Utah (Knights Corruption MC: Laredo #4)

Chapter 18

18

“And then he crashed his bike a third time,” Dax said, chuckling at the memory. “I thought he was gonna kill himself before he learned how to handle the damn bike. But I had to give it to him. He was determined.” Our VP took a swig of his beer, a lopsided grin tipping his lips.

“How about the time one of the wannabes told him he knocked her up and she needed money to take care of it? Then she came back a couple weeks later telling him it didn’t take and she needed more money.” A collective roar of laughter broke out. “When she came back a third time, I had to step in,” Rascal said, patting his big belly. “Damn kid was too na?ve.”

“But he was the first to help any one of us out in a pinch,” I added.

“Sure was,” Rez said. “No hesitation either.”

A brief and comfortable silence fell around us.

“To Crash.” Renner raised his drink in the air, and we all mirrored the gesture.

For the next hour, we recalled stories about our redheaded brother. He’d joined the Knights Corruption seven years ago, which was one year after I did. Prez said he just showed up at the clubhouse one afternoon after seeing several of the guys riding through town and asked how he could join. He was from just outside of Corpus Christi and had been visiting a friend nearby. Prez recalled that he’d had a good feeling about the kid, so he let him prospect for the club, patching him in as a full member a year and a half later.

“Wow, you might wanna slow down a bit.” Knox reached to snag my beer, but I pulled away at the last second. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be drinking so much while taking those pain pills.” He attempted to remove my drink a second time, and again, he failed.

“Don’t worry about me.”

My words weren’t slurred… yet.

The California guys told us to drink up and let loose tonight in honor of Crash, and that they’d remain sober and alert in case anything popped off. So, I indulged, and this fucker was trying to dampen my alcoholic memorial.

“I just don’t want you to overdo it.”

“Maybe you should .”

“What does that mean?”

What did I mean? That he should feel as shitty about today as I did? Was that even possible? Knox hadn’t been with Crash during his final moments, so there was no way he could possibly relate to what I was going through. But did I expect him to anyway?

I never answered his question because I didn’t know how to. We stared at each other until he threw his hands in the air and walked away. He mumbled something, but I didn’t hear him, which was probably for the best.

I was left alone for a whole two minutes before someone straddled the barstool beside me.

“How you doin’?” Ryder asked, angling his body toward me. His dark hair was a tad shorter than the last time I saw him.

“Peachy,” I sarcastically responded .

“That good?” His forced laughter died seconds later. “Listen, I know what you’re dealin’ with.”

“Oh yeah?” My gruffness wasn’t a deterrent like I’d hoped. But something told me this guy couldn’t care less what type of mood I was in. “Did someone die in front of you, someone you couldn’t save?”

“Death isn’t always the worst thing to happen to someone, Utah. But yeah, I’ve seen some shit. I witnessed Marek and Stone both get gunned down.”

I finished off my beer and popped the top to another. “But they didn’t die.”

“No, they didn’t. But that wasn’t for a lack of trying.” Ryder tapped the edge of the bar, seemingly gathering his words. “During the war with the Savage Reapers, way before your time with the club, we lost several brothers. Not to mention what happened with….” His words trailed off, piquing my curiosity, and I was grateful for the slight distraction.

“Not to mention what happened with what?”

“Both my wife and daughter were kidnapped, held hostage. My daughter, Zoe….” His words evaporated for the second time, refusing to finish his previous sentence. “Like I said, death isn’t always the worst thing to happen to someone.”

“Isn’t she Brick’s wife?” I asked, not knowing why I needed clarification. Perhaps I wanted to get off topic, or maybe I needed to know bad shit happened to other people. That I wasn’t alone in dealing with the evils of the world.

“Yeah, she is.” He paused before continuing, “I don’t know your story. But we’ve all been through some things. We’ve all dealt with death, with feeling useless at some point by not being able to protect our own goddamn families. So, deal with whatever you’re feeling, but then move on. Don’t dwell ’cause it won’t change a fuckin’ thing.”

While I still needed some time to process Crash’s murder, he was right. Dwelling on shit was wasted energy because I couldn’t change what happened.

Wanting to steer the topic away from me, I broached the topic of our enemy.

“Do we know where Javier is? He can be planning another attack as we sit here.”

“Marek found out earlier today that he’s back in Mexico with his uncle. Has been for a couple days now.”

“Fuckin’ coward,” I grumbled, steadying myself by gripping on to the ledge of the bar. The blend of alcohol and pills finally hit me. “Maybe his uncle was the one who set all this in motion, and we’ll be walking into a trap.”

“We won’t know that until we get there.”

“How are you not worried?” I asked, Ryder’s image blurring in front of me.

“I’m worried, but there’s nothing I can do to change anything. I’m not even going to Mexico. Those that are staying behind will be on standby in case we’re needed, but I have every faith Prez and Salzar will put an end to the situation.”

“Situation,” I parroted, as if what had happened between us and the cartel was nothing more than a common circumstance.

Ryder rose from his seat and slapped me on the back. “Drink up because this might be the last time we’re all together.”

My mouth dropped open. “Wh… what do you mean?”

“Sorry, I meant for a while. Once everything goes back to normal, we won’t have a need to come back here.”

“Oh.” His explanation barely helped ease the thumping of my heart.

Ten minutes after Ryder left, I stood up and almost fell on my face. Thankfully, Rez was only five feet from me.

“Easy, big guy.” He helped to steady me. “Fuck, Utah. You’re a heavy bastard.”

“All mus… muscle,” I slurred .

“I know, but still.”

“You need any help with him?” Ace asked, rushing toward us. There were two images of him, so I focused on the one on the right.

“Yeah. Let’s get him back to one of the bedrooms so he can sleep it off.”

They talked about me like I wasn’t there. “I’m not goin’ to bed yet. I’m not done.”

“Yeah, you are.” Rez shoved his shoulder underneath my arm, and Ace helped to prop me up on the other side. “You don’t wanna do anything to jeopardize going to Mexico, do you? What if you fall and hurt yourself? You know damn well Prez will pull the plug on you going.”

Since I was seeing double and could barely stand by myself, I didn’t give much of an argument. “Fine. But tell me one thing first.”

“What?”

We started walking down the hallway toward the bedrooms.

“What were you say… saying to Crash’s sister?”

“When?”

I tripped over my feet, but the two of them luckily caught me before I took all of us to the ground.

“At the cemetery.”

“Oh, that. I said we knew she was hurtin’ over her brother, but we were too. He was one of us.” He looked like he wanted to add something else but refrained. Then again, I wasn’t in my right frame of mind, so I could be mistaken.

A shot of pain took my breath away when I moved the wrong way as they helped me onto the bed.

“I need a pill.”

“You don’t need a pill. Just go to sleep,” Rez said as he and Ace headed for the hallway, the click of the door closing echoing behind them.