Waves of Fury (Surviving Earth Chronicles)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Kellen

I t’s been a blissful few days in St. George and I’m hesitant to leave our safe little bubble. I’m not even sure if it’s wise. We’ve finally found someplace to rest without our people dying. Why should we leave?

Knox.

My little brother could still be out there. And I have family in Kansas. Is it smart to stay put in the first town that’s not trying to kill us?

As much as I don’t want to go, my gut tells me I need to. This might be where I’m forced to part ways with Tyler. I’d seen his relaxed smile earlier while he played soccer with some local kids. He was carefree and as happy as one could be during the apocalypse. He already has his family. There’s no reason why he should traipse across states and put them all in danger just so I can be possibly reunited with my brother.

The pain at leaving him behind twists my intestines, nearly having me doubling over and puking out the chicken and dumplings I had for lunch. I don’t want to leave him—or any of our group, for that matter. But maybe it’s for the best.

This morning, over breakfast, Jared extended an invitation to become a part of the St. George community. Permanently. It had appealed to me, so I’m sure they all felt the same way.

I should just go first thing in the morning. Spend one last night with Tyler, pack up a bag, and head out at first light. It’ll be painful, but it’s necessary. The more I think about it, the more I have this overwhelming desire to see Knox.

Maybe Tyler will choose to go with me.

I can’t put him at risk, though. It’s better if he stays here.

As if sensing my inner turmoil, I find Tyler watching me as he sips from a water bottle. A kid tugs at his jacket and points back to the game, begging him to play some more. Tyler says something to the child, but his gaze remains on me.

In his stare, I find heat and need, but there’s also something deeper. Something that locked into place when I pushed inside of him and we made love a few nights ago. Each night is more intense than the last. If I were reading about our relationship in a book, I’d be laughing at how unrealistic it is to fall so hard for someone in such a quick amount of time.

But this isn’t a book.

It’s my reality.

I’m obsessed with Tyler. I fucking adore him. He’s funny and smart and so damn good-looking. I’ll never tire of wanting to pleasure him both inside and out of the bedroom.

Leaving him is really going to hurt.

I force a smile at him and then turn my gaze to the ground, staring at my boots that still have mud caked into the seams despite having been hosed down since the day we lost Judy and Silas.

God, Silas would have loved it here. There are so many children around his age who are happy and playful. Not one of them is worried about where their next meal is coming from or if lightning is going to zap them as they run or if the ground is going to open up to swallow them whole.

Poor Silas. We were so close to having this for him.

I can’t do anything for Silas or Judy or Gerry or the others we’ve lost, but I can keep the rest of them safe by heading out on my own.

Tonight, I’m going to get the group together and break the news. Tomorrow, I’ll be leaving them all behind to set out to find my brother. It’ll hurt, but it’s necessary. I at least owe them a goodbye. Stealing away without telling them would be cruel.

Will Tyler hate me?

Of course he will. But not forever. With me gone, he can find someone his own age who lives here. Maybe Amy. She certainly appreciated his good looks and seems sweet. Tyler doesn’t need me. I’m just some old guy he’s been stuck with. It’s better this way.

Despite my inner convincing, my heart protests, beating wildly at the idea of leaving him here. Imagining Amy’s small, feminine hand on his shoulder or face or lower has disgust roiling in my gut.

He’s mine, dammit.

Tomorrow, he won’t be.

I wait by our motel rooms, anxiously pacing the sidewalk, right after dinner. Wayne is the first to arrive, a thick, bushy eyebrow lifted in question.

“I, uh, wanted to meet with everyone before you all head to bed. Can you give me a few minutes?”

Wayne frowns slightly but nods, leaning up against the wall and fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. Soon, Dan lumbers our way, head bowed, with Jesse and Hailey trailing behind. They hold hands like an old married couple.

Behind them, Aaron has his arm slung over Hope’s shoulders as they walk, the two of them grinning beautiful smiles.

Everyone’s so at peace here.

Tyler won’t leave his brothers and his brothers seem happy to be here.

It’s better that I go alone.

By the time Tyler says goodbye to Florence and strides over to us, I’m about to burst with nervous energy. Something in my expression tips off Tyler because one moment he’s wearing an easy smile and the next his lips thin out.

With narrowed eyes on me, Tyler says, “What’s going on, Kell?”

Grimacing, I tear my gaze from his to dart my eyes over everyone in our group. Dan is stiff and his features unreadable as he stares intently at me.

“I’m leaving,” I blurt out. “Tomorrow morning.”

Everyone is silent for a moment.

“You could give us a little warning before we all have to pack up and go,” Tyler says jokingly, though his strained voice makes it fall flat.

“Alone,” I clarify. “Tomorrow, I’m going to Kansas alone.”

Silence.

Aside from the laughter that can be heard from down the road as people head back home for the evening, it’s pretty damn quiet.

“No,” Tyler grits out.

“I’ve thought this out,” I say, but Tyler cuts me off.

“I said no, Kellen.”

Snapping my head up, I look his way. His jaw muscle ticks as he glares at me.

“I wasn’t asking for permission,” I bite back. “I have to find my brother—my family.”

The group is quiet as they watch us argue, none of them interrupting or chiming in.

“And I’m telling you it’s not happening,” Tyler practically growls. “I’m going with you.”

“No.” I give a vehement shake of my head. “You’re safe here. Your family and everyone else in this group is safe here. Everyone’s happy. Just stay here and live your lives.”

“Everyone else can stay here,” Tyler protests, prowling closer, “but I’m going. I’m not staying here. Staying long term here was never the plan.”

“The plan changed,” I snap. “Stay, goddammit.”

He recoils. “Why? Do you not want me anymore?”

Pain lances at my heart and a ball of emotion clogs my throat. Is he kidding? I want him more than anyone I’ve ever wanted in my entire life.

“It’s not that and you know it.” My voice is hoarse and brittle. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“Yeah, well, don’t,” Tyler hisses. “I can protect myself.”

Before I can open my mouth to keep the argument going, Dan clears his throat.

“We’ll all be packed and ready to go at first light,” Dan says in a quiet, no-nonsense tone.

“No,” I grumble. “Hailey should stay here. It’s what’s best for her.”

“Last I checked,” Dan clips out, “I’m her father. Respectfully, you don’t know what’s best for her.”

Aaron steps closer and clutches my shoulder. “We’re all going. As a group. I don’t know about the rest of you, but me and Hope have reservations about this place.”

I stare at him, stunned. “Reservations? It’s so…perfect.”

Dan huffs. “Until they run out of supplies.”

“Until the Costco empties out,” Tyler adds, voice still sharp like a blade. “Florence says the government will swoop in after that to ‘fix’ everything. I think they’re a bit delusional here. This is a temporary safe haven for them. It’s only a matter of time before it crumples.”

Frowning, I look at each member of our group. They’re really going to give this all up to travel with me. As irritated as I am at their stupidity, I’m also moved. It makes me feel cared for and a part of something.

These people are my friends.

Friends don’t abandon friends.

Okay, so now I feel like a total dick.

“Spoke with Jared this afternoon,” Dan says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like Tyler said, they don’t have a long-term plan. They think they’re riding out a literal storm. Not one of them feels the permanence of the state of the world. It’s like they’re so isolated from reality that they’re absolutely clueless, no matter how much we explain the horrors we’ve faced.”

“Didn’t you say your uncle was a prepper or something?” Tyler asks, some of the hostility gone from his voice. “He probably has a plan for a future. A real plan.”

Dan speaks up again. “I didn’t travel this far and lose damn near everything I hold dear just to give up now. I’m going to see my surviving child to the end of this and make sure she’s set up for the best possible life she can live, all things considered.”

Hailey cracks a semi-toothless grin at her father, which has him smiling. Jesse, clearly smitten with the girl, hugs her closer and kisses the top of her head.

I glance over at Wayne to see what his take is on the matter. He nods at Dan and says, “We owe it to Judy and Silas not to settle.”

Dan shudders at the mention of their names, but I know he appreciates the show of support.

“It’s settled,” Aaron says, smiling. “We’ll meet up with Jared and the others in the morning. Then we’ll head out.”

Everyone says their goodbyes and parts ways. Tyler stalks into our room and slams the door shut behind him.

He’s still pissed.

Sighing, I look up toward the cloudy sky and shake my head. I need to make this right. With a huff of breath that makes a white puff, I start after him. Once inside, I find him sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and face in his palms. Guilt rushes through me.

“Ty, I’m sorry,” I mutter, walking slowly over to him. “I was trying to do what’s best for you.”

His sardonic laugh is the only response I get.

Kneeling in front of his parted thighs, I grip his wrists and gently pull them from his face. His pained eyes meet mine.

“For the record, I don’t ever want to leave you,” I whisper. “I just want you to be happy and safe.”

He leans closer, dropping his forehead to mine. “I feel happiest and safest with you. I thought you felt the same.”

“Of course I do,” I rush out. “I feel so much for you, Ty, that it’s terrifying. For as little as I’ve known you, my feelings shouldn’t be so intense. But they’re there. Railroading my every thought. Being with you is the only good thing to have come from this nightmare.”

I tilt my head so that our mouths meet. At first, our lips rest on one another. Rejection stings my insides when he doesn’t kiss me, but then he groans in defeat, parting his lips to grant me the access I don’t just want but need.

We kiss like this until we’re both breathless and dizzy. Then I abruptly stand before pulling him to his feet. Cradling his head in my hands, I stare deeply into his eyes.

“You forgive me?”

Tyler rolls his eyes and nods. “Yeah. I’m still a little pissed but not pissed enough to stay away from you. You’re annoyingly addictive like that.”

Smirking, I pull back from him. “How about you take one last shower with me? I’ll get on my knees and beg for every last salty drop of forgiveness.”

Tyler’s eyes darken and his lips curl up on one side. “You play dirty, old man.”

I snort out a laugh. “It’s the only way to play.”