Vicious Little Darling (Love So Cruel #3)

19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

JAXTON

F uck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

I press the edges of the gash together, wincing as I hold the superglued wound closed. I would’ve called my uncle, but I didn’t want to hear about his ranting—and then Ember called, further fucking my head up. This should’ve been over tonight.

But she outdid me with the shock factor.

I grab a bandage from the counter and tape it over the wound, grimacing in pain as I do so. Everything about this is bad; bad that I didn’t get it done, bad that the police were called, and bad that she called me afterward.

Why did she call me? I stare at my phone, lying on the bathroom sink. It’s covered in blood from my trying to stop the bleeding with my hands, as I scrambled out of her apartment. If the police do their job correctly, they’re going to have a fuck ton of DNA—and what if they want to compare it to samples from people she knows?

I’m pissed, and I’m pissed that I’m more intrigued by her than ever. I’m pissed that I jumped to be at her beck and call the moment she offered it. She’s a fucking siren, that’s what she is.

I want her so bad.

I double over in pain as a cramp runs through my side, and I groan into the night. It’s going to be hard to pretend that I didn’t get shanked with a massive shard of glass, and it’s going to be even harder to keep it hidden around Ember—if she calls me, again. Technically, if I stay in the game, I don’t have to see her for another two days, as that’s when my next shift is.

Maybe she won’t call again.

I grab my phone and trudge from the bathroom to my bedroom, before collapsing onto the bed. I take a deep breath and stare up at the ceiling fan. This is a big fuck-up. I know they’ll match my DNA to other killings around the city, and then my uncle will be left to pull all his connections to cover it. He’ll warn me to stay away from her, or to let his guys take care of it.

But she’s mine.

I roll onto my good side and rest my head against the pillow. When did I get so fucked up? What made me this way?

I drift off into a restless sleep, dreaming of Ember’s cunt wrapped around my cock, the color draining from her face…

And once again I feel the same fucking panic I felt when I realized I might actually kill the one woman who’s ever intrigued me.

***

“Good to see you back after you missed your last session,” Dr. Pitman says, his voice flat and unreadable as usual. “I spoke with your uncle, you know.”

“Mmm,” is all I say, trying not to favor my right side. It’s healing, and thank God Ember didn’t call me again.

Dr. Pitman sighs and leans forward in his chair.

“Listen, Jax—can I call you Jax?”

I shrug. “Sure.”

He nods. “Listen, Jax, it’s time for us to cut the bullshit out of these sessions. I know what you’re doing out there, and I know how you’re spending your time. I know you’re the psycho that slipped into that apartment on the bad side of town and tried to assault and kill that woman. I’m not an idiot. So why don’t we talk about why the fuck you do that?”

I raise my brows. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Doc.”

“Well, news to you, I’m not cheap, and I’m always willing to take on patients of all varieties.”

I pop my jaw as I fold my arms across my chest. “Okay, so what do you want from me, huh?”

“I want you to be open to fixing this… habit of yours,” he mutters. “Otherwise, your uncle is wasting his time and his money. He’s fighting a losing cause, Jax. We both know that. Your mom fucked you up, and I don’t know how, exactly, but you’re never going to get rid of your urges. However, we can find healthier ways to work them out of your system.”

“I don’t have urges. ”

“Right, so what was your reasoning behind assaulting that young woman last night?”

I rub my forehead. “She had sex with me. Willingly.”

“Don’t fucking lie to yourself,” Dr. Pitman laughs, his tone almost condescending.

“No,” I say flatly. “This time it was different.” I shift in my chair uncomfortably. “She wanted me, and I like her.”

“So why try to kill her?” he reasons, suddenly softening. “That doesn’t fit your MO.”

I shake my head, ignoring the emotions that well up in my chest. “She likes the real me, too.”

“Oh boy,” Dr. Pitman sighs. “You’ve gotten yourself into a real mess, I see.”

“I thought that was the best way to fix it and, now, there’s no way she can know the truth about me.” I bite down on the inside of my cheek until I taste copper. “I’m afraid this one has just gotten out of control.”

“I’ll say.” He almost laughs. “You do know you’re going to have to stay away from her, right? The police are all over this one. Ember Thatcher has a family that cares about her, and they’re going to be all over this once it gets out.”

I frown. “They all do.”

“Yeah, but Ember is alive to tell the tale. I suggest your best course of action would be to let her go. Entirely. Or end her.”

“That’s some advice from a therapist,” I mutter.

“I’m being up front and honest with you—unless you somehow think you can tell her the truth and convince her to stay silent.”

I give it some thought, shifting in the chair. I wince at the wound in my side.

“I’ll figure it out.” I push off the chair and get to my feet. “Session over.”

Dr. Pitman nods, as I head for the door.

“What’d your mom do to you, kid? Molest you? Let a boyfriend touch you?”

I glance over at him, meeting his gaze. “She left me to my own devices, and killed my father with an overdose of drugs I know he never took.”

I don’t give Pitman a chance to reply before I swing the door open and exit out into the hallway. As if on cue, my phone begins to vibrate in my pocket. I expect it to be my uncle, but instead, it’s Ember.

Fuck.

“Hello?” I answer lazily, heading down the hall for the elevator.

“Hey,” Ember’s voice sounds meek. “I’m so sorry for scaring you last night. I just had something bad happen, and you were the only person I felt like I could call. Josh would’ve freaked out too badly.”

“Yeah,” I said, my tone flat. As much as I want to bend to her, and be Xander right now, Pitman has me contemplating my next move—and I’m starting to think he’s right to some extent.

“Are you busy?” She sounds wounded.

“Uh, not really.”

“Oh.”

Silence hangs on the line between us, and I try not to let my mind wander too much—to what it could’ve been like had I kept myself from fucking her. My alter ego could’ve disappeared. Xander could’ve stepped in. I could’ve kept her. Alive. Forever.

“I just wanted to apologize,” Ember breaks the silence. “So yeah. Sorry. I’ll let you go. See you at work.”

“Wait,” I blurt out before I can stop myself. “Are you at the bookstore today?”

“No,” she says. “I took the day off. I’m trying to find another place to stay, actually. I, um… with the way everything has gone…”

“You can stay with me,” I offer stupidly, as if I’m in a trance and have forgotten everything that was just discussed. “I won’t tell Josh.”

She falls silent.

“As friends,” I add, thinking maybe that’ll lessen the blow. I don’t know why she’d agree to move in with a guy she barely knows after everything she’s just experienced, but maybe she doesn’t equate me with the guy behind the mask.

“Um… Maybe. Maybe just until I feel comfortable to stay at home again… The police said the sample matched one taken from around the city… from a… serial killer. ” She chokes on the words, and I wince at how bad they make me sound.

“Wow,” I force myself to sound surprised. “I don’t know what happened, but it must be bad. Pack a bag. I’ll come get you.”

“Okay, I’m staying with my neighbor, Rose.”

Fuck, the nosy lady. She’ll recognize me. Shit.

“Oh damn,” I say, keeping my cool. “I’m on the other side of town, which is usually not a big deal, but…” My voice trails off. “I have an appointment. Do you think you could meet me at the coffee shop? If you don’t feel safe, I can come and get you afterward. I just thought you might be on this side of town if it was… Well, you know… I…” I play myself off as struggling to say the words.

It must work.

“I’ll meet you,” she says quickly. “I want out of here ASAP. I can meet you at the coffee shop in like an hour. If you’re not done with your appointment, I’ll just wait for you. I don’t have a lot to take, as you can probably guess.” She gives a stilted, embarrassed laugh, but I try not to read into it or react. I don’t give a shit if she’s poor.

“Okay, cool. I’ll pick you up from there. You might want to let someone know where you’re staying, just in case the police need to speak with you again. I don’t know shit about it, but I’ve watched plenty of those crime shows.” Lies. I know all about it from personal experience, and I also know that the moment the cops know she’s staying with me, they’ll back the fuck off. They’ll assume I’m the big bad boyfriend, there to extract my own revenge—as long as she’s living with me…

After all, I’m the son of a high-ranking cartel legend, and the nephew of the current man who’s running the business. No one is going to fucking touch Ember once she’s here. That’s where Pitman has it all wrong. I haven’t been giving myself enough credit. Because of my blood, I can have what I want.

And I want her.

No matter the fucking cost.

Now, I just need to go clean up my apartment.