Utah (Knights Corruption MC: Laredo #4)

Chapter 4

4

The moment Knox showed up at my house this morning, intuition told me something bad had happened. And I was right. As soon as he told me about the state he found Utah in, I didn’t hear anything else he said. I still didn’t know the specifics surrounding Utah almost being killed, and even though the obstinate man would skim over most of the details, I’d press him for the whole truth.

If we were going to raise a baby together—something I still hoped he wanted to do—then I needed to be kept in the loop about everything pertaining to his life, especially about any danger surrounding it. But looking at him now, dwarfing the bed beneath him with his massive size, bandaged and banged up, paler than I’d ever seen him, all I could think about was how grateful I was he’d survived.

Slowly approaching his bedside, his eyes following my every move, I stopped several inches away. Only when he patted the mattress did I move closer, each step I took heavier than the last.

The lump in my throat made it difficult to breathe, and my hands trembled uncontrollably. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye when I saw his bruised face and split lip. A white bandage covered the left side of his temple.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” His words softly fell from his lips, but they did little to erase my fear.

“You’re not fine. You almost died.” Another tear trailed down my cheek, followed by another.

“But I didn’t. And once I heal up, I’ll be back to normal. Ornery and stubborn. Just how you like.”

My mouth twitched at the same time his did. “My favorite attributes of yours,” I responded sarcastically, all while tears continued to flow.

His smile disappeared as he extended his hand. I slid my palm into his and carefully situated myself on the bed beside him.

“What happened?” I held my breath in preparation for either silence or glossed-over details.

“I don’t want to scare you, but you deserve to know what’s going on—as much as I can tell you anyway.” His chest expanded on an inhale, and he grimaced. “A cartel has an issue with us for reasons that I’m not gonna get into right now because it doesn’t matter. But the short of it is that a couple of guys took me and Crash at gunpoint from Cloud Nine the other night and intended on killing us as payback for a decision the club made months ago.”

I jerked my hand from his. “What?” was the only syllable I could muster. Every word he’d spoken hit like a hammer, and I struggled to register the severity of what he’d revealed.

Instead of elaborating or telling me not to worry, which would be pointless because all I could think about was what would happen next, he mumbled three words that shocked me even more.

“They killed Crash.” He closed his eyes, the muscles in his jaw flexing in either anger or to assuage his sadness, possibly both. His breathing slowed, and I swore I saw his chin begin to quiver.

I’d briefly met Crash a couple times. He’d always been nice, and he had a certain innocence about him that I found endearing. I couldn’t imagine what kind of impact his death had on the club, but if Utah’s reaction was anything to gauge, his absence was felt deeply by the members.

The man in front of me wasn’t known for expressing his feelings. In fact, that issue alone had been the cause of plenty of our arguments since we started hooking up. So, for him to appear as downtrodden as he was spoke volumes about his fallen brother.

Entwining my fingers with his, I moved closer, careful not to bump him. I glanced at the large white bandage covering his belly, and before I could ask the question, he squeezed my hand, pulling my focus back to his face.

“I got stabbed, but the doctor said I’ll be all right. Just have to take it easy for a bit.”

I’d never known anyone who’d been stabbed, let alone killed. This entire situation confused and upset me, but I tamped down the rampant emotions because all that mattered was making sure Utah recovered—physically as well as emotionally.

“How long do you have to stay here?” I asked, working up a scenario in my head that might benefit us both. He needed someone to look after him, and I needed more attention and support the further I got in my pregnancy. New doubts surfaced every day, and I wanted him to be the one to talk me off the proverbial ledge.

“Not sure. Why?”

“Maybe you want to stay at my house while you recuperate?”

“Why?”

“So you’ll have someone to look after you. ”

“Someone’s always here. Besides, what happens when you’re at work?”

Apparently, I hadn’t thought this all the way through because sometimes I worked long shifts.

“I can adjust my schedule while you’re healing.” I had no idea if that was possible, but I said it regardless.

“Are you sure this is what you want? Because I can stay here.”

“I’m sure.”

“What changed your mind? The last time I saw you, you all but told me to go fuck myself.”

My teeth toyed with my bottom lip as I recalled the encounter. He’d come into the bar and sat in the corner for hours watching me, looking pissed every time Will and I had a conversation. When I approached him to ask why he was there, he said he was making sure I was safe, but he refused to say from what. And because he’d clammed up yet again, my irritated and hormonal mood went into overdrive. So I walked away, refusing to speak to him for the rest of the evening.

Instead of arguing about the past, I focused on what was important. “You were almost killed. I think that warrants a truce, don’t you?”

A deep line formed between his brows as he stared at me. God only knew what thoughts ran through that mind of his.

“I guess.”

“You’ll come home with me, then?” I asked.

“Tomorrow. I should stay here and rest some more before I attempt to move around.”

“Of course.”

He adjusted his large frame on the bed, wincing with the exertion.

“You think Knox is gonna have a problem with this arrangement? ”

I didn’t have time to answer before my brother strolled into the bedroom.

“Is Knox gonna have a problem with what?” he asked.

He moved toward us, his gaze bouncing between me and his friend and back again. I was relieved they were talking again. To be fair, a near-death experience will put things into perspective quickly.

“Your sister asked me to come home with her.”

“Ugh. I don’t need to hear that shit. It’s bad enough I know you did it once, hence the baby.” The corners of Knox’s mouth twitched enough that I believed he wasn’t completely angry.

“Yeah, only once,” Utah said, the roll of his eyes making me smile. My brother groaned in disapproval.

“We’re back on good terms. Don’t fuck that up,” Knox warned.

“There’s nothing going on anymore between us,” I added, an ache swirling around my heart as soon as I uttered the words.

“Uh-huh” was my brother’s only response.

I caught Utah staring at me, but as usual, I couldn’t read him. Never could, which was something that irritated me about the man.

There had been this massive push and pull between us ever since the first time he strolled into Rocky’s and ended up saving me from a customer who got too handsy.

After that night, he’d come in whenever I worked and sat at the bar, keeping watch. We’d talk when I wasn’t busy, and surprisingly, he was quite charming and witty. Two attributes I didn’t believe he showed many people. Case in point, when I told my sister about him, she had a hard time believing Utah had a personality. She’d met him a few times before, like I had, but he hadn’t said much. In fact, I remembered him grunting his responses.

One night after a late shift, he offered to walk me to my car as he had done numerous times before. Only that night, he stalled for more time, stretches of sexually charged silences dancing between us. Just when I thought I’d perhaps misread his interest in me, he leaned in and kissed me. I’d dreamed about that moment happening so often that I was elated when it finally did. But immediately afterward, he apologized and started to walk away. I stopped him, asking what he was sorry for, telling him that I’d wanted him to kiss me for weeks. He explained that I was off-limits because I was his friend’s sister. Although I thought the rule was stupid, I didn’t push the issue because I didn’t want him to stop coming to visit me.

Six days passed before he kissed me again, and it was then I promised him I could keep a secret if he could. Evie knew all about Utah, swearing not to tell anyone because of how our brother would react. Sometimes I think we should’ve just been up-front with Knox all along, and then maybe we could’ve avoided all the drama that ensued after he found out about us.

Lost in memories, I startled when Knox spoke again.

“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” His attention was on Utah.

“I could use a shot.”

“Is that a good idea?” I blurted.

“One shot is not gonna kill him.” Knox headed toward the door, but before he left, he looked back over his shoulder. “And it’s probably best he stays with you because no one here wants to give that bastard a sponge bath.” His laughter trailed behind him as he disappeared.

Thanks to my brother, the image of Utah’s naked body flitted through my brain. Tall, broad-shouldered, long, wavy dark hair, defined muscles, and covered in tattoos—the man was a specimen to be cherished. Heat bloomed between my thighs, thinking about the last time we had sex.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his gruff tone turning me on even more. “Your face is red. ”

I placed my hand on my cheek, a surge of heat warming my palm. Damn hormones.

“I’m fine, just warm.”

Moments passed in awkward silence, me trying to get ahold of myself as he continued to stare at me. There were so many things I wanted to say to him—one topic merged with another—but before I mustered the courage to speak, he parted his lips.

“How did the doctor’s appointment go? Is everything okay with the baby?”

I’d completely forgotten all about the sonogram as soon as I found out why Utah had missed the appointment. Memories of hearing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time overwhelmed me, and I began to cry. Seriously, am I going to be this hormonal the whole pregnancy?

“Is there something wrong?” He attempted to sit up, but I stopped him before he did any damage.

“No, no. I’m sorry. These hormones are driving me crazy.” I took a breath as I composed myself. “Everything is fine. The heartbeat was strong. It was so fast, I thought something was wrong, but I was assured it was normal.”

“I can’t believe I missed it.” The corners of his mouth dipped with disappointment.

“I think you were tied up with other things.”

“Tied up is right,” he grumbled, but I heard every word.

I couldn’t imagine what he’d been through, but instead of allowing my imagination to run wild, I diverted back to talks of the baby.

“Based on the size, I’m nine weeks along. He or she is about the size of a grape right now.” My hand instinctually rested on my still-flat belly.

“If the universe wants to make amends for screwing me over my whole life, that baby will be a boy.” A flash of a grin appeared as quickly as it faded .

“You don’t want a girl?” I hadn’t given much thought to how I’d feel about the sex. I barely wrapped my head around keeping the little one.

“I’ll be unbearable if it’s a girl.”

“I think that’s what all dads say.” I laughed, loving referring to him as a dad. Utah was tough on the outside, impenetrable sometimes even. But his upbringing made him that way, so I understood. There was another side to him, however—a softer, sensitive side. And on the rare occasions he’d shown it to me, I’d fallen even deeper for him.

“No, I really will be awful. No one will be able to come near her. No dating. No boys. Never.” A flush cascaded over his face.

“Okay, calm down. We’re decades away from anything like that happening. Besides, this baby could very well be a boy. Then all your fears will go away.”

“I just know it’s a girl.” He sighed as he closed his eyes. “First things first, I gotta work on healing. No time for what-if scenarios right now.”

“Exactly.”

I ran my thumb back and forth over the top of his hand, the motion comforting me. When Knox first told me what happened to Utah, my thoughts took me down a dark path, but sitting here with him, talking about the baby, being able to touch him, to know he’ll be okay, a peace settled deep inside me.

Several minutes later, I reluctantly released his hand and stood. “I have to get ready for work. Call me if you need me. Otherwise, I’ll come by tomorrow. Then we’ll get you situated at my house.”

“You know you can’t work there much longer, right?”

“I’m not having this conversation again. Not now.”

When I’d stopped by the clubhouse to tell Utah I was pregnant—the night my brother first found out about us and attacked him—he’d told me he didn’t want me to continue working at the bar. We’d gotten into an argument, which was something we seemed to do a lot of because we were both headstrong and stubborn. I told him I didn’t have a choice, that I needed money to live, and he offered to take care of me. I refused, and he didn’t care much for my rejection.

“Fine. I’m sure you’ll be open to discussing it again when you’re further along. I can wait.”

I pursed my lips at his arrogant tone, but then I reminded myself not to focus on anything other than helping him get better. As I reached the door, I smiled. If his attitude was back full force, Utah would be just fine.