War (Boston Bolts Hockey #3)

9. Tyler

NINE

TYLER

“What about this one?” Josie says from her room.

With Scarlett in my arms, I stride down the hall, headed downstairs, since my family should be here soon.

Everything about this holiday is strange. I’m pretty sure I shocked the hell out of my father when I called to tell him that I’m now a father with three kids in my care.

But it’s going to be fine. Everything is fine.

I stop outside Josie’s open door and peek into the pink room, finding her standing in front of Maria. She’s wearing a green dress, but she’s tugging on it, as if she’s uncomfortable. Maria tuts gently and grasps her arms to stop her from fussing with the skirt. It’s made of some type of mesh material and juts out and away from her body, kind of like a tutu.

Honestly, it looks like it belongs on a younger girl. Like Scarlett. I look down at the two-year-old and realize she’s wearing the same green dress. Where they got these matching outfits, I haven’t a clue. All I know is the girl who’s always smiling does not look the least bit happy.

With a quick knock, I push the door open farther. “Hey, fighter, you almost ready?”

Josie swallows down her frown, takes a deep breath, and offers me a smile. “Yeah. I was just finishing up. Do you think your parents will like the dress?”

Her words stop me in my tracks, and suddenly, I feel like I’m six again. Or seven, eight, nine. Somewhere around there, and even years after. Pick an age, and I have a story about a time I tried to change myself in hopes that I’d be what Dory or my father wanted.

It never worked, by the way. Dory wouldn’t have liked me even if I’d been a carbon copy of her own precious son. My dad? I can see now that I wasn’t ever a disappointment to him. He just wasn’t emotionally available, nor was he always physically there. But I craved that connection. Especially after my mother passed.

Changing myself, searching for the secret that would lead them to care about me, took up far more mental capacity than I’d like to admit.

Thank fuck I’ve had enough therapy to handle this moment right here. Failing Josie isn’t an option, and I won’t allow her to fall into the same insecurities I spent years working through.

As I settle Scarlett on the floor, she happily plucks at the tutu on her own dress, oblivious to the heaviness that’s settled in the room.

“First off,” I say to Josie, “you look absolutely beautiful.”

Her tentative smile blooms into the full one that hits me straight in the heart.

“Second, you don’t have to dress a certain way—or act a certain way—in hopes that people will like you. Be yourself. You’re awesome.”

She glances away from me shyly, but I tug on her hand to force her to hear me.

“Most importantly, Jos, if anyone makes you feel less than awesome, remember this: I’ll do just about anything to remind you of what an incredible human you are. Now you tell me, do you want to wear this dress, or would you be more comfortable in something else?”

Worrying her lip, she surveys her sister. Then she turns back to me and shrugs. “I kind of like that we match. Ya know, since it’s our first Christmas together.”

I tug her into my chest and hug her. “It’s our first Christmas together too. All four of us. You, me, Scarlett, and Bray. The first of many, right? ”

She loops her arms around my neck and squeezes, her body relaxing against mine. My chest is so tight it’s hard to breathe. Knowing that I can be that soft place for her to land is overwhelming, but I’ll continue to work every day to make her feel safe. I’ve been doing it for a year now, showing up and visiting even when it felt awkward. Spending afternoons with her, working to find common ground, a way to relate, when our connection consisted of nothing more than her needing someone and me wanting to be that person.

In truth, being needed like this is a gift I never considered before meeting her, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need her even more than she needs me.

Against my chest, she sighs. “Do you think your parents will like me?”

Over her head, I meet Maria’s eyes. She’s been watching our interaction silently. She does that often. She gives us our space to find each other, to work things out, but she stays close, in case we need her. “I’ve told you this before, and it’s the truth, so believe it. It’s impossible for people not to love you, fighter. You’re the coolest kid around.” I lean back so I can look her in the eye. “Want to help me set the table? I asked Bray to do it, but we both know he probably got distracted and is watching hockey downstairs.”

With a nod, she giggles.

We’re halfway down the stairs when the doorbell rings. Surprisingly, Brayden is finishing up with the table. Though SportsCenter is blasting over the Christmas music I put on to get us into a festive mood.

I went all-out this year. A huge Christmas tree. Elves and reindeer on every shelf. Even a freaky Santa toy that dances and sings. It’s as tall as Scarlett, yet she isn’t bothered by its animatronic creepiness like the rest of us. No, every time he shakes, she breaks into belly laughs, which leaves the rest of us laughing because Scarlett has the most obnoxiously loud cackle.

There’s even tinsel, and not just on the tree. Somehow, it’s clinging to couch cushions and even the wall. It looks like Clark Griswold threw up in here.

Grinning—because it’s impossible not to be happy when surrounded by all this holiday cheer—I stride for the front door. Josie peels off and heads toward Brayden to help him finish.

With Scarlett on my hip, I swing the door open. Immediately, my smile dies. “Oh,” I huff out as I survey Xander. “I thought you were my father.”

“Merry Christmas to you too.” His tone is sarcastic and his expression is pinched as he steps inside. At the sound of gravel crunching behind him, the look smooths out. The only other people attending tonight are our parents. Looks like they’ve arrived just in time to be our buffer. “What’s this one’s name?” he asks in an obnoxious tone, wearing a fake-ass smile as he takes in the little girl in my arms.

“It’s Scarlett.”

The words have barely left me when Ava steps out from behind Xander.

I swear the air is ripped from my lungs at the sight of her. Her dress is green, a color I’ve never seen on her. Hell, I’ve never seen her wear anything but white or cream or, yeah, white. The hue matches her eyes almost perfectly, making it impossible to look away.

“Hello, Scarlett.” Xander steps in too close and pinches my daughter’s cheek.

She scrunches her face, then buries it in the crook of my neck.

“I’m your Uncle Xander, and this is your Auntie Ava.”

I step back and pivot to put extra distance between him and Scarlett. “You’re not married. She’s not family.”

Scowling, he looks at Ava as if he’s looking for backup. “She’s two. I don’t think she understands the difference.”

“Maybe so, but Josie does,” I hiss. “If she hears, she’ll latch on to the idea of Ava being family, and if you two don’t work out, she’ll be crushed, and that girl doesn’t need any more disappointments in her life.”

Ava tilts her head as she studies me with a frown. It’s a look of concentration rather than hate, which is what I usually get from her. A loud screech sounds from behind me, startling her, and her eyes go wide.

“ Ava ,” Josie sings as she runs past me and barrels into the woman who’s still standing on the front steps .

Without hesitating, Ava picks her up, and the two of them hug long and hard.

Eventually, Josie pulls back, her eyes full of wonder. “What are you doing here?”

The smile that spreads across Ava’s face isn’t one I’m familiar with. It’s soft and pure and genuine. “It’s Christmas. Where else would I be than with my girl?”

For the first time since the day we met, I feel myself relax around Ava. She gets it. All that matters is Josie, and if she’s what Josie needs, then somehow, some way, I’ll make this work.