Wasted Time (The Steel City #1)

49. Declan

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

declan

There are enough chairs in here for all of us to keep Wyatt company, so that’s exactly what we do. He’s tired. That much is obvious. He keeps dozing off, letting out these long, exhausted breaths. I don’t think any of us are going to want to be too far from him for the next little while, sleeping or not.

EJ turns the TV on, and Wyatt tries to rest, but he doesn’t seem to want to endure the silence. He talks with us every now and again, forcing conversations about things that don’t seem to matter much anymore.

There’s an enormous elephant in the room. All of us can feel it. It’s sitting on top of us, suffocating each of us individually. We’re scared. We want to make sure he’s okay. None of us want to talk about work or the weather, but we don’t necessarily want to talk about the elephant either.

Why , Wyatt?

At some point, Wyatt shuffles over in bed and pats the empty spot beside him. He motions for Penny to crawl in next to him, and she does so without question, kicking off her shoes and climbing right into his arms like she’s supposed to be there.

It works. The way he instantly relaxes proves that having her there is exactly what he needs. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Presses his lips to her head the way he always does.

I stare at the TV, swallowing heavily. If she’s who he needs right now, that’s okay. She’s the best person for the job.

“I’m sorry that you took that call.”

Tiffany and Lauren’s quiet conversation tapers off with those words.

I dig my nails into my palm. Fuck, this hurts.

“Don’t you dare apologize for that,” she snaps.

“I mean it,” he says. “I can’t believe I put you through that.”

We’re all trying not to listen. I’m staring at the episode of Deal or No Deal like it’s the most interesting thing on the planet, trying not to react to what feels like a private moment.

“I’d do it again for you,” she tells him quietly. “Always. But please, don’t make me.”

There’s a long pause, and nobody speaks for a moment.

Minutes pass, and still, the silence stretches on. I focus back on the woman who just lost seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

“Penny,” Wyatt mutters after some time. His voice catches. “I?—”

By the tone of his voice, he’s about to tell her something big—maybe that he loves her, maybe that he’s tried this before but wound up waking up instead. Whatever it is, he’s about to drop something that’s going to change everything, and I don’t know if I can survive another moment where the world shifts.

I tense, feeling EJ go utterly still beside me in his chair.

Wyatt sucks in a big breath.

“Fuck. I... I’m gay.” It’s barely a whisper, but it seeps into my ears and etches itself right on my heart. He lets out a big breath, nodding to himself. “Yeah. Fuck. Wow, I said it.”

Time stops.

That’s not what I was expecting him to say. It hadn’t been a possibility in the list of reasons he’d done this in my head.

My gaze snaps to him, my body rigid and heart shattering in my chest. There is nothing wrong about what he just said. Absolutely nothing. The only bad thing about it is that he didn’t want to live anymore because of it.

The instinct to shove myself beside him on that bed is way more overpowering than I expected.

But Penny… oh, Lucky . She’s got it handled. She holds his face in the palm of her hand so gently. Her thumb brushes his cheek, a proud smile growing on her lips as tears pour down Wyatt’s face.

He could have just told her the weather. That’s how little she reacted to that statement. Those beautiful eyes are flooded with tears, and they drip through her lashes with each blink, but she does not waver. She is immovable in this storm, an anchor for him. Always has been.

“Okay,” she whispers, pressing her forehead against his. “Okay.”

I swallow. Wyatt being gay changes nothing, but it clearly felt like the end of the world for him to admit to us. That’s what I don’t like.

My immediate reaction is shock. I hadn’t expected it. In the long run, it doesn’t matter. It’s not my business. If he didn’t want to tell me, he didn’t have to. I just wish one of my best friends felt comfortable enough to be his authentic self with me. It scares me that he didn’t feel safe enough to be Wyatt.

What am I doing wrong? What are we doing wrong?

So many questions swirl around my mind, but not Penny. It was just a fact that Wyatt admitted, and she accepted it. No reaction in the slightest. No need to dwell on it at all.

We should all be like Penelope Anne Sweeten. Every last one of us.

Wyatt is shaking between her palms. He nods to himself, eyes screwed shut.

He knows we’re all here. He knows that he just told all of us that truth. It was simply easier for him to say it to her directly. The alternative was too hard.

EJ wipes his tears with the back of his sleeve. Clearing his throat, he reaches forward and places his hand on the blanket covering Wyatt’s leg. Doesn’t say a word, he just sits there. He makes it known that he is there.

“That changes nothing, Wyatt,” I say quietly from the foot of the bed, tugging my hat down lower on my head. “Nothing at all.”

Wyatt nods again. Still won’t open his eyes unless it’s to look at her.

Penny wipes his cheeks gently with the pads of her fingers.

“We love you,” Seth adds, his voice breaking. “So much, brother.”

“I’m so sorry,” Wyatt whispers again.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” Avery says. She made her way over to her twin at some point. She has her hand on Penny’s shoulder, supporting her while she exudes all the strength she has left to keep Wyatt upright. “We’re here for you, okay?”

“I don’t think I can tell my dad,” he cries.

“You don’t have to,” Tiffany says quickly and that’s Lauren’s breaking point. She gets up quietly and leaves the room. “One step at a time, Wy. One day at a time.”

“They’re going to admit me.”

“They’ll help you get better,” Penny says softly .

She’s trying to stay strong for him, but her shoulders are slumping with each passing second. The weight of this is too much. She’s going to break eventually. I’m not sure when, but she can’t carry this alone.

I don’t care who is surrounding us or what they’ll think. I move to take the seat that Avery abandoned, right beside the bed. I lower myself into the vacant chair and as Wyatt’s choked cries flood through the room, I reach forward and place my hand on Penny’s thigh.

I’m here. Even if you don’t want me to be. You have me and Avery ready to catch you when that weight gets to be too much.

Avery’s eyes track the movement. I ignore her, but I see the small smile that tugs at her lips from the corner of my eye. I see the relief in her tears.

She thinks the world is righting itself.

It isn’t.

I’m not sure how anyone could think that when Wyatt is in a hospital bed, falling apart, and we’re trying our hardest to keep ourselves together for him.

I want Penny to be okay. That isn’t a question—never has been. That doesn’t mean that the rest of it goes away. I need Wyatt to be standing at the end of this, but that doesn’t mean that we let Penny take this burden on her own.

I need her standing, too.