Wasted Time (The Steel City #1)

25. Declan

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

declan

The second Seth’s name flashes across my screen, I jump up and grab my phone. I’m fueled by pure anxiety and anger right now, and that’s never a good combination. Not even an ice bath helped.

I need to answer this call, even if talking to people is the last thing that I want to do right now.

After that bullshit game, I got reamed out by Coach for an hour straight. Literally an hour. I watched the clock behind his head in the empty locker room. I considered mouthing off to him for a second, fury still coursing through my veins, but at some point, it dawned on me that he was right.

I am in the pros, and I need to act like it. I worked my ass off to get here. I need to play like I want to stay.

But fuck, all I could think about was Pen. Seeing her name on my phone stopped me dead in my tracks. I have a routine. I do not talk to anyone from noon onward. I lap the stands before the rink opens to the public. I listen to my podcasts and shut out the world.

I definitely do not answer phone calls. For anyone. Ever .

But this was different. I saw her name and lost all sense of reason. My brain short-circuited and I stared at my phone like it was a bomb.

It wasn’t because I was relieved to see her name.

Penny doesn’t give things up easily. Whatever pissed her off after we slept together, there is no way that she just suddenly got over it and wanted to have a nice, little chat. I can count on one hand how many times we’ve talked on the phone through the duration of our friendship.

Penny doesn’t just call me.

It took another second of staring at her name before my heart sunk to my fucking toes. If Penny was calling, it was urgent, and it was at that moment that I remembered something Seth had mentioned.

They were going to London to move her out of her house today.

Any frustration I had with her vanished and I answered the call. The pre-game ritual went out the window and I didn’t care. For a moment, when she didn’t speak, I figured it was an accident. But I know I heard her crying. It sent chills all the way down my back and straight to my calves.

She hung up far too quickly. She ignored my texts. It scared the shit out of me. The worst-case scenarios entered my head at rapid speed. Every instinct in my body was screaming that something was wrong.

But then she texted that one, stupid word. A single word that sounded nothing like her: Accident!

And just like that, my head was scrambled.

I spent so much time trying to get a hold of her that I didn’t think to try and get a hold of anyone else. By the time I was gearing up, I still had no idea if she was the one who sent that message. Had she accidentally called me, or was there some accident and she needed help?

She was fucking crying. I’m sure of it.

“Dec.”

I ignore him. “What happened with Penny?”

Seth is quiet for a second. I hear him shuffling around. “What?”

“You moved her out tonight, didn’t you?”

There’s a pause.

“Uh, yeah man, but I didn’t call about that. I called to check in. That game was atrocious.”

I pace around my room, running a hand over my face. This is what we do for each other, me and the guys from college. We keep each other on our best game and hype each other up when we get there. Tonight was definitely not my best game, so it’s not like this conversation is unwarranted. I just don’t particularly want to talk about hockey right now.

“Yeah,” I bite out. “I know. Are you still in London?”

I’m in Montreal. How long of a drive is that?

Another long pause. I can practically see him lying on his bed with his legs outstretched, crossed at the ankles while wearing the frown of the century, wondering if I got concussed when Stevens checked me into the boards.

“Yeah. We’re at the hotel. Wyatt’s in the shower. I figured I’d call and check in before he gets out and starts roasting you.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m aware. I’m also sure Wyatt won’t give a shit.”

“So, it’s just you and Wyatt?” I ask. There is no other sound on the other end of the line. No girls chattering in the background, no murmur from the television. It’s like he went into a soundproof room just to make me sweat.

“The twins are in the next room over. What is going on?”

A long breath of relief leaves me. I stop pacing, dropping my head forward. My heart rights itself a bit.

She’s fine.

She’s safe.

This isn’t a situation like with Wyatt’s sister.

I’m relieved because my friend is okay. That’s all it is. That’s all it has to be.

“Is Wyatt out of the shower yet?”

“No.”

“Alright. This stays between us.”

“Dec…” he warns, his voice quiet.

“Between us, Seth. For Pen’s sake. You know how she is about her personal shit.”

Like I’ve respected that in the past.

Seth stays quiet.

“I only have five minutes before Forker’s back with the food. So, between us or not?”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.”

“She called me tonight,” I say, rubbing my hand over my jaw. Seth remains irritatingly silent, so I keep talking. “She didn’t say anything, but I could hear her on the other end of the line, and she was a fucking mess.”

Seth lets out a long breath. “Shit.”

“She was okay when you were with her?”

“She had one moment when we were clearing out her things, but she was remarkably composed. I had no idea. She didn’t let on.”

Something in my chest aches. Why me? Why call me? I tried to make it clear that it was never going to be a simple one-night stand with us, and that I wasn’t going anywhere—but she chose to make it abundantly clear that she wants nothing to do with me instead.

It didn’t have to be anything more. I never said that. But I never intended for it to burn our friendship to the ground. I want to be there for her. I want her to send me pictures of the dogs that she sees throughout her day like she used to. I want… fu ck, I just wanted everything to stay the same. At the very least.

She wanted otherwise.

So, why call me ? Avery and Wyatt were within reaching distance.

It didn’t matter that it was a game night, or that I’m not on home ice. I was picturing Penny and Gavin locked in a room together, with him spitting all those nasty things he tends to say to her right in her face.

Because it’s Gollum. Gollum fucking sucks.

“I thought something happened, man. I had no time to call any of you. She just hung up. I sent EJ a quick text since he’s always glued to his phone and told him to call the arena if there was an emergency. He didn’t answer. I thought… I don’t know what I thought.”

“EJ got called out of town for work. He won’t have reception in the mines. She’s fine, man. She’s hopped up on pizza and wine, so it’s a best-case scenario over here. You losing really bummed her out, though.”

I pause. “She moved her shit out tonight and you guys still watched my game?”

She watched my game?

Seth lets out a quiet laugh. “We always watch your games.”

Warmth floods through me, taking over the iciness that has sat there since that call. I want to relax, but I can’t. My mind is fucked. She’s fucked it. I can’t figure out how to make it right again.

“Is that Lowesy? Tell him I’ll take his spot if he wants to piss away his career so soon.” Wyatt’s voice slides through the receiver.

“Wyatt says hi.”

“Tell him to suck my dick,” I mutter, and even though my hotel room door has not opened, I pretend that it has. “Fork’s back with dinner. I should get going. Time to de-stress and all that shit.”

“You good?” Seth asks after a small pause.

My performance was out of character tonight. Nobody knows that better than myself and the guys I played with in college. I’m never off my game, not even when my personal life is up in flames. It’s my fucking superpower.

It’s Wyatt’s job to push me to be better. Always has been. I just don’t want to hear it tonight.

I can’t admit out loud that it was the idea of Penny being in trouble. I can’t allow myself to acknowledge that, apparently, she’s my kryptonite.

“I’m good.”

“Dec?” Seth asks, hesitancy in his voice.

“Yeah?”

“You broke your pre-game ritual for that call.”

My eyes flutter shut as I lower myself down onto the edge of my bed, ignoring the strange mixture of anger and nausea that sweeps through my stomach.

“Yeah, I know.”

There’s another pause. A Seth pause. I swear he does it for dramatic effect, so you can think about what he’s implying and stew in it like he wants you to. Seth thinks there’s a message here, but he’s not going to tell me what that is, he’ll want me to figure it out on my own like I’m my own fucking oracle.

“Well, as long as you know. Call me tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I want to go over some plays that might help you!” Wyatt shouts in the background.

“Bye, you goons.”

I hang up and suck in a big, full breath.

Whatever Seth was getting at was him trying to put pieces together and nothing else. There is no way in hell Penny owned up to us sleeping together. Not only because she wouldn’t want to make anything weird between our friends, but because she wouldn’t want people to know she was moaning my name in my ear just hours after she and Gavin broke up. It’s just who she is. All prideful and shit.

The memory of her underneath me flashes through my mind—dishevelled, exhausted, and incredible.

Fuck.

I’m hard as a fucking rock now, sitting in my empty hotel room, moments before my other best friend comes back with food. I try not to think about it, because once I do, I can’t think of much else. When I do… I tend to trail off and think of more.

Like her smile blinding me in the dark.

Like the way her eyes softened when I called her beautiful.

I can still feel her. I can still hear her when I try to sleep, when I try to think.

I run my hands over my face and let out a frustrated groan.

She’s an irritating woman, that’s what she is. She always has been. It’s a miracle that we’ve stayed friends for so long. She’s stubborn to a fucking fault, and honestly, it’s ridiculous. Who would put up with her when she makes you navigate the landmines that she tosses around herself?

I think about how she used to dress up for that sack of shit and he wouldn’t even compliment her. I think about how he could take one look at that woman and say he wasn’t proud to be with her.

Anger boils my blood.

I would.

I would step on every fucking landmine if that meant I got to keep her around.