Unveiled Wishes (Iron Shield MC #2)

13. Loved Openly, Loudly

Chapter 13

Loved Openly, Loudly

P retty

“Alright, Little Man. It’s you and me. Daddy has to make sure that your mama is safe.”

Meredith’s phone call had darkened the mood in the main room. She wouldn’t have reached out to Grizz for help unless the women were in serious trouble. It wasn’t in her nature, which had set the rest of the men on edge. Sabre couldn’t be in two places at once. His mind was on Grace, but the kid needed to go to bed, and while I cared about the women, I didn’t have any skin in this game. Wreck was sitting in the main room, safe. Instead, I bounded up the stairs to play JR’s favorite uncle, easing the weight off of Sabre. He’d be able to focus on the situation at hand.

I held JR against my shoulder and turned the door handle to Sabre’s room. As president, he had the largest room on the second floor. However, when we’d rolled a crib in, there hadn’t been enough space.

“There’s no room to walk,” Grace had said when she’d surveyed the setup.

“The crib touches the bed,” Sabre had chuckled, sliding his hands in his back pockets.

“Like I said, there’s no room,” Grace had retorted, rolling her eyes at him, clearly missing the point.

“He’s trying to tell you that if the bed is a-rockin’, JR’s going to get his first roller coaster experience.” I had added a few hip thrusting motions and some groans to really sell it.

Grizz had been knocking on the far wall when he paused and asked, “Whose room is next door?”

“Jig, but he won’t be needing it. What are you thinking?” Sabre had shifted and thrown his arm around Grace’s shoulders, pulling her closer into his body.

Grizz had knocked on the wall again. “This isn’t a load-bearing wall. I should be able to cut into it so that JR can have his own space next door, but you’ll still be able to reach him through your room. If we seal the outside door into the hallway, it’ll only keep him safe.”

JR had made a noise as if he agreed. The kid had impeccable timing, kind of like his uncle.

I headed straight to the rocking chair and gently sat down with JR nestled in the crook of my arm. He lay on his back, his tiny feet kicking in the air, and I used my other hand to rub his soft tummy. Sabre had already given him his last bottle for the night, so all I had to do was rock him until he drifted off to sleep. The room was quiet, save for the creak of the rocking chair, and I savored the peace.

I shifted slightly, pulling my phone from my back pocket and dimming the screen. Grace had placed a bookshelf in JR’s room, but I wasn’t interested in reading those stories. JR didn’t need to hear about one fish, two fish. Instead, I pulled up the latest copy of Bikers Anonymous . I glanced at JR one last time and chuckled at his upturned face. His eyes were open, and his lips were parted, still searching for another bottle.

“Sorry, Little Man. You already had your bottle for the night.” His little mouth kept making fish motions. “Yeah, I know. Uncle used to like to drink from the source too, but you’re going to have to wait until you’re older.” His brow furrowed as if was scowling at me. “Don’t worry. When you’re eighteen, we’ll take you to the tit show. Your mother would kill me if I took you now.”

I rocked in the chair for a few more minutes before I went back to my phone. “Here we go,” I said to him, reading from the biker magazine about timing chains. I was about halfway through the article when I heard the door to Sabre’s room open. I had had a feeling he would show.

Wreck stuck his head into the room, and when he heard me, he sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. I could feel his eyes watching me as I continued to read from my phone.

The article ended, and I caught Wreck’s eye when he pointed at JR. The baby was asleep, his little fist in his mouth. I put my phone on the arm of the rocker. Making sure I didn’t stop the motion of the chair, I stared at Wreck, and he stared right back at me.

“Do you want kids of your own?” he asked me.

I knew what he meant, but I played coy. “In what context?”

He nodded his head at JR. “To give him a cousin.”

“That would require a woman,” I said flippantly.

“So?” he asked. He slightly raised his eyebrows but narrowed his eyes at me. I didn’t understand why he was confused. It wasn’t like either of us could carry a baby.

“I am not interested in a woman. Not interested in sharing you with one, either.” This was the closest I had ever come to laying it all out on the table for him.

Wreck said nothing as he leaned the back of his head against the wall, his eyes never leaving me as I rocked JR.

“Don’t make me spell this out for you.” I shook my head, not stopping the chair. I wanted to make sure JR was sound asleep before I placed him in his crib for the night.

“I guess you’re going to have to.”

“Why are you listening now, when you usually blow me off?”

“It’s more like suck you off,” he said. Waving his hands over his spot on the floor, he continued, “I’m sitting right here.”

“Are you actually paying attention?” Usually, I’d take the easy way out and crack some stupid joke, but I wasn’t sure I would ever get this chance again, and I was angry at him for not taking it seriously.

“What’s up with you?”

“I am tired, Wreck, and this conversation will go nowhere. You won’t or can’t claim me openly, even though everyone knows already. We’re the worst-kept secret in this place.” JR shifted against me, his hand coming up to rest on my heart. Even my nephew knew his uncle was falling apart over this man. I tucked the baby further into my arm and continued to rock.

“You wouldn’t understand even if I tried to explain,” he sputtered.

“I am sitting right here,” I pleaded, using his words. When there was silence again, I said, “I know my place in your world, and it’s not number one.”

Wreck opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t make a sound. Nothing had changed. He refused to explain, and I had given up on trying to persuade him to let me in.

“Just stop. I want to be loved openly. Loudly.” I swiped at the corner of my eye. “If you can’t do that, leave me alone.”

I stood up with JR and kissed his forehead before placing him in his crib, covering him with his blanket. “Uncle loves you,” I whispered. As I pulled away from the crib, the door to Sabre’s room opened.

Grace walked in first. “You’re still walking straight after wearing that?” I said to her, softly whistling. She had on a skin-tight black leather halter dress with lace up heels. “Can you even breathe in that thing?” I played around, trying to lighten the mood. I didn’t need them asking questions, when I had no clue what the answers were.

“Barely, which is why you two are leaving,” she laughed. Walking towards me, she kissed my cheek. “Thank you for watching over them.” She nodded her head towards Sabre as he stood in the doorway. She then scanned JR from head to toe, confirming he was alright.

“It was nothing.” I kissed the top of her head and headed to the door, making a hand motion to get Sabre to move. Wreck stood and followed me. Saying goodnight to them, we walked out their bedroom door. Wreck’s room was opposite mine, but when I approached my door, I didn’t invite him in. Leaning against the inside of my door, I slid to the floor and let my head fall back.

***

Wreck

I stood outside his door, leaning against the frame with my forehead against the grain. He had shut the door behind him, but I hadn’t heard the lock turn in place. Not sure what to do, I just stood there, hoping he could feel my presence on the other side. I wanted him to cave, to let me in, but I understood why he wouldn’t.

Every time I refused to answer his questions, I felt him slipping away a little more. I could see it in his eyes. I pushed him for more but offered nothing in return. Our relationship wasn’t one-sided, but I couldn’t fault him if he saw it that way. He wanted the truth from me, and it had been so long that I wasn’t sure what the correct version was anymore.

I stood up straight and placed my hand against the door. “Come on, Luke,” I whispered. “Open the door and let it be alright.” I heard a soft noise on the other side. “Please don’t make me explain,” I tried again. “I can’t.”

I could have barged into his room, but I wasn’t willing to take that route. We could easily smooth out this argument, but it wouldn’t repair anything. The resentment would fester until the next time one of us brought up the future. I wasn’t willing to give in.

“What’s your story, son?” Titan had asked me when I had shown up at the gates to prospect.

“I want to prospect.” I had done my homework, and I had known that loyalty and respect ran deep in the club, but I had wanted no one to know where I had come from.

“Everyone has a story. I won’t ask again, son.” Titan had been a formidable man. Blonde hair, blue eyes, he had occupied all the air in the office. “The last thing you want to do is fuck with me.”

“I don’t want to fuck with you, but you need fresh blood.” I hadn’t meant for that to slip.

“How do you know that?” His eyes had narrowed on me. Interlocking his fingers together, he had lain them on his desk, cracking the knuckles.

“You need to cut the trees down across the street, at least the ones that are near the road. I’ve been able to watch you. Your average member is between thirty and forty, and if you’re going to keep being a one percent club, you need fresh blood. Here I am.” I had stood up straight, puffing out my chest, trying to make myself appear bigger than I was.

Titan had looked as if he wanted to strangle me over my revelation. “You need to talk, son. Otherwise, you won’t leave here in one piece.” He had stood from his chair, towering over me.

“I’ve been sleeping in the trees across from your gate.” I had hoped that was enough because I wasn’t saying anything else.

Titan had stood there and scrutinized me. I had given him the basics, but he wasn’t stupid. He had known there was more to it. There had been a knock on his office door, effectively breaking the interrogation.

A blonde-haired man had stuck his head in the door’s crevice. He had taken one look at Titan, and his mouth had dropped open, but when he had caught sight of me, he smiled. “Hey, Dad. Sorry to interrupt, but Mom wants to know if you’re almost done. She wants you to run to the store with her.”

“Pretty, this is…” he had said.

“Wreck,” I had supplied. I had wrecked everything and left.

“Wreck, this is my son, Pretty. He has no filter. Don’t be like him.” He had rubbed at his temples. “Go to the bar and sit next to Jig. When he speaks to you, tell him you’re going to prospect, and he’ll get you set up.” He had turned towards Pretty. “You’re lucky you look like your mama, otherwise, you’d be dead three times a day. Tell her I’ll meet her outside in a few.”

I lightly wrapped my knuckles on Pretty’s door, and when it didn’t open, I walked down the hall. Taking the stairs to the main room, I headed straight for the club girls. The third door on the right opened, and Peaches stuck her head out.

“I thought I’d see you tonight,” she said, leaning out into the hallway.

“You know what to do.” It was still early enough to walk away, with no one knowing about it this time. I couldn’t explain it to myself even if I tried. I’d come to Peaches a few times before, only to feel like shit the minute it was over. As I much as I thought I was free to do as I pleased, I wasn’t. I’d given my heart to the pretty blonde man upstairs. I’d just fucked up and never fully committed.

I stopped in the hallway, closed my eyes, and looked to the sky. His room was right above Peaches’, and I tried to tell him telepathically I was sorry for my indiscretions. I didn’t promise this would never happen again. I wouldn’t be able to keep it, so there was no point. Opening my eyes, I squared my shoulders and walked into the room. Peaches was naked, kneeling on the bed with her peach ass in the air.

Pretty wasn’t a small man, but I could comfortably wrap myself around him. In this position, Peaches felt just like Pretty, and as long as I didn’t call out the wrong name, I could pretend. I didn’t care if she knew or even suspected that was why I always chose her. As long as she kept her mouth shut, everything would be fine.

I leaned against the desk and stared at Peaches’ ass. Letting my mind wander, I remembered the last time I’d been with Pretty. He’d told the club that he was going on a bender after our hospital guarding duties, but in reality, he’d left his door open, and I’d spent every night in his bed.

I took a few steps towards Peaches and unbuckled my belt, making sure that the noise reached her ears. Unbuttoning my jeans, I pulled my zipper down and pushed everything to the floor. Once this was over, I could quickly dress and head back to my room.

Giving my dick a few pumps, I put the condom on and entered her pussy in one stroke. “Rise to your knees.”

She knew better than to make a sound as she did as I instructed.

Grabbing her tits, I shoved her down on my dick as I pushed up into her. It wasn’t the same. Not even close.

I didn’t have it in me to take it slow. I wanted to just get this over with. She bounced on my dick as I pumped into her. I was hard, but I wasn’t even close to coming. Shoving my face into her blonde hair, I committed the cardinal sin.

“Goddamn, you drive me crazy.” It wasn’t for her, and she didn’t bother to respond. She was a club girl, and I had never shown an interest in her beyond a casual fuck. Besides, there were too many hurdles, even if I wanted to make her my Old Lady. There’s not that many to claim Pretty. Sabre doesn’t care.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

Finally, I felt my balls pull up, and I emptied into the condom.

It was the worst fuck of my life.

Pulling out of her, I tied the condom and got dressed. Taking it with me, I threw it away in a trashcan that I knew was safe. I wouldn’t give her a way to trap me.

My feet headed back to my room, but I turned towards Pretty’s door, on the off chance that he would know I was in the hallway and open it. What would I even say to him when I smelled of a woman? He wasn’t interested in sharing, and I couldn’t figure out how to get my head straight. I was bi, and the only person I wanted to be with was a man.

“One day,” I whispered and walked into my room, closing the door loudly so that he’d hear it through the walls.