Vengeful Secret (The Burkes Mafia #3)

2. Gray

2

GRAY

Why did I agree to this? I’ve avoided this place like the plague for years, because of the bittersweet memories it holds.

But deep down, I know why. There’s nothing like familiarity to make hard times easier, and I’m glad that Declan has suggested Tess’s Tavern as our meeting place rather than somewhere new.

The ambiance is always light and fun here, and it wraps around me like a hug as I walk in the doors.

“Gray.” The bartender smiles at me. “I haven’t seen you in a dog’s ear.”

Her slight Irish accent floats over to me, and I can’t help but smile back despite the shitstorm my life has become.

“It’s good to see you, Nessa.”

“Good to see you, too.” She jerks her head over to the end of the bar. “Your brother’s waiting for you, nursing a beer.”

I nod and walk over to the end of the bar, sliding onto the bar stool next to Declan and ordering a double whiskey, neat, and Declan raises an eyebrow.

I sigh. “Don’t start, Declan. It’s been a rough couple of months.”

“It has.”

“And it’s all on me, now.” I raise a hand to stop him when he opens his mouth to protest. “You help a lot, but at the end of the day, I’m acting boss now. Everyone in the clan is coming to me for answers, and fuck, Declan, I don’t have any!”

“I know.” His voice is calm and even, and that almost makes me more frustrated.

Declan used to be such a hothead, kind of a loose cannon, but ever since he met and married Bree Murphy, he is making an effort.

I wish I could be like that, and maybe I’m a little resentful.

“Everything’s gone to shite,” I mutter, and Declan draws in a breath.

“It’s a lot of responsibility since Da got hurt.” He pauses, taking a sip of his beer. “But the clan trusts you, Gray. You don’t have to worry about having all the answers. No one expects you to. Everything’s up in the air right now.”

“Everyone keeps asking me about retaliation, and on top of that, there are other clans who are trying to find a way to bring us down, thinking us weak because Da is injured.”

“He’s getting better every day. Things are going to get better, Gray.”

Yeah? When?

But I don’t ask it, knowing it will make me sound depressed and bitter—and to be honest, maybe I am both of those things. I never expected to be the head of the Burke clan, not this early. Not like this.

“It’s just a lot,” I mutter, sipping my drink.

Declan nods. “I know it is. I’m here to help, you know. Kael is, too.”

I nod and smile, my chest warming a bit.

Declan and Kael have really stepped up in the last few weeks to help out, and it’s been really nice, actually. I’m glad that Declan’s over Kael dating Paige, our little sister, and that they’re best friends again.

“I appreciate it.”

“Is it weird that we’ve been getting along so well?” Declan asks, and I snort.

“It's a little weird.”

Declan and I butt heads now and again, but there was a time when we were at each other’s throats all the time.

It isn’t like that now. Now, we work together, live together, and happen not to hate each other, even at the worst of times.

“I’m sure we’ll fight about something before the month is out,” Declan drawls, clinking his glass with my own.

Declan sips his beer. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he brings it out, frowning as he speaks into the phone.

“How high? Did you give—” He groans. “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I watch him with raised eyebrows. “Something wrong?”

“The baby has a fever. A high one. Bree’s worried.”

“Poor wee one. You better go and take her to the emergency room.”

“Gray, I’m so sorry I have to cut the night short?—”

I raise a hand. “Please. Go and take care of my niece. I’ll let loose by myself.”

“Call a car, okay? Don’t drive.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Declan stands but pauses, looking down at me before clapping a hand on my shoulder.

“Everything’s going to be all right, Gray.”

“Sure, sure.” I plaster on a smile. “Keep me updated.”

He nods and throws too much cash down on the bar to pay for his single beer before leaving.

I hail Nessa, and she slides over, taking the cash and pocketing it.

“Another.”

She quickly pours another double and slides it across the bar to me, but I just slowly slip this one. The first one hasn’t done much to lift my spirits or lift the heavy feeling around my heart.

Declan’s probably right. Things will end up okay, but right now, it doesn’t feel like it.

I’m not ready to fill my father’s shoes, and I hope I don’t have to for much longer.

He’s on the mend, but it’ll still be a long time before he can take the reins back from me. He’s still bedridden and I don’t want to bother him with a lot of drama, and that’s all that’s been going on in our lives.

We’re trying to keep Murphy from knowing the extent of Da’s injuries, trying to keep an eye out for his spies, and I’m trying to take over without it being obvious that I’m taking over.

It’s exhausting.

What I really need is a distraction.

I look up at Nessa, who is a beautiful girl with her auburn-colored hair and big brown eyes.

“What are you up to after your shift?”

“Don’t you look at me like that, Gray Burke,” she chides, but she’s smiling. “You know I got married last year.”

I groan. “Did you? I don’t remember being invited.”

“That’s because you would have flirted with me and gotten my husband all riled up.”

I shrug, smiling. “Guilty as charged, I guess.”

Well, that’s out.

I scan around the bar, trying to find something to engage with—an old friend I can hit up for conversation, a pretty girl I can buy a drink, anything. It’s not like it has to be a woman—I'll take anything at this point.

Unfortunately, I don’t see any familiar faces, and all the pretty women seem to be paired up or in groups, which usually means they don’t want a ton of male attention.

I’m not one to bother women when they’re out with their girlfriends. I’m just not that kind of guy.

As dominant as my personality may be, I’m not pushy, especially when it comes to the fairer sex.

I haven’t really been in a relationship since... well, for a long time. And I can’t even remember the last time I’ve taken a woman home. I may not be a womanizer, but I’m not a monk either.

I could just leave, just drive home instead of drinking too much and taking a car, but home will remind me of all my responsibilities, put all that pressure back on my shoulders. That’s the last thing I want.

Instead, I keep scanning the bar, and finally, my eyes land on a table in the back, full of women.

They’re all pretty... exceptionally pretty, really, even though they’re all very different-looking.

There’s a blonde, one of those platinum blondes that only comes from a bottle, and then a brunette with long, curly hair. One of them has shorter hair, an angled bob that catches my eye. The color is a deep chestnut, and there’s something familiar about the angle of her cheekbones.

When she throws back her head and laughs at something one of her friends says, my heart skips a beat. Or twelve.

I’d know those blue-gray eyes anywhere. That’s Sutton MacIntyre.

Memory washes over me like a tidal wave.

“Who’s Tess?” she’d asked, clearly flirting with me, and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face.

“She’s the owner’s daughter. She’s only three, but I guess the name just really stuck.”

“Is that true?” She swayed toward me, putting her hands on my chest.

I shrugged. “I have no fucking idea. I just made it up.”

She threw back her head and laughed, her thick, chestnut hair flowing down her back.

The sound of her laughter made my heart hurt for reasons I couldn’t begin to understand, but I knew I wanted her closer.

I pulled her against my chest and pressed my lips against hers, and hers parted with a moan.

Once upon a time, I thought Sutton and I would be together forever. I thought we’d have a big family, just like my mother and father. I’d wanted everything with her.

But the way my life has gone, I guess it’s for the best that we split.

I wouldn’t want her wrapped up in the life I have now. All this danger, all these responsibilities…

“Gray?” Nessa jerks me back to the present, and I look up at her, slack-jawed.

“Yeah?”

“I said, do you want another?”

I look down to see that my glass is almost empty. I shake my head, not even sure why I’m denying more alcohol. It’s not like I feel any better. But I suppose I’ve been hoping for a distraction, and I’ve been granted one.

I just didn’t expect it to be Sutton.

She’s more beautiful than I remember, and my chest aches just looking at her. She hasn’t recognized me, but then again, she’s not paying attention, either, just seems to be having fun with her friends.

I don’t like to approach women in groups, but here I am, considering approaching Sutton while she’s out with her friends.

How will she respond? Will she reject me outright? Slap me across the face? She’d be well within her rights to do either of those things.

I watch as she takes her phone out of her purse, walking away from the group toward the door. Her expression changes, shifting, and I can’t quite pinpoint what emotion she might be feeling.

Part of me wants to go to her, talk to her, and the other part of me—a big part—wants to exit through the back door.

I pull out my wallet, slipping Nessa a hundred-dollar bill just in case I do decide to run.

“You Burkes are so generous,” Nessa coos, but I’m past paying attention to her.

My eyes are stuck on Sutton’s beautiful face, tracing her high cheekbones with my gaze, noticing that little scar she has on her left eyebrow.

I probably should run. I probably shouldn’t open up old wounds, shouldn’t risk speaking to her again.

But something in me wants to know what she’s been doing all these years.

Is she married? Divorced? Does she have children? It’s been five years, any number of things could have happened.

The idea of her having a husband makes my stomach churn, but I push those thoughts away. It’s not my business anymore.

What’s the harm in just approaching her? Seeing what she’s been up to?

It’s just like talking to Nessa, right? It doesn’t have to be more than that.

Of course it’s more than that. It’s Sutton, for God’s sake.

Maybe I should let bygones be bygones, but I’ve never been one to listen to rationality—I act when I want to act, and right now, what I want to do is talk to Sutton.

After all, what’s the worst that can happen?