War (Boston Bolts Hockey #3)

17. Ava

SEVENTEEN

AVA

The car ride home is anything but quiet. Josie babbles on about every topic that pops into her head. Scarlett sings nonsensically to what sounds like the tune of a song from Zombies . Brayden sits in the back seat behind Tyler, smirking every time he catches him so much as shifting in my direction.

But my thoughts are louder than it all. The what-ifs, the could-it-possibly-bes, and the maybes swirl inside my head. It takes a great deal of effort to shut it all down and remind myself that I have a job to do. I’m here to be the emotional support for these kids. A parental figure to care for them while Tyler travels.

I’m basically the help.

Regardless of what Tyler and I felt for that blip in time two years ago, back before we actually knew one another, we aren’t living that happily ever after now. Those feelings don’t factor into this scenario.

I may recognize that he’s not who I thought he was, but that doesn’t change what we need to do now. We’ll be friends. We’ll be partners that raise his kids because that’s what’s best for everyone.

All the self-preservation I’ve been working on goes out the window when Tyler pulls into the driveway and squeezes my hand once. “Can we talk after the kids get settled?”

I nod, certain my voice wouldn’t work if I tried to speak. Behind me, Josie throws her door open, calling for me, and with a sigh, Tyler releases my hand. Then he straightens, switching into dad mode in front of me, and climbs out, heading for Scarlett.

“Did you know I start ballet this week?” Josie tells me as we follow the boys and Scarlett to the door.

“You may have mentioned it a few times,” I tease, smiling down at her. She hasn’t stopped talking about ballet since Tyler confirmed that he signed her up for classes on Christmas.

“Will you take me?” I can sense the nervousness in her voice. Like she’s still not 100 percent sure I’m staying. I wish she knew just how much everyone loves her. All the things we’re doing just so we can keep her. I never want her to worry that I’ll disappear.

“Of course. I’ll go over the schedule with Tyler tonight and make sure I know where you need to be and when.”

“Do I hear two of my favorite girls?”

Josie darts into the house at the sound of the voice, and when I step into the kitchen, catching a whiff of fresh-baked cookies, I find her wrapped up in Maria’s arms. Before I can shuck my coat, she’s got a cookie in her mouth and she’s telling Maria all about brunch and how Hannah has a potty mouth.

I choke on a laugh. “She did get better by the end.”

Josie peers up at the ceiling like she’s considering my words, then gives a nod. “True. It’s all about progress.”

Maria holds back a snort as she shuffles over to me. “Merry Christmas.”

I sink into her embrace, happy that she’s finally home. I’ve been nervous about how she’ll react to all of this, but so far, she doesn’t seem surprised.

“Did you have a good time with your family?”

She pulls back, one brow arched high. “From what I’ve been told, I doubt I had as good a time as you had here.”

Across the kitchen, Josie watches on, still chomping on a cookie, without an inkling of remorse on her face. “What? I tell Maria everything.”

I fold my arms across my chest. “And what exactly did you tell her? ”

Josie shrugs, her expression serious. “The truth.”

I can’t hold back my laugh. “Well, then, guess there’s nothing left for me to tell.”

Maria rolls her eyes. “Yeah, wishful thinking there, missy. Tyler took Scarlett up for a nap, so that gives the two of us plenty of time to have a cup of tea and catch up.”

“What am I going to do?” Josie asks, her hands on her hips and her bottom lip stuck out.

Already settled on the couch, Brayden calls, “You can pick a movie to watch with me.”

Josie brightens comically. “Oh, let’s watch Zom ?—”

“Anything but Zombies ,” he shouts.

Always expressive, she’s back to pouting, now with her arms crossed over her chest. “You said I can pick.”

Brayden drops his head back against the sofa. “Isn’t there anything else you want to watch?”

“ Zombies 2 ?” She scurries into the living room, her voice hopeful.

He palms his face and groans. “Okay.” Then, with a glare in our direction, he adds, “Don’t go far.”

“You’re the best, Bray.” Maria links her arm with mine and drags me toward the kitchen island. “I’ll make the tea while you spill it. How’s that?”

“Ha ha,” I deadpan. But as she asks, I dive into the story. There’s no way she’ll believe a lovesick-puppy tale like the girls do. Honestly, I’m not sure why I even allowed myself to get swept away like that. I was the one who proposed this insanity to Tyler, not the other way around. If he had been interested all this time, wouldn’t he have come to me with the idea?

“Truly, it’s for the kids,” I tell her, hands clasped around my warm mug. “I love them. He loves them. He needs help, and I’m happy to give it.”

“But marriage?” Maria gives me a concerned frown as she brings her tea to her lips. “Why not just say you’ll be the live-in nanny?”

I shrug. “They need something more permanent. And I’ve always loved Josie. I can’t imagine anyone else filling this role. ”

Her expression shifts into a small smile. “Me neither. And I’ve never seen Tyler look at a woman the way he looks at you.”

I snort, even as my cheeks heat. “Like he wants to murder me?”

She shakes her head. “The man just agreed to spend the next two decades living with you. And he didn’t offer to move the girls into one room so you’d have your own space, did he?”

Gaping like a fish, I blink at her. “I—” I snap my mouth shut. I don’t have a clue how to respond to that. Because honestly, moving the girls in together would make sense. Scarlett sleeps through the night, so she wouldn’t disturb Josie, and either of their rooms is big enough to share.

But he never considered the idea.

Would it be weird for me to mention it to him?

Do I want to?

Strangely, the thought of having my own room here doesn’t bring me comfort. Maybe because it would make our status as co-parents only official. Partners in this strange endeavor, raising kids together and nothing more.

I don’t exactly love that.

But there’s no way we could be more. Right?

Maria smirks. “That’s what I thought.”

We spend the rest of the afternoon talking about the kids’ schedules. Maria gives me a rundown on what their lives look like from day to day, and eventually, Tyler joins us, and we settle in with the kids and watch a movie. When he chooses the seat next to mine on the smaller couch, rather than near Brayden on the larger one, Maria cocks a brow at me.

While I settle in, I allow myself to imagine that she’s right. And I give myself permission to picture what a real marriage might look like.

And you know what? The image isn’t half bad.