Utah (Knights Corruption MC: Laredo #4)

Chapter 35

35

“Come here,” Prez said as he stood near the entrance to Chambers. I glanced at my watch, hoping whatever he needed wouldn’t take long.

“What’s up?”

“You good?”

“Yeah.” I wasn’t good, but I didn’t have time to delve into anything deeper right now, not that I would anyway.

He leaned against the doorframe, scrutinizing me. “You look off.”

“Being arrested wasn’t fun.”

“Care to explain what happened?”

“Not really.”

He nodded, never taking his eyes off me. “I called around and found out that guy you attacked is gonna be okay. You’re lucky all you did was break his nose and two of his teeth. It could’ve been a lot worse.” Curiosity forced me to open my mouth to ask the obvious question, but he spoke again before I could breathe the words. “I know people.”

“Obviously. ”

“You’ve been through some shit, Utah. No one is denying that. But the cartel issue is over. And you’re gonna be a dad soon. Get your head out of your ass. No more getting arrested. Understand?” I nodded, but the way he glared at me nudged me to give him a verbal response.

“I get it. No more.”

He smacked me on the shoulder. “Good. Now go see Renner. He needs you to run an errand.”

“Can it wait? I was on my way over to Ria’s.”

“Check with him. He’s waiting on an order.”

Salzar walked toward the kitchen, and I headed out to the garage. Renner was working on a black ’78 Stingray, and had it not been for everything else pressing on my mind, I could’ve appreciated the beauty of the car.

“Prez said you need me to get an order.”

He rolled out from underneath the car, wiping his brow with a tattered rag.

“Yeah, the part I’m waiting on for that truck over there is in,” he said, pointing to a white F-150. “But I’m swamped. Can you run to O’Reilly’s and get it for me?”

“Can it wait a bit? I’m on my way to talk to Ria about what happened yesterday.”

“Sure. Just make sure you get there before noon. They close early today.”

I turned to walk away, and he kicked my leg.

“What?”

“You good?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because we know you, and there’s something off.”

“Just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

Renner narrowed his eyes and studied me. Then he jerked his chin forward, as if releasing me from his presence.

“Fucker,” I mumbled .

“I heard that,” he shouted, and I couldn’t help the grin that crawled onto my face.

The drive to Ria’s house didn’t take long, as there was minimal traffic this morning. But when I arrived in her driveway, I stole an extra minute before getting out. Right now, I felt several things:

Remorse.

Apologetic.

Fear.

What I didn’t feel in the present moment, which was sure to change once a certain topic was broached, was anger. We’d inevitably have to talk about the kiss, and when that time came, I’d have to remain calm. Or as calm as I could. I had to prove to Ria that I could be rational so she could trust I’d never put her in that situation again. I had to prove it to myself.

Several people have commented on me seeming “off.” I dismissed their concerns, blaming Crash’s death, me being stabbed, and the shit show with the cartel. But the truth was, I didn’t feel exactly like myself recently.

Before I could knock, she swung open the door, her eyes roaming over me from head to toe. She was dressed in gray yoga pants and a white tank top, her blonde hair piled on top of her head. She looked exhausted, but I couldn’t blame her. I was too.

No words were exchanged as she stepped aside to allow me to enter. Two mugs sat on top of the coffee table, and the blanket that was usually strewn over the back of the sofa was crumpled in the corner of the couch.

“Why didn’t you call me last night when you got out?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest. The gesture pushed her tits higher, but now was not the time to stare.

“Because I wanted to give you your space.” My answer was partially true .

A heavy cloak of embarrassment fell over me as I stared at her. Disappointment radiated behind her eyes, and the soft tremble of her chin was like a dagger to my fucking soul.

I erased the space between us and reached for her hands, but she stepped away, shaking her head.

“Don’t.”

The dagger twisted deeper.

“I’m so sorry for scaring you like that. I didn’t mean—”

“Why did you attack him like that?” she asked, retreating until her back rested against the wall. She dropped her arms to her sides, her nails biting into her palms over and over.

“Why didn’t you tell me he kissed you?” A flutter of anger coursed through me, but I tamped it down as best I could.

“I wonder,” she answered sarcastically. “Maybe because you would’ve reacted exactly like you did.”

Refusing to confirm her accusation, I narrowed in on the details of what happened.

“When did he kiss you? How long was it? Did you kiss him back?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer to the last question because the thought of Ria wanting to kiss anyone else killed me.

“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

I counted my breaths and retreated across the room, giving us both the space we needed.

“We need to talk about this.” When she remained silent, I forged ahead, trying to convince her. “The worst already happened, Ria. I went nuts. I recognize that. But I need to know what happened between you and him. For my own sanity.”

Still, she remained quiet, and for as much as I wanted to demand that she give me answers, I held my tongue. I began pacing but then thought perhaps my walking back and forth would only increase the tension in the room, so I took a seat at the far end of the couch .

Ria followed and sat at the other end of the sofa. Our eyes held for a beat before she finally spoke.

“Will walked me to my car after my shift was over the other night like he’d done many times before. He asked if you and I were still seeing each other. I told him it was complicated.”

“You told him it was complicated? Jesus, Ria. Why would you…?” I rubbed the side of my face in frustration. “Continue.”

“He told me he liked me and that he thought I liked him too. Before I knew what was happening, he kissed me. I didn’t want him to. I pushed him away. I yelled at him. I think he was embarrassed, but more than that, he was scared I’d tell you what he did.”

“I’m sure he was.”

“I agreed not to say anything because I knew how you would react. And I was right.”

My temper simmered beneath the surface, thinking of that fucker attacking Ria like that.

“Is he why you didn’t put up much of an argument this time about quitting?”

“Partly. It’s also because the bleeding really freaked me out, and being on my feet all the time can’t be the best thing for me right now or as I get bigger.”

I moved closer, taking her hand in mine. This time she didn’t pull away.

“You should’ve told me what he did.”

“I know. And the next time it happens, I won’t hide it from you.”

“Why would it happen again?” I dropped her hand and stood. “Who else is gonna try and kiss you?”

She tugged me back down to the couch. “That’s not what I meant. I meant to say that if something else happens, anything else, I’ll tell you. I won’t hide things from you. But you have to make me the same promise. We need to be honest with each other if this is going to work. ”

“I agree.”

“Good. Now I have another concern. Those pills you’ve been taking.”

“What about them?”

“How many do you have left?”

“Why?” Her stare cut right through me. “None. I have to get a refill.”

“You went through them already?”

“Yeah.”

“Utah… that’s a lot.”

Warmth spread through me as my breathing intensified. “It’s what I need.”

“No one needs that many pills in that short amount of time. That’s not good. Maybe you should go back to see the doctor and—”

Through clenched teeth and a forced grin, I stood for the second time. “What I need to do is get my pills. I got this. Don’t worry about me.”

Ria was on her feet now. “I think those damn pills are the problem.” She raised her voice and grabbed my arm when I turned to leave. “I was being honest when I said I didn’t tell you about the kiss because of the way you’d react. Did I think you would’ve punched him? Yes. Did I think you would’ve ended up doing what you did? No. That wasn’t you. I didn’t know that person. I was scared of that person.”

“I would never hurt you.”

“ You wouldn’t, but that guy you were might.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Anger seeped into my words even though I tried to hold it back. “I don’t have time for this. I have to run an errand for the club. I’ll be back later.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t talk to you when you get defensive like this. ”

“I’m not defen… you know what.” I threw my hands up in surrender. “You’re right. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I walked out of her house without looking back.

Well, that didn’t go as planned.