‘It’s okay.’ He moved his hand, threading his fingers through hers. ‘It’s a good memory, from before the crash.’

Yet her heart went out to him. Though she’d been prepared for it, Cilla’s death had left her distraught. How much harder to lose a loved parent suddenly?

‘I’m glad. Good memories are to be treasured.’

‘He was particularly happy that day. I’d agreed to stand in for him so he could have a week off. He’d planned a couple of nights in the desert with a few old friends. I ribbed him about getting too old for camping and he said that a little adventure now and then was good for the soul. That it was important to take a break occasionally from the stress of governing.’

‘He sounds like a wise man.’

Isam’s eyes met hers. ‘He was. The best man I knew.’ He paused and she wondered if he was reliving that precious memory. ‘He was pleased for another reason too, something else I’ve just remembered. I’m glad I could tell him that day.’ Isam’s voice roughened. ‘That he knew before he died.’

Avril heard his raw emotion. ‘You don’t have to tell—’

‘I want to.’ Eyes that before had been pewter-dark now shone silver. ‘Besides, it’s related to your old job, my investments in Europe. Given everything else, I haven’t had time to go through all the reports in detail.’

Her curiosity rose. ‘Your business is doing very well.’

‘Yes. So well that I told my father that day that I was in a position to invest some of the profits. There was an initiative I wanted to start in Zahdar. When I’d initially raised it my father liked the idea but said other matters took priority, like funding medical facilities, infrastructure and schools. He wouldn’t divert public money into it when there were too many other areas of need.’

Understanding dawned. ‘So you decided to invest your private funds to raise money for it?’

He inclined his head. ‘It will be a long-term project but it’s important to me. I’d floated the idea with members of the Royal Council. Most liked it but Hafiz was against it, said it showed my priorities were wrong.’ He frowned.

Avril broke the growing silence. ‘I’d back your priorities over his any day.’

A smile tugged at the corners of Isam’s mouth and the look he gave her made something inside sing.

‘Thank you, Avril. When I was recuperating he’d mention things I’d apparently said or done that seemed to make no sense. For a while I wondered if my faculties had been affected by the accident. Before I realised he was trying to gaslight me.’

‘He sounds like a poisonous man. I wouldn’t trust him.’

‘On that we’re agreed. No doubt when I announce my initiative he’ll try to undermine it.’

‘But what is it?’

‘It was inspired by my sister, Nur. You know she died young?’

Avril nodded, watching his expression cloud. Clearly his grief was still profound, both for his father and his sister. She thought of losing Cilla and what a relief it had been to talk about her aunt with friends rather than bottle up her loss.

‘Was it a long illness?’

Isam’s expression sharpened and she feared she’d said the wrong thing. Would he see this as prurient curiosity? For a long time he didn’t speak. But eventually the words came.

‘I was at home the night Nur became ill. She’d complained of a headache so I got her pain relief and sat with her while she rested. But when she opened her eyes a little later she winced at the light and she had a temperature, so I called the doctor.’ He paused, swallowing, and Avril felt his pain. ‘By the time he arrived she was complaining of a stiff neck and her temperature had spiked. It was meningitis, swift and fatal.’

Avril heard the desperation in his voice, saw him turn rigid, felt his hand tense around hers.

Not just with grief, she realised, but with guilt. Her heart ached for him. He had such drive, he was used to solving problems and making things better for people. How it must have hit him to be helpless to save his sister. No wonder he was distressed.

‘I’m sure the medical staff did all they could.’

Isam inclined his head but his features remained strained.

‘ You did all you could, Isam. You were there for her, with her. You got help as soon as you realised there was a problem.’

‘If I’d realised earlier—’

‘How could you, when it just seemed like a headache? I’m sure the doctors told you that.’

He nodded but said nothing and she wondered if there was anything she could say to ease the burden. ‘What was she like? Do you want to tell me about her?’

She saw his shoulders ease down. ‘From the time she could walk she was always on the move. Most of the time she ran rather than walked. She was happy and curious, always busy, often laughing, and she had a kind heart.’

Isam’s mouth formed a crooked smile that tugged at Avril’s heart. ‘She sounds lovely.’

‘She was.’ He paused and rolled his shoulders back. ‘Nur was enthusiastic and energetic but sometimes found school difficult. She passed all her subjects but teachers expected much more and some of her peers were eager to see her fail.’

Avril must have voiced her dismay because he squeezed her hand. ‘Sometimes being royal isn’t easy. My father could have had her taught privately but he thought it important that she learn to mix with others and hold her own.’

Avril’s respect for his family grew. ‘That sounds tough.’ Like most people, she’d thought of royalty mainly in terms of wealth and privilege, not its difficulties.

‘Nur was athletic and sport became an outlet for her. She found her niche in team sports. She was a born leader, encouraging other players, building bonds between them. It was marvellous to see and all the girls gained confidence and abilities from what they learned together.’

‘She was lucky to have such a proud big brother.’

Isam looked startled, then shrugged as if it was nothing. But Avril knew many children didn’t have such loving support, and how much difference it could make, having someone who cared.

‘You have to understand we don’t have a strong history of female sport here. Sport isn’t included in our school curriculum for either sex. That’s what I want to change, to give them all the chance to participate no matter where they live or what their gender. Health experts and educators talk about the benefits of physical activity, and from watching Nur and her friends I saw so many positives. Not just fitness but self-confidence, teamwork, discipline and, for some, a chance to excel.’

He spoke so eloquently, it was easy to read the strength of his feelings as well as the work he’d put into exploring this. She felt caught up in his enthusiasm.

‘I want to establish facilities across the country so all our young people have the chance to engage in sport, in school and outside it. I want to tie it into programmes on healthy living and give every child and adolescent chances simply to enjoy themselves. Life can be short and for some it’s very difficult. This is another way to bring people together, building bonds and individual benefits.

‘Sorry, I’m on my soapbox. It’s something I want to do in Nur’s memory. My father was fully behind it, if I could raise the funds.’

Avril sank back, moved by his passion. For his beloved sister and his people. How many political leaders used their own money to achieve something for the public good?

‘I think it’s a terrific idea, giving chances to people who don’t already have them.’

She imagined there were plenty of remote locations in Zahdar. She wondered if Hafiz’s objection were solely because of the cost or because the project would specifically include females.

‘I’m not particularly sporty but I used to play volleyball.’ Before her hectic job with a previous employer cut into her free time. ‘I joined to keep fit and I definitely felt healthier for it, but I loved the camaraderie most of all.’

She hadn’t realised until now how much she’d missed it. She’d had less time for friends after that.

Abruptly she became aware she and Isam still held hands. She looked at their intertwined fingers. There was nothing sexual in their touch yet it felt...powerful.

This man evoked such strong feelings, far more than a sexual yearning. He’d moved her with his talk of his sister and father. It was clear Isam had loved them, that their loss still hurt.

He felt deeply. How that appealed to her. Imagine being loved so steadfastly.

Now he was truly letting her into his life, sharing his hopes and emotions. Excitement rose. He’d opened up in a way that made her wonder if their future might be brighter than she’d thought. Perhaps, in time, there was a chance...

‘What are you thinking, Avril? Tell me.’

It wasn’t a command, but that coaxing, velvet voice was irresistible. She looked up and felt a beat of something pass between them. Heat rushed through her. She felt it climb her throat and pool deep too.

She could blurt out her neediness. How much she wanted from him. She could fret over his feelings. Or she could follow his example and simply commit to what now felt right.

Because she loved him.

Amazing that she hadn’t recognised it before.

‘You’re a good man, Isam. I know an unknown, foreign wife isn’t an ideal sheikha. I know Hafiz and others will try to use that against you, but I’ll do my best not to let you down.’