Wedding Bet (Fixer Brothers Construction Co #8)

12. Landry

12

LANDRY

My spine pressed up against the rigid, wooden back of the fancy chairs at the wedding ceremony, already making my lower back ache. I knew the exact type of chair Chase and Adam had chosen, because they’d texted me and Emmett to ask for advice six months ago when they’d really started getting deep into wedding planning.

Go for the ones without cushions , I’d told them. The ceremony is only thirty minutes long, and the wooden ones look sleek.

Now as I sat in the very chic, very uncomfortable chair as people started to filter in and sit down for the ceremony, I had one thought and one thought only: screw Past Landry.

In fact, that was the only thought that had been wrapping itself around my chest all day, like a snake slowly constricting around my heart.

Screw. Past. Landry .

I used to think the worst thing about the utter failure of my proposal to Parker was that I’d never be able to have hope for the future again.

Now I knew that was wrong. Dead wrong.

The worst thing about it was that I never could have expected Jamie to fall into my life.

He had finally given me a glimmer of hope again—just a little, so quickly and so unexpectedly—and it had been stamped out before it had any chance to grow.

I had been the one to stamp it out.

And when things had suddenly felt all too real, earlier today, I was pretty sure I’d fucked up royally.

I knew I’d been closed off. Hurt people hurt people , my mom had told me a long, long time ago. I was pretty sure that’s exactly what I’d done to Jamie today, and now I was sitting here with a dull, buzzing feeling of deep regret.

I couldn’t suffer another potential heartbreak, so help me God. Even the simplest idea of dating someone and giving myself a chance to get to know them sounded like a five-alarm fire to my heart.

But I also couldn’t imagine looking into Jamie’s eyes again and telling him I didn’t want more.

“Well, look at you , there, darlin’!” I heard from beside me in a thick Southern accent. I turned to see the biggest hat I’d ever seen. White, wide-brimmed, and just the right amount of floppy.

I glanced down and saw the lady rocking the hat. She was older, with plenty of wrinkled skin that looked just as good on her as the hat. She was probably in her seventies or eighties, even, wearing bright red lipstick, and wearing an equally nice pink dress.

“Hello, there,” I said to her.

“May I take that seat next to yours?” she asked.

“Be my guest,” I said as she sat down right next to me. The ceremony space was filling up now, but I still hadn’t seen Jamie walk in yet.

“Let me guess,” I said to the woman. “Louisiana? Mississippi? Alabama?”

“Oh, you’re close, honey,” she said, raising an eyebrow playfully. “Alpharetta, Georgia. Born and raised. Just a hop and a skip above Atlanta.”

“Georgia,” I said. “I’ve been to Atlanta a few times. It’s a beautiful place.”

“And it sure isn’t anything like this,” she said, waving a manicured hand around. “ Snowy mountains. Never thought Chase would be getting married here.”

“How do you know Chase?” I asked. “I’m Landry, by the way.”

“Very pleased to meet you. I’m Marianne,” she told me, smiling and shaking my hand. “His grandmother and I were the best of friends during college. We’re both southern girls, even though she up and moved her ass to California after we graduated. I’m so proud to see Chase getting married today. Don’t you just love weddings? I already feel a good cry coming on, and they haven’t even started.”

I smiled politely, shifting in my seat. My eyes kept glancing backward to see if Jamie had walked in, but now that I was talking to Marianne, I at least had a distraction.

“I’m not the biggest fan of weddings, these days,” I admitted.

“Why the hell not?” Marianne balked.

I just shrugged. “Been to too many lately. Wanted one of my own, and had a proposal turned down.”

Marianne frowned, reaching out a hand to rest her palm on the top of my hand. “I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. Must have been recent.”

“Not too recent, anymore,” I said. “It was about a year ago.”

She chuckled. “If you ask me, that’s not much time to get over someone refusing a proposal ,” she said. “That’s a tough one, kid.”

It made me feel strangely warm and cozy inside being called “kid” by Marianne. I was in my forties now, and it wasn’t often that I got to feel truly young anymore.

“I’ve kind of given up on love, if you want the truth,” I told her. “I recently met someone who I probably could have fallen quickly in love with, back in the day. But I’m older now. I know it’s not the path I’m meant for.”

“Not possible,” she said quickly, with a shake of her head.

“What do you mean?”

She clicked her tongue. “You can try to give up on love, but I promise it’ll never give up on you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek.

She’d said it with so much confidence, so much certainty.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

She let out a low chuckle, and just then, the string quartet at the front corner of the room started up with music. Almost all of the chairs were full now, and the wedding was about to start.

“My lifelong husband and high school sweetheart Gerald died six years ago, unexpectedly, from a sudden heart attack. Healthiest man I ever knew. Healthier than me, by far. But after three years of feeling like my life had been swallowed up and spit out, I found love again. Buying potatoes at the farmer’s market, for heaven’s sake.”

“That’s beautiful, Marianne,” I said softly. With the backdrop of beautiful classical music, her little story was even more moving.

She gave a nod. “Close yourself off to love, and you close yourself off to life ,” she told me, fixing two radiant green eyes on mine. “I learned the hard way. Oh, goodness, they’re starting to walk out, sugar! Hush up for the ceremony.”

As I turned backward again, I saw that everyone was finally taking their seats, getting ready to watch the aisle. My eyes scanned the seats for Jamie, but I couldn’t find him. It was another minute before I finally saw the tuft of his hair, tucked in the far back corner of the room, as he sat down in one of the last remaining seats.

Something settled instantly in my heart.

Knowing he was safe.

Knowing I hadn’t completely ruined his day, just because I’d had no clue what to do with him or say to him earlier. Being in the same room as Jamie felt better than being without him, and it was a scary thing to realize.

No more falling for people , I’d told myself a year ago, and I had meant it.

You fall so hard, so fast, and it always ends up with you hurt .

So then why did it feel impossible that Jamie could ever hurt me?

After the music had been playing for a bit, Marianne let out a soft sob as Chase’s mom walked down the aisle next to him, leading him down to where Adam stood at the front.

I glanced over to Jamie and saw him wipe away a tear, and as expected, Marianne had tears streaming down her face as well. I even spotted Parker and his new fiance, together at the back of the room, their eyes welling up. Shawn, Nathan, Emmett, and the rest of the Fixer Brothers crew were all smiling and crying at the same time. The whole room seemed to erupt into emotion.

I stood there, proud, wishing I could cry.

I was so happy for Chase and Adam that I could feel it in my bones, but the tears wouldn’t come. Had something truly broken inside me for good a year ago?

As the ceremony continued, Marianne reached over to grab my hand. I held hers, and we watched as Adam and Chase read each other their vows.

It was everything I used to want so badly. And now, I just felt numb.

After they were declared married and kissed, the room rang out with applause. It had gone by in a flash, and as the wedding party left the room, Marianne cheered. Some tension inside me released, knowing I wouldn’t have to be trapped in this beautiful ballroom with my ex, the sweet person I’d hurt earlier today, and myself.

“Now it’s time for the best part,” she leaned over and said to me. “Cocktail hour, then party time. And I do plan on having a good time tonight.”

I smiled, grateful for her company. I nodded once. “I’m ready to party, too. I’ll walk over with you.”

I accompanied her down the hallway to the bar lounge. Cocktail hour was being held here, and for the first time all week, the big, wooden double doors at the far end of the lounge were wide open, revealing a hall set up with tables, a dance floor, and more flowers and twinkly lights than I’d ever seen in one place.

It was stunning. Floor-to-ceiling windows covered the walls in the reception hall, with some of the most beautiful views of the mountains I’d ever seen.

“Isn’t that magical? ” Marianne mused. “It’s like a dream.”

“No kidding.”

“Oh! There’s Helen and Jennifer. I have to go say hello,” she told me. She turned back to me, squeezing my hand. “Thank you for your company, Landry. And remember, don’t ever close your heart to love. That’s some southern, old-lady wisdom for you, and you won’t regret it.”

I squeezed her hand back. “You’re a joy, Marianne. I’ll find you later on the dance floor.”

She nodded sharply, her hat dipping. “You better believe it,” she said. “I never miss a chance to dance. Bye now.”

She floated off to greet her friends and I leaned over the bar, which was one big, round oak circle at the center of the room. I got a whiskey on the rocks and leaned back, letting my eyes close as I took the first sip.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I turned, I saw Jamie’s face.

He looked better than ever. His outfit for the wedding was a perfectly fitted slate grey suit, one that brought out the blue of his eyes like they were two oceans against a storm. The faint dusting of freckles atop each of his cheeks was enough to pull me back under his spell.

A whirl of agonizing longing hit my heart, so quickly that it made my chest ache. In another world, I’d have done anything to be with someone like Jamie. He felt like a home away from home for me here.

I cleared my throat. “Thought you’d be avoiding me all night,” I told him gently.

His expression was serious. “I’m sorry,” he said simply, his eyes searching my face. “I was unreasonable earlier, and I know it. You don’t have to talk to me again, but know that I truly am sorry. For everything.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” I managed to say.

For the entire wedding ceremony, I’d been waiting for the moment when I’d start to cry, start to feel anything deeply at all.

And yet now here with Jamie in front of me, I felt as if every emotion was brewing right below my surface, threatening to blow up like a volcano.

No, this is just how you always used to feel , I chided myself. Falling for anybody who gives you affection .

But I didn’t know if that was even true. I’d been given a ton of affection, adoration, and attempts at something serious from random other guys over the past year—and I had never wanted more from any of them.

Jamie wasn’t just “anybody,” it turned out.

“Let’s be friends?” Jamie finally asked. “For real, this time?”

He held out a hand and after a split second’s pause, I reached out to shake it. Even that contact made me want to pull him in close and cover him with kisses.

“Let’s be friends,” I agreed.

Friends was what I’d wanted so badly, all along. So why didn’t it feel like enough now?

The dark box that I’d been stuffed in all year—that I’d stuffed every old hope and desire and feeling in after having my heart shattered—was starting to dissolve, bit by bit. It sent me into a quiet panic, as if everything inside of me wanted to keep that box firmly locked and stowed away.

But the box was slowly opening, with each moment I spent around Jamie.

He was making me feel vulnerable. Making me feel something.

“Friends,” he confirmed. His dimpled smile appeared, making me feel like a schoolboy with a crush all over again. “No more, no less.”

“No more, no less,” I said, already knowing it was a lie.