Violent Angel (Pretty Broken Things #1)

26. Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Six

T he beat of the heart monitor, the scent of disinfectant, and the fading smell of death. All very familiar, but Elliot hadn’t found them so comforting before. Even with Damon, all the medical stuff was frustrating, not giving him the answers he wanted. Not fixing everything right away.

When he walked into the room for the first time after Parker’s surgery to sit by his bed, those same scents and sights and sounds meant something else.

My best friend is alive.

And he will heal.

Recovery wouldn’t be fast, or easy, but Elliot would be right here to get Parker through it. Damon was right, hunting Saint Claude down would play right into his hands. Whatever the man’s reasons for fixating on Elliot? It didn’t matter.

He doesn’t matter.

Okay, that wasn’t exactly true. Saint Claude would have a lot of power if he won the election, which seemed likely, but there were hundreds, if not thousands of evil fuckers all around the world with even more.

Elliot couldn’t stop living to take them all down. He’d die trying and what the fuck would that prove?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

But Parker was here, he was alive, and he needed Elliot. He’d need all his friends.

Him having so many wasn’t surprising, he was an awesome guy. That Elliot shared those friends, that his inner circle had expanded beyond Lux, was still hard to wrap his head around.

If he hadn’t woken the fuck up and realized they were all right there, ready to fight, and even die for one another—including him?

The mission to get Parker back…would’ve failed.

And the one man who’d intentionally held himself apart, only pretending to be part of the group, would’ve succeeded in causing more damage than he already had. Gael selling Parker out, then moving on to trying to seduce Damon like nothing had happened, proved why it was so important Eros’ Eight behave like an actual team.

There could be no more distance between them, no more acting like they couldn’t talk about personal shit. If they’d done that sooner…

Parker wouldn’t have lost half his arm.

Hart would still be alive.

Fuck…we might’ve saved Archie, too. Someone would’ve known something was wrong…

Regrets wouldn’t bring them back, but it was a new goal for Elliot to focus on. Maybe one he could get Parker to focus on, too. Teaching all the guys to act like a real family.

“You’ll be really good at that.” Elliot took Parker’s one remaining hand, brushing his thumb back and forth over his best friend’s scarred knuckles. “Do that thing you do and make it seem effortless. Like hugging and talking about feelings is cool and why does everyone make such a big deal about it?” His throat tightened. “I know why it took me so long to figure out. I thought, so long as it was me and Lux against the world, I’d never get hurt again. I could always keep him safe.”

Swallowing hard as tears spilled down his cheeks, Elliot lifted his hand to wipe them away.

Then decided to leave them.

“But you were there for me and I was completely fucking clueless. I abandoned you, I abandoned our team, and I isolated Lux. I wasn’t fixing anything, I was running away.” Elliot bowed his head, his tears dripping onto the back of Parker’s hand. “I’m sorry, Park. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m gonna make it up to you, I swear.”

Groaning, Parker turned his head, blinking a few times as though not sure what he was seeing. “Are you crying, Elli?”

“No.”

“Liar.” Parker tried to sit up. “Am I dying? Do I look that bad? Fuck this shit, if this is my last day, I’m not spending it in bed. Unless you want to fuck me. Damon won’t mind if it’s my dying wish, right?”

Laughing, crying, and shaking his head, Elliot gently pressed Parker back against the pillows. “You’re not dying. The doctor said it’s gonna be a long recovery, but in a few months you’ll be as good as new.”

Parker’s brows shot up, and he glanced over at his bandaged stump. Winced as he brought it a couple of inches off the bed. “Yeah…I think we need a second opinion. Did he notice I’m missing a fucking arm?”

“No, but that’s…” Elliot sighed, grabbing Parker’s hand again. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that. You didn’t cut it off.”

“I know, but…Saint Claude was after me.” Elliot wasn’t sure if he should be telling Parker all this yet, but keeping it from him? Would make it so much worse when he found out. “He wanted to hurt someone he knew would hurt me. And…he was told…to use you.”

Blowing out a breath, Parker tugged Elliot’s hand up to his chest. “Well, that fucking sucks, but better me than Lux. He would’ve been the obvious choice.” His expression darkened. “Who told? It had to be one of Eros’ Eight, no one else knows you well enough.”

“Park, we shouldn’t talk about this shit—”

“ Who , Elli?”

“Gael.”

Parker let out a sharp laugh, groaning as he struggled to roll onto his side. “That fucking bitch. He used to come to my room all the time, wanting to use my dick like his own personal dildo. I got tired of it and started locking him out. I guess this was his way of getting back at me.”

Whenever Parker mentioned 'his thing' with Gael in the past, it'd always seemed harmless. Like he was annoyed at how clingy Gael was, despite the clear boundaries he'd set. Much like what'd likely happened during his prison missions, he'd played what'd probably really messed with him off like it was nothing.

The damage Gael caused within their ranks was obviously a lot deeper than anyone could've guessed.

"Us not talking about stuff really bit us in the ass, didn't it?" Elliot closed his eyes, feeling Parker's heart beat a little faster under the hand his best friend still held. "You shouldn't have had to put up with all that, Park. I'm s—"

"You are not apologizing for anything that fucking cockwaffle did. I could've told Virgil, he's always tried to get us to open up to him, but I thought I was handling it. I thought…I thought I could handle Gael . A guy who did time for killing, like, what, ten sugar daddies before his twentieth birthday? What a fucking joke." His bottom lip trembled. “He…he’s taken everything, hasn’t he? I can’t be part of Eros’ Eight like this. Who the fuck is gonna want me now?

“Have you looked at yourself?” Elliot brushed a strand of black hair away from Parker’s forehead. “That’s not going to change anything. You’re still gorgeous.”

“And you’re wearing best friend blinders.” Parker turned his face into the pillow. “And now I’m leaking.”

Elliot frowned. “Umm…do you need a bedpan or something? You slept for a long time after surgery, this is…probably normal. You don’t have to be embarrassed, I’ll get you cleaned up.”

Shoulders shaking, Parker mumbled into the pillow. “I love you, man, but I didn’t piss myself. I was talking about the tears. We don’t cry, remember?”

“Yeah, well, that’s another change that’s been made around here.” Elliot stroked Parker’s shoulder. “Sometimes, we do cry. Like when our best friend comes back to us alive? Or things have been really shitty and we’ve been tortured? It’s totally justified.”

Parker lifted his head, his cheeks damp, and a crooked smile on his lips. “Only under those circumstances?”

“Probably a few more. I’ll have Damon make a list.”

Snickering, Parker finally managed to roll to his side, facing Elliot. “Do these changes include asking for weird favors? Like…would you mind staying? I was…alone in that room, hanging there, for so long. I don’t mind if Damon stays with you. Hell, bring Lux, too. And Winter and Tig…”

“I’ll get them.” Standing in the doorway, Damon smiled at Parker. “It’s really good to see you awake. If you’re ready for company, I don’t think you’ll have to ask anyone to stay. Getting rid of them will be the hard part.”

“I’ll worry about that if I ever want to be alone again.” Parker smiled back at Damon. “It’s good to see you stuck around. You’ve been really good for this one.”

Damon met Elliot’s eyes. “He’s been really good for me, too.”

A few hours later, laying on the floor of Parker’s room in a sleeping bag, with his back to Damon’s chest and his man’s arms around him, Elliot considered one of the biggest changes since Damon had come into his life.

For the past month, Elliot hadn’t pretended he was a hero, which he’d been doing since he was a kid. Not in a cute way, or a noble way, he’d never really believe he was good . But he’d believed, so long as he did good things, he didn’t have to be…human.

His emotions could be shut off like a switch.

He didn’t need anyone.

His heart was made of stone, and he probably didn’t have a soul.

Also, he could kill using almost anything.

Not really hero material, but who gave a fuck? It was all pretend.

With Damon, he’d become real and human, with all the flaws, the pain, and the weaknesses.

But also, all the joy, and the strengths, and the wonder. He’d become capable of feeling something his imaginary version of a hero never would’ve allowed himself to feel.

Turning in the sleeping bag, he brought his lips to Damon’s. Kissed him until his man woke up. And whispered three words. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Damon searched his eyes in the darkness. “Is everything okay?”

“Better than okay. It’s a little messy, but I think I prefer it that way.”

Stroking his hair, Damon claimed another kiss. “Not just messy when it’s bloody?”

“No.” Elliot settled into his man’s arms. “Messy when it’s real.”