Vampires of Eden (Alexander #2)

13. Daniel

CHAPTER 13

Daniel

I t’s starting to feel as if I’m wading farther out and deeper into the ocean, but I’m not wearing a life vest. Is it too late to turn back?

“How was your walk?” Leoni asks as we fold the table cloth together. Alexander is over by the van and on his phone.

“Fine, good,” I say. “He asked me what love is.”

“Oh? So, you had some light and trivial conversations, then?”

“He thinks love is like what he has with his cat.”

“People unconditionally love their cats,” Leoni observes. “Some people love their cats more than their children or spouses. I think you would be very lucky if he loved you as much as he loves his cat.”

“ Shut up ,” I hiss, panicking and looking over my shoulder. Thankfully, he’s far enough away that he can’t hear this ridiculous conversation. “I’m just... trying to be nice , since allegedly, I need to work on that. Why the hell are we talking about love?”

“Because it must be in the air, cari?o.”

I shake my head. “It is not!”

Unquestionably, Alexander has softened toward me this past week. But his mind and heart are totally centered on Oliver. I get it, because once upon a time, I stood in his shoes—agonizing and heartbroken over a vampire that rejected me.

Leoni takes the folded material and stacks it atop the already finished one sitting on the table. “You two go back to the cottage together,” she says. “I’m going to visit with my friend in town. I’ll have her drop me off at home later tonight.”

“Y-you’re ditching us again?” I ask, wide eyed. “Leoni?—”

“Danny,” she says, setting her hands on her hips. Squaring her posture. “You like him, yes?”

My heart flips in my chest as I balk. “ No —Not like that, anyway. That would be totally, utterly stupid of me. I mean…” I remember Alexander calling me “Danny” earlier, all breezy and off-the-cuff as if he’s been doing it since forever. “I like a lot of things,” I deflect, agitated. “Rainy days, freshly baked bread… when I’m able to sleep at night for eight hours straight without getting too hot or numb. Which is rare?—”

“Fine. Have you told him anything about my sister?”

At this, my eyes practically bulge out of my head. “ Hell no. Why on earth would I do that?”

Leoni grabs everything from the table and heads toward the van. “Oh, I don’t know, because she’s the reason why you’re in this state—and the reason why you’ve been a snarky asshole toward him and every other purebred you cross paths with.”

Rushing behind her, I lower my voice. “I’m changing my asshole ways, alright? I’m a recovering asshole.”

“All the more reason to open up to him about her. He hasn’t asked why you look like this?”

“ No .”

“Tsk. Puercoespín is so damn polite. You should tell him why.”

“I should not.” This isn’t a topic that I can spring on someone without precedence. Who says he’ll even care? I don’t want him pitying me—or thinking that I’m scheming and trying to manipulate this situation into something for my own gain.

Because I am not .

We step up to the van just as Alexander pulls his phone from his ear. “Sorry about that,” he says, running his fingers through his hair. Those rings on his right-hand glisten under the silver light of the overcast sky. “Raphael needed to talk to me.”

“The manservant-best-friend-brother?” I say, not meaning to sound facetious but it comes out of my mouth that way.

Alexander scoffs, turning his nose up at me like he couldn’t be less bothered—but then he grins with a playful twinkle in his golden-brown eyes. He stalks past without saying anything and I’m left in his sweet and invigorating wake.

Bringing my palms up to my face, I exhale a groan.

I am losing my goddamned mind.

“You like him.” Leoni whispers.

“I do not.”

“Just admit it.”

“No.”

“It’ll feel better if you face this.”

“There’s nothing to face.” I can’t possibly be this dumb. With everything I’ve been through, there’s no way my nature is this twisted and masochistic. Maybe I have indigestion or something.

“I’ll grab that last table,” Alexander says, approaching us once more and carrying two folded tables in his grip. “Is there anything else that we need to do?”

“Nope,” Leoni says, taking one from him and sliding it into the van where she’s created space. “We’re all done. I’m going to stay here in town to visit with a friend. Daniel will drive you back to the cottage.”

“Alright, that’s fine.” Alexander stalks off to grab the last table.

Leoni turns to me. “Try inviting him inside again. But this time, do it the normal way. Not ‘for restitution’s sake.’”

“Ugh.” My palm flies up to my face once more from humiliation. “Why did I let you bully me into this? What a disaster.”

“It isn’t, Danny. You told me that talking to him was nice, so just go with the flow. Why don’t you watch one of those nerdy human shows that you both like on the projector? Have some popcorn and make an afternoon of it. Be friends!”

“I don’t need a friend that’s a purebred prince from one of the major houses of Eden. The last thing he should be doing is sitting on a couch with me and watching outdated albeit classic pop-culture television shows.” There’s probably a whole mausoleum of his ancestors rocking inside their gilded urns right now at the mere thought.

“But those are just words, cari?o. Archaic titles. The reality is that Alexander is sweet—and probably lonely. He’s a good vampire and you two have a lot in common… more than he even realizes. You should tell him.”

“Tell him? Tell who, what?”

I jump when Alexander appears behind me. He blinks, holding the last table and looking back and forth between me and Leoni.

“Are you two talking about me?” he asks.

“No,” I spit with my nose upturned. “News flash, not everything is centered around you.”

Leoni groans in exasperation and walks toward the side door. Alexander shakes his head, grinning.

“You definitely have a switch, too,” he says. “I swear, I never know which Daniel I’m going to get from one moment to the next.”

“Keeps things exciting,” I say, straightening my shoulders to mask my embarrassment. I lift my chin. “Spicy.”

He chuckles, lifting and pushing the table inside of the van. “Spicy is putting it kindly.” The width of his shoulders flexes as he moves and my eyes trail down to his waist and narrow hips. His butt sits high and curves nicely in his jeans, like a well-proportioned bubble atop his long legs.

I bite my bottom lip because my body feels warm all over. Inklings of something I haven’t felt in years.

God. This is terrifying.

This can’t be happening to me .

“You alright, cari?o?” Leoni’s voice snaps me out of whatever strange and spellbinding trance I’d fallen under while staring at Alexander’s ass. She eyes me with a knowing smile, as if she can read my mind. Confused, Alexander turns around, blinking and looking at me, too.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I say, but it comes out defensive. Smooth, Daniel. Real smooth. “Are we ready?”

“I’m all set,” Leoni announces with her canvas bag slung over her shoulder. She tosses me the keys to the van. “You two drive safely.”

“We will,” I say, then look at Alexander. “Get in, loser. We’re going for a ride.”

He huffs, amused as he closes the rear doors, then heads to the passenger side. Soon, I’m in the driver’s seat and we’re pulling onto the main road.

The unwelcome sensations quietly churning within my nature have made me silent. Why… What is happening to me? How do I stop this insanity?

Of course Alexander is attractive. Objectively speaking. The rich luster of his bright eyes framed by his heavy lashes and the handsome, sturdy structure of his body are obvious. But those things have absolutely nothing to do with me and my too pale, too weak body. Why am I thinking about this?

It’s so fucking awkward. I want to do that thing ostriches do, when they stick their heads in the ground. Is that even an authentic ostrich behavior, or did I see it in a cartoon? How would they dig a hole the precise size and shape of their head, and for what purpose? I guess they do have massive talons.

Anyway, it would be more comfortable if all this went away and I could be my normal, closed-off, aloof and bitter self again.

“Thanks… for earlier,” Alexander says, breaking the silence. “For talking to me and giving your opinion.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And for the other day, too. At Kat and Roland’s house. Having these conversations with you has made me realize that I don’t have anyone to talk to about Oliver, so I never express how I feel. It’s probably a pain in the ass for you and I’m sorry about that. But I appreciate it. I think it helps a lot.”

My face warms, but because I’m malnourished, I know there’s no color there to show for it. My nature and emotions never reveal anything outwardly anymore the way that they should. Except for things like sweat when I’m overexerted. Good for me. “It’s not a pain in the ass. You don’t talk to Raphael about him? The manservant-best-friend-brother?”

Alexander huffs in a laugh. “Are you going to call him that every time?”

“Probably. It amuses me.”

“Fine,” he says, smiling. “And no, I can’t talk to Raph about any of this because he hates Ollie. If I mention him in any capacity, we end up fighting and it makes me more exhausted.”

“Hate?” I repeat, genuinely surprised. “Hate is a strong word.”

Alexander shrugs. “He thinks we were poorly matched—even though I’m the one who chose him. So, really, it’s my fault. I don’t blame Oliver for anything. In the end, I wasn’t good enough. Well, I wasn’t…” He trails off and takes a breath. I wait, but he doesn’t go on.

“You saying, ‘I wasn’t good enough’ is incorrect,” I interject. “You weren’t right for each other, Alexander. That’s all.”

“I guess… but maybe I’m shit at relationships.”

“You’re allowed to grow,” I remind him. “And well, your cat doesn’t seem to have any complaints, right? I’m sure she’d give you a five-star rating as far as relationships go.”

He laughs, openly and warmly and it fills the space of the van. It makes my skin tingle and my heart beat louder in my ears.

God, karma, the universe, whoever—cruel. Fucking rude. How dare they send someone like this across my path? A vampire with the same wounds and insecurities—the same heartaches that I’ve been intentionally healing myself of for two years now. It’s like Alexander is a test and I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to take him on. If I’m emotionally mended enough to pass the exam.

The silence is comfortable as I pull into the long driveway to the cottage. Outside, the overcast sky has broken up to reveal patchwork splotches of blue. Here and there, the sun’s rays escape the clamor, pouring out over the landscape and mountains like heavenly spotlights on a stage.

“Today was fun,” Alexander says as I park. “I enjoy these market days.”

“They’re nice,” I admit. “When Leoni first asked me to do them, I didn’t want to. I was worried about how vampires would respond to me because of the way I look. But it’s been fine.” Alexander nods in understanding but doesn’t probe. I think I’ve given him an opening, but it falls flat.

I inhale deeply, then blow it out, deciding to take a chance because I’m an idiot. “Are you busy this evening?”

“I had plans—that’s why Raph called me. An event tonight got cancelled, so I’m off the hook. Why? Do you need help with something?”

“No, but… we can watch a show on the projector, if you’re interested? Maybe Buffy or a couple episodes of Deep Space Nine ? Have some popcorn?”

Swallowing rough, I shift to meet his gaze. He stares at me like he’s a calf at a new gate.

“You… want to hang out with me?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“Um, I think I just made that clear with this invitation?”

“I’m sorry. I guess, I’m surprised? I always feel like you’re trying to avoid being around me.”

“Are you sure that it isn’t you who’s avoiding me ?”

“Well,” he considers, scratching the back of his head. “I was at first. Absolutely. Since it’s obvious that you hate me?—”

“I’ve never said that I hated you. Can we stop casually throwing that word around?”

“Yeah but you’re always snapping,” he says. “And I can read a room—body language, expressions and tone. Ollie was the same way. He didn’t like me either.”

This statement, comparing me to Oliver… it rubs me the wrong way. Like I’ve eaten something sour. I want to spit it out. “I am not Oliver.”

“I know that! I’m just saying?—”

“Jesus Christ man, are you coming inside or not?” I think I’m failing the cosmic test because my patience is wearing thin.

Alexander snickers, breathily. His bright eyes are soft. “Yes, I’ll come inside. Thank you for the invitation.”

We end up watching two episodes of Deep Space Nine , but I had forgotten that the pilot was an hour and a half long. I make a bowl of fresh popcorn. He asks me if there’s butter on it, which, of course there is. He doesn’t say anything else and changes the subject, but I notice he doesn’t touch the popcorn as we watch.

I’ve observed this before at Roland and Kat’s house when we eat together—him not eating certain things, or pushing his food around to give the impression that he has eaten at least some of it when he hasn’t. Or the opposite, him pouncing on particular foods, not restraining himself at all.

In-between the first and second episode, I go to the pantry, then bring back a bag of crisps. Kettle cooked with sea salt. Discreetly, he examines the bag, thanks me, then eats them while we watch the second episode.

“That pilot was action-packed,” Alexander says much later as we walk toward the front door. “Sisko’s back story is rough. That scene with him being forced to leave his wife on the ship… God. That’s going to stay with me for a while.” He slips into his sneakers and bends, tying them.

“It’s tragic,” I say, not ogling at all. “But it gives a powerful, emotional foundation for his character—and for his connection with his son.”

Alexander pulls the front door open and steps outside. “ Agreed. All the characters are interesting so far… Wow.” He glances up and I follow his gaze. The sky is a swishy mix of royal purple and blue. The moon is perfectly full and bright as it hangs amidst a cosmic backdrop of twinkling stars. On the horizon, the mountains are jagged shadows and the vineyard is still and calm. Mother Nature has offered us a truly spectacular evening. Not something to be taken for granted.

“We can sit for a minute, if you’re not in a rush?” Look at me getting bold in my ability to extend invitations. Alexander keeps building my confidence, because without speaking, he slowly sits down on the top step, his eyes fixed on the sky as if he’s in a trance.

I slip on my outdoor shoes, grab my hoodie that’s hanging on a nearby hook and move to sit beside him. We stare out into the stardust evening. A subtle wind blows, rustling the vineyard’s branches and I shiver.

“Are you cold?” he asks quietly, as if he doesn’t want to disturb the serenity of this lovely night.

Wrapping my arms around my knees, I shrug. “I’m alright.” We watch each other and for a moment, it looks as if his mouth is fixed to say something more, but then he thinks better of it and looks back out across the landscape.

You should tell him why.

Leoni’s voice echoes in my mind. I still don’t think that I should. What happened to me… it’s too heavy and dark to deal with. I’m not going there.

However, there is something I’ve noticed that I want to ask him about.

“May I ask a question, about Oliver? It might be probing on my part.”

Alexander’s brows furrow, but not in anger. More like curiosity. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Pausing, I consider how to phrase my question. “Why did you fall in love with Oliver? What about him was alluring to you?”

Now, it’s Alexander’s turn to ruminate. He exhales, dropping his shoulders as he stares out over the vineyard. It doesn’t take him long to respond.

“Well, we grew up together. Of course I thought he was cute. His pretty eyes and sweet, flowery nature. And he was shy. A little introverted and withdrawn. It made me curious about him, always. Like a puzzle I wanted to solve. I chose him because we were the same age and had similar family backgrounds. On paper, we made sense. Once I made the decision, my parents, his parents and other vampires around us told me that he was my partner, so I just… I don’t know. I imagined my whole life and future with him. He was all I knew, really. Everything I knew.”

This answer is exactly what I suspected. When I don’t say anything, Alexander leans into my field of vision.

“Does that answer your question?” he asks.

“It does. However, may I pose another question?”

“Sure.”

I swallow, mentally retracing the exact steps and questions I once asked myself. I want to present them to him now, because I think they’ll help give him perspective. A framework for understanding and healing.

“Do you think that… maybe, you were more in love with the fantasy of you and Oliver in your head, and not the real, actual Oliver?”

Alexander blinks and draws back. A clear sign that this question isn’t processing well. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you loved the narrative that you were given by your parents and peers. You yearned for the ideals you yourself created—a future, summer night’s walk through a romantic grove of trees, for example—rather than Oliver as an actual vampire with his own agency.”

Alexander looks away and his expression isn’t amused or curious. He seems upset. I’ve probably pushed this too far and have accidentally relapsed to my asshole ways.

“I ask because I… I had a situation where I thought that I loved someone, but I was wrong about it,” I of fer, panicking. “About everything. The situation in my head wasn’t reflective of reality—but I didn’t realize until it was too late.” I pause to take a breath because the words tumble out. Now that I’ve started, it’s as if I can’t stop.

“Anyway,” I go on, like a high-speed train with no breaks. “When you talk about Oliver, it reminds me of that. You always mention the things you wanted to do. Activities the two of you could have done if he’d given you the chance. But you never talk about him as a vampire—like something funny he said or a good memory you shared. Typically, it’s wishful thinking.”

Alexander sits in silence. Only the wind moving through the vineyard brush disturbs this odd, suspended moment. I shake my head, feeling remorseful. “Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have?—”

“No, you’re alright, I’m just… I’m thinking, Danny. Give me a second, okay? What you’ve said is a lot to process.”

“Okay,” I scratch the top of my head, nervously shifting my bun because I don’t know what else to do with my hands. He called me ‘Danny’ again. My weakened nature glitters in my belly and I want to punch myself.

“Oliver used to tell me that he was my, ‘obedient little poodle’ kept under glass,” Alexander begins. He stares out into the landscape blankly, as if wholly consumed by his thoughts. “I didn’t see him that way at all, but he eventually told me he hated his life here, because he didn’t have any choices. That everything was planned out and decided for him—his clothes, his schedule, his possessions… me and our engagement.”

Alexander takes a breath. The dejection radiating from his body is palpable. Stifling, like the atmosphere around us is filled with thick gray cotton.

“I don’t talk about good memories with Oliver because we don’t have any,” he says, looking at me with glassy and forlorn eyes. “The truth is, even after all those years, we barely knew each other. Eden’s conservative, aristocratic system stuck us together as kids, but didn’t allow space for us to build anything meaningful. So… I guess I was always hoping that we’d have the chance to do th at later, in the future. To learn each other. To make those memories.”

He pushes himself upright from the steps and I stand as well, feeling overwhelmed by his quiet grief. It’s so familiar that it might as well be my own.

“Thanks for today,” he says, offering a weak smile. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. You always do.”

Every fiber of my being wants to reach out and touch him in some way—as if I need to make physical contact to share in his pain. To commiserate or maybe soothe him. Something . His hand in mine or maybe my palm to his shoulder. An embrace to let him know that I know. I’ve been there and it does get better. With time.

He moves down the next step, away from me. I twist and wring my hands behind my back. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” he says. “Don’t worry. If it’s not too much of a pain in the ass for you, maybe we can watch more episodes of DS9 another day? Or maybe some Buffy ? I’ll bring you a new bag of crisps since I ate them all. That was rude.” He grins and this one is less forced.

“Of course,” I say, relaxing my shoulders and noting the glittery tension there. It streams warmly like a sun-soaked river down my spine. “Anytime.”

Alexander stalks across the gravel and toward his car. Before he gets inside, he waves. I wave back. Eventually, he pulls off. His taillights fade down the driveway and into the darkness.

Standing alone in the quiet night, I close my eyes.

My nature is… alive inside of me. It’s not dead like I’ve always thought. Slowly, it’s unfurling and longing to thrive—to breathe and flow as it naturally should. But it’s too weak.

I open my eyes and lift my chin to the moon.

God, karma, the universe, what is happening?

Please don’t do this to me.

Not again.